LinaLamont
Well-known member
I’m sure it’ll all go swimmingly. . .
- Notice
I have family members in prison, the difference is I know them.
I wouldn't write on a personal level, one to one to anyone I didn't know male or female, prisoner or non prisoner. I'd be worried in case they were a bit of a weirdo, developed some sort of obsession, got annoyed about not getting a response (that's just me) You just never know with people. Would they have your address? It's also easy to look people up.
It's very nice of you to think about how lonely they might be but I would be very very careful, as you say do your research. What about elderly people in care homes? I think you can volunteer for age UK to speak to elderly people who are lonely. I used to speak to a lot of elderly people through my work & they really appreciated it.
I wouldn't write on a personal level, one to one to anyone I didn't know male or female, prisoner or non prisoner. I'd be worried in case they were a bit of a weirdo, developed some sort of obsession, got annoyed about not getting a response (that's just me) You just never know with people. Would they have your address? It's also easy to look people up.
It's very nice of you to think about how lonely they might be but I would be very very careful, as you say do your research. What about elderly people in care homes? I think you can volunteer for age UK to speak to elderly people who are lonely. I used to speak to a lot of elderly people through my work & they really appreciated it.
littlepup
VIP Member
Just saw this news story and thought of this thread. No judgement - just may be interesting
Woman killed by partner was his prison penpal for eight years
Woman killed by partner was his prison penpal for eight years
LinaLamont
Well-known member
I think your reasons for doing it are admirable but I hope you’ve done extensive research into the person you’ve written to. I had a nosy at the link you posted and it states that the prisoners provide the reason as to why they’re in prison. The site says that whilst it verifies the info given, in most cases the full scope of their crimes is not detailed. And even if you’re doing this with good intentions the person on the other end could tell you absolutely anything and you’d be none the wiser as to whether it was true.
ProphecyGirl
VIP Member
Hello
Has anyone ever had a pen pal in prison?
I have just written my first letter to someone and want to know if anyone has any experiences to share or any advice on the type of things to write into the letters?
It's something I have always wanted to do so I finally wrote one! I hope to hear back, it's all very interesting to me
Has anyone ever had a pen pal in prison?
I have just written my first letter to someone and want to know if anyone has any experiences to share or any advice on the type of things to write into the letters?
It's something I have always wanted to do so I finally wrote one! I hope to hear back, it's all very interesting to me
LinaLamont
Well-known member
Yes but Jimmy's mother and Frank's sister can't help who they're related to. You deliberately sought out two random convicted drug dealers so you could be pen pals.
oh I called you naive!
you clarified you’d read the comment I made wrong so your subsequent reply to me was incredibly naive
The beauty of this site when it comes to advice is you get a mix of replies, take none to heart, you’ve raised a topic and many have added their own experiences or thoughts,
at this point I think admin should do an assessment on everyone who sets up an advice thread because 99.9999999999999999% they cry for it to be removed if they don’t get the answers they’re looking for.
A woman I used to go to school with popped up on my 'FYP' on TikTok - her video had over 100k likes and it was a 'Get Ready With Me' video about how she does her makeup etc. to video chat with her inmate boyfriend. I was super curious so found her on Facebook and it seems she used the Write A Prisoner site and has ended up in a relationship with the inmate she was writing to. She has just set up a business with his Mum over in the USA so that she is eligible to buy a house for them to live in when he's out... Really hope it turns out well for her, I for one couldn't do it!
wtf
why are we spending millions rehabilitating these criminals if you can predict their future?how do you know what their financial situation will be on the outside, after serving time and making connections with fellow inmates?
This is incredibly naive
I follow a girl on social media who had an American prison pen pal. She used to post a lot about him, especially focusing on how he had changed and you need to get to know people before judging. She flew out to the USA a couple of times to visit him and stayed with his family I believe. But he murdered someone with an axe. I'd never be able to look past it.
She doesn't post about him now so I think they must have fallen out. But that's scary in itself isn't it... He knows her address etc.
I also think that prisoners will say anything for attention. They are bored shitless in prison so will have as many lady penpals as they can keep up with.
She doesn't post about him now so I think they must have fallen out. But that's scary in itself isn't it... He knows her address etc.
I also think that prisoners will say anything for attention. They are bored shitless in prison so will have as many lady penpals as they can keep up with.
alwayslurkin
Well-known member
Just my two cents for what it's worth...
If you do decide to go down this path, make sure you keep your wits about you. Don't share personal details like address, phone number etc. Until you have at least met the person! As you can gauge far more from face to face than you ever will from paper/email.
I think people are right to be concerned for you, and anyone doing this (not all comments were nice but I mean the place they were coming from), as it can very quickly spiral out of control.
Always remember that at the trial (if it was Crown) there was a jury who sat there and saw this person. Listened to their side of the story. Listened to the witnesses, the victim impact report etc. That are just "normal" (as in, the general public) people who decide to push ahead with a guilty verdict.
We can debate law all day but I'd really keep in mind any case that went to all the way to the Crown and the public still said guilty.
If you do decide to go down this path, make sure you keep your wits about you. Don't share personal details like address, phone number etc. Until you have at least met the person! As you can gauge far more from face to face than you ever will from paper/email.
