Pregnancy

[Instashamous]

Hi everyone! I’m 32 weeks with much wanted and tried for number 2! Been a long journey with 6 early miscarriages but we are almost there
Everything has been tough this time with working through the pandemic and my midwife notes are very empty.
Planning a home birth this time around pending baby moving out of transverse lie and my iron levels going back up to where they should be.

 

[Hairraiser]

1st pregnancy following IVF treatment in July. 6 years to get here, stage 3 endometriosis, blocked Fallopian tubes and PCOS, that was stopping me from getting pregnant! Anyway, had my 20 week scan recently, all went well in terms of his size and no abnormalities found, found out the sex and then at the end she tells me I have placenta previa, after a brief explanation I totally freaked out so have researched since and feel abit more calmer about it now, there isn’t a lot I can do, only hope that it moves on its own, however, I’m not fussed about a C-section if it came to it. Have had horrendous morning sickness up until around 3 weeks ago, (now 23 weeks) had 3 weeks of being able to feel slightly normal again and get back to work, then I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, insulin controlled. I have read so much about gestational diabetes occurring due to being overweight and the foods you eat! This couldn’t be further from the truth, obviously having a high BMI doesn’t help, but I am not overweight and always been careful about what I eat, my paternal family members have it and I have PCOS so my risk of getting it was pretty high regardless of weight.
I’ve felt pretty low in mood since the diagnosis, im
Constantly on edge incase I’ve eaten too much of something, not eaten the right thing, not eaten enough, it’s a bloody minefield! One thing I will say, my Hospital trust have been absolutely amazing, so supportive and schedule in an appointment every 2 weeks until the baby is here to keep an eye on things, this is the standard for everyone I believe! But the diabetes midwives have been brilliant (who knew they were even a thing) I feel like I’m chatting to a close friend when I speak to them, it makes such a difference to my anxiety. I hope the next 3/4 months go nice and smoothly and I don’t have any issues with the diabetes, my little boy is the most important thing to me now and I’ve not even met him yet! It’s crazy how we can love something so much that we haven’t even seen. Luckily I have an amazing husband and family who are really supportive so have been picking me up when I’ve had a few tears, it’s not good to bottle things up.

The best feeling in the world is feeling him moving, kicking around! I smile and laugh so much when he’s really active, it’s a lovely reassurance that he’s doing just fine in there. It’s taken ALOT of hard work to get here, IVF is probably the most physically and mentally draining experience of my life so I feel totally blessed to be in this position. I do my best not to moan to anyone (other than my husband) about pregnancy symptoms, as I know how difficult it is for those who are struggling to conceive, or perhaps had a recent miscarriage or stillbirth. It’s absolutely your right to moan and feel fed up during pregnancy, cause it isn’t easy, but I will always have that in the front of my mind to be mindful of what I say and to who.

I hope that last bit doesn’t make me sound like a bitch, I’m just flying the flag for my fellow infertile friends who i have met along the way and haven’t yet had their baby. I will always support them even though I have been successful this time round,

 

[jazyblu]

I just hit 9 weeks yesterday! I had my booking appointment today and it started to feel real a bit, counting down to my scan which is arranged for the 6th of Jan. Temped to do a private scan before then because I'm just too impatient.

I'm hoping my sickness is starting to wane. It was really bad for 3 weeks but the last 5 days have been okay. Discovered at my booking appointment I have lost 6lbs in the last 3 weeks from the nausea. I'm quite petite so I don't want to lose any more than this. Fingers crossed I'm out of the woods.

Have you all been able to bring your partners to the scans?

 

[moimoi]

Told my mum today and she reacted exactly how I thought she would, like I’m 15 and up the duff.

‘Why would you do you that?! What you gonna do for money? (I earn more than her and my stepdad combined) You don’t have any family where you live. I’m so disappointed. I told Sharon at work that my kids are better than that and I’ll never have grandchildren!’

Tried to hold back the tears tbh.

Merry Christmas I hope you all have better and more supportive reactions.

 

[Kitt]

Ok call from the hospital. Got a scan at 12:30. They said if my hcg level is over 1000-1500 they’ll do a scan and mine is 18,000. What the heck. So I’m in a flap and getting ready to go to the hospital. I’ll let you all know how it goes!

