Niomi Smart #45 Fourchette la baguette and Donkey in the shed, are they engaged yet?

[Callan]

She doesn’t look relaxed to me, more constipated actually.. and so angry.

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All these selfies have been taken this year, but she doesn’t even look the same than a few months ago.

I mean she doesn't do anything, to me that's considered relaxing because I always have something to clean up or work on or kid to take care of lol. Looking at a grid of her pictures gives me anxiety, imagine being in a relationship with her and getting that look every day, shudder...

 

[Callan]

I will stop watching her if he becomes constantly present in her videos... wait what videos? who am I kidding the woman does 4 videos per year so we're good!

We are beyond safe!

 

[Coldfeet]

I think she looks unwell in those stories where she's moaning about her lost luggage. She also looks like she's been crying.

Also, I can't exactly pinpoint the reason why, but she looks different lately around her eyes. Has she had something done to her eyebrows or maybe some cosmetic procedure? Maybe botox when she was back home. I don't know what it is, but it's giving her quite a severe look.

Who wants to bet that a bunch of brands will 'reach out' and she'll be #kindlygifted and entire new wardrobe. Ugh.

Forky can donate his broken suitcase-- from the broche Paris trip.

 

[irvinelane]

I think there definitely could be truth in the cheating. Remember her podcast with Caggie? Nims said she’d never go back to someone who treats her the way Joe treated her - could be plausible she meant she’d never go back to someone who’s cheated.

She has some nerve to say things like that in a podcast and make it public. I mean, there will never be a good reason to cheat on someone (if he actually did), but what about the way she treated him during their relationship? She can’t say she was good and did good, and then, blame him for what he supposedly did to her. In that case, Joe could just as well say he’d never go back to someone who treats him the way she did.

 

[bluestone]

Maybe she just wants to be married, doesn't matter to whom lol.

Agree. I don't understand why she is so desperate to get married? Is her life so empty she tries to fill it up with a guy? hum, yeah, probably.

 

[Callan]

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Can't believe Niomi hid peanut butter from Joe.

Watching her old cooking vlogs I still cant get over her hiding food. Was she scared he would put on weight and spoil her pictures and videos or something?

 

[Swipeupyouguys]

What surprises me about Niomi and her family is that she doesnt seem to care about her safety. She brought home a stranger that she knew for a couple of weeks to meet her family and younger sister. What if it was a creep. And now she is going back to him maybe to live with him.

and when she is back she will go vacationing with her family again. Her life is one big empty holiday.

what also surprises me is that Niomi is always the center of attention at every event. I almost never see her on other peoples birthday parties. And somehow everyone is idolizing her in her family and friend group.

Maybe Lordon was known to her mate Sophie Deer and isn't just a random set of teeth she met at a one of his seedy wellness orgies that he organised?

I hope she does bring him back back the family holiday! Make for more interesting content than her samey same smoothie bowls and numerous bikini selfies where she is holding a book as a prop, one that she'll never make it past the first few pages of.

 

[therlieann]

Hey guys! Have been lurking for awhile but here I am dayum what happened past weeks..
So one part I missed, why do we assume Lordon organising orgies ?!

Second, its so weird how she ended up with this dude ?! So fast? She seems super unstable and needs therapy asap.

And second she looks unhappy. I used to be able to really relate to her but with this new adventure.. I just can’t. I think she is making huge mistakes!

 

[Callan]

She's still pretending she's vegan? Good lord..

 

[LolitaBlah]

She's too uptight to do any of those things. Her crazy persona that she's pushing doesn't convince me at all. I still have hope for her

 

[therlieann]

She doesn’t look relaxed to me, more constipated actually.. and so angry.

View attachment 1396831

All these selfies have been taken this year, but she doesn’t even look the same than a few months ago.

She really lost herself, you can see that in her eyes. They do not sparkle. Funny when I moved to south east Asia for a boy I was the same. I was following my ego not my heart and los the spark too.

 

[Callan]

No. Next stop the family boat yawwwwwn

You know it didn't happen if they don't take 1000 pictures of it, none of these people can enjoy anything without showing off.

 

[Callan]

Lolz from Culty's sister. Maybe after seeing this Kate will send it to her.

 

[irvinelane]

Man, was the dragon fruit juice the highlight of her day? And then what? Job done, end of the day, nothing else to post. I know how to enjoy the little things, but this is really bizarre.

 

[pointblankperiod]

Imagine Niomi in any work setting where she is required to do literally anything other than reply to fucking emails, film a scripted ad, take ig pics, and talk bullshit on a meeting saying yes or no to whatever is delivered on a plate. And all that on a busy day. Get the f outta here

 

[curiouscat106]

Wild theory but I’m wondering if Niomi and Freddy had an accidental one night stand while Joe was in India they were spending a lot of time together, just the two of them, during Vlogmas. And somehow Joe found out and that’s why everything ended so suddenly.

 

[irvinelane]

She said dream big about the future life you want to lead. OK then. So I’m gonna follow any advice from Niomi, because, you know, she is an influencer, even a role model after all, and apparently, she changed her career path and is now into copy/pasting stuff about astrology.

 

[Ciri]

Niomi Smart #46 If you need help, blink twice

Forky should take a detour from his Ibiza trip and head to Bali for an intervention.

He planned to go to Bali later this year.

 

[judgejohndeed]

PRENUP NIOMI!!

Theyre not binding here. The best chance she's got (if above plan is correct) is she comes to her senses really quickly and gets a quick divorce, the court then wouldn't apply the usual 50:50 starting point

 

[QueenBW]

Like someone else said before, different guy, same mistakes.

She really needs therapy

Although... what would we talk about on this thread if Nimbobs became a functional, emotionally intelligent woman instead of a traumatized one that seeks validation in all the wrong places? Nevermind, there's no risk of her actually going to therapy.