Perimenopause Moans #3

[Winthropp Tuesday]

It's really shit. And all I get from partner is "I don't want to hear about it, stupid women and their hormones, just get on with it "!

Oh that’s awful. I am so sorry. If men had to deal with a tenth of all the shit we women do, it’d all be taken much more seriously. Period pain would be a thing of the past, endometriosis would be cured and menopause would have one universal treatment that worked a charm for every person.

 

[Moonflower]

Im just wanting to say hello, I'm so glad to find this thread.

Preparing for my first appointment with my GP to discuss HRT. Got more sympathy from chatGPT than from my partner.

I feel so alone, and sad. My peri has caught me by suprise. My sadness isn’t just about the physical changes— it feels like a loss of control, a shift in identity, and almost a grieving process for my body and life I've known. And as it seems to have come so suddenly, before I felt ready, it’s even more jarring.

I feel like my identity has been taken away.

I don't know how to get back to a place where I feel stable, strong and vibrant.

Sorry for the brain dump

I know exactly how you feel, I could have written that word for word. It's so shit, I'm sorry.

I hope HRT works for you, but as a voice of warning please don't pin your hopes on it fixing everything. I do feel better, but still not myself. I'm not sure what's next, a private clinic, anti depressants. I have good days but mostly outweighed by bad.

Sorry I know that sounds really negative. But brain dump away with us at least! Do you have friends to support you? Ive found at least when I've opened up with people my age they are keen to share their feelings, I don't think it is talked about enough.

 

[zetta buttons]

The past few weeks, the rage for both of us has been off the scale. Yesterday, we sat down and talked it through because it just can’t carry on. It’s completely irrational and making us both miserable. In the past, if we had an argument one of us would go out for a run or a bike ride to cool off but we don’t have the energy to do that all the time now. The arguments at the moment (caused by both of us feeling this rage) are so upsetting. We are at the total whim of our hormones.

 

[Swordshead]

Three social events this week and I only made one. Ladies, I used to go to every event going I'm just annoyed/irritated by everyone and just so tired. I'll suck it up for Xmas day but the lack of interest is crazy. I'm not even sure I hate it though as I love alone time too

 

[Lico]

I feel like I've aged more in the past year, than my previous 47 years. I would have considered myself reasonably fit for my age and weight. But practically over night, I've turned into an auld one. My first symptom was waking up at 3 am and not getting back to sleep. This started about 6 years ago. I didn't realize at the time it was probably peri. Then I noticed I smell. Now it's the bad moods. And the aches and pains are agonizing. I have an appointment at a menopause clinic. I hate blood tests. But I can't go on like this.

 

[maytoseptember]

That’s truly shit advice @Sour Pickle

Guidelines for GPs say 45 is the age at which you have to really take a woman’s peri symptoms seriously. I mean that’s bad enough right - as if some women can’t really be suffering prior to that - but it sounds like he pulled 51 out of his arse.

Also, it’s a classic move to send us away with antidepressants

 

[Fanny Muchmore]

My migraines are awful. I usually get botox treatments for them every 3 months but the hospital are behind, I should have been done in October and I'm still waiting

Currently having my first period since September. So today I was stuck in bed with a migraine, terrible cramping and horrific flooding.

 

[zetta buttons]

My current period was late and the build up was horrific yet it’s only lasted 3 days (normally really heavy/flooding and last 6 days).

I feel so much better than I did a week ago though, when I was tired, grumpy, bloated AF and unable to function.

I keep thinking that if men felt like this every month for 40 years of their life, things would be different.

 

[Badirene]

I have life long anemia my ferritin was 4!
it’s better now think it was up to 15 last month I I have to take iron tablets every day to feel like I’m not dying!

Wow, I thought I was bad at 7. My GP asked if I was in a car crash as at that level he feared I was bleeding internally. He still didn't refer me for any investigation though


I was dizzy, and constantly tired. I would sit down with a coffee in the afternoon and often just fell asleep, I had a few near misses with scalding myself with the coffee. It was awful. Women's health around menstruation is not taken seriously, we are just expected to cope.

 

[veronica71]

The amount of money wasted on sending us all for blood tests could pay for so much HRT!!

 

[petitspois]

Omg same here. I'm so cross with myself as my OH keeps asking if I want photos taken with my small grandchildren. I always say no as seeing the photos ruins my memory of the lovely time I've had with them. I genuinely don't think I'm that vain until I see photos or catch mirrors in shops and I just look so old and fat. And then feel deluded and sad that I've made an effort to look nice. I know some of it is due to the menopausal head f*ck. I've genuinely forgotten the feeling of looking in a full length mirror and being happy.

Jellybean, the photos are for them as they love you and love looking at you!

