PTWM #133 Who’s that with the turned-in toes?Somebody has learnt how to pose.

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Can she not see the irony of someone with 4 kids to three different dads and constant Fanny diseases moaning about contraception/safe sex 😂🙈
 
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Is it just me or is Dani at the shop really annoying? She seems to think she's something when in fact she's someone ratchet bumped into in a park and has been sucked in.
 
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Is it just me or is Dani at the shop really annoying? She seems to think she's something when in fact she's someone ratchet bumped into in a park and has been sucked in.
They are all a bit soft (apart from Astrid & Emily. Emily is young, but she’s not daft.) I can’t believe she’s binned off Jo’s part in PTWM but kept her on the sinking CIC. Honestly with Rachael as a friend, you do not need enemies.

Literally like saying “Well duck you very much for the last two years Jo, but I’m not going down with you.” 😂😂
 
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I honestly don’t get these two. They say one thing and do another and then we get called trolls because we dare to question it. Will be interesting to see how they manage when the kids are all off over the summer!
 
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Wow what a tit show they are, round of applause for (absent) parents of the year 👏👏👏👏 I actually nearly horrifically vomited at the clips of her dead chuffed she had just had sex with her husband, imagine that?! Does she think no other married couple do it. Making out they have to make the most of their time away?! You're basically Siamese twins woman! They are both home every day, alone or pissing off kid free for another night away. I just hope more and more people see how toxic she is. It really does make me think even more that she had a stable, good childhood because there's no way you go trough trauma and continue to treat your kids this way. Its personally made me so much more aware of every element of my parenting. Im the parent I needed as a child. I've put my all into being a mum.

Correct me if I'm wrong but she's never normally had Granny Marshall doing childcare as she? I know with the boys but it's not usual with T. I think the mates who would die and kill for her are slowly disappearing. I hope she and Sabbatical Simon will soon after start actually parenting. Its not fair to put on his mum like that. I hope she tells them where to go or Mannah tells her.
 
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Interesting chat from LPTMS today… can’t help thinking it’s aimed at a certain person…
 
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I think they are struggling with babysitters now Stabby has gone, bekind is on holiday, Nostrils seems to have taken a step back, jo is busy running the tit show. So Granny Marshall to the rescue. I wonder what E’s dad makes of all their galavanting, surely if you’re kids being left with who ever all the time, you would soon question why that parent is the main carer?
 
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I think they are struggling with babysitters now Stabby has gone, bekind is on holiday, Nostrils seems to have taken a step back, jo is busy running the tit show. So Granny Marshall to the rescue. I wonder what E’s dad makes of all their galavanting, surely if you’re kids being left with who ever all the time, you would soon question why that parent is the main carer?
She literally doesn't care who she leaves them with as long as she doesn't have to look after them!
 
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They're still in London, not in any rush to get home to the kids especially poor T.
 
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I wonder if T’s behaviour is just attention seeking as she gets ignored so much? That she has these “meltdowns” to try and get her mum to actually comfort her?
 
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I wonder if T’s behaviour is just attention seeking as she gets ignored so much? That she has these “meltdowns” to try and get her mum to actually comfort her?
Wouldn’t surprise me. That poor kid is like the forgotten child
 
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Another cracking thread title from @Lucyinthesky88 , which I had to edit for length. The full version was:

Who’s that with the turned-in toes?
Somebody has learnt how to pose.
Could it be Rach with her stolen dosh?
Don’t be silly - it’s Instabitch Josh.

We're gifting you a cancelled holiday in notSpain and a career break so you can dry hump your significant other in front of a mirror all afternoon 💜

