Pregnancy #22 Sponsored by Halfords

[PineappleTopper]

Thanks for all of the replies ladies. Sending you all lots of love.

My main concern is getting to know baby, feeding her (hopefully breastfeeding). If this works, then id like to express after a month so partner can do one feed a day whilst i nap or do house work.

My main concern is
- partner hates food shopping. He buys food when we have run out and its usually just as the shop is probably closing so its all the bits going out of date
- he doesnt cook. Not really. Salmon with potatoes and greens are his speciality and he acts like gordon ramsey after making it.
- he doesn't clean the kitchen. He like to do it in the morning in one big go, if he has time, which means that until he gets round to it (11am), the kitchen is a state. He could quite easily fill the dishwasher.. But he doesnt..
- hes taking 1 week of pat leave
- he plans to keep working 2 jobs (to provide for us).

Thats about all i can think of right now.

Just said all of this to my best friend. She called me up. I feel much better now.
She said hopefully itll be different for mr once baby is here and he has a better underatandimf of newborn life. Right now he is basing our lives on how they are currently.he is basing out set up on the traditional set up of his folks. Mum full time childcare and housework. Dad full time work.
Thats fine. But we will have a newborn and i will be recovering post birth.. So we cant slip in to the traditional right away.. Is my thinking...

Best friend has said to try not to stress.. Could bring on labour.. Hadnt thought of that.. The one thing i havent tried

My husband is amazing; he does half of the childcare for our son, very hands on. However he was not always like this and it took a good couple of months for him to figure out that not only did a small person depend on him, but I did too. Littlepotato was a very laid back baby but I felt that husband took advantage of this by never waking up for feeds, always picking up the 3pm-11pm shift and sleeping in and just not doing his share. In the end he would do the 3am feed while I did 11pm and 5am. He openly admits that everytime littlepotato changes/grows up, he struggles a bit to adapt.

There’s some things that he doesn’t do and I do them; mealtimes as he’s shite at cooking and will feed littlepotato weetabix and another is clothes/school supplies as he just doesn’t enjoy it. I’ll often make up a meal when I’m at work with instructions, or husband would ask nursery to give littlepotato a hot lunchtime. There’s stuff i’m shite at; I’m always late for the school run, and I can’t do soft play/parks/bikes due to my disability with my leg and hip.

It took a long time for us to fall into a rhythm, probably a good few months. Communication is the key; husband will tell me that he doesn’t know what to do unless I tell him. Sounds like a pathetic excuse but that’s how he is as a person.

So tldr; communicate your needs

Thank you. This is what i needed to hear xx

 

[grumpycat]

I think it’s really hard to foresee how a baby fits in because it’s mind blowing how a TINY person needs SO much time/care/everything

As @Smallpotato said, communicate! My husband is pretty good and despite doing things like leaving the house a tip, he will do everything and anything. His work has different start/finish and nights away but that’s normal for us.
I definitely think it’s a little hard for men to get used to that adjustment of a baby being there, but sometimes they can take the piss(!) so I think if you have a solid communication base at the start, when the parenting gets when you have teasy toddlers etc it makes the world of difference. You are a team

 

[noseyqueen14]

- he doesnt cook. Not really. Salmon with potatoes and greens are his speciality and he acts like gordon ramsey after making it.

Sorry but this really made me lol. so familiar.

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

Thanks for all of the replies ladies. Sending you all lots of love.

My main concern is getting to know baby, feeding her (hopefully breastfeeding). If this works, then id like to express after a month so partner can do one feed a day whilst i nap or do house work.

My main concern is
- partner hates food shopping. He buys food when we have run out and its usually just as the shop is probably closing so its all the bits going out of date
- he doesnt cook. Not really. Salmon with potatoes and greens are his speciality and he acts like gordon ramsey after making it.
- he doesn't clean the kitchen. He like to do it in the morning in one big go, if he has time, which means that until he gets round to it (11am), the kitchen is a state. He could quite easily fill the dishwasher.. But he doesnt..
- hes taking 1 week of pat leave
- he plans to keep working 2 jobs (to provide for us).

Thats about all i can think of right now.

