Pregnancy #64

[Angelchops]

Yeah with my first I was wanting to be one of those who do the whole no pain relief, but after my waters broke early and for over 24h nothing was progressing I was put on the hormone drip, not long in I was asking for something think it was pethidine I had first? Then begging for and getting an epidural

It’s 26 years since I had my son but your situation sounds very similar, except the anaesthetist recommended I have an epidural before they started the drip. Thank god I did as I ended up needing an emergency c section and was able to avoid a general anaesthetic. My contribution to gossip is that my son was born an hour or so before Brooklyn Beckham. (Weak I know, but all I have ).

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

I’ve not been reluctant to tell people per se - it’s more everything feels too good to be true and the more people I tell the more I feel like I’m jinxing stuff. We waited until 12 weeks to tell immediate family and close friends. But also - I cannot hide because I look like I’m 7 months pregnant already

 

[LavaFlake]

Been having very light spotting on and off for a couple of weeks. Have some symptoms of pregnancy like exhaustion and a bit of nausea (not spewing though like last time with Baby Lava). I’m seven weeks tomorrow and hoping for a private scan next Friday when I’m 8 weeks.

It’s such a nerve wracking time this first trimester. Before baby lava I had a missed miscarriage and I do still hold a lot of trauma from that. Pregnancy last time I was wreck at this age and the spotting would have pushed me over the edge but tbh with a 15 month old I just don’t even have the capacity to be like that this time around.

This little potential bean was a complete accident but now I want them so bad

 

[anything at all]

Baby is 12 days old and I can’t stop thinking about having another..what’s wrong with me

happened both times after having a baby for me

though this second time I’m less serious after csection and 2 under 3

 

[BWinter]

im so sorry for your loss, please know it wasn’t your fault. If you haven’t already, please reach out to the GP and ask for a referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic - they used to only see you after three, but it’s now dropped to two.
my mum had me at 38 and I turned out fine, lots of women are having babies into their 40s now - I’m sure there’s a few of us on this thread that are older mums.

Yep - I didn’t start trying until I was late 30s, will be 41 by the time bump arrives. Don’t believe all the doom mongering about everything failing after 35. Look after yourself xx

 

[Keera]

Im happy for anyone who had a brilliant natural birth or whatever birth they wanted. But I didn’t and it was really traumatic and it’s a personal issue for me that hearing others talk about their perfect births makes me feel even worse about mine that I “couldn’t do it how nature intended”. But again I recognise that’s a personal issue.

Some women in real life and across these threads (and influencers threads when they share birth stories) are v preachy I find.
But anyway it’s a debate prob for another thread and not this one

 

[Spencerskates]

Congrats! I had 4 glasses of Prosecco the day before I found out I was pregnant, and am lying next to my very healthy and strong almost 2 year old. You’ll be fine

I remember us both stressing about this at the time - I had just done a long run and celebrated with a bottle of wine and a steak so rare a good vet could have got it back up and mooing!

 

[Vmanxx]

This has been discussed before but for the love of god WHY does instagram insist on showing me stillbirth reels?!? (And miscarriage ones back in the 1st trimester while I was experiencing bleeding after my last pregnancy ended in miscarriage)

This morning’s one being weirdly specific, a woman who has 3 boys, pregnant with a girl who was then still born at 38 weeks. Guess who’s 38 weeks today with a girl after 3 boys…nice one insta

 

[Shinythings]

I'd love a little live feed to my womb. The kid is currently doing what can only be described as a YMCA/Macarena mash up in there. I'm wondering to myself, what is it actually doing? Is it just flailing around for no reason? Does it know what it's doing?

 

[Scorpihoe]

My delulu birth plan says “gas and air only, natural unmedicated birth pls ” but I know full well once those contractions hit I’ve got that epidural on speed dial!!!

 

[anonesk223]

Not sure if this is the right thread.

I’m 28 and fell pregnant unexpectedly. I think I’m about 5 weeks? I’m in a 2.5 year relationship. We’ve made our decision to abort but we are both absolutely heartbroken.

We don’t earn loads of money. My partner earns less than me. He’s had financial difficulties in the past and has only just found a job he likes, with possibilities to move up in the future.

We rent a tiny one bedroom flat in an expensive area. We still have a temporary sofa, and wardrobes without doors. We have been using our money to slowly build the flat up.

We don’t see a way we can make it work. If we move to a cheaper area, we lose what little support system we already have.
Sadly our families can’t support us financially.
Partners paternity package is appalling (2 weeks statutory pay) and mine is 8 weeks full pay and then 16 weeks half pay.
We can’t live off just one of our salaries or even part of our salaries. We’d have to have the baby straight into childcare which is horrible anyway, and we couldn’t afford. We can’t really afford anywhere bigger just yet.

I completely understand and agree, but I’m so resentful and upset at the state of the world. We both work full time and we can’t afford to have a child - it’s so unfair.
We wanted the time to be exciting and not stressful.

My partner suggested that we spend the next year or two taking it really seriously and saving money so that we are better prepared. He said we set a deadline (say, two years time) and even if we are in the same position, we start trying again anyway. At least we will be prepared.

I am so heartbroken and just wanted to vent I guess..

Thank you for all your kind words I keep thinking
I’m ok and I keep having waves of just sobbing. Right now I just don’t know how I’ll ever stop feeling sad

 

[calmyourritas]

My baby is almost 9 weeks and I miss being pregnant ! I want to eat all the food and not feel too guilty

I also got way more sleep while pregnant. Some say pregnancy tired/sleep is worse than newborn sleep but I say they’re all lying cause I’ve not had a good sleep in 9 weeks !!

