Pregnancy #47

[sazzles88]

In terms of letting people know when your in labour, with my first, he came along quickly we literally didn't get a chance to tell family! We just called them from the hospital after when everything calmed down probably easier in a way as noone was asking what was going on and it was the first time i could use my phone. As someone said before if you let them know, just tell them not to contact you as you will let them know anything when you can.

I dont know about anyone else but I didn't have an opportunity to look or check my phone until after I had given birth and had been stitched up!

 

[MidnightAura]

I’m due to get an early scan tomorrow because of spotting. Whilst it’s still spotting I also did have a little bit of clotting when I wiped. I’m so scared.

 

[Nosysamsie]

She sounds so stressful to deal with, why is she so childish and rude?! I get that she might feel jealous that you're staying with your family and she's probably worried she'll be pushed out, but why would she ensure a lack of closeness by being a witch about it?! Can you ask your partner to set boundaries for the visit when she comes (e.g. have clear times set in advance) to try to reduce the stress? Also if she continues being difficult perhaps your partner could have a word with her and let her know that her nasty attitude won't be tolerated and if she can't be nice she won't be welcome? Some people seem to think they can do as they please because they're family so they're entitled to visits etc regardless - I'm more of a fan of actions have consequences!

I'm feeling extra fierce about MIL stuff at the moment because mine has started acting up, so sorry if I sound like a harsh witch I normally get on really well with my in laws, but she's been putting a lot of pressure on us recently and been really judgemental, and has genuinely been the biggest stressor during this pregnancy! I expected my mum to be overbearing and my MIL to be calm and helpful, but it's been the total opposite! We've realised now that we're going to have to put firm boundaries in place once I'm in labour/once he's born because neither of us want the added stress of his mum's negativity and judgement at an already chaotic, emotional time. It's sad having to think like this when family should be supportive and helpful!

I was the same. Expected my mum to be overbearing and my MIL to be really laid back and I've had the opposite. It's been an eye opener and it's really put a strain on my relationship with my MIL and FIL which has always been quite good.

I agree with what your saying. Setting time limits on visiting, we have even discussed us travelling to them so we leave when we are ready.
And discuss things like "if baby is crying give them back" or "don't kiss my baby when they're so vulnerable" or "don't visit if you're unwell". It seems like they should be things that are common sense but it seems that common sense does not prevail when it comes to a newborn and pregnancy.

 

[sazzles88]

I had spotting with this current pregnancy from basically 9dpo for the first few weeks on and off. I had an early scan through the nhs as I had a previous ectopic and then we paid for scans at 9 weeks and 11 weeks as I was do anxious and they really helped but it is pricey!

In my experience after having a couple of early miscarriages that bleeding on its own is not much of a concern it more if its paired with cramps.

 

[MidnightAura]

I had spotting with this current pregnancy from basically 9dpo for the first few weeks on and off. I had an early scan through the nhs as I had a previous ectopic and then we paid for scans at 9 weeks and 11 weeks as I was do anxious and they really helped but it is pricey!

In my experience after having a couple of early miscarriages that bleeding on its own is not much of a concern it more if its paired with cramps.

Thank you. Yeah I don’t have any cramps. Just the spotting and a wee bit of clot which has stopped. Praying for tomorrow.

 

[TheSilverFox]

I’m due to get an early scan tomorrow because of spotting. Whilst it’s still spotting I also did have a little bit of clotting when I wiped. I’m so scared.

Good luck for tomorrow xx

Spoiler: miscarriage chat

I've had a few miscarriages and some of those started with bleeding (but also a drop in pregnancy symptoms and more noticeable cramps etc), although for the two mmcs I had there was no bleeding whatsoever and one of those I felt horrendously sick still. The worst bleeding I had in early pregnancy was at 7.5 weeks (from a subchorionic hematoma it turned out) and it was filling pads, clots, the lot and she's now running us ragged at home! It's so hard to tell and horrible that early pregnancy symptoms can be things like, cramp, spotting etc. Hopefully the scan is reassuring - in my experience spotting has been more or less okay unless it starts to get heavier and be accompanied by pain. Good luck xxx

 

[anything at all]

On the letting people know when you go into labour: I was pretty set on not letting anyone know anything at all until hours after baby was born, I told my mum that a couple of weeks before baby was here and she said nooo you have to let us know when you’re on your way to hospital.

My waters broke at 36+5 but I wasn’t really in labour so we did end up both letting our mums know that I was admitted and would be induced but not to message me at all and if they needed anything to message hubby only. Both respected that and actually barely messaged my hubby at all.

