New thread title thanks to @MiniSpider 
Sending you 6 books you'll never read!
Last thread recap:
- Toothy Tina is still, and always will be, a bleep.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- she just happened to be filming while walking into Lula's bedroom while she was counting how much money she has. She stopped counting at £155, and said she'd found £20 in a drawer that she'd forgotten about. Lula said "I'm a rich witch"
- Raffle asked for book recommendations (probably as an excuse to ignore all the kids on holiday).
- It's GCSE results day, which means Sloshy being ever supportive to his first born, wandering around muttering about "damage limitation" and "you should have listened to me". When exactly, Mangina Malcolm? When you fucked off to notBarbados with your bleep wife during the first week of Seb's exams? Where you told him over and over that he was thick, and wouldn't achieve anything he wanted to? Of course Uneducated Ursula was on hand to remind everyone that qualifications aren't important, and she and Bumbag Barry both left school with not a single GCSE between them. The poor kid hadn't even collected his results at this point
- later on Lying Lynda could barely contain her teeth as she revealed that he had got the results for the course he wants to do well done Seb, from all the Tattle bastards! Unfortunately, she wants him to come and work for her, editing her videos 
let those bleeping kids go Racket, they're not around for you to control their whole lives. She called herself "his mum", even though we all know she's not his mum, he doesn't ever call her mum or refer to her as his mum
- with a spare hour, Raffle wanted to record a podcast. Birdsnatcher Bill was hoping for a quiet bite to eat in a cafe, but unfortunately now he's packed in work to be his rancid wife's lapdog, that's not an option any more. Get your arse on that bleeping podcast and pretend you're happy about it, pronto!
- fellow Instaprick Knee Deep In Life has brought her stinky pits down to Devon for a holiday, and has met up with Mannah and Gangsta Granny. Fortunately for us, she didn't bother meeting her rancid Insta bestie, so we weren't treated to a competition over whose fanny smells worse etc.
- Tattlers were absolutely disgusted to hear that Freebie Florence has been #gifted a brand new pushchair for Wobbler for the holiday - the child who hasn't been near a bleeping pushchair in months and months
and how long ago was the Torbay twit asking for a second hand one to be donated for one of her "warriors"? Wilbert doesn't even fit in the pushchair properly, and no doubt the minute they're back from holiday Evri Kevri will be round to pick it and take it to the tip.
- they've got an early flight, so will be having to wake up their level 3 autistic toddler up at 2am. With no prep or planning, it's almost like she's trying to engineer a meltdown for the Instagram content
- they're taking both Volvos to the airport, Joyce driving one with all the kids except Seb, who will go with Ratshit and the luggage in the other. Talk about looking after as few of the six kids who are "up her hole" from the outset.
- Never Read a Book Nora is taking 6 books with her to read while on holiday. Again, indicating her intention to spend as little time as possible parenting her kids and step kids.
- PA Jo proved she was worth her £60k a year by sorting out some toys and distractions for Wilbert while they're travelling. It's probably a waste of money getting him animal figures as he'll be glued to his iPad the whole time, but never mind.
- Merlot Malcolm got to board the plane first with Wiblet, leaving Racket to try to get 6 other kids on all by herself. What chaos will ensue? Lost kids, lost passports, lost luggage, a stray troll in the airport confronting her about the PayPal money? Must be exhausting being poor old Ramble
- on the plane, Betsy's friend GG proved herself as a worthy add-on to the chav family by taking her shoes off and putting her feet on the tray table in front of her seat
people put food on there, you scruffy cow!
- apparently Edie got "a full body search", yeah sure she did, Bullshit Barbara. She probably had a pat down, but that's not extreme enough for old Exaggerating Emma, is it?
- on the transfer from the airport, they were treated to the "worst thunderstorm", couldn't happen to a nicer head!
- in the pool, and Wilby was in a nappy, while 9 year old Edie was in a padded bikini
- maybe some suitcases had gone missing, as Betsy, Gigi and Lula had to share one outfit's worth of material between them
- Sloshua lived up to his name by slurring as he belittled Seb for having mussels, saying they were like "bogeys in a shell". How about you stop trying to stay in your rancid wife's good books by bullying your son, and just let him enjoy his meal in peace? Prick.
- meanwhile, all is not well back in the Snatchwork Scam HQ. Emily has not been wheeled out by Rectum in ages, didn't do any gushing birthday posts for Betsy, Edie or Wilbert, didn't attend Betsy's birthday party, and now she has unfollowed PA Jo and bestie Lianne
will she "resign" from the CIC?
- despite being on holiday, and having "raging tonsillitis" (self diagnosed), Flog It Felicity has managed to find the strength to do a quick advert for Patchwork Girls tote bags. She even managed to mark it as an ad, wonders will never cease!
