Pregnancy #64

[LittleMissMuffet]

My favourite thing about parents is when they say “pffffff we never had any of this when you were little and you’ve turned out ok” and I’m like mmm yes sure. Absolutely not fighting any demons here and going to therapy mum. Sure.

 

[HankMcPrank]

Hi I’m unsure if this thread is appropriate .
But I’m in tears I can’t stop thinking badly, I’m struggling to sleep.
My son (15) had a wilms tumour, had chemotherapy and the kidney removed. X-RAY yesterday confirmed he has something in his chest, his oncology doctor is convinced it’s cancer spread and we are floored.

He is thinking positive that it isn’t. But I am preparing for the worst news.
Also I am nearly 12 weeks pregnant. I remember reading somewhere when mum is happy baby is happy etc. I feel down & empty & upset, but I’m trying not too. Because 1) they found it early 2) it can be treated but I just can’t believe I’ve got to witness my poor son go through all that again.

I’ve made the decision life is just cruel.

 

[RoseyThorney]

Can’t believe in the last thread’s poll I selected 19-26 weeks preggo and now my baby girl is here and over a month old. 🥹🥹

 

[Keera]

This sounds a bit crazy but it’s dawned on me that
1. I have no clue on how to feed a baby? What’s safe now? What’s the rules now on making formula etc? Sterilising?
2. How do I know what to dress them in? How do I know if they are too hot or too cold
3. I don’t even have a clue
🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣

Formula isn’t recommended to be made and stored in the fridge for 24 hours anymore (although you still technically can), the NHS recommends using pre-made formulas for out and about but of course this can be pricey depending on how often you need to do it. 2 hours at room temp before discarding. Formula cans have the rough age/weight and how much they should be taking but it’s best to be led by baby how much they want to eat. You can over feed a baby (on formula) but in my experience babies are good at pushing the bottle away when they are done and you’d need to really push it to over feed them.
Machines like the rapid cool can cool the boiling formula down to drinkable in seconds/minutes so no waiting 30 mins anymore
some bottles can be sterilised in a microwave etc but personally I have a Milton bucket and tablets for cold water sterilising as I find it easiest.
Rule of thumb for dressing is one more layer than you have on - for example in the house if u wear a tshirt and leggings then baby would have a vest T-shirt and leggings. And use judgement but outside usually always a hat under 18degrees. Cold babies will cry, hot babies look flushed and sweaty.

(and don’t worry - I’m a nurse who actually did the qualification to become a health visitor in 2022 and I still now have to ask the internet/tattle and Google a lot of things - you learn as you go )

 

[Scorpihoe]

I’m 34 weeks, I have all the symptoms, I feel my baby move constantly, I’ve had about 10 scans…

and last week I took a pregnancy test husband thinks I’m mad
Pregnancy is a wild ride, hormones are all over the place and the anxiety never goes away!

 

[fastandthecurious]

I got obliterated the week before finding out about #1 most would say she turned out ok… I sometimes wonder but think it’s her dads genes lol

Thanks everyone. Sadly anyway I think I have experienced another miscarriage

 

[anonesk223]

Not sure if this is the right thread.

I’m 28 and fell pregnant unexpectedly. I think I’m about 5 weeks? I’m in a 2.5 year relationship. We’ve made our decision to abort but we are both absolutely heartbroken.

We don’t earn loads of money. My partner earns less than me. He’s had financial difficulties in the past and has only just found a job he likes, with possibilities to move up in the future.

We rent a tiny one bedroom flat in an expensive area. We still have a temporary sofa, and wardrobes without doors. We have been using our money to slowly build the flat up.

We don’t see a way we can make it work. If we move to a cheaper area, we lose what little support system we already have.
Sadly our families can’t support us financially.
Partners paternity package is appalling (2 weeks statutory pay) and mine is 8 weeks full pay and then 16 weeks half pay.
We can’t live off just one of our salaries or even part of our salaries. We’d have to have the baby straight into childcare which is horrible anyway, and we couldn’t afford. We can’t really afford anywhere bigger just yet.

I completely understand and agree, but I’m so resentful and upset at the state of the world. We both work full time and we can’t afford to have a child - it’s so unfair.
We wanted the time to be exciting and not stressful.

My partner suggested that we spend the next year or two taking it really seriously and saving money so that we are better prepared. He said we set a deadline (say, two years time) and even if we are in the same position, we start trying again anyway. At least we will be prepared.

I am so heartbroken and just wanted to vent I guess..

