Thanks lovely. We’re not even looking to necessarily buy it yet, we just want to go see some in the flesh and check they’ll work for us. The Orroco that we’re now leaning towards is supposed to be heavy and I have a bad back so giving one a bit of a test drive is a good idea but I will more than likely source it second hand, which will be whenever something that looks good comes up locally. MrDragName’s siblings have children but were neither geographically nor emotionally close to them so we have no experience of all this stuff. We wouldn’t be getting anything till after the 20 week scan anyway because of all the stuff we have going on! Ahhh, parents. One day Junior will be on an internet forum complaining about me I guess and laughing at the safety measures that were in place when they were a newborn just like I’m aghast that I may have never had a car seat! (I do remember a booster seat as a small child though, so I wasn’t completely without!)It sounds full on. I have quite a few self confidence issues and anxiety and honestly it’s kind of helped me be the parent I needed when I was small. I understand why my parents had their issues etc etc however the difference is that I’m trying to break generational trauma and am thinking of how I can help raise my child with a healthy foundation for whatever life throws at a later stage. That was a long way of simply saying - just trust in yourself. And you are so right - the superstition stuff isn’t helpful more so when you’re going through something as mental as pregnancy. We got our travel system early and we have a wonderful, healthy 3.5yr old.
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My mum has been offering to come and help but I’m not sure what this means. MrDragName has to travel for work and whilst his bosses do understand there is going to be a period of time when he will basically refuse, that can’t last forever. So we assumed MotherDragName might come and just be a second person when MrDragName is away, at least the first time. But I get the feeling she is up for moving in for a few weeks and honestly, as much as the thought of getting to grips with this parenting lark makes me feel overwhelmed AF, I think MrDragName and I just want to go it alone with the appropriate tattle thread for newborns and google as our friendsI would be lost without my Mum but she did not agree with me doing BLW for feeding and the other day she said “I don’t think it made any difference to her do you”
I think you learn quite quickly who is a help and who is a hindrance when you have a baby. Hopefully she’ll be a help, it might not be too bad when MrDragName is away as you can just do your own thingMy mum has been offering to come and help but I’m not sure what this means. MrDragName has to travel for work and whilst his bosses do understand there is going to be a period of time when he will basically refuse, that can’t last forever. So we assumed MotherDragName might come and just be a second person when MrDragName is away, at least the first time. But I get the feeling she is up for moving in for a few weeks and honestly, as much as the thought of getting to grips with this parenting lark makes me feel overwhelmed AF, I think MrDragName and I just want to go it alone with the appropriate tattle thread for newborns and google as our friends
parenting is overwhelming but you find your rhythm, which is very unhelpful of me to say but genuinely, you get to know what works for you and the baby ******* and is the path of least resistance
Hope that’s not patronising, my daughter is 2 now and these threads have a special place in my heart as they were so helpful when I was pregnant and unmaternal AF.
I found it overwhelming looking at all the different travel systems, we are swaying more towards the Joie finiti bundle at the moment and I like that it comes with the 360 car seat that does the lie flat too. Will probably change my mind a bunch more times before we buy
It can be difficult with family, everyone has an opinion and wants to share their advice I've found whether I ask for it or not. Some of it is helpful, but I find it a bit overwhelming!
My partners sister used reusable nappies for her two and his mum used them too, I felt a bit pressured that we would too but honestly as much as I like idea of them I think to start with at least I'd rather use disposable nappies. My partner and I have compromised that we will use reusable overnight and disposable in the day, I had to point out when he goes back to work i would be doing a majority of the nappy changes
It can be difficult with family, everyone has an opinion and wants to share their advice I've found whether I ask for it or not. Some of it is helpful, but I find it a bit overwhelming!
My partners sister used reusable nappies for her two and his mum used them too, I felt a bit pressured that we would too but honestly as much as I like idea of them I think to start with at least I'd rather use disposable nappies. My partner and I have compromised that we will use reusable overnight and disposable in the day, I had to point out when he goes back to work i would be doing a majority of the nappy changes
Not at all, it’s super helpful and I really appreciate it!I think you learn quite quickly who is a help and who is a hindrance when you have a baby. Hopefully she’ll be a help, it might not be too bad when MrDragName is away as you can just do your own thing
*** and is the path of least resistance
Hope that’s not patronising, my daughter is 2 now and these threads have a special place in my heart as they were so helpful when I was pregnant and unmaternal AF.
A lot of superstition comes from practicality/avoidance of a bad outcome and a belief you can change your fate.
Don’t put shoes on the table - yes because it’s dirty and spreads germs and makes you sick.
Don’t walk under a ladder - something might drop in your head and kill you.
Don’t break a mirror - they used to be really expensive and it could cut you.
The pram thing harks back to when childbirth was more dangerous and we didn’t have all the other gear we have now. Bringing the pram into the house is not going to affect any outcomes and it would be the last of your concern should something terrible happen
Don’t put shoes on the table - yes because it’s dirty and spreads germs and makes you sick.
