One Day of Winter #2 Slop for dinner, nips on tap, Dads not allowed to help with naps!

[Me&My]

Yeh because maths at 8.30pm at night for a 3 year old is great education! Not like most 3 year olds who will be tucked up in bed at a reasonable hour, the mastermind child herself HAS to be filmed counting her marbles which might I add are probably Deans which he lost a long time ago letting a child dictate his whole life.

Also the smarmy picture this morning, ‘thank you for all your advice’ but I’m not going to take it. You can shove it up your arses because pea does what pea wants which is actually what Raven wants because god forbid she ever hears the word No! That is swearing in the crunchy household

 

[justfortonight]

Yeah she’s shattered because she’s up until 11pm most nights Nicola! God where to even begin with that post! ‘Hitty’ and ‘throwy’ bloody hell what infantile words to describe your child’s bad behaviour

Sorry but I don’t understand how any child grows up to be a well rounded person with NO discipline whatsoever

 

[Maryberry]

Surely Raven wil have eaten food during the day so her wanted milk is just a want , where as the baby actually needs milk to grow and thrive !
I don’t understand how pea can’t see this .

 

[Peakyblinders]

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The post on Facebook for those who can’t see. Sounds like ember is still the second thought, makes me so sad.

(thought I’d left the group but turns out I just had it on mute)

STOP FUCKING NURSING THE 3.5 YEAR OLD!

 

[maytoseptember]

Of course bed time is “easy” when you have no routine or structure, no pyjamas or vague set bedtime, you just sit around downstairs waiting for your child to get so exhausted they fall asleep on the sofa

Isn’t it funny: if a working class single mum, living in poverty, deprived background etc parented like that, it would be seen as borderline neglectful. But when it gets co-opted by more educated, more middle class women, it’s a sign of how you’re totally child-led and completely devoted to their needs

 

[FraggleRock]

That post is ridiculous. What the hell does she expect people to say? She point blank shouldn’t be leaving her newborn crying for food in another part of the house so she can settle her nearly 4 year old ‘back to sleep’. It’s neglect. Has she never thought oh maybe if Raven went to sleep initially in a bed ‘the sleep space’ whatever, she would stay asleep and not be woken during a pointless transfer? If I didn’t know better it seems to me Nicola loves all the ‘mamas I need your help, here’s a photo of my norks’ and the ‘you do you mama’ validation. It makes my teeth itch, she’s making problems where there don’t need to be any. Stevie wonder could see how to solve this - TELL YOUR 3.5 YEAR OLD NO AND GO TO SLEEP.

I thought the same when I read this, how can she think it’s acceptable to sort out Queen Raven when her bloody newborn is screaming downstairs because she’s hungry. Fucking ridiculous! Yet again, Raven comes first. I don’t understand why she’s had another child if she’s just going to put Raven first constantly, it is neglectful. Im sure she won’t get comments calling her out on this though. Dean should be taking Raven and settling her to sleep, let her have a bloody meltdown, she needs to realise the whole world doesn’t revolve around her.

 

[Belulah]

i nursed mine to 16
months so not extended bf to this degree but long enough
look at the way ravens dangling off the end of it that must be agonising!!!

The new paragraph made it look like very extended feeding!

 

[EmilyChambers]

Regardless of what parenting style you choose to follow, surely you cannot be that dim to work out that it's easier to settle a child in their bed rather than downstairs and carry them up?

Even if you all share the same bed, settle them in the bed.

I switch between feeling sorry for her and then thinking she's a twat. She comes across as vulnerable then comes across as self absorbed twat who acts as smug as fuck.

She's in too far over her head and cannot and won't accept that she's pandered Raven far too much. She used to say you can never spoil a child with your time and love but look now, she's done it to the point of still putting Ravens wants above the needs of embers.

Want and need and are totally different and she needs to get a grip of this.

I think we were half joking when we said Raven would take the breast off the baby, seemingly we were right!

 

[FraggleRock]

I’m absolutely flabbergasted and disgusted by her stories this morning, shoving her newborn off into another room so she can settle Ray... what the actual f**k! Ember is the newborn here, her needs come first, she ‘desperately’ wanted this baby and the minute things get tough, she’s relegated to another room, away from her mum with her Dad because Raven is unsettled, Raven should’ve been taken into another bloody room with Dean. It’s obvious they’ve made no attempts to talk about the baby with R and how things are going to change and that she will be awake at night and that Pea needs to sort Ember out and R is going to have to deal with that. I genuinely hope a midwife or health visitor picks up on this, because what she’s done is ridiculous and not right at all! What an absolute shit show. I knew things would be messed up, but telling your Husband to take your newborn baby into another room because your entitled 3 year old is being a mard arse is another level entirely. I’m just shocked

 

[ceecee454]

my kids go to a primary school where there is no forest school
no allotment no pets, a small bit of grass and concrete jungle for the rest of it. where we live there are high rates of poverty and deprivation.
and you know what that school is full of some of the most wonderful, nurturing, dedicated people i’ve met. so many of the children require “more” just to achieve the standard of living many of us do, and they get it through that school.

she’s friggin delusional to think mainstream schools can’t offer over and above, because many do. her kids are gona be raised in some kid of alternative reality bubble where they have no idea about real life issues faced by so many children

 

[justfortonight]

‘Would absolutely not accept this from dad’ I think this is the biggest problem. Every time Raven has pushed Dean away (not letting him sit in the same room as her - wasn’t it? ) Nicola has facilitated that and not told her to pack it in. So now she knows if she kicks up enough of a fuss, she’ll get her way and Nicola will come to her.