Just said all of this to my best friend. She called me up. I feel much better now.
She said hopefully itll be different for mr once baby is here and he has a better underatandimf of newborn life. Right now he is basing our lives on how they are currently.he is basing out set up on the traditional set up of his folks. Mum full time childcare and housework. Dad full time work.
Thats fine. But we will have a newborn and i will be recovering post birth.. So we cant slip in to the traditional right away.. Is my thinking...

Best friend has said to try not to stress.. Could bring on labour.. Hadnt thought of that.. The one thing i havent tried


Thank you. This is what i needed to hear xx

Yep absolutely reiterating what people have said - communicate everything! Don’t bottle it up as you will feel so much worse and always go into everything as a team like “I think WE need to…” rather than a “YOU don’t do this, but I ALWAYS do this” because then you just create complete resentment between the both of you and then he won’t see it as a nag because you’re including you too. I totally agree with your bestie, maybe mr pineapple will step up - I have a good feeling you will be surprised with how he will help you. Other things are purely practical and can absolutely be worked round. Also my partner only took 5 days () of leave first time round so I went and lived with my mum for 2 weeks. I semi regret it as it set me off feeling unsettled but I really needed the support at the time and I’m glad I did because I knew I didn’t have to worry about cleaning/cooking/shopping/anything at all really other than sleeping and feeding!

ps. I wish I could take my own advice about the nagging thing, I am AWFUL for it and I’m pretty sure my partner thinks I just pick on him all day long don’t do a me

 

[PineappleTopper]

I’ve just told my mum that I’m having doubts about the pram (pram system was a gift from my mum and dad) don’t think she is very happy with me. I’ve tried to explain that it is a very expensive mistake if I choose the wrong one.

I’ve booked an appointment with John Lewis to look at prams in store to have another good look at them and decide if we are going to cancel our order as we have until next weekend to change our minds.

John Lewis offer discounts if you spend over a certain amount. Def worth considering. They also have a decent 5 year warranty and you can talk to someone in the shop if anything goes for wrong with your set, rather than struggle with online retailers.

Re your mum, as others have said. Its less expensive to change your mind now. Much better you make a decision you feel good about. You want to use this alot and to happy with it. Hopefully your ma can understand that.

Write down what you want from a set
- 1 or 2 seater potential
- colour choice if important
- how much included
- pram + buggy + adapatable for car seat
- Type of terrain (city/ country)
- how many wheels
- price point

And go from there

 

[Borntorun]

I think the thing I struggled with post baby wasn’t the way my life changed as such… but I’d get this feeling of being touched out. Because I could never put my daughter down ever, and she’d only sleep at night cosleeping touching me. So by the end of the day I’d feel like omg I need some space now. And then my husband would come home and all he’d want was a hug but I’d be like christ, don’t touch me that was the main part of our relationship that changed, but it didn’t last forever. I think he felt a bit rejected initially but once I’d explained he sort of got it

 

[Hannah_204]

Sorry but this really made me lol. so familiar.

This is my go to dish.. I’m the man!

 

[Smallpotato]

Thanks for all of the replies ladies. Sending you all lots of love.

My main concern is getting to know baby, feeding her (hopefully breastfeeding). If this works, then id like to express after a month so partner can do one feed a day whilst i nap or do house work.

My main concern is
- partner hates food shopping. He buys food when we have run out and its usually just as the shop is probably closing so its all the bits going out of date
- he doesnt cook. Not really. Salmon with potatoes and greens are his speciality and he acts like gordon ramsey after making it.
- he doesn't clean the kitchen. He like to do it in the morning in one big go, if he has time, which means that until he gets round to it (11am), the kitchen is a state. He could quite easily fill the dishwasher.. But he doesnt..
- hes taking 1 week of pat leave
- he plans to keep working 2 jobs (to provide for us).

Thats about all i can think of right now.

Just said all of this to my best friend. She called me up. I feel much better now.
She said hopefully itll be different for mr once baby is here and he has a better underatandimf of newborn life. Right now he is basing our lives on how they are currently.he is basing out set up on the traditional set up of his folks. Mum full time childcare and housework. Dad full time work.
Thats fine. But we will have a newborn and i will be recovering post birth.. So we cant slip in to the traditional right away.. Is my thinking...