 

[Chickenandgravy]

I'm 8 weeks pregnant with twins (although only one heartbeat so find out tomorrow if the other has started or if it's just going to be one baby!) Struggling with bad nausea

 

[Upintheair83]

Hi lovely people just wondering if anyone can help settle my nerves.

I’m 28 weeks, FTM, baby was very unplanned but a happy surprise. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 7 years. We are very close. I keep getting jittery / panicky about how this is going to change our relationship. I really treasure our alone time and I know we won’t really have any again. I’m scared, if I’m honest, that we’ll grow apart! If anyone wants to share the positive ways in which having a baby changed their relationship I would be so grateful... feels like from the minute you get pregnant people love to tell you how crap your life’s gonna be...

I really sympathise with your post- my baby is very much wanted and was planned but I still have days like this- yesterday being one of them. It’s not just panicking about life after. But also the birth and the pain associated with it. I start to remember birth horror stories and it fills me with panic! I begin to doubt myself and get really scared about...everything! It’s like the enormity of it sometimes consumes me. But then I have a word with myself and I’m fine again. But I think a lot of it is hormones and the fear of the unknown, and is natural. I can’t imagine any mum or dad not worrying at all about how their life would change or a mum to be not worrying at least a little bit about the birth. Surely it’s human nature?
And I understand what you mean about people saying things like ‘it’s all downhill after a baby’ , ‘you’re never going to sleep again’. Like shut the f up! These people usually have more than one child who say it to me and I think well if it was that bad why did you have children again and again? its just like birth, if it was really that bad why do women go through it again and again? Surely it must be that the good outweighs the bad?
I mean, I don’t know. Il be a first time mum and I’m trying myself to navigate these feelings. All know is that I have a loving partner and I can’t imagine not being a mum- Iv wanted it for so long and honestly didn’t think it would ever happen as time was running out for me. I think our lives will change- that is for sure- but I reckon it will present different sort of memories and experiences and I think that’s exciting.
I really do get what you are saying and your post really stood out to me. Please feel free to DM me anytime you like because I gave these feelings too- I’m sure it will all be ok and I think like the other poster said, it will make your closer to your partner and you will enjoy the experience together. We’ve got this hun. Xxxx

 

[littlepup]

Did anyone regret finding out the gender and wish they'd kept it a surprise? I feel like finding out would make things feel more real though.

I found out with Harmony and the only thing was that it meant a lot of the excitement was over in one hit early on. You know everything then have to wait until 16 weeks for anything else to happen, bit of an anti-climax. That said, I kept saying to OH 'imagine if we were still waiting to find out, I'd be going crazy' - it made me feel more in control and made it all feel more real too. I'm glad we did find out.
Perhaps find out for yourselves and then find a special way to tell others so you still can have a bit of fun with it?

Woke up this morning and I just don’t feel pregnant at all, and I don’t mean so much the morning sickness etc...I just don’t! I mean I’m so grateful that my heads not down the toilet all the time and that Iv gone off food but I don’t know, it’s making me so panicked.
My friend who’s pregnant and the same 11 weeks as me, has bought a Christmas jumper with Xmas pudding on and bought her partner a card from bump for Christmas- but I haven’t even had the thought to do any of that! I’m just so worried I’m not pregnant anymore and it’s not real. I’m sure I will get to my 12 week scan next week they will say Iv wasted their time. After reading about Missed miscarriages I’m just so paranoid it will happen to me.
Has anyone else felt this way? Is there something wrong with me that I don’t feel excited at the minute? But worried? Xx

I felt like this every other day at the start. As for the Xmas jumper and card from bump etc, I didn't/wouldn't do anything like that early on, if at all. (TBF I hate that cutesy crap, as if a bump isn't enough to let people know you're pregnant, really ram it down people's throats, Just what women who are struggling want to see at Christmas.) Until the 'viable' stage at 24 weeks I didn't really truly believe my pregnancy would end in a baby.

