Pregnancy #42 the only place where vomiting down yourself isn’t frowned upon

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Ro98

Has anyone else dealt with a strained mother-daughter relationship? I won’t go into too much detail but she had an affair which destroyed my dad & I still hold a lot of resentment but don’t really show it as they’re still together.

When we told them I’m pregnant she was very excited but since then whenever I approach her to discuss things it’s very to the point, not interested in the couple of cute things I bought, dismissive, points out how others we both know have had it worse in their pregnancies.
She/they offered money to put towards baby things (very grateful) but I know she spent hundreds on my brothers babies (I was told how much) & we are getting hardly anything compared.
She’s always favourited other family members and definitely treats my siblings partners differently to me (& I was the worst baby & child apparently compared to my siblings) so I don’t know if she somehow doesn’t like it or has some weird feelings towards it.
Anyway sorry I just really needed to get it off my chest because we’re also moving back in with them whilst we search for a house and now I’m wondering how I’m going to cope
 
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Tifastrife

I'm so sorry. I have a similar relationship with my mum, and she's always favoured/done more for my siblings. I posted a few weeks ago how she was creeping me out a bit with this pregnancy, calling the baby "our baby" etc despite the fact we're really not close it gave me the major ick.

Could you possibly speak to your dad? Good luck moving in, I take my hat off to you. Try lay clear boundaries from the start and have a space to go to get away from her
 
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DiscoBiscuit

I think a big part of this comes down to the child and how you think they'll react to the news. We told our 6 year old the day we had our 12 week scan because I didn't want him to hear it from anyone else. We also weren't 100% sure how he would react, so we wanted to tell him while it was just the 3 of us in case he wasn't happy about the news, and it gave us plenty of time to deal with that if it happened.

I felt that as he's probably going to most affected by the changes a new baby brings, he deserved to know before all the random Aunties and Uncles, and friends on Facebook. I've also told everyone nobody will be meeting the baby until he has.

We've been lucky as he's very excited and has enjoyed helping us prepare for her arrival. We've let him have some input on things like wallpaper choices, and pick some outfits and stuff for her.
 
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Ro98

It’s horrible isn’t it, such an awkward position to be put in. That is so uncomfortable her calling your baby “ours”, I can’t imagine having to have that conversation- I hope it went ok when you did?

I might give that a go when I next see him, it’s a shame because I feel like I neglect him because I avoid her then get even more upset because he was/is such a great Dad
Haha I know starting to think I’m crazy but trying to remind myself of how much more we’ll save in those 5 months & hopefully find our dream home quickly but the housing market atm is 🫣
I feel horrible sometimes with how I feel towards her but my Dad offered to have us back whilst we house hunt and it’s the least she can do for the emotional trauma she’s given me over the years!
 
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WeHadFunRight

My little girl is 4, we told her just after the 12 week scan because I’d told her best friends mum and she had then told her daughter so there was a sense of urgency that we had to tell her before she found out from her friend

I think knowing what I do now I probably would have waited only because this pregnancy has been a bit fraught - but it’s also been handy to explain why I can’t do certain things with/for her at the moment.

Initially I just started laying breadcrumbs like “do you think you’d like to be a big sister…” stuff like that to get the conversation going.
 
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loveanatter

We have a 6 year and I told him at 15 weeks.. we ended up having NIPT and when that came back clear I decided it was the right time.
 
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pink_lemonade

Urgh I hate the ‘our baby’ comment, my partners family say it all the time!
 
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WeHadFunRight

I do find it funny how different families react to baby news there’s definitely a middle ground between “our baby” vs not giving a monkeys why is it so hard to find for some people?!
 
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Nayalove96

Aw I say to all my family he’s our baby it doesn’t bother me! Mad how different peoples feelings are about it x
 
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HarringBird

Hello all! I've noticed I feel 'sore' top of my abdomen on the right after I cough - doesn't hurt, or hurt to touch, just notice it feels sore now and then, almost like theres a bruise ( which there isnt )

Has anyone experienced similiar? Im 30 weeks tomorrow. Thank you x
 
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pink_lemonade

Nayalove96 said:
Aw I say to all my family he’s our baby it doesn’t bother me! Mad how different peoples feelings are about it x
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As bad as this is gonna sound, anyone bar my partners family I like them saying it, and I do get on with my partners family but when they say it, it makes me feel like a surrogate
 
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Nayalove96

pink_lemonade said:
As bad as this is gonna sound, anyone bar my partners family I like them saying it, and I do get on with my partners family but when they say it, it makes me feel like a surrogate
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Oh 100% if my child’s dad was involved I’d be like nah not a chance bad ain’t it
 
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Facehugger

Hope no one minds me posting but when folks are pregnant, some people want the fuss and attention all the time and others just want to be left to get on with it without folks fawning all over them every 5 minutes.

It's a balancing act and I think if you know the person well, you should know how to juggle it. But I see how if you don't show much interest, you can be accused of not caring, show too much interest then you're accused of being over bearing. I don't have any grand children yet but I'm sure I'll have to deal with the 'how do I play this' if my son's wife ever has a baby.
 
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Sw_isacult

Baby S born 35weeks 2 days via emergency c section due to ruptured placenta. Spent the last few days crying out of it. He's in NICU dad had been amazing and there 24/7, scariest time of my life
 
Reactions: 31

WeHadFunRight

Sw_isacult said:
Baby S born 35weeks 2 days via emergency c section due to ruptured placenta. Spent the last few days crying out of it. He's in NICU dad had been amazing and there 24/7, scariest time of my life
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Congratulations to you on baby S’s arrival, sending you much love, sounds very traumatic, hope you’re okay and you can access the support you need xx
 
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Tifastrife

Sw_isacult said:
Baby S born 35weeks 2 days via emergency c section due to ruptured placenta. Spent the last few days crying out of it. He's in NICU dad had been amazing and there 24/7, scariest time of my life
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Sending all the love. Congrats on your baby boy and I hope you're ok and getting plenty of rest and support
 
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Blair-Waldorf

Sw_isacult said:
Baby S born 35weeks 2 days via emergency c section due to ruptured placenta. Spent the last few days crying out of it. He's in NICU dad had been amazing and there 24/7, scariest time of my life
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Congratulations this is exactly what happened to me. Sending you lots of love, we were home after a week, hang in there your baby is in the best place. Be kind to yourself xxxx
 
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angelicajames

we planned to wait until we new the gender but my 5 year old must of overheard us and announced to his class I had a baby in my tummy when I was about 6 weeks! It’s whenever you feel comfortable but I’d maybe wait until you can show her a scan etc. x
 
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Luisa18

Has anyone else had a low Papp-a indicator? I feel like the hits keep coming with this pregnancy and my body it’s just failing it.
 
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imtakingabath

Luisa18 said:
Has anyone else had a low Papp-a indicator? I feel like the hits keep coming with this pregnancy and my body it’s just failing it.
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Yes I have, I’ll have extra growth scans from 32 weeks, and had a Doppler artery scan at my 20 week scan to check the placenta’s blood flow.
 
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