 

[SunshineSally]

I am going to see my doctor today but ...

Has anyone's face become tingly and partially paralysed? Mine comes and goes and switches sides. Could be the left, the right, my upper lip. My face hasn't dropped.

I am going through a lot of stress at the minute. I'm having to look after my elderly abusive father who is days/weeks from dying. There is a lot more that I can't type here

I'm not taking HRT because my mum had breast cancer. I was only prescribed antidepressants which haven't helped at all.

 

[missaustraliaaddict]

Oh that’s awful. I am so sorry. If men had to deal with a tenth of all the shit we women do, it’d all be taken much more seriously. Period pain would be a thing of the past, endometriosis would be cured and menopause would have one universal treatment that worked a charm for every person.

I completely agree.
I get no support, all of my issues are just an inconvenience to him. He used to be the opposite when I first knew him

 

[ElectricDreams]

I've been to the GP today, mainly as a follow up to the stroke I had last month, but perimenopause came up in the discussion and how tough I've been finding it and how difficult my weight is to shift. I came away feeling quite fobbed off. She's basically advised vitamins, yoga and pilates and given me the number for the Better Living program (which adhd me won't ever do anything with) Said there's no need for hormonal intervention and I don't qualify for the jabs (not that I was asking for them, she just assumed!) Can't be arsed to argue while everything stroke related is still ongoing. Might try a different GP as the one before her I saw did seem quite sympathetic.

 

[50sGirl]

Well today marks 11 months since my last period so I’m on the final countdown!
I know nothing will really change at the 12 months but it’s still a milestone.

 

[Crumpet41]

I am thinking of looking to go and see a private specialist - I have had nothing but trouble for the most part with GP's and peri. It took me almost 18 months to be taken seriously ( sorry this is me going on a tangent here - I think I was 43 when I started having peri symptoms) .
I eventually found a GP who listened to me (although by this stage I had been logging symptoms for 3+months in the hope that someone would believe me ) and I was eventually given HRT.

This GP left the surgery and was replaced by another idiot ( a female GP as well ) who accused me of lying and telling me I was too young for peri and wanted to prescribe me lithium . I ripped up the prescription and just stopped going to the GP and have carried on as best as I can.

I am FUCKING sick of not being taken seriously . I have stopped wanting to go and get help because every GP i have seen constantly disregard what I am saying ( and sorry for swearing - it is not directed towards you). Recently, I have have been giving some thought to seeing someone in a private capacity because i am wondering if i am now close to menopause . Periods are very hit and miss and i have had three occasions where i have not had one for 6 months ( and then the brown blood ) which i read was related to being in the late stages ( although i am not entirely sure it was accurate as it wasnt a publication that looked "official".

Apologies for the moan - it has not been the best experience so far. Being told i needed lithium instead of HRT was the last straw (i am nearly 47 now ).

 

[CarmenGhia]

I was out playing pickleball last night and felt quite okay in my body, even though I'd got shorts on. It was moving as it should and I just felt okay. Today, I caught sight of myself side-on in a mirror and nearly puked. I used to be a slim pear shape, now I'm an overbalanced, fat apple who's too short to carry weight and look good.

 

[taffygirl77]

My biopsy has made the bleeding worse. Had to make sure I was covered up when I had finished work, I felt awful and terrible cramps too today. Went to chemist to pick something up and asked did they have anything to help. They said go to GP next week. Popped to the GP they said they couldn't help with an appt or phone call, this afternoon, burst into tears. Bless them, the receptionist took me into a side room, I told her what was going on. The GP decided I could either wait to see them, or they would send me to A&E. GP has prescribed me meds to stop the period, and to keep going with the coil plan.
Chemist was impressed I was seen!
GP's receptionists are absolutely my heroes at the moment. Moral of the story, don't give up, we don't have to go through this and don't be afraid to cry in public. I also told them my partner had a hysterectomy so I couldn't possibly be pregnant

 

[Fanny Muchmore]

Touch wood, but I think my period has finally ended. 1 full calendar month, 28th - 28th.

 

[humansreallysuck]

I'm really struggling. I'm 44 so definitely in perimenopause. I feel so down on myself, and just angry all the time. I suffer from depression anyway and other mental health issues but they are getting worse with the peri. Partner isn't very supportive. Just tells me to control my emotions and deal with it

I honestly have no idea how those of you with husbands / partners are coping while going through this.
I am almost 2 years single and even 2 years ago I was definitely feeling like I didn’t want to be around my partner as much and couldn’t tollerate his breathing or eating or mannerisms and sometimes just the smell of him annoyed me and we lived separately and only stayed together 2 nights a week

I have zero interest or intentions of ever dating anyone ever again at this point!
if I was full time married I’d end up in jail