I posted before about not feeling overly bonded with my pregnancy. Someone wrote about how you can love so much something you've not met and laughing and smiling every kick. Well, I definitely haven't felt like that!!! It worried me so much for a while but the midwives have all said it's totally normal, many women feel that way particularly when it's been a difficult or painful pregnancy. They said it has no bearing on bonding with baby when they arrive, they've even seen ladies who've felt totally bonded with their baby in their belly and when they arrive they can't reconcile the reality to the fantasy/expectation and find it really traumatic.
I think the point is that, so long as you are taking care of yourself, there's no one right way to feel or behave and it doesn't indicate anything about your eventual relationship with your child.
Also, reading idiots on Instagram saying things like 'So in love with my miracle, my body is so amazing, I love every moment of this journey, its made all my relationships stronger' etc is total bullshit and not helpful to anyone!

 

[littlepup]

Lying awake absolutely terrified. Woke up about 40 mins ago and started getting pain very low in abdomen. At first it was leading to passing wind and I was like ok intense trapped wind. Then the pain got worse and worse. I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything like it. Stopped passing wind and just started to feel sick. I got really hot and queasy. Went to the toilet and was sick a bit. Pain eased. I went for a wee and wiped, no blood but bit of colour in discharge. Lying in bed now and pain starting to come back. I’m 5 weeks and 2 days so I’m so frightened I’m losing it I’m so scared.

I'm really sorry you're going through this.
Do you still have that shoulder pain? You should go to A&E if so. Perhaps you should go anyway, given the combination of symptoms.
Look at your local hospital midwifery/maternity pages - there should be an emergency number to talk to a midwife, tell them you had the issue before. If not, 111 should be able to contact them to call you back too.

Not all pain or bleeding means miscarriage but you need to speak to someone. Even if they tell you to watch and wait.
If you really, really don't think it could be ectopic, tomorrow, first thing, call the midwife or the doctor and ask for/how to get a a referral to the 'early pregnancy unit', explain everything including the shoulder thing. They should scan you. If you think there's any chance though, go in, it can affect future fertility.

 

[MrsJones83]

I have anterior placenta so I’ve only recently started feeling movements, but baby just gave me the biggest kick that I even felt from the outside for the first time

 

[jazyblu]

12 week scan went well! Took a while to get some of the measurements as baby was jumping up and down so much. Even did the downs blood test and didn’t faint which is not like me

I have an official due date now, I had one from a private scan but the midwife wouldn’t use it, she would only go off LMP which was 5 weeks earlier than the pregnancy!

 

[Whaaaaat]

The first 12 weeks is definitely the worst. I got NO symptoms and I mean none! I missed my period, did a test and it was negative. Period still hadn’t come a week later and got a positive. Then nothing - I wasn’t tired, nauseous, boobs didn’t hurt. I did more pregnancy tests to be like am I? Aren’t I? I even said sorry to my husband before the scan because I was sure I’d just made the whole thing up and convinced myself I was pregnant.

I didn’t get any real bump until I was about 25 weeks and even at the end I looked about 6 months pregnant rather than 9 and still no real symptoms apart from heartburn. It was only when I used to get movement I finally settled and accepted I was definitely pregnant.

So those who aren’t getting symptoms or a bump don’t worry - it can be normal. I just class myself very lucky that I had such an easy pregnancy and I loved every second, especially when I finally got my bump and could show it off

 

[BettyCrocker]

I’m 26 weeks, second pregnancy but will be my first child after a loss this year. First trimester was hard as so exhausted and nauseous plus so anxious for the pregnancy. Second trimester has luckily been pretty uneventful apart from being a bit out of puff. So jealous of women who keep exercising til the end, I’m not the fittest anyway but wasn’t too bad but literally by 6 weeks was breathless on minimal exertion and now my legs feel dead whenever I have to climb some stairs so bit concerned third trimester is going to be pretty exhausting again.

For those who feel a bit clueless and worried, I read the Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill which was a really nice summary of all birth types and how to view them positively and not be scared. I’m also doing the Positive Birth Company digital pack which teaches you hypnobirthing techniques to feel in control of labour as I’m a control freak doctor who has never been admitted to hospital before

I’m now reading the Positive Breastfeeding Book as that’s the thing I’m finding most daunting, if it’s not easy peasy it sounds like it can get very complicated with pumping, combi feeding etc etc!

dont feel daunted by breast feeding. Try it - if you get on ok with it, that’s great but if it’s just not working and it’s causing any hassle or stress then just go to formula. As long as your baby is fed that is the only thing that matters.

