One Day of Winter

[GreyWolf]

I think I did it in instagrammers under “one day of winter”. I don’t know how to tag admin

But yes, you’re so right in what you’ve said

Ahh I think I only searched with it joined up. I put it here because she uses her kid.
@Helen can you link the 2 threads in the right place?

Moderator: Now merged with original thread

 

[EyesOpened123]

I think everything she posts doescome from a lovely, well meaning place but I have to say I have unfollowed recently. Her posts made me feel bad about the times my gentle parenting goes awry and I get shouty and stressed. I think her unique perspective on being a Mum (something I don’t want to bring up on here, seems v wrong to mention) is where her approach comes from. I like to follow people that give me joy but the past few months her posts have made me feel inadequate and pretty rubbish in comparison

 

[GreyWolf]

I think everything she posts doescome from a lovely, well meaning place but I have to say I have unfollowed recently. Her posts made me feel bad about the times my gentle parenting goes awry and I get shouty and stressed. I think her unique perspective on being a Mum (something I don’t want to bring up on here, seems v wrong to mention) is where her approach comes from. I like to follow people that give me joy but the past few months her posts have made me feel inadequate and pretty rubbish in comparison

I agree with what you are saying and somehow she makes me feel really crap. I quite often start replying responses that try to put different perspectives but don’t feel these comments are well received.
I also feel increasingly uncomfortable about the amount of their lives that is dominated by the past and the potential effects for a child growing up under that. I mean for the child not a judgement on how much her loss affects her. I don’t feel this is why she parents that way, I think she would’ve parented all her children this way.
Anyway I have touched on it there but I’m often taken aback by her posts.

 

[Lalaloopsy]

I would call myself a “gentle parent” but I absolutely discipline! To me gentle parenting isn’t about not teaching discipline, but approaching it in a different way. No I wouldn’t want to shout or use things like naughty steps or punishments, but I absolutely wouldn’t let my child run wild or make a mess everywhere.
I don’t really know much about this girl so I’m not pointing the finger at her but some people give gentle parenting a bad name. It’s absolutely not about letting children do whatever they want.

 

[EmilyChambers]

Anyone seen the kitchen floor in her latest stories?

I gentle parent, however there are rules and boundaries and my child can behave and doesn't run wild, never has.

 

[Bibbydebob]

It’s on her instagram bio that she homeschools

 

[erin182]

It’s on her instagram bio that she homeschools

Not sure how you homeschool a 2 year old given that they’re not supposed to be in school yet ha

 

[Gemma87]

She’s an infant teaching assistant, so I’m assuming she agrees with the school structure and school in general. Yet she’s clearly saying she’s going to home school. I think she’s lost her way a bit, the stories yesterday of her seemingly quite stressed that R wouldn’t go in her car seat (again) were uncomfortable to watch. Just put her in the damn seat! She won’t be able ask her Mum for a boob when she’s 18 and doesn’t want to go to work! (Or will she )

 

[Tashameat]

I really want to love her because I've followed since Winter but I can't help but feel for her poor husband. Have they gotten intimate since Raven? Seeing as they're in a family sleeping situation. They are both so young surely they need alone time and I get that they both obviously want to parent that way but there has to be a degree of intimacy in a marriage

 

[Noname123]

The state of her kitchen floor in her latest stories! What on Earth is that all about? She’s literally let her do the big art attack on the floor with chalk. Ridiculous!

 

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

She’s an infant teaching assistant, so I’m assuming she agrees with the school structure and school in general. Yet she’s clearly saying she’s going to home school. I think she’s lost her way a bit, the stories yesterday of her seemingly quite stressed that R wouldn’t go in her car seat (again) were uncomfortable to watch. Just put her in the damn seat! She won’t be able ask her Mum for a boob when she’s 18 and doesn’t want to go to work! (Or will she )

I thought this - I know she’s tired but sometimes we have to do things that we may not want to. Including get in the car seat/brush our teeth/go to school. I’ve loved lots of what she’s posted about parenting, and I’ll take those bits, but children need boundaries!

 

[erin182]

I really want to love her because I've followed since Winter but I can't help but feel for her poor husband. Have they gotten intimate since Raven? Seeing as they're in a family sleeping situation. They are both so young surely they need alone time and I get that they both obviously want to parent that way but there has to be a degree of intimacy in a marriage

I’m sure I read a reply from her on a comment about this. She said she usually has sex on the couch and she only associates her bed with sleeping. My daughter HATES having to share a bed with me on the odd occasion we have and so do I tbh children quite like their own space, I don’t see why she has to be so insistent they all share a bed.