Newborn sleep for me was 10000% better than pregnant sleep it’s so funny how it’s different for everyone

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

In a follow up from my 12 week scan meltdown, I was so upset about how it had gone and the fact that the failure to screen had been put down solely to my BMI that I decided to talk to my midwife about it. She escalated it to a more senior midwife who called me yesterday and was really nice. It turns out I’m not the first person to raise stuff like this about this particular sonographer , someone else reported a similar experience a couple of weeks ago and they believe other women have experienced the same but haven’t wanted to speak up on a formal or informal level about it. So, because I did want to speak up on an informal level it’s going to the line manager as feedback. I don’t doubt the sonographer is good at her job, it was just her lack of communication with me and then talking really fast about the quadruple test being my only option that left me really upset. I had a private scan on Sunday, with an ex-NHS midwife of 40 years. I told her about my nhs scan experience and she just explained everything so well to me. Explained all the things the sonographer will have recorded about what she saw that I can’t see in badger notes. Explained that it can be super hard to do the screening because the babies don’t behave as they’re expected to. Mine is a proper mover and groover (I have no idea if that’s normal or not because I’ve never seen a live scan and assumed babies just floated about sedately till I saw mine wriggling around!) and loves being faceplanted, loves hugging the back of my uterus and also loves lying on its side facing my spine. So, screening measurements were always going to be hard. I mentioned my bmi had been blamed and she was a bit more ‘eh, it’s not really the be all and end all’. She had me move about to scan different ways but at no point jabbed me hard in the abdomen with the scanner. Because it wasn’t a screening scan I felt like we got lots of time to watch our little JuniorDragName and I have 23 images and videos. I do understand a private scan will always have a different purpose and the nhs scan was about important medical stuff and that should take priority, but not everyone has the luxury of affording extra scans whenever they feel like them, and all it would have taken was the nhs sonographer taking a bit more time to talk things through so the parents can enjoy the view whilst the sonographer does what they need to.

NIPT screening bloods tomorrow, we’ve decided to find out the biological sex of the baby as well. I know it’s dumb but my mind is blown that that is even possible.

 

[ahtisyourself]

That’s really rude and intrusive of them. Unless the name is Adolf I think they need to step back and realise that anything other than “that’s a lovely name” is unwanted and overstepping. For those exact reasons I’ll be keeping our chosen names to ourselves. Were finding out the gender and will be revealing that so my excuse will be “I have to leave something as a surprise”, but really I just don’t want any opinions or the old “I dated an X back in 1997 and they were horrible”. No one will say anything once baby is here and named. The names you have chosen above are perfectly lovely so I’m sure the others are just as pretty

 

[Scorpihoe]

We went for a 5D scan today! I was so worried it was going to be a waste of money because I have an anterior placenta but seeing my lil baby go from grumpy to smiley was all worth it 🥹

 

[HankMcPrank]

estimated 8 weeks yesterday, no little munchie is 8w5days. 🩷🩷

 

[LockdownLurker2020]

Do people keep asking you what are you going to name the baby? I'm reluctant to share the gender because the name question comes right after.

Yes i was asked this all of the time both pregnancies. The only person (apart from my husband) who knew my babies names before they evacuated the premises was my mum everyone else wasnt told because i couldnt be arsed with their unwanted opinions because people are arseholes and always have something to say

 

[lilykestrel]

Had the EPAU on Monday. We had to wait a week because I was so early. All fine, was 6 weeks on the dot, saw heartbeat. Got scan to take home.

I just still feel mentally completely fucking wrecked.

Spoiler

There isn't a day that goes by where I'm not filled with dread or crying. And driving my husband up the wall and upsetting him telling him that I can't do this and I don't want to do this, which I don't even know if it's true. I had an initial consult with the perinatal mental health team yesterday which felt somewhat unproductive. Essentially just throw open the cupboard of my medical record and have to give potted history of adverse childhood experiences various and then they said they can't say if I have perinatal depression I could just be in adjustment and to wait a few weeks and then go back to my GP if I'm still in a mess, also they can't really help because I said I wanted to stay with my private therapist (as I've been working with her for 7 years and I know her method works). So they're still there and I'm very grateful I saw them so quickly and I can be re-referred if needed but having to trot out and be asked about all the things I hadn't thought about for years and years was rotten.

Hoping my therapy session tomorrow will help me work towards turning a corner and quieten down/heal the parts of me that are triggered and jumping up and down screaming. It's just so scary when you're completely stable and functional for years and then it's like a switch has been flipped and I'm just spending the work day staring into space not doing anything and/or crying.

 

[Shinythings]

I’m 19 weeks and it still doesn’t feel ‘real’. We know the gender. I’ve had no symptoms at all throughout and I still feel no different whatsoever! No movements yet. I look no different other than a bit bloated.
I’m wondering at what point it will hit me and feel real/sink in! Anyone else felt like this? X

I'm 30 weeks and it absolutely doesn't feel real. Even buying all the stuff just feels like I'm playing pretend.

 

[anything at all]

34+1 and I’ve hit a wall today. I’m really hoping when people say newborn plus toddler is easier than pregnant plus toddler that they’re not lying! 4 more weeks at work to go and considering finishing earlier. I really want to maximise time with baby though and went 15 days overdue first time so not sure what to do

newborn and toddler was easy to a point for us … it felt like for the first 6 weeks all my baby did was sleep and rarely cried, after that hell broke loose it did get easier again at 12 weeks .. and we still have bad days but you figure things out to make things work and it does get easier again.

all babies are different of course but for 6 weeks I really thought what on earth have we done