One Day Of Winter #4 Reading this thread ‘isn’t her jam’, meanwhile R's got the baby in a choke slam.

[Hollyxx]

I’ve had two children and one currently around the same age as R, I am a gentle parent but not a permissive parent. I honestly can’t even imagine either of my kids hitting anyone at all I would feel awful. Also.... the hitting them and hitting a teacher is surely a control/power thing which is quite telling. She talks about gentle parenting but actually R’s behaviour shows that R has developed issues surrounding adults which is bizarre as surely if Nicolas style of parenting is as amazing as she makes out then surely R would have good attachment with adults. She will determine that R hits adults because they are her ‘safe space’ etc etc but I would argue that my children see me as their safe space but we also have a loving and non violent relationship. She is starting to see that her style of parenting is all jolly and lovely while they are babies and aged 2 when you can forgive their behaviour etc. But when they hit 4 and 10 and 15.... this is where the tit hits the fan. Is she going to describe R’s behaviour as letting out her emotions etc when she is 14 in the back of a corsa going off for a fight in the park??

 

[Sven]

She’ll be one of these kids at secondary school who have no respect for the school/teachers because their parents have taught them they can do what they like. Funnily enough they’re the ones assaulting the other students and disrupting learning of others.

 

[sunchaser19]

She’ll be one of these kids at secondary school who have no respect for the school/teachers because their parents have taught them they can do what they like. Funnily enough they’re the ones assaulting the other students and disrupting learning of others.

she won’t be going to secondary school, Pea will find her some CBeebies GCSE books to complete I’m sure.

and yes, Raven has hit Ember. My friend said she has and that Pea didn’t take it very seriously at all.
Raven would be much better behaved if she wasn’t with pea so much. Her own mum is turning her in to an awful human being.

 

[Cubalibra]

I read through the GP forum comments. Im genuinely shocked at some of the replies. How can mums be so submissive to such aggressive behaviour? Yes meeting aggression with aggression doesn’t work but a child needs to know when they have over stepped the mark. The poor mum is getting sworn at, so she removed his ipad. Sarah cock face’s replied made out she was a horrific mother for taking the ipad away. I believe in certain aspect of gentle parenting but i do not agree with swearing and hitting. It may be ‘only’ words to these mums but it is not socially acceptable to go around swearing and hitting when you cant get your way!

 

[Hunztheword]

Sarah OC’s suggested solution was so unrealistic! I did notice that a couple of people had replied saying that it’s not possible to be a gentle parent 24/7 when you have two children, and sometimes you’ve just gotta what works. I’m glad some of them live in the real world!

 

[Smiffy1990]

Yes Sarah dickwell smiths reply was just awful in my opinion. But it shows where nicola gets her complete permissive parenting from because she is so far uo her arse. She idolises the woman.

 

[maytoseptember]

What was the reply? I’m not going to join that group

 

[Smiffy1990]

What was the reply? I’m not going to join that group

So the kid isn't in the wrong for hitting, kicking, screaming and swearing it's the mums fault and now she needs it give the ipad back and apologise to him
It's no wander nicola is so permissive when this is who she worships.

 

[AfroCircus]

Gentle parenting is misogyny by another name.

 

[justfortonight]

So the kid isn't in the wrong for hitting, kicking, screaming and swearing it's the mums fault and now she needs it give the ipad back and apologise to him
It's no wander nicola is so permissive when this is who she worships.

Wow I thought Nicola had written that herself, she certainly does view this woman as some sort of god, they sound exactly the same as each other!

If this is her brand of parenting, I wouldn’t call it gentle at all. Why are new babies treated like inconveniences? And to blame for their siblings bad behaviour? I agree that older children need one on one time and attention when a new sibling arrives, but that shouldn’t come at the price of a small baby’s basic needs. You’re only being gentle to one child - it doesn’t make any sense!

 

[Sven]

I mostly like Sarah Ockwell-Smiths stuff but that’s just stupid. Things do need consequences!

 

[Hollyxx]

Does this sarah actually have older kids? As in... has she used her parenting technique all through a child’s life through teens and into early twenties etc?

 

[Hunztheword]

Gentle parenting is misogyny by another name.

More like privilege by another name IMO

 

[AfroCircus]

More like privilege by another name IMO

You're right. I only say misogyny because it always seems to be the mothers at fault. But it is absolutely privilege speaking.

 

[Gooseyloo]

Christ you can smell the resentment towards Ember in her most recent grid post.

 

[EyesOpened123]

Her latest post makes my heart ache for Ember. It’s such a strange way to view being a mum of 2....the situation is so bizarre. Will Ember always be put second? So sad

 

[justfortonight]

Her latest post makes my heart ache for Ember. It’s such a strange way to view being a mum of 2....the situation is so bizarre. Will Ember always be put second? So sad

Every post just makes me feel sadder and sadder for Ember. I hope she’s at least very bonded with Dean as Nicola is obviously too busy watching Raven turn into the ‘amazing little person she is’ yeah and an amazingly violent little person at that

 

[maytoseptember]

You're right. I only say misogyny because it always seems to be the mothers at fault. But it is absolutely privilege speaking.

Maybe misogyny isn’t the right word as such, but I’m not sure it’s privilege either. I’ve read articles over the years about extended breastfeeding / attachment parenting being oppressive to women (preventing them from being able to work) or as Hadley Freeman put it, masochism.

Attachment parenting: the best way to raise a child – or maternal masochism?

It’s the fashionable approach to parenting in the west, with an emphasis on baby-wearing, co-sleeping and long-term breastfeeding. But does it make for happier, better children?

www.theguardian.com

 

[Whatajoker]

Her latest post makes my heart ache for Ember. It’s such a strange way to view being a mum of 2....the situation is so bizarre. Will Ember always be put second? So sad

That post is heartbreaking. Feeding the baby. Her name is Ember. She’s your daughter. The daughter you chose you have and clearly bleeping resent. You think she’s the reason that R is a devil. Feeding the ‘baby’ is such a special thing, yet here again she’s a bleeping inconvenience.

She’s lost a son for gods sake. Yet here she is, willing her newborn daughter away.

 

[Sven]

I wish someone would call her out. Poor ember