Last thread recap:
- Reacharoundio is, as always, a bleep.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- a new day, a new bout of oversharing from BV Barbara. She's revealed that Seb has suffered from cystitis twice in the last 6 months. The stepson who is only 16, and already had the fact that he'd gone to the sexual health clinic broadcast on her public Instagram. If only Gucci Glenda didn't feel the need to sell out the privacy of children in her care for likes and attention online 😬
- she has also apparently not come on her period. But seeing as she is always on or just about to be on, is she just trying to get speculation going that the next cash cow may be on the way? I bet the tight circle of seventy billion trusted babysitters are crossing their fingers, toes and eyes that it's just late coming.
- oversharing Olive was at A&E for her own bout of cystitis, but despite her being so unwell she had to attend A&E, she bravely managed to piss about on her phone doing a q&a on Instagram. What a trooper! There was some rambling about why Wilbert has her surname and not Hot Pant Harry's (because none of her other kids has it), they're paying for a private diagnosis for Lula, but it's ok because Splash the Cash Sharon ran into an Educational Therapist (sure you did , hun) who told her she's doing all the poor people (the ones who eat egg and chips for tea and don't have named trainers) a massive favour because it's freeing up a place on the NHS waiting list for someone else. What a hero! Someone asked about notBarbados and she wrote a long, rambling answer which barely mentioned the actual holiday, just wanged on and on about how her and Roast Dinner Rick love each other the hardest, and more so when they haven't got the kids around. Wilbur is starting nursery in September, just 3 months after Merlot Malcolm started his career break, to *checks notes* look after Wilbur 🧐
- it was noted by Tattlers that her visit to the hospital was after she had been swimming, which begs the question of whether she was really ill enough to warrant a visit to A&E, considering that cystitis isn't generally either an accident or an emergency, and if it is bad enough to warrant a hospital visit, stopping off to go swimming beforehand isn't usually on the list of priorities 🤷
- Career Break Colin has been making excellent use of his time at home by taking photos of himself with his new £140 bum bag in the giant mirror and getting them reposted by the company. Never mind that short fella that he's meant to be looking after, dressing up like something out of Dora the Explorer and posing is far more important.
- Weeping Wendy shared a video of herself bawling her eyes out from 2019, with not a lot of explanation. Tattle detectives could give MI5 a run for the money, as it was quickly noted that it would have been filmed around the time Stabby Jo's boyfriend stabbed someone (and then they went to the Patchwork horror house for shelter). Was she being trolled? Or just worried about implications for Titwank Terry's career having harboured the perpetrator of a potentially fatal stabbing?
- apparently now Vagina Vera is passing blood clots. Thanks for sharing, hun. Although knowing how dramatic she can be, it's probably just the period that came a few days late 🤷
- A snippet from what appears to be Clotty Claire's new book shows her talking about Wilby's diagnosis, how it made her feel, and likening it to going for a pregnancy scan and being told there's no heartbeat. How lush for Wilbur to read when he's older, that his diagnosis (that she paid for) was compared to losing an unborn child.
- in a serious dose of karma, the Big Family Holiday to Portugal (which isn't in Spain) is all off. Tattlers everywhere spat out their fizzy cat's piss and danced around in their Sheepers in delight, as karma finally appeared to bite Oh Are We Olivia on her arse. Ratshit said she'd booked a villa through "someone who messaged her on Instagram", who has now come back and said that as the owners have had some work done, it's going to cost twice as much, and poor old Designer Debra isn't paying it. What really happened is open to speculation, with suggestions that Beggy Mitchell thought she was getting a freebie and was then expected to stump up the cash and threw her toys out of the pram over it, or that with Stabby Jo on the toxic list there was no live in babysitter coming to look after the kids while Racquetball and Sloshua love each other the hardest in notSpain, or just simply that the scammer has been scammed...
- not content with the PayPal money, the ad money, the book money, the Patreon money and the shop money, Racquetball is now on the beg for yet more dosh from the huns to do up the next Patchwork launderette. While "dripping in Gucci". Because women in crisis really care about the place looking lush and having leopard print cushions, don't they? This time it's a "fun day", for a measly £5 a person to get in, with various stalls and activities inside, all raising cash for the Patchwork tit show.
- Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber took time out from their busy schedules to film themselves dry-humping on the chair in front of the giant mirror. I bet Rawhide's various employees (the dog walker, the cleaner, the childminder, the gardener, whoever's running the shop, launderette and packing centre) are overjoyed that their boss is SO BUSY SAVING LIVES that she's paying them to cover every aspect of her life while she loves Stone Island Steve the hardest ever on a weekday afternoon.
- Freebie Freda has been busy making up "lucky dip" packs that will be available to buy at the Patchwork Fun Day, only £5 and you will get a selection of crap, including signed books, Iconic makeup and Rescue products. Basically, all stuff that Rancid either got for free, or has been paid to advertise, and no longer wants.
- one of the very close circle of trusted babysitters (all twelve million of them) has taken Wobbler out to a supermarket. Which he loved! How is it that any old stranger manages to do these things with him, when Ratchet and Sloshy can't get out of the house without getting headbutted? I mean, it couldn't POSSIBLY be that Gold Bath Gloria is exaggerating his behaviour for sympathy, could it? 🧐
- speaking of the gold bath, Period Pants Pamela hasn't yet said that she's splashed what she could have spent on a boob job on one, but she has said that she needs a hot water supply to the toilet so that she can have the sprayer attachment for her grubby hole. It's a bit harsh really, surely Titwank Tony is big enough to shower himself 🤷
- The Patchwork tit show empire is getting yet another accountant, looks like Sweaty Betty's brother has been flung on the "toxic" pile with anyone else who's ever tried to call Queen Lateetha out on her behaviour. Maybe he has discovered where the PayPal dosh really went, and wants no part of it. Anyway, PA Jo is meeting with the new one, because she controls all the money, and poor little Turned in Toes Tessie doesn't understand taxes and stuff. She possibly doesn't realise that "I don't understand it, Jo looks after all of that" will not really cut it with HMRC when they come a-knocking, seeing as she is listed as a director of the company.
- turns out the accountant (Sweaty Betty's brother) has had a breakdown and pissed off to Vegas. So first the accounts were late being filed, and she's now changed accountants twice in a very short span of time. Maybe the next Wilbur inspired jumper should say "red flag"?
- Racket and Five Grand Watch Fred are heading off to London for a very important work meeting. Which you would have thought strong, independent Rango, who used to spend her time driving through the night to rescue women from abusive homes, would be able to attend on her own. But no, Norman Noballs has to attend, in case he accidentally puts his pecker into someone else's nesting box 🤮 meanwhile, Gangsta Granny is holding the fort, with a text exchange with Rambo stating that Tallulah is "really upset" and "not herself at the minute". Which begs the question, why do two adults, neither of which have an actual job to go to, feel the need to piss off to London and leave her with Granny, for no good reason other than they love each other the hardest and want to drink fizzy cat's piss and pretend they're having a one night stand without having to bother parenting the many children they created and/or stole? Remember guys, Sloshy's career break was to "spend more time with the kids", wouldn't this have been a perfect opportunity to be a stepdad worth having? 🤷
- while Lula's having problems at school and having to be picked up by Gangster Granny, #parentsoftheyear have been shagging all afternoon in the hotel 🤮🤮🤮 and even managed to fit in a shopping trip. I'm sure all her followers who have children with ASD can totally relate 🙄




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😂 Think that's my favourite recap yet! The nicknames are brilliant ❤
 
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Why does she think having sex with your husband is such a big deal? I take it she thinks the huns will be jealous. Imagine having to kiss that mouth 🤢
 
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