Pregnancy #59

[raspberryjuice]

Silly question incoming but, I’m having a c section Monday should I be worried? I’m just an anxious person as is

Don’t be worried!

Spoiler: Planned section story

I had a planned section just over 2 weeks ago and it was so relaxed. They’re very different to an emergency one. I got to the hospital at 7am, had my obs done and a listen in to baby, was given a gown to change in to and then just relaxed. The midwife who was looking after us for the morning came to introduce herself, then the anaesthetist came and went through the consent form again and explained step by step what would happen. By this point I was feeling quite sick because I had HG and hadn’t been able to eat so the anaesthetist did my cannula and gave me meds before we got to theatre. Before I knew it it was time to go down. The midwife looking after us walked us down to theatre, introduced us to everyone in the room (there’s a lot of people which can be a bit overwhelming but they all have a role and they’ll all introduce themselves and explain what they’re doing). The worst part of it all for me was the second anaesthetist trying to position the needle for my spinal block - that was the only painful part of it for me and I think that’s because I’ve broken my coccyx before so my lower back is always very tender anyway. They do numb it once they’ve located the position for your spinal. Once the spinal block is in everything moves really quickly. The drapes go up and the midwife will insert your catheter and the anaesthetist will stay by your head and talk you through everything they’re doing. Someone will check your spinal has worked by running ice from your toes to your boobs and it’s so weird, the only part of it I could feel was a dribble of cold water down my neck as the ice melted. Once they’ve confirmed you’re numb it’s literally only about 5-10 minutes until your baby is born! You can feel a bit of tugging/pressure but absolutely no pain. The anaesthetist will keep checking you’re ok - mine was an angel. I felt horrendously sick once baby was out but she held a sick bowl by my head and pumped me full of antisickness meds until the feeling went and kept talking to me the whole time. By this point you’ll be watching your OH and your beautiful new baby and won’t even notice that they’re stitching you up and cleaning you off. It took about 40 mins after baby was out to get me stitched up etc but you don’t even notice the time. Then your OH and baby will be taken to recovery while they finish sorting you out and move you to a different bed and then you’ll join them. If they offer you the diclofenac suppository then take it - it lasts about 18 hours and is brilliant pain relief. Don’t be afraid to ask for morphine when your feeling starts to come back. Mine started coming back after 2 hours and was completely back after 4 hours but I had to stay in bed for 12 hours. After the 12 hours they’ll remove your catheter, get you up for a little walk and the midwife or midwife support assistant will help you get pyjamas and your pad on etc as obviously you can’t bend. Keep asking for morphine if you’re in pain and ask for some to take home - not all trusts let you but if you don’t ask you don’t get. Day 2 and 3 were the worst pain wise for me but I found if I kept moving the pain would ease. Since then it’s not been bad at all and im pretty much back to normal now 16 days on. And take some laxatives once you’re able to move otherwise the first poo is the worst part of the whole thing

Good luck and hope everything goes smoothly for you on Monday!

 

[Miguel2021]

Don’t be worried! ,

Good luck and hope everything goes smoothly for you on Monday!

You are an angel you’ve really put my mind at ease thank you so much and congratulations to you

 

[Elle Woods]

I’m so unsure if I’m feeling something or not keeps happening on my left side x

My midwife said to me that if it’s a feeling you’ve not experienced before then chances are it’s baby. For me it was also like tiny bubbles (sometimes I thought I needed a fart) then as they got stronger it was like a fish hitting against the side of a goldfish bowl x
---
those of you having / had planned sections, at what stage did you start discussing with your midwife/ agree a date? There’s always been a risk of me going into pre term labour but there’s now talk of not letting me past 37 weeks at all. So far I’ve wanted/hoped to be able to have a natural labour but I’m also petrified of an induction thanks to so many people feeling the need to tell me their horror stories

 

[Tazzie]

Awww thank you everyone for your lovely messages, making me emotional again I’m normally quite strong about it all but with all these hormones I’m just a mess lately! Feel sorry for my poor boyfriend, he never knows what mood I’m gonna be in

I know how you feel in some way, my dad is still with us but has dementia and it makes me sad that he never got to know

My midwife said to me that if it’s a feeling you’ve not experienced before then chances are it’s baby. For me it was also like tiny bubbles (sometimes I thought I needed a fart) then as they got stronger it was like a fish hitting against the side of a goldfish bowl x
---
those of you having / had planned sections, at what stage did you start discussing with your midwife/ agree a date? There’s always been a risk of me going into pre term labour but there’s now talk of not letting me past 37 weeks at all. So far I’ve wanted/hoped to be able to have a natural labour but I’m also petrified of an induction thanks to so many people feeling the need to tell me their horror stories

