Part Time Working Mummy #9

GiveMyHeadPeace said:

She takes queries from mothers suffering from PND? She works with adoptive children?

Along with being a DA saviour, She seems to have expertise in so many different areas. WTF is this nonsense. How did so many people fall for it and still do?!

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Now then, I'm (happily) adopted, albeit a long time ago. It's one of my interests.This is utter crap. Adoptive parents welcome their new child into their home after a long period of checking and matchmaking, with support from social services and usually an adoption agency, That's it. The process isn't out there on a stage for a random lass from Devon to swoop into.

I guess there may be support groups for people going through the process of adoption but she shouldn't have been allowed to be part of that. Much of the surrounding safeguarding around adoption is to protect the child in their new home/identity.

Everything I see now is utter bollocks. It's driving me up the wall!

Lucyinthesky88 said:

Same, sorry if it came out wrong. I have a mental health condition too and can do majority of those things but what I meant was if she was suffering with poor mental health that was causing her to behave in ways such as stealing money, compulsive lying, grooming etc, i personally feel that other area of her life would be affected by the condition too, does that make sense? But as I said, I don’t work in mental health and the only experience I have is my own and I know that when I’m struggling with my mental health condition, all of the day to day things become difficult and some slide.

Sorry if I caused any offence, I’m tired and not 100% sure I’ve made my point properly :/ x

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I took it that you meant PTWM can't play the I didnt know what I was doing card because I suffer mental health issues due to my childhood. I do think this will be one of the possible tactics she tries to use unfortunately along with a few others that have already been mentioned.

Wotsit said:

I took it that you meant PTWM can't play the "I didnt know what I was doing card because I suffer mental health issues due to my childhood" I do think this will be one of the possible tactics she tries to use unfortunately along with a few others that have already been mentioned.

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Yes that’s what I meant. If she’s able to hold down so many important jobs and her kids are well cared for etc how can her mental health issues be causing her to behave erratically? Surely if you genuinely couldn’t control it, the negative impact would affect EVERY aspect of your life, not just one part?

Lucyinthesky88 said:

Same, sorry if it came out wrong. I have a mental health condition too and can do majority of those things but what I meant was if she was suffering with poor mental health that was causing her to behave in ways such as stealing money, compulsive lying, grooming etc, i personally feel that other area of her life would be affected by the condition too, does that make sense? But as I said, I don’t work in mental health and the only experience I have is my own and I know that when I’m struggling with my mental health condition, all of the day to day things become difficult and some slide.

Sorry if I caused any offence, I’m tired and not 100% sure I’ve made my point properly :/ x

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No I totally get what you mean . I didn’t think you were being offensive at all. In my experience (I work in perinatal mental health not adult service , although perinatal is adult ) there are many women who mask their illness and bubble away on the surface as functioning - her behaviour may be symptom of her mental illness equally.... if at all she has a mental health condition (which I strongly suspect ) however I don’t know that’s just my personal opinion . Everyone’s mental health is different and everyone “functions “ at a different level. One thing working in acute mental health has taught me is that people who are very unwell are often very good at hiding it !

However I do know you didn’t mean offence .... As much as I dislike her behaviour and believe it’s so wrong , part of me wants to believe there is someone cause for it so it’s not just a down right awful person (which it could be)

Mayday said:

I feel like if you had a genuine mental health problem that was causing that behaviour (narcissistic personality? muchasen?), you would get help for it and not just keep conning people out of money...especially when some of her followers are vulnerable and might have mental health issues as a result of what they've been through too.

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This would depend if you recognise you had a mental health condition , if you were accepting of it and if you were well enough to access help?

It's all this 'i've been working with warriors, women in refuge, mothers had there kids taken away etc etc etc' when she says 'working with' what does that physically mean?

Kbird said:

It's all this 'i've been working with warriors, wimen in refuge, mothers had there kids taken away etc etc etc' when she says 'working with' what does that physically mean?

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"Getting messages from" probably

Kbird said:

It's all this 'i've been working with warriors, wimen in refuge, mothers had there kids taken away etc etc etc' when she says 'working with' what does that physically mean?