I don’t think she’s a bad mum or doing a bad job, she just had this crunchy tandem feeding dream in her head and in reality - it just doesn’t work.

Nicola was always so smug about Raven never having had a sleepover, feeding her to sleep every night of her life - and now look at the mess they’re in. I can’t even think of how it could be sorted if Raven refuses to be near her own dad, be interested to see what suggestions the fellow crunchies come out with

 

[Pollyponsonby]

I wish she would give herself a break. It’s not all or nothing with parenting. You can still be gentle and have gently encourage Raven into her own room in the knowledge a new baby is coming.

Also I found it just a tiny bit weird that she didn’t chose to stay with the baby while D comforted R. I mean any parent can comfort obviously! Just if it was me in those early new born days I’d pick the easiest one to handle aka the one who can’t speak or move much

The thing that worries me about taking the newborn baby away a leaving Raven to ‘nurse’ is taking away the most beneficial colostrum that Ember should be able to to have 100%,P looks haggard and tired so imagine her body is struggling.Colostrum is there in your milk supply purely for a newborns gut health and immune system,a 3 year old should not be stealing it!
And is this really necessary?

 

[SilverSpoonNotIncluded]

Preloved reusables? So used reuseables from another arse and been full to the brim of another child’s faeces? I’m all for a bit of sustanability but I’m sorry I know moneys tight because poor Dean works his arse off for Pea to spend all day whinging she’s tired (also pre-pregnancy) but this is just next level.. BUY THAT BABY SOMETHING NEW FFS!!!

Find a new stick to beat her with - I have also bought preloved reusable nappies. Some bought and hardly worn, it’s good for the environment, and often cheaper too. They’ve been washed, genuinely don’t see the issue Disposables are far grosser in my opinion!

 

[Beebumble]

Let’s hope the poor NEWBORN baby doesn’t lose weight cuz her big sister is being allowed to guzzle all her milk!

 

[HerFromInTheMiddle]

Nicola has said on her post that Ember looks exactly like winter. I’m thinking ptsd

 

[EmilyChambers]

What I dont understand about peas totally permissive parenting style, oops, I mean 'gentle attachment parenting' is how does she think she is going to be able to parent the new baby?! Is newborn going to be pushed aside so that pea can continue to give raven her undivided attention? Is baby going to suffer raven being mean and aggressive for months on end because pea wont tell ray off?! All of it is so bizarre I actually connot believe they decided to have another baby while pea is still so dependent on ravens attention every second of the day.dean must feel like such a spare part in that household, seems he serves no purpose except money

That's what I genuinely don't understand. Be as gentle and compassionate as you like but when you look at how it's presented, it's madness. You've got a 3 year old who cries and screams because she doesn't want her Dad there and you don't stop it because you don't want to invalidate her feelings so you don't tell her she shouldn't be doing it. She draws over you, she makes a mess and that's OK because she's expressing herself.

She's hitting and biting staff at nursery and you are seeking advice on gentle pages on how you can discipline the nursery, not the child that needs it. She feeds through the night and you let her feed, despite having no milk because, well, it's what R wants.

What happens when the baby arrives and R screams at the baby because she doesn't want it there? What happens if R tries hurt the baby when she's feeding because as far as she is concerned, the boobs belong to her?

Every toddler reacts negatively to a newborn so I can only imagine R going off the scale so at what point does R get boundaries? She doesn't get told off by you for biting staff and instead you are across at the Nursery for being negative, what will you do if she bites the baby?

Its going to be a shit show and I bet she doesn't show any of it.

3 year olds can all have episodes of being little dicks in a "normal" upbringing with normal boundaries, imagine trying to teach a 3 year old with no boundaries that all of a sudden there is actually things they can't do?

 

[justfortonight]

Haven’t commented for a few days because to be honest I think it’s too early to say whether Nicola is struggling to bond with Ember. We only see snippets of their day and she could be cuddling her constantly when she’s not filming. I find it hard to believe Nicola could be detached from her because she is so obsessed with Raven, I don’t think she will treat Ember differently - they’re probably just adjusting to having a new baby in the house.

However, I’m not surprised the sleep space is causing problems, that was bound to happen. Babies cry, that was always going to be a problem with another child in the bed too.

Also found the use of the pram today surprising, I thought she would be 100% crunchy and using the sling 24/7? And why couldn’t she just let Dean and Raven go out and stay at home with the baby? She’s said she’s in a lot of pain, she needs to rest. She’s already running on empty giving every part of herself to Raven, she’s going to be in an even worse way doing it with two kids. She needs to find a balance now and let Dean take over from time to time.

Lastly I know a lot of people have said about midwives and health visitors stepping in, but Nicola’s type do NOT listen to health professionals, they think they know best and everyone else just doesn’t understand their parenting style

 

[sassmaster3000]

The post on Facebook for those who can’t see. Sounds like ember is still the second thought, makes me so sad.

(thought I’d left the group but turns out I just had it on mute)

 

[EyesOpened123]

If I were heavily pregnant and had a 3 year old at the height of a pandemic, I probably wouldn’t be rushing to get outside and meet up with people. Don’t think we can criticise her for staying at home at the moment

 

[TheLastLolo]

I cannot stand her smug face. Why do we need to watch her kiss her baby from several angles? Does she not value these moments enough not to share them all? Her maniacal smiling makes me want to headbutt her. It's not happiness at having just had a baby, it's smugness and crunchy parent points. All she's thinking about is Raven... Raven will have to lump it unfortunately. I have a feeling that no matter what is said to Raven, she'll still hoof it at the wall. The way she talks about preparing her makes me think she's talking about bringing a dangerous animal.home. Raven isn't the first child to become an older sibling.