Pregnancy #64

[calabazarock]

I'm a bit surprised about how much bmi is brought up? I've mentioned I'm not in the uk and go to private health. I'm in the overweight category and my weight was not brought up once during the ivf process neither my pregnancy. It's tacit that's not ideal but it was no time to be on a diet.
Some years before I had some back pains issues, the doctor didn't mention losing weight until we had a diagnosis, all test were performed and more serious stuff was ruled out.

What can I expect of the 20 week scan? I'm having the one where they check blood flows, idk the name of it in english.

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

I’m really glad you spoke up. I hate how some staff speak about BMI! I had a similar experience but the opposite way I guess - a sonographer said to a trainee something along the lines of how much easier it was to scan me compared to the previous woman because I was so ‘lovely and slim’. I was literally in the depths of my eating disorder and having a scan as part of our fertility investigations so it wasn’t the compliment she thought it was!

that’s really shocking! Weirdly she said nothing to me verbally about my weight being an issue. I am probably kind of relieved about that because she had quite an abrupt manner and it would have upset me, but given that she had me move around quote a lot to try and turn the baby, jabbed me really hard in the abdomen to get the baby to turn and I could see for myself on the screen the bubba was not playing ball, it was not solely down to my BMI. I work with people who have experienced trauma and who need a psychologically informed approach and there was none of that in the appointment. It’s a miracle baby for us and we’re anxious older parents. Doesn’t mean we have some god given right to extra time to get screening or anything like that but a gentle approach, explanation of what’s happening, reassurance that sometimes the babies just aren’t up for it but that it’s not the end of the world would have gone a long way to not have me cry my way back home. Hopefully the same won’t happen to other future parents.

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

I'm a bit surprised about how much bmi is brought up? I've mentioned I'm not in the uk and go to private health. I'm in the overweight category and my weight was not brought up once during the ivf process neither my pregnancy. It's tacit that's not ideal but it was no time to be on a diet.
Some years before I had some back pains issues, the doctor didn't mention losing weight until we had a diagnosis, all test were performed and more serious stuff was ruled out.

What can I expect of the 20 week scan? I'm having the one where they check blood flows, idk the name of it in english.

We’re obsessed with it in the UK and the NHS. Being overweight is often the ‘only’ thing that can be wrong with a person. My Mum’s first cancer was missed for several years because she was deemed to be nothing more than a large smoker which was why she had high blood pressure, according to the doctors. She actually had a tumour on her kidney which was interrupting the workings of her adrenal gland, causing the high blood pressure. She had symptoms of this, too, which nobody took seriously for years.

My midwife and the student midwife had to record my height and weight and my BMI but they were very relaxed about it and said it was a flawed system. The senior midwife that spoke to me about my complaint said my BMI ‘wasn’t that bad anyway’ which is a new one on me but I’ll take it!

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

@ThisIsMyDragName YES GIRL!!!! Well done you for escalating and taking back your control. I am so delighted for you! Also as I’m in the second tri - you must be too! Glad we’re baby buddies xxx

 

[Shinythings]

In a follow up from my 12 week scan meltdown, I was so upset about how it had gone and the fact that the failure to screen had been put down solely to my BMI that I decided to talk to my midwife about it. She escalated it to a more senior midwife who called me yesterday and was really nice. It turns out I’m not the first person to raise stuff like this about this particular sonographer , someone else reported a similar experience a couple of weeks ago and they believe other women have experienced the same but haven’t wanted to speak up on a formal or informal level about it. So, because I did want to speak up on an informal level it’s going to the line manager as feedback. I don’t doubt the sonographer is good at her job, it was just her lack of communication with me and then talking really fast about the quadruple test being my only option that left me really upset. I had a private scan on Sunday, with an ex-NHS midwife of 40 years. I told her about my nhs scan experience and she just explained everything so well to me. Explained all the things the sonographer will have recorded about what she saw that I can’t see in badger notes. Explained that it can be super hard to do the screening because the babies don’t behave as they’re expected to. Mine is a proper mover and groover (I have no idea if that’s normal or not because I’ve never seen a live scan and assumed babies just floated about sedately till I saw mine wriggling around!) and loves being faceplanted, loves hugging the back of my uterus and also loves lying on its side facing my spine. So, screening measurements were always going to be hard. I mentioned my bmi had been blamed and she was a bit more ‘eh, it’s not really the be all and end all’. She had me move about to scan different ways but at no point jabbed me hard in the abdomen with the scanner. Because it wasn’t a screening scan I felt like we got lots of time to watch our little JuniorDragName and I have 23 images and videos. I do understand a private scan will always have a different purpose and the nhs scan was about important medical stuff and that should take priority, but not everyone has the luxury of affording extra scans whenever they feel like them, and all it would have taken was the nhs sonographer taking a bit more time to talk things through so the parents can enjoy the view whilst the sonographer does what they need to.

NIPT screening bloods tomorrow, we’ve decided to find out the biological sex of the baby as well. I know it’s dumb but my mind is blown that that is even possible.

So glad you have had your concerns validated. Your private scan is how my NHS ones have been. They've been so good and pointed out cool bits you could see and if I wanted to look at something they held it there so I could properly enjoy it. Like you, mine was very uncooperative and everything they tried to look at, it wouldn't let them but they were so patient.

The ONLY thing I was disappointed with was the pictures they chose to print out as there were so much better ones. But when I went back to the hospital and mentioned this, the sonographer went onto my file and emailed me the ones I wanted because they keep them all. Not sure if they're meant to do that but I thought that was great.