I guess it depends on what your family/friends are like and what you’re okay with? I just knew I wouldn’t want anyone messaging me with tons of questions asking whats going on, is baby here yet etc

When we told hubby’s dad a few hours after baby was here he took to Facebook to let everyone know - before either me or hubby had posted anything

 

[Pontiac_Bandit]

I was the same. Expected my mum to be overbearing and my MIL to be really laid back and I've had the opposite. It's been an eye opener and it's really put a strain on my relationship with my MIL and FIL which has always been quite good.

I agree with what your saying. Setting time limits on visiting, we have even discussed us travelling to them so we leave when we are ready.
And discuss things like "if baby is crying give them back" or "don't kiss my baby when they're so vulnerable" or "don't visit if you're unwell". It seems like they should be things that are common sense but it seems that common sense does not prevail when it comes to a newborn and pregnancy.

It's so weird isn't it, although on the plus side it's made me and my parents closer because I've been so grateful for their loveliness! Common sense definitely doesn't seem to be a thing, so it's always best to be really explicit about rules and boundaries. My parents have said they won't offer advice because so much has changed in 35 years and they've been doing some research on the NHS website for what the current guidelines are, which is really sweet - whereas my MIL thinks nothing has changed and is really suspicious/judgemental when we say certain things are allowed/not allowed nowadays so clearly getting her to behave appropriately/safely is going to be a battle the only negativity I've experienced this whole pregnancy has been from her, so I guess I should be grateful that I haven't had to put up with this tit from multiple people!

 

[Tifastrife]

Is anyone else not very close to their in laws? I get so anxious at the thought of them visiting after birth, would be a few days later, I only agreed as my OH wants them to see him before the rest of my extended family who I’m very close to.
They’re not nasty people but have done & said questionable things in the past to my OH and I’m not very ‘forgive & forget’ when it comes to grown adults behaviour and morals.
Not sure if it’s just the protective side of me coming out now with only a few weeks to go

She tried to guilt trip us at Christmas explaining it “wasn’t fair” that we’re living with my parents (different city to them)- we’re living here because they offered so we could buy a house this year instead of next/2yrs time.
She said she hopes baby comes early so my parents aren’t in the country when he’s born.
Never bothers to message my OH or check up & see how we’re all doing whereas my partners sister in law has been checking in the whole time.
Her pregnancy was “much worse” than mine, which is weird because she hasn’t been carrying my child so how would she know?
My parents will “interfere” according to her. I know they won’t because we clarified that before moving in.
My parents have gone above & beyond for us during this pregnancy and I find her attitude horrible towards them and they haven’t even met yet.

Sorry this has turned into a MIL rant, but I think it’s 10000% heightened by being pregnant and wanting to protect my baby from her as I didn’t really care before.

Mine is my own mother. I know the term is overused these days but she is a genuine narcissist and she’s been so ott about my entire pregnancy. We aren’t close, but she seems to think she’s going to be round him all
The time. I have a bet going with my sister that her response when I contact her to tell her baby has arrived will be “why didn’t you tell me you were in labour” and cry.

 

[LilyRose1234]

Reading some of these posts, I find it so sad that there are actual adults out there who have such little respect for boundaries that you have to hide when you’re in labour and keep it a secret because they won’t just respect your boundaries and behave like decent humans.

 

[Nosysamsie]

Reading some of these posts, I find it so sad that there are actual adults out there who have such little respect for boundaries that you have to hide when you’re in labour and keep it a secret because they won’t just respect your boundaries and behave like decent humans.

Whats makes it scarier in my eyes is that these people have had children and have been in our position and still continue to disrespect boundaries.

 

[Pontiac_Bandit]

Whats makes it scarier in my eyes is that these people have had children and have been in our position and still continue to disrespect boundaries.

Exactly! I can only assume that they were similarly pressured/belittled when they had their babies and have either forgotten how awful it felt, or normalised it as 'something that families that care should do' without considering how it makes us feel. I don't know if others are in a similar position but my in laws are retired but are very active for their age and don't have much to fill their time, and my MIL is prone to obsessing about things because she has so little else going on in her life, so I think we've become their latest 'project' and something for them to focus their energy on. And because they have too much time on their hands they forget what it's like to work full time, and how tiring it is to be pregnant, and they seem to have forgotten that I also struggle with energy because of my MS, so they're frustrated that we're not getting everything done immediately and that things still aren't finished yet.

I'm sad so many of us are going through the same, but glad we've got a supportive space to rant about it!

 

[WotsitG1]

How many times am I gonna pack and unpack and repack my hospital bag!!!!