My consultant mentioned it at 12 weeks so I have always planned a c section. We confirmed the date at 24 weeks and it is planned for 38 plus 4. The midwives were not involved in the discussion but I am in Ireland so it might be a little different elsewhere. I am reassured that if I do go in to labour early I need to get to hospital ASAP and they will still do a section. Hope you are doing ok x

 

[odetotheseaweed]

I think it varies by trust but my second was a planned c section, I had a consultant appointment after my 20 week scan and they booked it in then for 38+1. But that was 7 years ago. My friend has some complications currently and still doesn’t have a date at 33 weeks (same trust) so I think it depends on the circumstances (I had no complications, was low risk etc)

 

[George01]

I've known I was having a section since my booking appt I got my initial date at 27 weeks but it got changed last week. Apparently in my trust though if your pregnancy is not high risk you don't get your date til the week before! My anxiety could NOT deal with that

 

[raspberryjuice]

I had my first consultant appt about a section at around 28 weeks, another 4 weeks later where I got a date but then they changed the date later on to bring it forward. Other than the original referral my midwife had no involvement in csection plans

 

[panini]

My midwife said to me that if it’s a feeling you’ve not experienced before then chances are it’s baby. For me it was also like tiny bubbles (sometimes I thought I needed a fart) then as they got stronger it was like a fish hitting against the side of a goldfish bowl x
---
those of you having / had planned sections, at what stage did you start discussing with your midwife/ agree a date? There’s always been a risk of me going into pre term labour but there’s now talk of not letting me past 37 weeks at all. So far I’ve wanted/hoped to be able to have a natural labour but I’m also petrified of an induction thanks to so many people feeling the need to tell me their horror stories

My consultant booked me in for mine during my 31 week clinic appointment.

 

[George01]

Reading all these comments it's actually mad how different all the trusts work! Even something which seems as standard as booking c-sections is so different for everyone!

 

[raspberryjuice]

Reading all these comments it's actually mad how different all the trusts work! Even something which seems as standard as booking c-sections is so different for everyone!

Even in the same trust there’s never consistency my friend is a few weeks behind me and has to have a csection because she’s got vasa praevia, which they usually like to get baby out a little earlier as it’s so serious and can be quite complicated surgery and she has no idea when they’re going to do it and she’s due in 4 weeks

 

[ellieb123_xo]

Anyone else have absolutely no appetite? Not nauseous, just not hungry. Have to force myself to eat something.

 

[Jasminexx02]

Does anybody else get ocular migraines? I’ve had them for years now and just getting one but wondering how you know when it’s just a migraine compared to when it could be a warning sign of preeclampsia

 

[Brewtime87]

Right I'm here for a little bit of a feeling sorry for myself moment, sorry in advance
Ever since we found out I'm pregnant my partner hasn't really made any attempts at physical touch/intimacy with me. I thought the first few months maybe he was afraid to disturb baby or risk the pregnancy since it took us so long (and many many tears!) to get here. But I'm now about to turn 24 weeks and still nothing. It's not just sex, it's pretty much most physical stuff. He still kisses me every day, still cuddles and spoons but he hasn't even touched my bare body and feels like he doesn't even want to particularly make an effort to look at it. I stood there naked earlier and shook my bum to get his attention, he looked up and smiled then instantly turned back to his phone.
Being honest we have never been an overly sexual couple, but to have nothing at all this far into the pregnancy is starting to worry me and make me feel undesirable. Sorry I know this all seems very petty but I just don't know if this is more common with men in pregnancy than I might realise? I know I need to talk to him but I think we're both a little awkward at having those types of chats and I don't want things to then only happen because I said something.

 

[Jasminexx02]

Right I'm here for a little bit of a feeling sorry for myself moment, sorry in advance
Ever since we found out I'm pregnant my partner hasn't really made any attempts at physical touch/intimacy with me. I thought the first few months maybe he was afraid to disturb baby or risk the pregnancy since it took us so long (and many many tears!) to get here. But I'm now about to turn 24 weeks and still nothing. It's not just sex, it's pretty much most physical stuff. He still kisses me every day, still cuddles and spoons but he hasn't even touched my bare body and feels like he doesn't even want to particularly make an effort to look at it. I stood there naked earlier and shook my bum to get his attention, he looked up and smiled then instantly turned back to his phone.
Being honest we have never been an overly sexual couple, but to have nothing at all this far into the pregnancy is starting to worry me and make me feel undesirable. Sorry I know this all seems very petty but I just don't know if this is more common with men in pregnancy than I might realise? I know I need to talk to him but I think we're both a little awkward at having those types of chats and I don't want things to then only happen because I said something.