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

@ThisIsMyDragName YES GIRL!!!! Well done you for escalating and taking back your control. I am so delighted for you! Also as I’m in the second tri - you must be too! Glad we’re baby buddies xxx

Thanks lovely! Yes I got dated a week earlier than my last period had me at so I am 12w6d now! My preggo symptoms are becoming a bit more manageable except for the insomnia. But I didn’t need extra naps this weekend and managed to carry out actual tasks so that was a huge, huge improvement. Have felt a bit crappy today but feel like things are getting easier!

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

So glad you have had your concerns validated. Your private scan is how my NHS ones have been. They've been so good and pointed out cool bits you could see and if I wanted to look at something they held it there so I could properly enjoy it. Like you, mine was very uncooperative and everything they tried to look at, it wouldn't let them but they were so patient.

The ONLY thing I was disappointed with was the pictures they chose to print out as there were so much better ones. But when I went back to the hospital and mentioned this, the sonographer went onto my file and emailed me the ones I wanted because they keep them all. Not sure if they're meant to do that but I thought that was great.

My print out was so sad I had to put it in a drawer because every time I looked at it I would just cry, which is clearly just my wild hormones. Not only was it the fuzziest thing you’ve ever seen, but the printer was a bit dodgy so there is a white line down the side of it. My private scan images are not super duper clear but so much clearer so now I just feel a bit more ok about everything. My 11 week scan pictures (when I went too early based on my dates) were clearer but I had no right to a copy which is fair enough. My local health board’s policy is one photo for each major scan only, no buying extras. Fair enough I suppose, you can’t please everyone!

 

[HankMcPrank]

I’m over the moon, had a scan today and everything looking all good.
did the deed 19th February, I am 5 weeks 5 days pregnant today which is all adding up.
Just massive relief as I have PCOS. Went for a scan last week and there was nothing there, so time has really helped.
Sorry, just thought I’d share as I’m so excited I could burst xx

 

[opintionatedperson]

I’m over the moon, had a scan today and everything looking all good.
did the deed 19th February, I am 5 weeks 5 days pregnant today which is all adding up.
Just massive relief as I have PCOS. Went for a scan last week and there was nothing there, so time has really helped.
Sorry, just thought I’d share as I’m so excited I could burst xx

Congratulations it's great seeing the scans change during the pregnancy, there will be a nice difference the next time in a short few weeks.. I'm a week behind you , had the GP appointment today myself

 

[Keera]

I’m over the moon, had a scan today and everything looking all good.
did the deed 19th February, I am 5 weeks 5 days pregnant today which is all adding up.
Just massive relief as I have PCOS. Went for a scan last week and there was nothing there, so time has really helped.
Sorry, just thought I’d share as I’m so excited I could burst xx

I’ve been waiting for your update since the other thread!!!!!! (Sorry if that’s weird ) so pleased for you! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

 

[Shinythings]

I'd love a little live feed to my womb. The kid is currently doing what can only be described as a YMCA/Macarena mash up in there. I'm wondering to myself, what is it actually doing? Is it just flailing around for no reason? Does it know what it's doing?

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

I'd love a little live feed to my womb. The kid is currently doing what can only be described as a YMCA/Macarena mash up in there. I'm wondering to myself, what is it actually doing? Is it just flailing around for no reason? Does it know what it's doing?

Love the idea that the bubbas are all having a rave up mine is too small to be felt yet but based on how it behaves during a scan I suspect I will feel like a washing machine in no time

 

[Vmanxx]

I forgot about my kids parents nights tonight…I think I can probably get away with blaming baby brain

 

[HankMcPrank]

I’ve been waiting for your update since the other thread!!!!!! (Sorry if that’s weird ) so pleased for you! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

awww thank you! Another scan tomorrow xx

 

[HankMcPrank]

Congratulations it's great seeing the scans change during the pregnancy, there will be a nice difference the next time in a short few weeks.. I'm a week behind you , had the GP appointment today myself

Thank you, another scan tomorrow so may see some difference within 3 days xx

 

[jay121]

Hi everyone I hope you don’t mind me joining! I am 5 weeks today with my second, I had my eldest 8 years ago so it all feels brand new again! Hope you’re all keeping well, I’ve enjoyed lurking on these threads over the last few days and thought why not say hello x

 

[HankMcPrank]

Hi everyone I hope you don’t mind me joining! I am 5 weeks today with my second, I had my eldest 8 years ago so it all feels brand new again! Hope you’re all keeping well, I’ve enjoyed lurking on these threads over the last few days and thought why not say hello x

Hi! My boys will have a 15 year and 10 year old gap. My daughter 13 x

 

[HankMcPrank]

Scan at EPU this morning. My baby measuring spot on as per last dates 6 weeks 1 day; saw the heartbeat and I cried. This is what we have been waiting for, for so long. 🩷

 

[Lorny]

Hi I’m jumping in here. I’m currently 8wks 1day and my anxiety is through the roof. I went for a reassurance scan on Monday which measured me at 7wks 4 days, saw heartbeat etc so was absolutely over the moon. I’m struggling so much with panicking about eating the wrong thing, I’m googling everything and obsessing it’s such a lonely feeling because hardly anyone knows just now so I don’t have my friends who have had kids in the last few years to speak to as I’m scared to tell people in case I have to tell them something bad has happened. Was even wary to join on here but I just need to vent. I had a MC in 2023 and have just been unable to enjoy any of this first trimester.

 

[opintionatedperson]

I'm quite fournate I don't get sick at first trimester but I do get turned off food and have no appetite. The constant reminders from my husband isn't helping