 

[indeedjoy]

Had my 20 week scan today and they confirmed it’s definitely a girl!
She wouldn’t play ball and I have to go back for the remaining measurements

 

[nolite]

Posted a couple of weeks ago about feeling really disconcerted about lack of symptoms. Had my first appointment with Consultant yesterday (booking appointment) and I had genuinely prepared myself for her to give bad news. I wouldn't even look at the ultrasound monitor until she said everything looks good. So I am indeed pregnant! A few days behind what my EDD was based on my LMP, so I will only be 10 weeks on Sunday.

It was so surreal to hear the heartbeat and see the little blob! It's my first pregnancy and it hasn't been easy to even get to this point and I was thinking it might not happen for us. Seeing the joy on my partner's face was perhaps the best part as I was still basically shell shocked for the rest of the day

I still really have bizarrely few symptoms and feel very normal. I will say my skin is now rapidly going to shit with breakouts, which I luckily don't usually suffer from. And the odd day where I've insane fatigue, but then can be relatively grand for days again. I guess I should be really grateful I'm so well! Hopefully don't jinx myself now!

 

[Patsy Stone]

Found out I’m pregnant with our first last week after 2 years of trying. We had just undergone fertility testing and were waiting for the results when we found out! Even though we have been trying for so long I am still so shocked will be 6 weeks on Thursday. I feel awful that the excitement hasn’t hit me yet just the feeling of being petrified. Luckily I have not been sick but I have been feeling so nauseous and absolutely drained, it’s really toying with my emotions. Came home from work today and had a good cry to my partner We’ve not told anyone yet either. I’m not sure why I’ve wrote this I think I’m just hoping someone will tell me this is normal and that I’m not going mad

 

[nolite]

I could have written this. I’m from the TTC thread and found out last week I am expecting after over a year of trying. After finding out, and initially being overjoyed, it’s like I’ve sunk into a state of despair and doom that I cannot shake and I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. My family is thrilled, my partner is thrilled and deep down I know this is what I want but I am also conscious that my life as it was was perfect, which is all about to change, and I just have this overwhelming feeling of dread like I’ve made a huge mistake. I’m trying to give myself a break over it and realise that right now my body is being pumped with a shit tonne of hormones. The rational part of my brain knows that everything will be fine and this is what I wanted, but the moments of panic are very real and make me feel so guilty

Oh, congrats! Probably sounds very weird, but I had noticed you over on the TTC thread (fellow Irish person) recently! I had wondered if those little twinges were indeed going to lead to a BFP as hadn't seen you post more recently!!

I've been a lurker over on that thread for some months. Joining this one to my own massive surprise now and still very much feeling I'm jinxing it by doing that.

My own story, briefly. 37, been with my partner long term but for various life reasons, didn't start trying until last summer. Sort of immediately just knew there were going to be issues. Been berating myself for not trying years earlier. Got referred to the HSE Fertility Hub due to very low AMH (which I absolutely sprialled over), my age. Got my appointment, which was all of five minutes and the doctor basically just read out the forms we had filled out back to us. My partner's sperm count and motility were both great, morphology only 2%, but she just told him to take Proceive (and from Googling, I believe morphology is the least concerning of the sperm factors). We were told we'd be straight to ICSI but I needed to drop weight (which I knew was the criteria in advance but most frustrating and discriminatory I feel). Had already started that process but very slow progress. So I was dispatched with a business card with a phone number and told to ring that when I'd hit the weight goal and would be booked in for a scan to start the process. Found it really odd that no scan was done in the initial appointment to check for any anatomical issues.

That was mid February. Went off and started to be more aggressive with my diet and exercise (yet have still only dropped about 11/12 pounds). Now seem to have fallen pregnant naturally in my March cycle. I noticed a weird cramping (implantation?) pain which I had never experienced before one evening and checking the dates I was thinking "it couldn't be happening, could it?!". Did my usual pregnancy test on the day my period was due and my partner actually came into the loo (we were running late for something) and looked at it before me and told me there was definitely a faint cross! I actually thought he was winding me up as I had sort of just resigned myself to not ever seeing one. I do think I may have been ovulating earlier than my apps were telling me/not ovulating regularly. Clinic didn't seem interested in looking into any of that before referring me straight for IVF, interestingly.

Anyway, had a bit of fatigue and some aches, sore boobs for a few days after the positive test (at 4 weeks 2 days). But since about week 5, I literally have zero symptoms and it is really causing me so much anxiety. I am 7 weeks 4 days today and I do not feel remotely any different to my usual self. I've been trying to reassure myself that this can be totally normal, but I just can't help thinking that it's all too good to be true and it must be a MMC. Have my first scan at 10 weeks with Consultant.

Woops, apologies for the thesis!