- Thrushy Thelma shared some footage of Wilbert as the plane landed, by some miracle the level 3 autistic toddler wasn't at all phased by the change in his routine, being surrounded by strangers, all the weird noises etc that come with plane travel.
- back to the holiday, and Betsy and GG are hanging from a a night out where they didn't get in until 4am. They threw up in two separate clubs before coming back to the hotel. Standard behaviour for a couple of 18 year olds on holiday together, most people's mums aren't videoing everything and sharing it online for strangers though. Apparently no taxis would pick them up, probably because they were piss drunk and covered in their own vomit both girls fell asleep on their sun loungers, and Rabid took photos of them.
- there were some thrilling videos from the Snatchwork tat shop, one of a spider and one of a squirrel that got in. I bet both creatures regretted their life choices when they found themselves inside that 3d migraine
- not wanting to be left out of the "videoing sleeping teenagers" action, Bumbag Barry filmed Seb very weirdly, moving the camera around some poor bastard in the background was probably wishing he'd gone to Skegness instead, as Sloshua merrily filmed away with him and his child in the background. Aww, does the ex-copper not know anything about safeguarding? Maybe he could sign up to one of Rambo's many, many courses at the launderette to learn all about it! Oh hang on, Queen Lateetha, Patreon Saint of bleeping Everything is also uploading videos with other people's children in the background. You'd think someone who has worked so tirelessly for so many years would realise it's not appropriate to be showing other people's children online without the consent of their guardians, you know, in case they are adopted, in care, have fled domestic abuse etc
- as predicted, Ratface is spending as little time as possible parenting the child she begged and bullied Sloshy into conceiving with her, instead letting everyone else do all the work while she films and writes captions such as "the best day". Wilbur has been encouraged to push his family members into the pool, and run around. Sounds really safe
- over on the Patreon, Rawhide's paying followers are getting a load of tit for their money. Like, actual tit, that came out of Wilbert's nappy. Lazy witch couldn't even be bothered to take him to a changing room, and just did it poolside.
- Five Grand Watch Fergus is desperately trying to prove how good he is at Spanish, by mispronouncing Alcudia, and captioning a photo of him and the most beautiful woman in his world with "buenas noches". Maybe PA Jo should work on getting Racket an ad deal with DuoLingo or Babbel so he can actually learn the language and stop making himself look like a massive bellend. Obviously missing his regular selfies in front of the ridiculous mirror at home, he has luckily managed to find one in the hotel. Phew, we were all worried!
Running total of child free overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June:
Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
Joyce's birthday - night near Plymouth (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
Sending you 6 books you'll never read!Last thread recap:
- Toothy Tina is still, and always will be, a bleep.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- she just happened to be filming while walking into Lula's bedroom while she was counting how much money she has. She stopped counting at £155, and said she'd found £20 in a drawer that she'd forgotten about. Lula said "I'm a rich witch"
- Raffle asked for book recommendations (probably as an excuse to ignore all the kids on holiday).
- It's GCSE results day, which means Sloshy being ever supportive to his first born, wandering around muttering about "damage limitation" and "you should have listened to me". When exactly, Mangina Malcolm? When you fucked off to notBarbados with your bleep wife during the first week of Seb's exams? Where you told him over and over that he was thick, and wouldn't achieve anything he wanted to? Of course Uneducated Ursula was on hand to remind everyone that qualifications aren't important, and she and Bumbag Barry both left school with not a single GCSE between them. The poor kid hadn't even collected his results at this point
- later on Lying Lynda could barely contain her teeth as she revealed that he had got the results for the course he wants to do
well done Seb, from all the Tattle bastards! Unfortunately, she wants him to come and work for her, editing her videos let those bleeping kids go Racket, they're not around for you to control their whole lives. She called herself "his mum", even though we all know she's not his mum, he doesn't ever call her mum or refer to her as his mum - with a spare hour, Raffle wanted to record a podcast. Birdsnatcher Bill was hoping for a quiet bite to eat in a cafe, but unfortunately now he's packed in work to be his rancid wife's lapdog, that's not an option any more. Get your arse on that bleeping podcast and pretend you're happy about it, pronto!
- fellow Instaprick Knee Deep In Life has brought her stinky pits down to Devon for a holiday, and has met up with Mannah and Gangsta Granny. Fortunately for us, she didn't bother meeting her rancid Insta bestie, so we weren't treated to a competition over whose fanny smells worse etc.
- Tattlers were absolutely disgusted to hear that Freebie Florence has been #gifted a brand new pushchair for Wobbler for the holiday - the child who hasn't been near a bleeping pushchair in months and months
and how long ago was the Torbay twit asking for a second hand one to be donated for one of her "warriors"? Wilbert doesn't even fit in the pushchair properly, and no doubt the minute they're back from holiday Evri Kevri will be round to pick it and take it to the tip.- they've got an early flight, so will be having to wake up their level 3 autistic toddler up at 2am. With no prep or planning, it's almost like she's trying to engineer a meltdown for the Instagram content
- they're taking both Volvos to the airport, Joyce driving one with all the kids except Seb, who will go with Ratshit and the luggage in the other. Talk about looking after as few of the six kids who are "up her hole" from the outset.
