So unfortunately this is going to be a long and serious one - TW possibly for stalking and harassment.
For background, myself and my partner bought our dream house three years ago, we live in a small cul-de-sac of only 6 houses in a small village and we are a bit out of the way so it's quite a secluded area. When we moved in we had no issues with the neighbours until our direct next door neighbour sold the house and a new neighbour moved in. I would consider us to be good neighbours, we have socialised with all our neighbours, say hello in passing and chat for a few minutes and we have even helped neighbours grit their driveways in the icy weather and helped them with their gardens (cutting grass etc.) - most of our neighbours are elderly except a family with adult children and the neighbour we are having the issue with who is a single man around his late 40s, and we are a young couple with no kids. Our house is detached so there is no issues with noise and we have a driveway for both our cars so no issues in that regard. Apart from all this we really keep ourselves to ourselves, I'm quite shy and not interested in being friends with the neighbours aside from the usual niceties.
When our previous next door neighbour moved we first met our new neighbour as he was moving into the house while we were doing some work in the front garden, we introduced ourselves, chatted a bit and that was it. We both felt he seemed a bit odd, he had moved on his own across the country with no job to go to and it was a bit unusual that he had bought the house next to us which was a fairly expensive family home when he was living on his own and had no employment. We also found out that he was looking for jobs in the area that were generally minimum wage roles (bartending, shop assistant etc.) and he previously worked in a care home, to be clear, I don't think that there's anything wrong with that but it seemed very odd when we knew how much he had paid for the house. He offered all this information without any prompting from us. Myself and my partner both found it a bit strange but thought he likely had family money and a big deposit or something and never thought too much of it after that. In the two years he has lived there he has got a few jobs here and there and been sacked from every single one, he seems to rub a lot of people up the wrong way and I do find he comes across as a bit arrogant and patronising which is quite strange as he is also quite soft spoken and he definitely doesn't have a tough guy persona (he reminds me of Phil Spencer lol).
The first incident happened a few months later when my partner was away for the weekend on a stag do, I was doing some work in our back garden and he popped up over the fence and started talking to me while I was obviously busy. He talked to me for 2 hours and I felt completely trapped, no matter how much I tried to politely leave the conversation he kept on going on going and asking me all manner of personal questions, he then asked me if I wanted to come over to his for dinner as I was on my own for the weekend, I hadn't told him this and I felt sick at his words, I made an excuse and left and didn't go back out again. For the whole weekend I was scared to leave the house in case I saw him. I told my partner about this and he said I was probably worried for nothing and that the guy was probably being over friendly as he doesn't know anyone in the area. I hoped that this was true but unfortunately not... over the next few months he managed to corner me multiple times when I was outside doing anything - always when my partner was not home. I chatted politely and for too long because he honestly was scaring me and I wasn't sure how he would react if I was rude or fobbed him off. The things he would try to talk about were deeply personal, asking me where I work, how much I earn, whether I work from home, he even asked me about medical issues that I have after he saw my partner bringing me home from the hospital after a surgery.
Then things started to escalate further, a few days after an incident where he had approached me while my partner was actually home and I managed to hurriedly make an excuse and dash into the house where my partner was waiting at the door for me, I got a knock on the door from said neighbour. It was on a weekday in the middle of the day when I was working from home and my partner was out at work and wouldn't be home for several hours. The neighbour told me he wanted to see a tree in our garden that was overhanging his fence as he wanted to prune it and walked into our house and through to the back without invitation to look out of the window at the tree. He then sat down at our dining room table and started questioning me, he told me that he thought my partner was abusing me as I was always nervous around him and because I wouldn't speak to him when my partner was there. I told him I was fine and there was no issue, he stayed in my house for around 45 minutes and made comments that I was "cute" and "pretty" before I eventually convinced him to leave me alone because I was working, at this point my anxiety was through the roof and after he left I had a full blown panic attack and actually had to finish work early because I was so shaken up. Since then he has knocked on the door multiple times when I am home alone, I have managed to ignore him most of the time but our door is right next to a window into our downstairs which is all open plan so if I'm downstairs he can see me through the window and he stands there until I answer. He has done various things which seem like excuses to come over and try to get into the house and on some occasions he has brought me gifts, luckily I have managed to keep him out.
Things escalated even further last week, he knocked on the door and as I was expecting a parcel I went to the door without thinking. I opened the door and he told me he wanted to "clear the air between us", he said that he thought my partner was jealous of us speaking to each other and being friends because he is a "single guy" and he seemed quite agitated and forceful I managed to get rid of him and I immediately left the house and went to work from the office instead, since this has happened I have been working in the office a lot more as I am scared to be at home on my own in case he comes over and I have noticed that he has been watching me leave and come back. I have purchased and installed a ring doorbell today and I'm hoping this will deter him from coming to the door.
As if the whole situation couldn't get any weirder, my dad called me today to say that a family member of my neighbour who he knows as they work in a shop he goes to, had warned my dad that my neighbour had been talking about me to his family saying that my partner was jealous of our friendship etc. she told him he is a real weirdo and that he is also a drug user and drug dealer! Bear in mind that my dad barely knows this girl aside from him visiting the shop that she works at (he has had parts invoiced to me at my address before so it is in their system which is how she must have known he was my dad), but she was able to provide details of who me and my partner are to my dad which makes me think that the neighbour must talk about us/me a lot.
Genuinely I'm worried that this guy is obsessed with me, I'm scared for my safety and I'm not sure if there's anything I can do about it. I'm reluctant to go to the police as I don't think he has committed a crime and I don't have any evidence. I think they would go and speak to him I'm worried that this will make things worse. Has anyone had a similar situation and what did you do?
She knows she's on camera.