 

[LilyRose1234]

How many times am I gonna pack and unpack and repack my hospital bag!!!!

At least 56. And 55 of those are to check you didn’t forget to put something back in the last time you unpacked it

 

[Bobbleowl90]

Re labour, my family are abroad so my husband text the family WhatsApp at the time when I had my first just to keep them updated. Other than that, we don’t have anybody else to tell! My dad will know as I’m relying on him for my lift to hospital again and we don’t have contact with OH family.

I had my diabetes test yesterday and she said if I had it then I’d have a phone call today. Not heard anything so that’s a positive!

 

[hahaha62]

Hi guys.. sorry brain dump in coming..
I’m 23 weeks today and this is my first pregnancy. I have been told that I have an anterior placenta. My only concern is that I am still not feeling any movements. I saw my midwife a fortnight ago and we have had multiple scans over the last couple of weeks and all looked well (The scans weren’t for any bad reasons they were just offered to us to do with our location). But the lack of feeling any movements is beginning to worry me a wee bit. Does anyone have any advice? I have an appointment to see my midwife on Monday so do I just hang on and speak to her about it then or is it worth phoning?

I don’t feel anything has changed or feels difference between since my scan last Wednesday. I'm just probably overthinking but also it’s beginning to bother me!

I’ve mentioned my worries to my husband, my mum and a couple of friends. All have just said not to worry which never in the history of the world made anyone feel better

 

[anything at all]

Hi guys.. sorry brain dump in coming..
I’m 23 weeks today and this is my first pregnancy. I have been told that I have an anterior placenta. My only concern is that I am still not feeling any movements. I saw my midwife a fortnight ago and we have had multiple scans over the last couple of weeks and all looked well (The scans weren’t for any bad reasons they were just offered to us to do with our location). But the lack of feeling any movements is beginning to worry me a wee bit. Does anyone have any advice? I have an appointment to see my midwife on Monday so do I just hang on and speak to her about it then or is it worth phoning?

I don’t feel anything has changed or feels difference between since my scan last Wednesday. I'm just probably overthinking but also it’s beginning to bother me!

I’ve mentioned my worries to my husband, my mum and a couple of friends. All have just said not to worry which never in the history of the world made anyone feel better

I think I wrote pretty much the same thing when I was around where you are, think I also called triage sometime just before 24 weeks at concerns of not having felt movements still, who told me baby is still very tiny at that stage and not to worry. I know it’s very hard not to. I think it was also around or just before 24 weeks that I called up and they said I could come up for them to find babies heartbeat.

I’m not sure of any advice to give, not being able to feel much because of anterior placenta sucked the joy out of most of my pregnancy because all I did was worry but when I could start to feel baby it was the best thing

If you are concerned you could call up and see what they say? Hang in there and hopefully you’ll feel movements soon

 

[themuffinwoman]

Due date and sweep is Friday, concerned I won’t know if I’m in labour tmi but the last day my stomach has not liked any food I’ve been eating, even something as plain as an omelette, nope! Which I think is a sign of labour? Also, and I don’t know if this is a sign or what, but I’ve had mild cramps on on side. I had them last night in and off for half an hour and got them again. Hard to explain but it’s a bit of a throbbing but just on my right?

 

[WhatABore]

Hi guys.. sorry brain dump in coming..
I’m 23 weeks today and this is my first pregnancy. I have been told that I have an anterior placenta. My only concern is that I am still not feeling any movements. I saw my midwife a fortnight ago and we have had multiple scans over the last couple of weeks and all looked well (The scans weren’t for any bad reasons they were just offered to us to do with our location). But the lack of feeling any movements is beginning to worry me a wee bit. Does anyone have any advice? I have an appointment to see my midwife on Monday so do I just hang on and speak to her about it then or is it worth phoning?

I don’t feel anything has changed or feels difference between since my scan last Wednesday. I'm just probably overthinking but also it’s beginning to bother me!

I’ve mentioned my worries to my husband, my mum and a couple of friends. All have just said not to worry which never in the history of the world made anyone feel better

Anywhere from 16-24 weeks is average to feel first kicks. Even with a posterior placenta.
Some feel it earlier, some later
A lot of the time too, especially a first time mum, you don't recognise the early movements. To me, they felt very similar to gas and even after I'd felt them, I was often questioning if that was them moving or normal bodily functions

 

[Tifastrife]

How many times am I gonna pack and unpack and repack my hospital bag!!!!

Just came on to tattle after once again repacking my hospital bag and saw your post relatable.