- Never Read a Book Nora is taking 6 books with her to read while on holiday. Again, indicating her intention to spend as little time as possible parenting her kids and step kids.
- PA Jo proved she was worth her £60k a year by sorting out some toys and distractions for Wilbert while they're travelling. It's probably a waste of money getting him animal figures as he'll be glued to his iPad the whole time, but never mind.
- Merlot Malcolm got to board the plane first with Wiblet, leaving Racket to try to get 6 other kids on all by herself. What chaos will ensue? Lost kids, lost passports, lost luggage, a stray troll in the airport confronting her about the PayPal money? Must be exhausting being poor old Ramble
- on the plane, Betsy's friend GG proved herself as a worthy add-on to the chav family by taking her shoes off and putting her feet on the tray table in front of her seat
people put food on there, you scruffy cow!- apparently Edie got "a full body search", yeah sure she did, Bullshit Barbara. She probably had a pat down, but that's not extreme enough for old Exaggerating Emma, is it?
- on the transfer from the airport, they were treated to the "worst thunderstorm", couldn't happen to a nicer head!
- in the pool, and Wilby was in a nappy, while 9 year old Edie was in a padded bikini
- maybe some suitcases had gone missing, as Betsy, Gigi and Lula had to share one outfit's worth of material between them
- Sloshua lived up to his name by slurring as he belittled Seb for having mussels, saying they were like "bogeys in a shell". How about you stop trying to stay in your rancid wife's good books by bullying your son, and just let him enjoy his meal in peace? Prick.
- meanwhile, all is not well back in the Snatchwork Scam HQ. Emily has not been wheeled out by Rectum in ages, didn't do any gushing birthday posts for Betsy, Edie or Wilbert, didn't attend Betsy's birthday party, and now she has unfollowed PA Jo and bestie Lianne
will she "resign" from the CIC?- despite being on holiday, and having "raging tonsillitis" (self diagnosed), Flog It Felicity has managed to find the strength to do a quick advert for Patchwork Girls tote bags. She even managed to mark it as an ad, wonders will never cease!
- Thrushy Thelma shared some footage of Wilbert as the plane landed, by some miracle the level 3 autistic toddler wasn't at all phased by the change in his routine, being surrounded by strangers, all the weird noises etc that come with plane travel.
- back to the holiday, and Betsy and GG are hanging from a a night out where they didn't get in until 4am. They threw up in two separate clubs before coming back to the hotel. Standard behaviour for a couple of 18 year olds on holiday together, most people's mums aren't videoing everything and sharing it online for strangers though. Apparently no taxis would pick them up, probably because they were piss drunk and covered in their own vomit
both girls fell asleep on their sun loungers, and Rabid took photos of them.- there were some thrilling videos from the Snatchwork tat shop, one of a spider and one of a squirrel that got in. I bet both creatures regretted their life choices when they found themselves inside that 3d migraine
- not wanting to be left out of the "videoing sleeping teenagers" action, Bumbag Barry filmed Seb very weirdly, moving the camera around
some poor bastard in the background was probably wishing he'd gone to Skegness instead, as Sloshua merrily filmed away with him and his child in the background. Aww, does the ex-copper not know anything about safeguarding? Maybe he could sign up to one of Rambo's many, many courses at the launderette to learn all about it! Oh hang on, Queen Lateetha, Patreon Saint of bleeping Everything is also uploading videos with other people's children in the background. You'd think someone who has worked so tirelessly for so many years would realise it's not appropriate to be showing other people's children online without the consent of their guardians, you know, in case they are adopted, in care, have fled domestic abuse etc - as predicted, Ratface is spending as little time as possible parenting the child she begged and bullied Sloshy into conceiving with her, instead letting everyone else do all the work while she films and writes captions such as "the best day". Wilbur has been encouraged to push his family members into the pool, and run around. Sounds really safe
- over on the Patreon, Rawhide's paying followers are getting a load of tit for their money. Like, actual tit, that came out of Wilbert's nappy. Lazy witch couldn't even be bothered to take him to a changing room, and just did it poolside.
- Five Grand Watch Fergus is desperately trying to prove how good he is at Spanish, by mispronouncing Alcudia, and captioning a photo of him and the most beautiful woman in his world with "buenas noches". Maybe PA Jo should work on getting Racket an ad deal with DuoLingo or Babbel so he can actually learn the language and stop making himself look like a massive bellend. Obviously missing his regular selfies in front of the ridiculous mirror at home, he has luckily managed to find one in the hotel. Phew, we were all worried!
Running total of child free overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June:
Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
Joyce's birthday - night near Plymouth (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
🫣
