I have a 3 year old and I was open in theory to the idea of having another - haven't completely shut that avenue off - but as time goes by I'm more and more content with the idea that our family is complete. I didn't have a hard pregnancy really - just don't want to go through all that again. And seeing a friend who has a toddler and a baby - she has a lot to deal with and it made me realise I don't want to go through all that.
My daughter is happy and healthy and we are so lucky. She goes to nursery and gets so much out of that and being around other children. I have other things I want to do in my life and feel I'm a good mother now. I'm not sure I could be a good mother to more than one child. And the main reason is that deep down I don't want to be. It would be a terrible thing just to have another child due to external pressure, real or imagined.
Guilt is so pernicious isn't it. I recently read Motherhood: a Manifesto by Eliane Glaser and really recommend it. It's about motherhood in general rather than this particular issue but it highlights how it's convenient for society to make mothers feel guilty rather than address the real structural issues. Really helped with my guilt!
My daughter is happy and healthy and we are so lucky. She goes to nursery and gets so much out of that and being around other children. I have other things I want to do in my life and feel I'm a good mother now. I'm not sure I could be a good mother to more than one child. And the main reason is that deep down I don't want to be. It would be a terrible thing just to have another child due to external pressure, real or imagined.
Guilt is so pernicious isn't it. I recently read Motherhood: a Manifesto by Eliane Glaser and really recommend it. It's about motherhood in general rather than this particular issue but it highlights how it's convenient for society to make mothers feel guilty rather than address the real structural issues. Really helped with my guilt!