Best friend has said to try not to stress.. Could bring on labour.. Hadnt thought of that.. The one thing i havent tried


Thank you. This is what i needed to hear xx

You can do it. I feel we become mothers as soon as baby is born, (or before depending on your beliefs etc) while fathers it happens a bit later on. Husband took 4 weeks AL and had 2 weeks paternity leave with littlepotato, this time he has 6 months, 2 months back and then another 2 months.

Husband did take the piss at the beginning but trust me, it’s not as bad as some of my friends other halves. My friend with 3 under 3, her boyfriend has never done a night feed or changed a bum. “I don’t do that kind of thing”. Another wears shorts in the shower and the bath with his daughter. Another won’t allow his son to wear bright coloured clothes.

This is patronising to my husband but it works; I write him lists of what to do. It helps him plan the day and knows what I need doing. I wish after 11 years he would make me a brew after work and some toast, but he never does. But he wishes I wouldn’t buy red top milk and shop in M&S food hall but

I think the thing I struggled with post baby wasn’t the way my life changed as such… but I’d get this feeling of being touched out. Because I could never put my daughter down ever, and she’d only sleep at night cosleeping touching me. So by the end of the day I’d feel like omg I need some space now. And then my husband would come home and all he’d want was a hug but I’d be like christ, don’t touch me that was the main part of our relationship that changed, but it didn’t last forever. I think he felt a bit rejected initially but once I’d explained he sort of got it

YES THIS. I’d have kid on me all day, been at work all night, cats at my feet and he would flick a nipple and expect me to be thrilled. No. Don’t even breathe near me.

 

[wakametango]

Can I just ask, those who have had babies. How accurate was the weight from what they estimated baby and what your babe was at birth?

Bang on for me. Midwife was correct and consultant was trying to convince me not to have a section as he thought it was more about my babies leg length making her look heavy rather than purely weight.
She was predicted 9-10 and came out 9.6 a week early x

 

[Borntorun]

YES THIS. I’d have kid on me all day, been at work all night, cats at my feet and he would flick a nipple and expect me to be thrilled. No. Don’t even breathe near me.

Oh and breastfeeding nips cannot be flicked. Ever. In fact, just don’t touch them or even risk taking the bra off as they leak at awkward times (I say leak and you’d imagine a few drops. Nope, imagine a water pistol…)

 

[Easilyannoyed]

Hey everyone just checking in had to go to the dentist today because I woke up had a sip of tea abs my tooth just dropped out obviously my body was clinging onto it. Had to go out on my own for the first time missed my little cherub so much then got told I’ve got to have surgery to get the fragments out anyway dont not use the services available to you when you’re pregnant claim all the treatment and prescriptions

 

[wakametango]

Random genuine question for mamas

how much of the looking after baby are you doing at the mo? (newborn /young baby).
What is the division between you and your OH ?

Just asking as Mr and i are wondering about our own set up. We obvs have no idea what to do re raising a new born (first time parents) and mr seems to think he can still do his second job delivering food two nights a week, carry on doing house tasks, whilst i focus on baby, cook and do food shopping. How realistic is that?

Just had an argument about it. Seem to be having lots of niggles currently. Mainly about him busying himself so much trying to be productive. He is wanting to provide for Us and do tasks i am not able to. (hes just been ripping out our old bathroom and sorting walls, window glass replacement). I just feel like he could chill out a bit more is all, but its SO important to him to do it all now.

I came home from hospital with the kitchen contents all over the kitchen and black bags. He went wild nesting and throwing everything out of date away (we’ve never had a bad tummy with what I cook so wasn’t necessary!!?!) do you think your OH could be trying to make it perfect for your little one?
We’re new parents too and my OH can’t sit still, he does stuff 100mph just so he can get on call of duty. He sees baby as my job, I’m trying to breast feed so not much he can do but he does shy away from making and giving her bottles too as she needs top ups due to her poor latch because of tongue tie (he would only rush her and I’d rather do paced feeding). He was aghast when I suggested he hold her and eat his dinner so I could have my hands free.
In short, it’s mainly me

 

[Easilyannoyed]

Can I just ask, those who have had babies. How accurate was the weight from what they estimated baby and what your babe was at birth?