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Searching for people on the internet to claim as her trophies ? Thirsty work innit

Lucyinthesky88 said:

Yes that’s what I meant. If she’s able to hold down so many important jobs and her kids are well cared for etc how can her mental health issues be causing her to behave erratically? Surely if you genuinely couldn’t control it, the negative impact would affect EVERY aspect of your life, not just one part?

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Exactly! She's definatley got issues of some sort with the narcissism and constant need for attention.

HavinAPop said:

No I totally get what you mean . I didn’t think you were being offensive at all. In my experience (I work in perinatal mental health not adult service , although perinatal is adult ) there are many women who mask their illness and bubble away on the surface as functioning - her behaviour may be symptom of her mental illness equally.... if at all she has a mental health condition (which I strongly suspect ) however I don’t know that’s just my personal opinion . Everyone’s mental health is different and everyone “functions “ at a different level. One thing working in acute mental health has taught me is that people who are very unwell are often very good at hiding it !

However I do know you didn’t mean offence .... As much as I dislike her behaviour and believe it’s so wrong , part of me wants to believe there is someone cause for it so it’s not just a down right awful person (which it could be)

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Very true, I do too often forget that there are so many different types of mental health condition and that we are all unique therefore they affect us all differently.

If there is a mental health aspect to this, would that not make Josh more culpable? Assuming he’s at least aware of her behaviour? I don’t know how much he knows about her online life, the articles she’s written or interviews she’s done and how far from the truth they are but he seems to be with her a lot and by their own admission they are very close and spend as much time together as possible. It seems unlikely therefore that he is unaware of her behaviour and if that’s the case then why is he not putting a stop to it? Getting her help or whatever. You’d think it would be in his best interests considering his career.

Lucyinthesky88 said:

Very true, I do too often forget that there are so many different types of mental health condition and that we are all unique therefore they affect us all differently.

If there is a mental health aspect to this, would that not make Josh more culpable? Assuming he’s at least aware of her behaviour? I don’t know how much he knows about her online life, the articles she’s written or interviews she’s done and how far from the truth they are but he seems to be with her a lot and by their own admission they are very close and spend as much time together as possible. It seems unlikely therefore that he is unaware of her behaviour and if that’s the case then why is he not putting a stop to it? Getting her help or whatever. You’d think it would be in his best interests considering his career.

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The Josh thing REALLY baffles me.... I think if she had a serious mental health condition and is that manipulative is it a case of him being in an emotional unstable / abusive manipulative relationship ? Does he feel trapped , unable to cope or is he actually just bent ? And the pair of them believe they are untouchable?

FromOopNorth said:

I've voted and asked him a question, not related to PTWM though. I think I have a little bit of a mam crush on him naa, he's a lovely lad, I love what he's doing

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Me too Haha, hes so lovely to chat to, we've talked about all sorts to the point I feel guilty taking up his time haha

Notnastyjustlovetoread said:

View attachment 30280

I hope more people come across here to find out what R is really like

Edited to add this is on messiahkateo’s q&a on his stories

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I added it to my story ad well - nothing to stop anyone doing the same

HavinAPop said:

The Josh thing REALLY baffles me.... I think if she had a serious mental health condition and is that manipulative is it a case of him being in an emotional unstable / abusive manipulative relationship ? Does he feel trapped , unable to cope or is he actually just bent ? And the pair of them believe they are untouchable?

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I have a feeling they might feel untouchable in their little corner of Devon. That's not the real world though.

He looks hard done by and fed up, to be honest. Her feed is just needy pics R is taking of him on one of her many phones, of him looking at his own phone or looking bored in waiting rooms or mopping the floor. The genuine love you saw in the wedding pics and before (her photographers wedding album is online if you search for it) ain't visible anymore.

I know relationships get comfy and all that, but it is well documented that those who shout about their love the most loudly are the ones who feel they don't have it

Lucyinthesky88 said:

Very true, I do too often forget that there are so many different types of mental health condition and that we are all unique therefore they affect us all differently.

If there is a mental health aspect to this, would that not make Josh more culpable? Assuming he’s at least aware of her behaviour? I don’t know how much he knows about her online life, the articles she’s written or interviews she’s done and how far from the truth they are but he seems to be with her a lot and by their own admission they are very close and spend as much time together as possible. It seems unlikely therefore that he is unaware of her behaviour and if that’s the case then why is he not putting a stop to it? Getting her help or whatever. You’d think it would be in his best interests considering his career.