 

[Mycuppatea]

I really want to love her because I've followed since Winter but I can't help but feel for her poor husband. Have they gotten intimate since Raven? Seeing as they're in a family sleeping situation. They are both so young surely they need alone time and I get that they both obviously want to parent that way but there has to be a degree of intimacy in a marriage

We slept with both our children - we all full time shared one massive bed until the youngest was around six. They had their own rooms and beds but didn't use them and we never forced the issue because they were processing trauma for years and just liked us being there all night. I had plenty of intimate moments with my husband, just not in our bed - not going to lie, though - having "grown up time" in our own bed and then rolling over to go to sleep felt like a delicious luxury once they were in their rooms more or less full time.

 

[DiscoBiscuit]

The whole 'I won't discipline her for breaking her toys' post was the moment I unfollowed. So your gentle parented child breaks MY childs toy and what is the consequence of that? It's all very twee and novel but once she starts socialising and interacting with more children what resilience is she arming her with?

This was something I wondered too. Imagine they're out somewhere and there are other kids around. One of them has a toy and Raven wants it. She snatches it away, won't give it back and breaks it. What happens then? Because if I was the parent of the other child in that situation I'd damn well want to see some discipline!

I also get the impression that Dean isn't always 100% on board. Several times she's mentioned "having to convince him" about the home schooling thing, and has written "please let me home school Dean" on her posts too.

The state of the house also confuses me. She has one kid and I'm sure she once said she works 10 hours a week. I get that parenting can be hard work, I'm one myself, but there are parents out there with more kids and working more hours than her, and they manage to keep a tidy house. She says she wants more kids, but she seems to struggle with domestic life with the one she's got.

 

[Noname123]

This was something I wondered too. Imagine they're out somewhere and there are other kids around. One of them has a toy and Raven wants it. She snatches it away, won't give it back and breaks it. What happens then? Because if I was the parent of the other child in that situation I'd damn well want to see some discipline!

I also get the impression that Dean isn't always 100% on board. Several times she's mentioned "having to convince him" about the home schooling thing, and has written "please let me home school Dean" on her posts too.

The state of the house also confuses me. She has one kid and I'm sure she once said she works 10 hours a week. I get that parenting can be hard work, I'm one myself, but there are parents out there with more kids and working more hours than her, and they manage to keep a tidy house. She says she wants more kids, but she seems to struggle with domestic life with the one she's got.

I personally wouldn’t be able to live with that amount of mess around me. Still not over the massive chalk scribble across the entire kitchen floor.

She probs wants to home school so that she can breast feed for even longer and film it for us all to see with that creepy, confusing smile she does.

 

[erin182]

I don’t get constantly filming herself breastfeeding and posting it on insta. Like what’s she trying to do? Normalise breastfeeding? It’s nothing new. Pretty sure the vast majority of her followers are mums already and don’t need preaching to about breastfeeding. By all means take as many pictures/videos you want but no one is assed and no one wants to see it.

 

[BethanyGilbert]

Surely we all gentle parent toddlers. I’ve never yelled at my toddler and she is much older than Raven?

 

[String Man]

I have no particular issue with extended breastfeeding (well, obviously not talking about teenagers) but phrases like "boobie milk" and "mumma milk" make me gag.

 

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

Talking about Ravens eating - all good yep it varies day to day even, but she prefers sitting ON the table or from your lap? WHAT?! I don’t know any 2 year old who sits ON the table to eat, they have a highchair or a seat at the table. I really am for letting them be little, but come on? Eventually she’ll have to sit normally!

 

[Mumofthree1225]

Talking about Ravens eating - all good yep it varies day to day even, but she prefers sitting ON the table or from your lap? WHAT?! I don’t know any 2 year old who sits ON the table to eat, they have a highchair or a seat at the table. I really am for letting them be little, but come on? Eventually she’ll have to sit normally!

It’s ridiculous isn’t it. She just doesn’t ever want to discipline Raven or tell her no so it makes her tantrum. Kids can be little shits but she lets her control everything and it’s leading to a feral child (or a little free spirited wildling )