Right so I had aonmany growth scans abs she was on 58th centile then dropped to 18th then 97th and then 42nd she was 7lbs 12oz and when I went for her heel prick test she hadn’t lost any weight. She was bang on what they estimated in the beginning so all that hassle for nothing xx

 

[Lulu Goss]

I started packing my hospital bag tonight - I can’t believe how much stuff needs to be fit in! Got halfway through with most of mine and baby’s stuff but some bits can’t go in til last minute. Felt like I was doing something productive at least…

On the talk of splitting duties, my partner is very keen to be hands on with baby. What I’ve said I will need him to do though is more around the house stuff - e.g. he’s never cleaned the bathroom but he’ll have to start! It’s not even that he can’t/won’t do things like that now, it’s just I know he’ll do more of a half arsed job of it than I would so it seems easier to do it myself!

 

[a.pain]

Hi please tell me that I’m not alone on this one

I ordered my travel system last weekend and now I’m worrying that I’ve made the wrong decision We have ordered the Silver Cross Wave and simplicity plus car seat. Does anyone have any honest reviews on this travel system? I thought I loved it last week but then I went online and seen a couple of reviews x

I haven’t had a wave but had a pioneer with my last baby and I liked it, lovely to push and beautiful to look at. Cons were it was quite heavy and big when folded. I imagine improvements have been made since then and the wave fabrics are stunning

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I still can't bring myself to join the new mum thread because in my head I'm still technically pregnant and the twins are 36weeks not 3 weeks old. But they've graduated from their heated mattresses as we have left the hospital this evening and it really feels like home is getting closer

 

[Hbirdette]

I still can't bring myself to join the new mum thread because in my head I'm still technically pregnant and the twins are 36weeks not 3 weeks old. But they've graduated from their heated mattresses as we have left the hospital this evening and it really feels like home is getting closer

So happy for you! C’mon baby thankyous, not much longer to go!!

 

[Easilyannoyed]

I started packing my hospital bag tonight - I can’t believe how much stuff needs to be fit in! Got halfway through with most of mine and baby’s stuff but some bits can’t go in til last minute. Felt like I was doing something productive at least…

On the talk of splitting duties, my partner is very keen to be hands on with baby. What I’ve said I will need him to do though is more around the house stuff - e.g. he’s never cleaned the bathroom but he’ll have to start! It’s not even that he can’t/won’t do things like that now, it’s just I know he’ll do more of a half arsed job of it than I would so it seems easier to do it myself!

Hey just something to say make sure you take loads of vests and baby grows and muslin clothes my bebeh got through so many outfits and also I highly recommend the tenna disposable pants I bought multi pack on Amazon so much more convienient for me. Xx

 

[Lulu Goss]

I still can't bring myself to join the new mum thread because in my head I'm still technically pregnant and the twins are 36weeks not 3 weeks old. But they've graduated from their heated mattresses as we have left the hospital this evening and it really feels like home is getting closer

Ahh that’s amazing You’ll be taking them home before you know it!

Hey just something to say make sure you take loads of vests and baby grows and muslin clothes my bebeh got through so many outfits and also I highly recommend the tenna disposable pants I bought multi pack on Amazon so much more convienient for me. Xx

Thanks for this! At the moment I’ve got 4 baby grows, 5 vests, 2 hats and 3 muslins… would you say to take more than that?

I’ve got the disposable pants and pads as well, they’re what’s taking up all the room in my case

 

[Nursty]

Hey just something to say make sure you take loads of vests and baby grows and muslin clothes my bebeh got through so many outfits and also I highly recommend the tenna disposable pants I bought multi pack on Amazon so much more convienient for me. Xx

Oh I'm glad you said this about the tenna pants. I got some of them and some normal maternity pads and wasn't sure which to pack cos the tenna pants don't look like they're absorbent enough?? But guessing they are. X