Pregnancy #45

[Tifastrife]

Have any first time Mum’s (past or present) felt really really terrified towards late pregnancy? I’m in my third trimester now and I’m so petrified. Scared of birth, scared of having a little human to take care of! I don’t have any immediate friends or family with babies either so I just have absolutely no clue what I’m doing or how I’m going to cope.

Yess I cried myself to sleep the other night but more about the actual physical act of birth/epidurals freak me out/the thought of being in hospital for days if I have a section. I’m sure it’s normal, you’re not alone .

 

[WeepingCassandra]

Had the worst back pain last night - but only in my lower right side. Slightly radiating round to my right front but not moving at all. That was fun 🫠

 

[imtakingabath]

My partner is convinced he can feel something from the outside, but surely if he’s feeling it from the outside, I should be able to feel it inside?

Can you put your hand where he’s putting his hand? I’d be very surprised if he could feel something externally that you couldn’t feel internally to be honest!

 

[WeepingCassandra]

Now I actually have to name a child I haven’t seen a single name I like even names I always liked before I’ve gone off! Anyone else felt like this?

There’s seriously about 45 girls names we love and 1 boy name we find somewhat acceptable. It’s really annoying! I wanted a girl anyway but if we get a boy it may end up just being registered as “baby [surname]” because it’s too much hassle

 

[TheSilverFox]

can anyone confirm that if you’re too unwell to work they can only ask for evidence if you’ve had 2/3+ days off in a row? I had a uti that wasn’t treated in time and spread to my kidneys, I fainted at the weekend and my partner being scared took me to the epu. They monitored me for a few hours and sent me home with antibiotics. I wasn’t feeling well enough for work yesterday so I stayed in bed. I returned today because I don’t get sick pay. My boss who is desperate to bully me out of my job made me fill out a form which essentially said I need to prove it or ill have a disciplinary. I don’t have any proof and because it was the weekend I don’t think it’s even relevant to my job, just that I was unwell yesterday and couldn’t come in! I’m just worried she’ll use this as a way to push me out more. Sorry for changing the subject and adding something complicated to the thread but I’ll appreciate any help

That doesn't sound right to me - are you in the UK? You can normally self-certify for a week, then you need a doctors note to say you are not well enough to work x

 

[WhatABore]

Going to hit my due date this week and am due to have a sweep with the midwife. Haven’t had one before, has anyone else? Just wondering what to expect in terms of pain etc and whether it worked?

I am so fed up of being pregnant, it’s beginning to get me down as i just want the baby to be here and am fed up of feeling uncomfortable and huge

In my experience, I've had 9 over 3 pregnancies.
Only 1 has ever hurt. And that was because she tried to get 2 hands in
They feel different for every person, and with each different midwife that does it too.

None have ever worked for me though.

They say they only "work" if you were already going to go into labour in the next couple of days

 

[WotsitG1]

Not quite the same but in my last pregnancy I noticed a mole in my armpit changed shape and colour and so I jetted over to the doctor to get it checked out. It was all clear, and he said it is REALLY common to have skin changes during pregnancy which are nothing sinister at all. Always best t get checked and I hope yours is nothing x

Thankyou, glad yours was nothing to worry about…. Hopefully this comes back as another wild
Pregnancy symptom and I can put it behind me…

 

[themuffinwoman]

Been awake since 5 after falling asleep on the sofa at 8 my app tells me I’ve only got 67 days left till my due date which is unreal.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

I have an antenatal class for breastfeeding in a couple weeks but in the meantime was wondering what the essentials are? I’ve ordered a pump, pads and nipple cream so far.

Big packet of biscuits, bottle of water with a long straw…. I had a breastfeeding cover that I used for probably the first 4 months when out and about but cover ups are personal preference. I never leaked so I didn’t need the pads - I think what you have is fine, just see how you get on and buy as you need… although I’m serious about the biscuits and water, cluster feeding demands calories and water x

 

[calmyourritas]

Evening all! I’m days away from my due date and so fed up of how often I get false alarms! Cramps and backache every day, and they always turn out to be nothing. I’m getting so impatient now

In my experience. I was convinced I was going into labour every day from about 39 weeks. And it didn’t happen until 41+2

 

[WotsitG1]

Babies head is now apparently down and I’m
Now getting such pain around my pubic bone area/middle pelvis…. The pressure, it’s so painful to walk! Anyone else experienced this… assuming it’s babies postion causing it

 

[TheSilverFox]

I'm feeling all these comments in my soul
I've already has the guilt trip "please consider my feelings" when I said we might want some time to work out how we feel/what we're doing after baby is born.
Those who have other children - how long before you had the world on your doorstep? I can't think of anything worse than having to put on a performance with a newborn when we won't even have a clue what we're doing! Ideally would like a couple of weeks and to be honest I don't even care if it's selfish at this point!