I think men can be quite clueless, do you think that he potentially doesn’t realise that you’d be more comfortable with intimacy now that you’re further along and so he doesn’t want to initiate anything just in case it isn’t what you want? I’d definitely have a chat with him and explain how you feel, although I understand what you mean about how you don’t then want things to change solely because you’ve said something and not because he actually wants to, but maybe he just needs that push to know it’s something you want too x

 

[Laughalong]

I feel the opposite, my boyfriend still wants it and I just don’t. He’s given up trying now out of respect / not wanting to be a pest and it does make me feel a bit guilty. I’ve dealt with re-occurring thrush which takes it off the table a lot as I’m either dealing with the symptoms so obviously don’t want to, or taking the treatment which leaves me unavailable for a week. But even then, in the moments I am sorted - I just have no desire. I feel ever so slightly bad because we’ve only been together a year and a half and I’ve been pregnant for a good chunk of that. I do mentally try to psych myself up to do it, but I just don’t want to? He’s very understanding though I’ve just literally lost my sex drive

 

[Jasminexx02]

I feel the opposite, my boyfriend still wants it and I just don’t. He’s given up trying now out of respect / not wanting to be a pest and it does make me feel a bit guilty. I’ve dealt with re-occurring thrush which takes it off the table a lot as I’m either dealing with the symptoms so obviously don’t want to, or taking the treatment which leaves me unavailable for a week. But even then, in the moments I am sorted - I just have no desire. I feel ever so slightly bad because we’ve only been together a year and a half and I’ve been pregnant for a good chunk of that. I do mentally try to psych myself up to do it, but I just don’t want to? He’s very understanding though I’ve just literally lost my sex drive

I’m the same. Definitely don’t feel guilty about it, you’re pregnant and you feeling comfortable is the top priority. You’re not gonna be pregnant forever and it’s good that he’s understanding about it but don’t let yourself feel bad about it! X

 

[Brewtime87]

See to be honest I don't particularly want it either, but I want to feel wanted and I worry why my partner isn't even trying or seeming to want it. We've been together 6 and a half years I guess I'm just really worried that the sexual spark has gone and won't come back.

 

[George01]

See to be honest I don't particularly want it either, but I want to feel wanted and I worry why my partner isn't even trying or seeming to want it. We've been together 6 and a half years I guess I'm just really worried that the sexual spark has gone and won't come back.

I know what you mean, I think as much as those convos can be awkward though you have to have them with your partner. I remember after I had my first I was crying thinking my partner didn't like me anymore cos he never initiated anything it was always me, once I was brave enough to say something it turns out I'd made a passing comment that stuck with him and made HIM feel the same way.
It's so hard to have those convos tho, like me and ny partner generally speaking are pretty open and honest about everything but it feels lile a vulnerable topic for both people especially in cases like mine where we both felt the same but didn't know how to say it to eachother.
Not gonna lie it didn't magically fix anything and suddenly we were back to being like we were pre baby but it deffo helped and we did get there! And this pregnancy has been completely different to the first so it's defo a convo that's stuck with us both

 

[Greencatfysh]

I know what you mean, I think as much as those convos can be awkward though you have to have them with your partner. I remember after I had my first I was crying thinking my partner didn't like me anymore cos he never initiated anything it was always me, once I was brave enough to say something it turns out I'd made a passing comment that stuck with him and made HIM feel the same way.
It's so hard to have those convos tho, like me and ny partner generally speaking are pretty open and honest about everything but it feels lile a vulnerable topic for both people especially in cases like mine where we both felt the same but didn't know how to say it to eachother.
Not gonna lie it didn't magically fix anything and suddenly we were back to being like we were pre baby but it deffo helped and we did get there! And this pregnancy has been completely different to the first so it's defo a convo that's stuck with us both

Totally agree to try and talk about it. It’s hard and awkward but 9 times out of 10 you’ll find it something random that you hadn’t considered and your partner can help you understand and comfort you.

 

[Brewtime87]

Thank you ladies. You're the best