I think people are right to be concerned for you, and anyone doing this (not all comments were nice but I mean the place they were coming from), as it can very quickly spiral out of control.
Always remember that at the trial (if it was Crown) there was a jury who sat there and saw this person. Listened to their side of the story. Listened to the witnesses, the victim impact report etc. That are just "normal" (as in, the general public) people who decide to push ahead with a guilty verdict.
We can debate law all day but I'd really keep in mind any case that went to all the way to the Crown and the public still said guilty.
Lovegin
VIP Member
It’s quite interesting reading some of their bio’s , I’ve already found a rapist murderer and man who’s in for burglary 1 ( I’m not sure what the 1 stands for), I wouldn’t write to them though, I’ve found another who’s out in a few months, I wonder if he’s looking for somewhere to stay!!!
LaurieLaurie
VIP Member
I’m a bit concerned by the idea that they aren’t bad people, they are in there for a reason. I would always see the good in people until I got to know what I thought was a hardworking family man, turns out he was also a violent drug dealer that beat people up in front of his daughter over unpaid debts. They only portray what they want you to see but the truth comes out eventually.
alwayslurkin
Well-known member
100% this and I do agree with it.
However, keep in mind the type of environment prison is. It's basically a place where criminals get to meet other criminals, and isn't the rehabilitation place everyone thinks it is - it should be, but the reality is that it isn't.
There is a reason people come out of prison and re-offend. I'd just be very careful that they aren't using you, because most of them will be.
I fell down this rabbit hole as well and blimey... Looking at the bios of some of the lifers, a lot of them say they had tough childhoods, made some wrong decisions, were under the influence etc. They are very convincing but then you google the crimes and they are absolutely horrific. I wish I hadn’t looked.
They seem very eloquent and you’d have no idea how depraved their crimes were reading their bios. Also, many of them ask you to include your address in the letter, can you imagine?! I can really see why people think 99% of them are evil master manipulators.
They seem very eloquent and you’d have no idea how depraved their crimes were reading their bios. Also, many of them ask you to include your address in the letter, can you imagine?! I can really see why people think 99% of them are evil master manipulators.
Last edited:
SummerLeaves2004
Well-known member
WORD.
To get involved in this type of thing is just odd.
If you have time on your hands spend your time wisely by doing something more conducive to society.
Stick to watching American crime dramas on the box.
ProphecyGirl
VIP Member
I tried to avoid this thread after making it but I will answer this. Sorry it's long and some points are irrelevant...
I'm in my late 20's, I am also very street wise (as someone suggested I aren't) because I've had to be in my life. I've known both bad & good people who've been in prison, for example someone beat up a known pedophile in the area and got sent away for it, yeah it wasn't a clever thing to do and two wrongs don't make a right but not everyone is a bad person. Another person I know got into a really bad fight, two drunken people and one got the better of the other and got sent away for around 2/3 years. It shouldn't have happened, they both behaved like animals but nobody died or was beat up so badly they were in hospital on the brink of death. She's now out of prison and she's a totally different person, focusing on her career and keeping out of trouble. I've known people come out and either turn their life around completely or go down the same route. Some people continue to be a bad person and I've seen this happen too.
My intention isn't and has never been to "help make these people a better person" or to find romance - as I know this seems to be a trend popular on TikTok. As for my research, I've looked into their crimes, court cases and I've also looked at other people's experiences, read several forums as I would never go into a situation in my life totally blind.
The reason I am (personally) doing it, is just to give these people something to do, someone to talk to, some people are on there for this reason and others have other intentions, sometimes you can see this straight away and some, not so much. I've not picked people who are 'attractive' and I haven't picked someone who's committed an unforgiveable crime either.
American prisons seem to be worse than the UK. There are young girls in there who've maybe robbed a store or attacked someone, sometimes in self defense and sometimes out of anger - which doesn't make it right but sometimes these people find themselves in trouble or live a troubled life, if they haven't committed . People who are in there because of their skin color and so on. I will not be asking about their crime, I am not doing it out of curiosity - it's just something I've always wanted to do and during lockdown and spending it alone looking at my four walls, suffering mentally it made me think of these people, who haven't committed a really bad crime who do this everyday and will be for another year or two, who maybe a few letters might brighten their day.
I used to be a very judgmental person. Assumed everyone who didn't do everything by the book was a bad person. I followed the rules, didn't do anything wrong. Now I am not that person anymore and realize mistakes happen. I'm not saying a mistake is stabbing someone by all means but the likes of fighting, cheating, drug use. I used to think all of these people would go to hell, scum of the earth sort of people. And that said more about me, judging others, than it does to be understanding.
I do not wish to speak to anyone who's committed a horrific crime. I also am now aware of other Pen Pals and it's something I would be interested in too. There's no limit on how many you can have.
I appreciate the nice comments, advice and people who were genuinely concerned and told me to be wary though
sorry I haven't replied to you all!
NapQueenReturns
Chatty Member
I haven’t judged you, I asked a question. You’re awfully defensive, aren’t you.
MaineCoonMama
VIP Member
That I what I said to her when Manson and Ramirez died but she said she won't sell them as it wasn't her intention to profit from others grief (meaning the victims families).