Peaches Geldof and the Geldof family #3

[maytoseptember]

I want to be a ballerina but I’m not. I don’t go around telling lies claiming that I am a ballerina, and then sneering at people who aren’t to make them feel like shit.

Exactly. I mean, addicts lie, we know this, but what Peaches did was another level. It’s one thing to pretend to your nearest and dearest that you’re not using when you are, but she did more than that.

Peaches constructed a whole fantasy mothering life in which she wasn’t just a great mother, she was better than everyone else. Personally I think the attachment/gentle parent movement is really toxic and brainwashes women into hating on mothers who they see as “doing it wrong”. But in reality they’re desperately insecure themselves. Of course we know why Peaches was insecure about herself.

 

[The Yoko Ono of GY]

Paula was a victim of child sexual abuse at aged 12. Her losing her virginity at that age has always been framed by the media as consensual. It is not. That is a child being taken advantage of. Look at a 12 year old! I think, unfortunately, she felt from a very early age that sex was her 'value'. Paired with a neglectful childhood, I think she really needed to feel wanted and sex was one way of getting that.

Ah I see. Thanks for explaining! That’s what I intensely suspected, that early abuse played a role. Also the case with a lot of prostitutes. (The reason why I‘m anti-prostitution, because even if it’s „consensual“ it’s often based on a pattern of exploitation.)

 

[Solpaqueen]

I don’t think Paula was a good mum, she probably wanted to be one hence the books and fake family life. Some tea, my Godfather knew her slightly and couldn’t stand her. I have put this on another thread some time ago but couldn’t find it different name. This was in the 80s my godfather was good friends with John Galliano who was seeing Jasper Conran and they were in his company I think it was his studio and they heard a lot of noise and a child screeching mucking around then they heard a woman screaming and shouting swearing and a really hard slap the sort that echos around a room. He said he and John were doing all those OMG faces and sniggering about it being young - then Paula Yates came into view with one of her girls. But he said it occurred to him much later in life that the little girl hadn’t cried despite that slap must have really hurt. Imagine hitting a child like that all the time painting a picture of domestic bliss.
he also said he’d heard that Paula didn’t like Peaches and never took to her and was always very hard on her she sacked a nanny that Peaches loved and slept with.

 

[plinky2]

I think it’s actually interesting how Paula herself set Bobs personality as cold and horrible - she used it to make herself feel less terrible about leaving him. He also did seem to help her. I believe he also helped MH - didn’t Bob actually move out and help MH with a place to live by swapping? I honestly don’t think he hated either of them, it was just he was not about to let her zoom off to Australia after MH on tour and stood his ground about their schooling. Ultimately MH and PY had a lot of problems in themselves and Bob telling them they couldn’t just do as they pleased if it affected the kids did not land well. Bob worrying about his kids being away for a long period on tour with a rock band was a legit concern

 

[Eirawen]

I just cannot compute how being a self obsessed (and MH obsessed) hedonistic drug user (before MH died) makes someone a good parent and person, and the more boring parent who looks a bit grumpy but raised the kids and one who wasn’t even his, makes him the bad guy

MH was a complete mess, during his RS with Paula he declined so much. In part as INXS became outdated. Look at the TGIF interview. I love MH as a musician, but I don’t think he was a good parent. I don’t hate Paula, but she was a terrible parent. They both got a lot of stick for their OWN bad choices

Even Bono and friends got sick of them and stopped hanging out with him and Paula as they were always high. They had OPIUM in the house with kids - they deserved to get into trouble. It’s well known MH was using all kinds of drugs for a long time. A good mother would not have risked exposing her kids to that life

I agree but there is an old Welsh saying "if you want true respect - die" and I think because they both died young they have been romantised to a ridiculous extent. People in general were sick of Paula and her star was fading fast, no doubt she would have made a comeback after awhile but she would have been less attractive and older and the flirting would have been pathetic. When Paula was alive she wanted to drag the kids out of school to follow Michael and his band all over Australia which would have probably ended up with them being palmed off onto various people/nannies aquaintances and God know what would have happened to them. She always put herself first. Bob may be grumpy and sullen and probably mean but he made sure that didn't happen he was by far the better parent.

 

[sheleg]

I know it’s a couple of pages back, but the idea of Bob asking for freebies at his local Tesco really amuses me. How does he go about it? Does he take a couple of yellow-label ready meals up to the counter and beg the cashier for them??

 

[FrannyGallops]

Thank you x

But jfc
View attachment 2030950

I got a copy of that some years ago for a quid in a discount bookstore. Didn’t realise I might end up a millionaire from it one day. Fuck 1st editions of Harry Potter, I’m getting rich from Paula, Michael & Bob! Watch out for me on Antiques Roadshow

 

[GingerJones50]

While I agree wholeheartedly with that, I think Michael should also share some of the blame. He was a grown man who thought nothing of shagging his ‘friend’s’ wife and he could have put a stop to the relationship during any part of it and certainly shouldn’t have brought another child into the relationship. I think his drug use and celebrity status totally skewed his perspective over it all.