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I'm starting to think that josh believes, and has been taken in by all her lies. That's the only thing I can think of that would explain why he goes along with it all, bending over backwards for her because he feels sorry for her and 'knows' how hard she had it as a child/young adult?? Over compensating almost because her father let her down so badly (according to her), he possibly feels the need to go above and beyond??

Blablabluergh said:

Me too Haha, hes so lovely to chat to, we've talked about all sorts to the point I feel guilty taking up his time haha

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I'll get brave and give him a shout one day. I said ages ago, when this is all over I'll dox myself and meet everyone here for a beer!

Jojo576 said:

I'm starting to think that josh believes, and has been taken in by all her lies. That's the only thing I can think of that would explain why he goes along with it all, bending over backwards for her because he feels sorry for her and 'knows' how hard she had it as a child/young adult?? Over compensating almost because her father let her down so badly (according to her), he possibly feels the need to go above and beyond??

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I think this I think .... if R is really as manipulating as it appears it would be easy for her to do the same to josh.

The thought that would go into manipulating everyone though would be a full blown job in itself. Honestly the front you would put on in the beginning surely would slip after 5/6 years.

HavinAPop said:

I think this I think .... if R is really as manipulating as it appears it would be easy for her to do the same to josh.

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He used to talk sense...


Mood

FromOopNorth said:

I have a feeling they might feel untouchable in their little corner of Devon. That's not the real world though.

He looks hard done by and fed up, to be honest. Her feed is just needy pics R is taking of him on one of her many phones, of him looking at his own phone or looking bored in waiting rooms or mopping the floor. The genuine love you saw in the wedding pics and before (her photographers wedding album is online if you search for it) ain't visible anymore.

I know relationships get comfy and all that, but it is well documented that those who shout about their love the most loudly are the ones who feel they don't have it

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I so agree with this. He never laughs when she's joking with him or calling him a good boy. Just has the same rigid expression on his face.
I have a friend on facebook who treated her husband in a very similar way. Belittling him while filming it then posting on fb (i don't think she saw it as belittlig, she found it hilarious) i would cringe so much watching it, he would never really react just be stoney faced. She also did the siding with her kids when he tried to discipline them. Her posts would be gushing about how he was the perfecr man, how in love they were and how perfect their little family were. Always posting pics of presents he had spontaniously bought her and I always thought it strange when he didn't seem the type, i always suspected she nagged on about wanting him to buy for her so he would just for a quiet life. But then she could brag about it.
Anyway after 5 years of marriage the next thing you know they have split up. No one knows why or what went on but I suspect one day he just had enough. She also seemed to live her life on SM desperate to potray this idylic life. So busy living life on SM in reality it was all falling apart. Just my theory, and I would never ever wish a break up on anyone.
Again similarly to R she would also post about any good deed she might do eg she helped an old lady cross the road, helped someone who had fallen over. Then act like she was a saint and the only person in the world to ever do a good deed. Needed the praise and recogition.
We all do good kind things but just don't feel the need to have to post it on SM to get the thanks. We just get on with it!

Jojo576 said:

I'm starting to think that josh believes, and has been taken in by all her lies. That's the only thing I can think of that would explain why he goes along with it all, bending over backwards for her because he feels sorry for her and 'knows' how hard she had it as a child/young adult?? Over compensating almost because her father let her down so badly (according to her), he possibly feels the need to go above and beyond??

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I agree, though the only thing that has thrown that into confusion for me is the situation with the boys mum. If he’s genuinely a decent bloke, good police officer and great dad, loving husband and stepdad etc, why would he go to such lengths (and condone Rachel doing the same) to keep the boys from their mum? Unless that was all just another strand of Rachel’s manipulation and she convinced him he was doing what was best because she was the best mum the boys could have? Hence the tattoos of his boys names etc.

All supposition but it doesn’t quite add up to me that a straight decent copper who’s still in his job despite investigation would be privy to all the dark sides of his wife and just let it go.