 

[Crypticqueenie]

Awake in hospital in the middle of the night and need somewhere to talk! Came to my 36 week appointment just wanting to know baby's growth was ok and to start talking about midwife led pool births as my pregnancy was so complication free. Then got BP readings of up to 177/110 (was fine two days before) so sent to triage where it's slowly looking like I have signs of preeclampsia.
Labetalol has brought my BP down and me and baby are both still doing fine and while nobody has really spoken to me about it yet, it's dawning on me that baby will be induced at 37 weeks if not before.
I really didn't want unnecessary induction but this feels like a scenario where it would be needed. Crazy how fast everything can change but feeling grateful that my appointment happened to be today!

 

[fastandthecurious]

Thank you everyone for the really kind words. I’m also sorry if I’m upsetting any expectant mums. I’m so devastated and feel so alone so this forum gives me some comfort. It’s never an easy thing to go through but I think it’s so difficult on your first. After my D&C in December the doctor kept telling me next time you will be lucky but I feel like the most unluckiest person in the world. I’ll bounce back and get strong again but I’m just mourning the loss of my special little baby that never made it here

 

[Spencerskates]

I know this baby is our last and all through my pregnancy I was really worried that I’d never feel at peace with that and I’d always have that yearning for more.

he’s here, he’s perfect, but I’m absolutely done!

my section this time was much harder and while I wouldn’t quite say I’ve got trauma from it, it was extremely scary, and because I’ve had two sections in less than two years my recovery has been harder too.

 

[ahtisyourself]

I just reply oh really? I thought I could just pop it in a drawer and take it back out when it’s 18.

 

[Shinythings]

Thanks everyone. Sadly anyway I think I have experienced another miscarriage

I'm so sorry. But please do trust it's nothing that you did and the alcohol would just have been a coincidence.

 

[Hinchhater1442]

Quietly joining after having my early scan today.. I am measuring 3 days ahead compared to dates from my last period, which makes sense as I thought I hadn’t ovulated but must have just tested too late! Still feeling so anxious/nervous but glad to have made it this far I’ll probably book another around 10 weeks tbh

 

[ahtisyourself]

I think the weirdest thing is it feels like my entire world has been turned upside down and shaken but then .... nothing has really happened. So I feel bad for not carrying on as normal and spending most of the past few days frantically Googling.

Also I feel quite unsettled because I am not jumping for joy happy. If anything I am feeling fucking terrified if not a little regretful and wanting to back out, which makes me feel even worse and like I'm defective

It doesn't help that I've had broken sleep since I found out and I've had nausea up to my ears for days and I am EXHAUSTED

I could have written this. I’m from the TTC thread and found out last week I am expecting after over a year of trying. After finding out, and initially being overjoyed, it’s like I’ve sunk into a state of despair and doom that I cannot shake and I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. My family is thrilled, my partner is thrilled and deep down I know this is what I want but I am also conscious that my life as it was was perfect, which is all about to change, and I just have this overwhelming feeling of dread like I’ve made a huge mistake. I’m trying to give myself a break over it and realise that right now my body is being pumped with a shit tonne of hormones. The rational part of my brain knows that everything will be fine and this is what I wanted, but the moments of panic are very real and make me feel so guilty

 

[fastandthecurious]

Ah thank you everyone I’m very upset about it. I’m getting married next June and would have so loved a baby before hand as I’m pushing 36. I had a miscarriage in December and just don’t seem to have any luck

 

[Shinythings]

IDK what to think of all I read here about inducing and blabla. I switched doctors because first one was telling me we would need a c-section because baby was in podalic presentation... at 18 weeks. New doctor was like "we will discuss when you are 36 weeks" and that she analyzes case by case, she supports natural delivery but is open to elective c-sections given the needs of the patient.

I'm no hippy and generally I trust medical professionals but I am very against how medicalised birth has become and how many unnecessary interventions are pushed on women through fear. Especially when the science and research even shows in the vast majority of cases, interventions either have no differences in outcomes or actually make things worse. Induction, for example, is well shown to often lead to a cascade of interventions leading to a higher C-section rate. Mum's are often made to feel like they have no choice or are guilted into it by being told things like 'your risk of stillbirth doubles' without actually giving them the figures around that which actually show the risk might double but is still absolutely tiny, for example going from 0.1 to 0.2. Plenty of research has shown if Mum and baby are fine which can be checked through regular monitoring then there is no medical need for intervention even past due dates.

I'd always encourage people to use their BRAIN to make informed decisions.

What are the Benefits of this intervention?
What are the Risks?
What are the Alternatives?
What does my Intuition say?
What happens if we do Nothing?