Niomi Smart #80 Charging for articles sounding like ChatGPT, she's no morals, conscience or husband to be

[Callan]

"My local lady" that can have so many meanings.

 

[kittenseer]

She is so obsessed with pretending her life is perfect, it really is tragic. Any sane person can see that there is NOTHING enviable about this relationship no matter how hard she is trying to make it look like a great love story.

It’ll only be a matter of time before she gets the ick again and then she will feel even more stuck trying to decide between saving face and not having a third broken engagement or staying with someone who gives her the heebie-jeebies.

 

[winterberry_]

It'll end in divorce.

 

[judgejohndeed]

Is she single again? Not caught up with her in a while .. what happened thought they were so inlove?!

They were…but then…something something moon…something something on the wrong path….some yoga happened…small animals were harassed…and here we are

 

[kittenseer]

I think Niomi has this fairytale idea of what it is like to have children. She wants to do a pregnancy photoshoot on a beach in Bali and go on leisurely strolls in Notting Hill pushing an expensive pram. She would also get sent so much stuff for the baby and it would give an instant boost to her content. But having kids is so. much. work. I have two and I have never worked so hard in my life. I am absolutely living my dream life being a mum but Niomi is literally such a lazy ass that it would all come as a shock to her. But of course the plan is probably to live in Bali and get a cheap full-time housekeeper/nanny while Niomi and Jamie White do some “work” while drinking cacao at a coffee shop.

 

[Mable912]

I'm super interested to see where they live as it was obviously a factor in the break up so who has conceded?

Also can't wait for her birthday what can donkey pull off hope hes been saving his pocket money because last year was a sh1t show.

In the words of Monica "it just got interesting"

I’m placing bets on either
1) Niomi has conceded
2) They haven’t actually agreed (again) and they’ll just prance around Bali ignoring the issue until their visas run out again

If Lordon has agreed to move to London I will be VERY surprised

Also, I was watching her Shed on Rightmove and she took it off the market about 4 weeks ago I forgot to say!

 

[Callan]

Oh another Substack post, with no actual useful content.

Lol for reals! She didn't have anyone showing up for her paid content so now she's doing "previews" of her "articles" lmao... good luck talking to your 4 friends on there Niomi.

Same old with her, when she did the first Yoga cert she was over the moon about it, and NOW she's saying it didn't meet her expectations
She legit says that over everything she gushes over, but later it's like no sorry, it actually sucked.

 

[coriander]

Not that I noticed but he'd post snarky stories if she was in Bali for a while that only losers and stoners can do nothing for weeks and how he's ready to get back to London to WORK, after being there for a bit, all passive aggressive, constant little digs that I personally saw as digs to Nimbobs.

He was savaged lately for his big ass rant against Veganism, deleted the post and wrote an "apology" story and lost over 3.5 subs in the last 30 days or so alone. Good job Bradders, keep failing. I love seeing it.
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Here we go again, she's doing her match game....

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Or maybe just maybe it's a thirsty frog trying to get water from your sink in a hot climate...

Why is everything with her about love and light #substack subscribe! and exploding cosmos kundalini swinging off a pole and magic signs and animals, and numbers on doors and streets, so wild!! Why is everything a fantasy story, why.

OH FFS NOT AGAIN. Why must everything be a sign?????? If I see a frog I would just think ah cute frog. If I see 11:11 I would think it is 11 minutes past 11. What fucking planet is she on

 

[Coldfeet]

Surprise wedding for her birthday?

Nah. Cold Chinese take away on a car park wall. So romantico

 

[QueenBW]

It seems the version without her photo was published in December 2017, roughly one year after the original.

These are cited on Amazon under "press":
‘Beautiful images and recipes that I can't wait to try my hand at!’ Zoella
‘Such a gorgeous book!’ Tanya Burr
‘Get your butts cooking that good stuff! It'll make you glow like Niomi’ Alfie Deyes

Of course Tanya said it was a gorgeous book, gorgeous is one of like ten words she knows

Can't believe less than a decade ago, these people enjoyed such popularity when they clearly were as vacuous and pathetic as they are now. Gleam really knew how to package turds to make them look attractive, I guess.

 

[QueenBW]

She's always on vacation, same old same old... she already said she has no responsibilities anywhere. Now India feels like home to her, always, Bali what

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Such a liar too. She feels so at home in India. Tell that to the three months you spent there, when you clearly couldn't wait to go home, Nimbot.

 

[Fuzzyslippers22]

Honestly, WTF is she doing

 

[curiouscat106]

Forgive me in advance but…
Can I just take a moment to say…

 

[Coldfeet]

It really looks like her, I can see her sweet little personality, good job

Thank you so much. 73 and my first art course-ever. I've converted a room into a studio and am LOVING trying all the techniques/ use of tools/ inks/ different types of paper. I'm only using my photography for image ideas. Our tutors are brilliant and very inspiring. Cassie has a new bed for this room and now hops in while I work. Such a great little dog.

 

[Shutterbug99]

Wish she had posted this to her grid so we could see the comments.

I can't believe she fell for his BS again. She should have cut him off completely but I was always concerned that they still followed each other on IG. Ugh!

 

[Lucia Cornelia Sulla]

I can't imagine there's much of a failure rate on those courses is there?

a friend of mine did one of these courses full of white people in Goa last year and as a person with real interest in the certification was left pretty disappointed. Not by the course itself but by the highschool vibes and competition among students to hook up with the (hot) teachers.
There was also a lot of filming and social network stuff, and because she was not enthusiastic about it, she was a bit frozen out of the group.

Not saying all places are the same or this is what is happening at the place Nims is but.....it's a whole subgenre of courses in India.

 

[chausette]

And in a hotel!

 

[melissab84]

I do wonder if she showed only their hands so people would speculate she’s back with JW1 and not JW2. I’m terribly disappointed. Knowing she now essentially monetized leaving a bad relationship only to run right back feels icky. She definitely leaned into the commenters praising her for leaving something awful to find freedom. How does that track with love always wins? No Niomi, manipulation clearly always wins.

 

[ECH]

Niomi was so obsessed with Joe that I don't think she would've cheated

 

[Jelly Bean]

We'll get a whole boring narrative about 'people who can't change their minds are not in tune with Mother Wisdom I feel so blessed my heart spoke to me' blah blah. She'll even be smug about crawling back to that eejit. Such a love story!