He also took an extremely immature attitude towards the welfare of the children. He decided that Fifi, Peaches & Pixie were his children and they him, Paula & Tiger were the family now. Although he became incredibly distressed about any time without Tiger he really could not understand that Bob & his children had a bond and the children needed contact with him and consistency with schooling, friends, home. He just thought he could uproot them to Australia for months on end or permanently because that was his and Paula’s preference.

 

[SkippyDoo]

Paula should have just flown to Aus with TL and left the older girls in school. Bob had to get an emergency custody hearing at Christmas to stop her, so this IMO was always on Paula for making bad decisions and she should not have promised this to MH. Paula wanted to recreate this new big magical family with MH and I don’t blame BG for feeling like he was being written out, especially when he was the one providing the stability for his kids. Fifi didn’t even seem to want to go, judging by what she’s said so I have no clue why Paula was trying to drag her along. Paula made those girls life 10,000 harder by so many of the things she did, the divorce was horrible because she chose to make it so.

100%. Why was an expectation created that someone else’s children would be allowed to fly to the other side of the world to visit their mother’s boyfriend? And why was so much emphasis put on that that it had to turn into court battles and all the histrionics. We know who must have put that idea in Michael’s head.

I don’t really like Bob but I can’t fault his position on that one — they’re his kids not Michael’s, the guy was taking drugs and behaving wildly, Australia is a very long way away and Paula was unstable too.

Michael and Bob argued — to me, Paula tried to make Bob sound like the bad guy after this, but Bob did nothing wrong in refusing this, it was a ridiculous idea in the first place. If you ask me, typical disordered thinking from someone abusing drugs and/or alcoholic: wants something unreasonable, can’t see the other side, reacts super out of proportion when a more rational person pushes back on the madness (I am like this when drinking too).

I totally agree with you, Tiger Lily should have gone with her mum if Paula really wanted to see Michael and have Michael see his actual child. If Paula wanted to be closer to all her kids then Michael could have done the travelling.

 

[maytoseptember]

I think he saw the girls and then tigerLily as a idealised family that offered an alternative life. But I think he was in love with the fantasy of family Life rather than the reality.

I suspect you’re right.

I think an awful lot of men are attracted to the idea of fatherhood and what it can bring them. They like the idea of elevating their status as a man. But the actual reality of fatherhood, the work, the drudgery… nah, they didn’t sign up for that.

If Michael had lived, I don’t think he would have been a very good dad. He wouldn’t have stayed with Paula. He would have wafted in and out of his daughter’s life.

 

[Beverley Macker]

The perfect mother image was also emulated by Peaches, another shit mum who was trying to make other mums feel like crap.

 

[Lizzie Mintdrop]

I liked the theory someone posted about Paula putting the sex stuff out there to send a message to other women and ex’s. Interesting view Point, like she’s marking her territory.
There’s hot men I’d fancy a chance with but not if Ihad to have seafood up my chuff or sedate myself! Surely that would also put women who didn’t yet know him, right off.

Even the thought of someone massaging my arse cheeks for hours would put me off and I'd be freezing cold so I'd need to put the heating on and that's going to put everyone off nowadays

 

[MrsBsDayOff]

I remember seeing her on that bed and it did make me cringe she was not backwards in coming forwards and put it about and fed her own ego and narcissm. The earth mother image is what really made me puke, none of it was her at all she put herself first and kids second or even third after Michael H. I agree on HIGNFY Hislop (whom I dislike anyway not because of Paula) and Merton thought she would come back at them with witty comments and give as good as she got but no she wasn't that bright at all and by then she was unpopular in general and she shouldn't really have gone on the show.

I agree. No one in this sorry story should be glorified. Also I got the impression that the 'intelligence' of both Paula and Peaches was overstated.

 

[LByrne74]

me too. I remember Paula in an interview talking about their sex life and it grossed me out. It didn’t feel genuine, felt like someone bragging about an adventurous sex life (they did “everything”) to keep her man around and because she was clinging to the idea of her being some sort of sex symbol, even though she was an older woman with a fairy large family. It’s the kind of silly behaviour people roll their eyes at if you’re in your 20s, but by your 40s you should know better.

it just sounded sleazy to me.

Take with a pinch of salt but in Gerry Agar's book I remember reading something about Paula taking things like Rohypnol during some of their antics and that Paula was just a "rag doll to do anything he wanted with". Also that when she was still breastfeeding, the sedative drugs would inevitably be in her milk and that because of this Tiger Lily used to be sleepy more than she should be, at that time.