Don’t walk under a ladder - something might drop in your head and kill you.
Don’t break a mirror - they used to be really expensive and it could cut you.
The pram thing harks back to when childbirth was more dangerous and we didn’t have all the other gear we have now. Bringing the pram into the house is not going to affect any outcomes and it would be the last of your concern should something terrible happen
Anyway the point of that ramble is to please try not to let any thought about superstition with negative outcome affect you. Something simple like that can cause a lot of anxiety totally unnecessarily when the big hormones kick in.
I would politely say that you respect their belief but don’t wish to hear ideas on how anything you do can create a negative outcome useless it’s a recognised fact and even then, if it can’t be changed now, you don’t want to hear that either.
There’ll always be someone saying “oh you drank wine before you knew, my ex-colleagues, god-daughter’s, niece did that and the baby has FAS” or something equally unhelpful that'll pop into your mind at 3am and worry you.
My favourite thing about parents is when they say “pffffff we never had any of this when you were little and you’ve turned out ok” and I’m like mmm yes sure. Absolutely not fighting any demons here and going to therapy mum. Sure.
I second these!! They’re my usual bras pre-pregnancy too! Love them x
The unsolicited advice seems like a must to some. Sounds more like masked complaining or trying to convince themselves they did thw right thing and you should too.
The best advice I heard the first time around about anxieties is that bad mums don’t worry if they’re a good mum or not, so just the fact that you’re worrying shows that you are a good mum.
My mum is very superstitious too and was mortified when we bought (and brought home!) our pram before I was even 12 weeks pregnant with baby Skates number one, but it was on such a good deal we couldn’t refuse.
My mum is very superstitious too and was mortified when we bought (and brought home!) our pram before I was even 12 weeks pregnant with baby Skates number one, but it was on such a good deal we couldn’t refuse.
The pram thing also never makes sense if you use the same pram for baby no.2 
it’s already in my house… I’m not going to remove it now
it’s already in my house… I’m not going to remove it nowThank you, that’s so helpful! I know this deep down because I genuinely have more common sense than I ever portray here
but I tread a tight line with my anxiety and whilst my anxiety has massively eased up since becoming pregnant (which really makes me question my wonky hormones and what they’re doing to me but anyway), one false move and anxiety will win! I also don’t want to offend my Mum and her beliefs nor do I want her to think I think she’s a tit parent. She was in a mad other era where they basically stuck babies to the top of cars with cellotape and went down the motorway This was the vibe of ‘you never even had a car seat coming home!’ For sure. She’s been aghast at the dietary recommendations. She isn’t really a drinker so the ‘don’t drink alcohol’ is one she can get on board with. She has views on the fact that I shouldn’t be lifting and carrying but hid her own pregnancy till about 8 months and got up to all sorts of lifting and dragging and decorating and all sorts so it’s kind of weird than on one hand she wants me to have a more protected pregnancy but on the other hand thinks modern standards are nutty.
Thank you
I know it’s not going to be the thing that makes everything go wrong. Deep down I know this to be true, but I could just do without the reasons to doubt myself!
I’m a HGV driver and my mum/gran are the exact same!!! Don’t go lifting anything heavy is allllll I hear
I’m still going to the gym and constantly get told my by MIL I should stop
She’s not top of my list of who to take advice from let alone fitness advice
We’ve gone for the Joie Finiti bundle with the Ramble bassinet and recline car seat. We had a tough time deciding as there’s so much choice it’s overwhelming! So many reviews of everything online that I was finding fault with everything. We ended up going to an independent shop that had a range of brands.I found it overwhelming looking at all the different travel systems, we are swaying more towards the Joie finiti bundle at the moment and I like that it comes with the 360 car seat that does the lie flat too. Will probably change my mind a bunch more times before we buy
It can be difficult with family, everyone has an opinion and wants to share their advice I've found whether I ask for it or not. Some of it is helpful, but I find it a bit overwhelming!
My partners sister used reusable nappies for her two and his mum used them too, I felt a bit pressured that we would too but honestly as much as I like idea of them I think to start with at least I'd rather use disposable nappies. My partner and I have compromised that we will use reusable overnight and disposable in the day, I had to point out when he goes back to work i would be doing a majority of the nappy changes
Yes this is the one that we are planning to get as well I think! We tried out a few different ones in John lewis after I looked at so many different ones online. I liked that this one isn't too bulky, but still seemed good for different terrains and has everything we were looking for. It's not even one I'd looked at online so I definitely think it helped going into a shop and having a look!
I work in an open plan office and one of my colleagues vapes at his desk when the manager isn’t around. I despise vaping and smoking and feel sick at the thought that I’m breathing in their disgusting fumes. I want to raise it with management but I work in a place who usually do nothing about complaints like this. I also don’t want them to be suspicious about why I’m complaining as I’m not planning on telling them I’m preggers for ages yet so I had the window open beside me all day freezing my bits off instead
Yeah that’s gross pregnant or not!
Also surely the smoke alarm could risk going off which would mean unnecessary down time so a cost to the business…
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