 

[Upintheair83]

How has it been for you all going to scans alone?

I went for mine yesterday and the women were lovely and made me feel so relaxed. All went fine and said baby had a strong heartbeat and I’m 13 weeks 3 days! was just such a relief to know all seems ok and to see the scan xx

 

[Stimpii]

I’m due this month Telling myself I’m gonna go overdue, but in reality I’m desperate to go into labour

 

[elloelloello]

I have my early scan booked in tomorrow morning to make sure baby is growing in the right place and not ectopic. So nervous but I’m sure it’ll all be fine

 

[Definitelyme]

For any mums hoping to breastfeed for the first time, I would say arm yourself with lots of information. I’ve breastfed 3 kids for 2+ years each and I will still read up this time to remind me. Things to look out for especially are:

•Good latching position for newborn and what to do if it’s not good
•Normal baby behaviour for a breastfed baby (eg feeding frequently and for long periods)
•Where to go for help (breastfeeding group, lactation consultant)
•And please remember not many midwives are up to date on breastfeeding and don’t have the specialist training needed to help if you have major problems, sadly. It’s one of the reasons the UKs bf rate is so poor.

And for all FTM I would suggest reading up about the fourth trimester, again a bit about normal baby behaviour. So often babies are expected to feed them sleep and be put dow alone when the reality is that’s totally alien to them and many won’t want to!

 

[Macmama]

@Octopies
best thing you can do to prepare is to read up on the 4th trimester and prepare yourself for normal newborn behaviour, IMO. But having a newborn for the first time is exhausting and overwhelming at times, it’s such a change so there isn’t much you can do to ready yourself!

Strong second on this.

There is nothing that really prepares you for life with a newborn for the first time, but having an understanding of newborn behaviour will help you massively.

Get a good sling, get a freezer and cupboard full of food and plenty of comfy jammies. Also would say to go to lush, get yourself a bath bomb and a nice face mask and tuck it away somewhere. On the worst day, sneak a little time for yourself if you can, shut the bathroom door and chill. You have to take care of yourself to take care of a baby. Knowing what I know now, I’d tell my exhausted younger self to stop trying to be super mum, and be kinder to herself.

Also get a steel rod for your spine and get ready to master your ‘thanks, I’ll keep that in mind’ bullshit face. No matter what you do, someone (usually unsolicited) will tell you to do more/less/better/different. You’ll feed to much, you’ll need to feed more, baby will weigh too much, baby will look like a starved child. You’ll use the wrong formula, you’ll get told you’re only breastfeeding so you can wave your boobs about Tesco, you’ll make the bottles wrong, you’ll use the wrong bottles. You need to get baby in a routine. Your routine will be wrong. You’ll sing the wrong lullaby. They’ll sleep on the wrong sheets. They won’t sleep for 11 hours like Betty McPantsOnFire down the road. You won’t do things ‘like the old days’.

You’ll hold the baby too much, you’ll make a rod for your own back, you’ll make bad habits... and it’s all total shiiiiiite. So you need to master that ‘polite smile, but I’ll kill you’ look now, and start trusting your instincts.

 

[moimoi]

After my sweep at 12 midday had contractions at around 12 midnight, worst feeling was felt like my bum was about to fall off! Unexpected ha
Called hospital told me to take paracetamol etc but ended up going in as felt I was in too much pain, was 9cm and gave birth a few hours later!
Super quick progression

Totally like nothing I expected (though I had no birth plan and tried not to read too much) but it’s beyond surreal having her here

Lovely news, hope you’re both doing well!

Happy New Year, ladies! Here’s to our 2021 babies! I’ve just spent midnight vomiting up my Domino’s from earlier. I guess it can only get better from here.

 

[Jg182]

Thanks all for your comments. I just feel devastated. Just feel a total mess and not sure how I’m gonna get through these next few weeks of tests and waiting