 

[despair]

It was the dad that drove Phaedra back. Mind you she had been an addict the entire time she knew him so maybe they thought she was managing. But there was 2 extended periods where she didn’t have her phone (it was ‘lost’ etc which for someone addicted to their phone is ridiculous) and clearly she was away.
I was blocked because she was saying how she couldn’t breastfeed due to thyroid medication, and I asked what that was as my daughter had just been diagnosed with a thyroid issue and I was interested (as she was sharing) and she blocked me but obvs she was on methadone and heroin which is not quite the same…

 

[Jelly Bean]

Watched both episodes of Paula and wondered why Rupert Everett wasn’t mentioned? He openly discussed their affair on Piers Morgan!

It was quite a strange programme altogether really. I think whoever made it was at massive pains to not offend the Geldof family (Bob). Big chunks glossed over or left out, and the bizarre inclusion of Grace Dent and Vanessa Feltz who never mentioned actually meeting her.
It wasn't bad, just really quite odd.

 

[MrsBsDayOff]

It is so annoying she’s blaming Helena now. This is why Tiger was estranged for so long, because his family did nothing but infighting and media interviews.
Michael asked Helena to keep it private and she did. I don’t think it was down to Helena to be responsible for Michael he was a grown adult. It’s well documented Michael dabbled with drugs alcohol and depression for a long time, before his accident and the 2019 film maker said they found lots of older references to suicide over the years and images in his diary

I agree. The Hutchence family, or at least the ones who have gone public, seem bitter and nasty - I can see why Tiger was better off staying in the UK. I don't see how Helena is guilty of anything, based on that story.

 

[despair]

In her defence her mum and dad were dreadful, she didn’t have a stable loving upbringing, her mum left her with her dad who was mentally unstable. A lot of her attention seeking behaviour came from that. And then to find out he wasn’t actually her biological dad! To be fair her mum was a terrible woman who should never have had a child. Paula I think tried to give her kids the childhood she didn’t have but was too damaged to do it. Bob was very controlling, I think eventually she just had enough.

I’m sorry but how do we excuse terrible mothering by her parents? Many many people have appalling upbringings and don’t go on to be selfish horrible parents.
This woman had money and access to help. We have no idea who was more controlling in their relationship or who cheated first or the most? I feel sorry for Bob married to that as much as her married to him. At the centre of this were children. Innocent children.
One who killed herself trying to be her mother, another who won’t have children due to her upbringing and yet who tries to look like her mother, another who just about seems ok and a 4th who’s parents were both dead from drugs by age 4?
How can that be excused.

And tbf, she died 22 years ago. In that time, Bob has raised the girls quietly, he has been with a partner for many many years, again quietly. They married after Peaches death. He sees his grandkids quietly and has a relationship with all his daughters.
perhaps it’s fair to say that Bob and Paula were toxic, but he’s not exactly been a public, controlling cheat for the last 22 years.

 

[cee-bee]

Can’t remember if Pixie was as private before Peaches‘ death? Or was it some kind of reaction? As a teenager she clearly wasn’t.

pixie was pretty high profile in the sense that she started modelling, partying in Camden, made a go of a music career and she got all of the tabloid attention that comes with that. I don’t remember her ever specifically courting it though? Whenever she seemed to make a comment on something it usually seemed to be to promote environmental issues she supported etc.

Peaches was … tabloid crazy from her teens. She wrote columns but she also just, acted like an idiot for attention. She got married in her teens and moved to the states and kicked up a stint with her awful column (that she only got because of nepotism) and just always came out with bonkers statements that looking back, looked like complete vys for attention.

she started a column with Elle magazine (I think it was her first one) that I remember reading. Her dad had negotiated the contract for her (naturally). I was a little bit younger than Peaches but I remember reading it and she came across so badly, she was wearing a white Tshirt with a “i heart New York” slogan and a white lace skirt beside the column. Even as a young teen I remember thinking her writing about how normal she was, flying commercial - while she wrote in a high profile magazine gig that Daddy got for her - was just so off.

she wrote/talked at length about every detail of her private life to an extent that pixie (and Fifi and Tiger) never did. In that sense she was very similar to Paula, who was also accused of courting the tabloids and living for attention.

maybe if her life hadn’t been cut short she’d have grown up a bit, but she definitely seemed to have a chaotic/self destructive streak inherited from Paula.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Probably been shared before but interesting: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/ev...-turned-friend-Michael-Hutchence-monster.html

So MH did go to the hospital after the injury but was discharged (?) while still very sick, and was aggressive when Helena tried to make him go back for treatment.

I've mentioned this before her so won't go into details again, but my ex husband had a car crash and had a brain injury requiring 6 hour surgery around the same time as Micheal Hutchence's accident - early 90's.
In my experience back then there was very little understanding on aftercare or how the victim's personality can change beyond recognition. After surgery we had no advice, help or warning my husband might be a different person. And he had no aftercare or counselling. None.
So I'm really not surprised about MH's lack of treatment or aftercare. Or that he or Helena even thought help could or should be sought after the actual event. The care was so basic not even that long ago really.