I didn't mind some people coming round in the early days - the ones that asked first and were invited! They were all pretty chill, made their own tea, gave me space (I went upstairs to breastfeed in comfort on my bed etc because it was so sore sitting down!). It was tiring, but nice to show off the baby and have a chat. The uninvited/ones who felt that somehow it was aaaaall about them, demanding, having strops when they didn't get their own way BLEUGH. I was in hospital a week the first time around and a few family members had full on tantrums that they weren't invited to come and visit me... it wasn't like I was having a rest ffs just laid up waiting for visitors! There were reasons we both needed to stay in and I had a premature newborn to look after My husband actually shielded me from their ridiculous behaviour so I had no idea at the time! Didn't even cross my mind to invite them to the hospital, I couldn't have imagined anything worse!!

Be as selfish as you like, it's tiring bringing a new baby home and I for one felt like I'd been trampled by a herd of wild animals as well If you can cope and have stroppy family members who might kick off, you could always try to get your partner to get them round for an hour (at a time that suits you) then kick them the hell out again

 

[Tifastrife]

I think it gets triggered if you're within 4 weeks of your planned maternity leave start date, not the due date (although double check your own company's policy as it may differ from the standard advice) - but hopefully it won't be close to triggering your mat leave at this stage

it says on citizens advise website within four weeks of your due date, no mention of expected maternity leave date

 

[shhh1712]

I sat in bed crying about it, mr Waka didn’t understand how painful it was! I was having rennies for breakfast
There was no way I could give up fizzy drinks and chocolate like recommended

It’s awful isn’t it, in the night too I’ve been waking up feeling like acid is sitting in my throat

 

[Rdogk24]

Can you say "that's really kind of you, thank you for the offer but we've already been given [item] by someone else"? We've genuinely been offered some duplicates of things and that's what I've said, and people haven't been offended. If it's something you'll need more than one of (e.g. clothes) just use the same line but say you've already been given far too many.

Most people offering things do so out of goodwill, but I think some people are keen to just get rid of shite they don't need anymore

I do say this but I start to feel guilty for lying and saying no. Idk what’s wrong with me truthfully I’ve got a second hand pram and cot and the rest I really want to buy new as it’s my first baby and I’m so excited to buy things for him myself. I think I must get frustrated with feeling guilty for saying no and that’s why I end up stressing out and feeling angry but I think you’re right that there’s an element of people just trying to fob stuff off they don’t need anymore and that winds me up too

 

[fairylights2000]

Please any reassurance that’s it’s not totally bad to be totally disorganised at 32 weeks. We have most stuff brought but it’s still in boxes/needs washing. Furniture isn’t up, piles of stuff all over the spare bed!
Looks like husband will be having surgery on his elbow… so just feeling abit overwhelmed with how much needs doing!

All our baby stuff was still in bags and boxes, my office was only half way rearranged for the baby and I'd disassembled the snuzpod to clean it when my waters broke at 36+4! We survived thanks to my MIL doing all our laundry and finishing setting up the room while I was in hospital. I also hadn't packed a hospital bag so we were running around at 1am trying to pack while I used almost every towel in the house trying to protect the carpet!! It was stressful at the time but it's a good story now haha

 

[Ro98]

I do say this but I start to feel guilty for lying and saying no. Idk what’s wrong with me truthfully I’ve got a second hand pram and cot and the rest I really want to buy new as it’s my first baby and I’m so excited to buy things for him myself. I think I must get frustrated with feeling guilty for saying no and that’s why I end up stressing out and feeling angry but I think you’re right that there’s an element of people just trying to fob stuff off they don’t need anymore and that winds me up too

I think the anger sometimes stays for a few weeks then goes as I felt like this for AGES at some points during this pregnancy!
Real harsh anger that came out of nowhere when people were just being kind I wouldn’t show it or take it out on anyone but would take my time responding to people.
Maybe just leave their messages for a few days then respond.
Don’t feel guilty saying no though, better to have what you want than rifle through stuff you don’t like/won’t use.

 

[anything at all]

being sent for another growth scan because measuring too small now
last time was measuring too big


I'm sure its because I keep seeing different midwives and they seem to measure from different points?!

 

[Daisydunn15]

This maybe a silly question! Can you use the bassinet part of pushchair for daytime naps?

Yeah, as long as its flat and clear, no different to them falling asleep while you're out walking. Mine hated the bassinet so it got used maybe twice she had plenty of carrier naps tho.

 

[Spencerskates]

can anyone confirm that if you’re too unwell to work they can only ask for evidence if you’ve had 2/3+ days off in a row? I had a uti that wasn’t treated in time and spread to my kidneys, I fainted at the weekend and my partner being scared took me to the epu. They monitored me for a few hours and sent me home with antibiotics. I wasn’t feeling well enough for work yesterday so I stayed in bed. I returned today because I don’t get sick pay. My boss who is desperate to bully me out of my job made me fill out a form which essentially said I need to prove it or ill have a disciplinary. I don’t have any proof and because it was the weekend I don’t think it’s even relevant to my job, just that I was unwell yesterday and couldn’t come in! I’m just worried she’ll use this as a way to push me out more. Sorry for changing the subject and adding something complicated to the thread but I’ll appreciate any help

I don’t know where you’re based/what profession you’re in, but for me, you can self certify for 7 days without a sick note from the doctor. Any absence related to pregnancy is also protected from absence monitoring/disciplinary. Might be worth checking your policies, but it sounds like your boss is being a dick.