Niomi Smart #45 Fourchette la baguette and Donkey in the shed, are they engaged yet?

[Nitfey]

Yeah so true, Niomi's only interest seems to be her own reflection because after years of watching and following I still feel like I have no idea about who she really is and what she actually likes.

I think this is exactly what she is and what she likes. You can open her head and see this:

 

[Slaybutter]

L’Orgie is how I’m seeing it now

 

[Shutterbug99]

Ps: have you seen last joe stories ?? No mooning, no cringe fest, so wholesome in comparison to those chimpanzees 🥲
Nimbecile is really digging her hole to oblivion.

Looks like Joey is on a relaxing family holiday by the sea. Nice.

Meanwhile, Nims is manifesting suitcases, hanging out with possible cult members, and may be living in a commune. Yikes!

 

[Callan]

Niomi's friend that stylist Emily who dresses as if she had 30 seconds in a dark closet, complains every single time she takes a flight. No wonder Niomi is so dull and doesn't realize how easy she has if she surrounds herself with people like that.

^ don't even understand that she's trying to say, she makes Forky sound smart...

 

[CheshireLove]

If she wants to get rid of the shed then she would definitely sell it. No way would she let her place out on airbnb, that’s too much effort and involved.

It boils my blood a bit that this talentless nobody had 3/4 of a million pounds in the first place to buy property in London - and then flips it not long after for a profit.

 

[irvinelane]

Working hard.

 

[judgejohndeed]

I think Joe mentioned something about their sex life during their break up and she now has to furiously try and prove to him that she's got a sexy life. She really doesn't get that he couldn't care less!

100%. When they first split I thought it was the clash of work ethic. Then he dated Anna, which for me debunked that theory. But they never had any visible chemistry in videos IMO, and he started following some raunchy accounts after they split, so the sex issue seems more plausible. I think that also explains why he proposed, moved with her etc - it looks to me like the actions of someone trying to convince themselves it's not that bad being in a sexless but otherwise 'fine' relationship, and maybe things would improve when they get married/live somewhere else/lockdown is over. Plus, the way she's behaved since, frankly like a teenage boy who just discovered sex, definitely makes it seem like she thinks she has something to prove in that department

 

[Nitfey]

No helmet, deep thoughts, amazing content. What an inspiring influencer, genuine role model!

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Wait ...since the fuck when Bali sun is making nails stronger. What an idiot...perhaps start first to eat decent amount of food genius...perhaps then you will look decently and not as a human version of chaos and despair.

If you have no brain, no need a helmet to protect.

She is so obnoxiously insufferable. I have never had such an urge to slap someone so annoying dear lord.

 

[therlieann]

Never posted here before but I've been an avid reader for a while! I inadvertently found out some gossip regarding Niomi and Joe this week.. A good friend of Niomi's is also good friends with one of my friends and apparently Dreamy Joe did actually cheat on Niomi (I believe it was with Anna) Obviously gossip is just that so there's no guarantee, however based on how the story came about (Niomi & Joe weren't mentioned, my friend put 2 and 2 together when the friend said that the girl had moved to India with her fiancé for work before she found out about the cheating) I'd say it is a possibility that there's some truth to it!

Little bit gutted if it is true cause I've always had a little crush on DJ

Juicy- it would not surprise me, and it would explain het extremely weird behaviour after they broke up and trying to be like Anna.

 

[bishbabybo]

But if Joe did cheat on Niomi with Anna, in my mind there's no way in the world that Niomi would want to copy Anna. She would despise that person with all her might.

I don't really believe it, since names weren't even mentioned but who knows.

Sorry I probably should have been more clear. Her friend did confirm it was about Niomi after my friend put 2 and 2 together and asked if that was who she was talking about, when she was first telling her story she didn't say oh my friend Niomi Smart etc etc.

Obviously we'll never know the truth, I just wanted to share as I was excited to have some gossip!

 

[Clover123]

She did the same thing from forkys bed didn't she? I'm not a prude but I find it really odd when people REALLY want you to know that they've had sex, in her thousands of people that she's never met.

Yeah it reminds me of some of my male and female friends when we were all teenagers, the second each one lost their virginity it was like everything had to have an innuendo and attitude of oh yes, as a man/woman of the world now, because I have sex, I am extremely sexy when having sex and doing all of the sexy things. I found it seriously cringe at the age of 18... at 30 nims really should know better.

I think Joe mentioned something about their sex life during their break up and she now has to furiously try and prove to him that she's got a sexy life. She really doesn't get that he couldn't care less!

 

[gossipgirl777]

Want to know more about dragon fruit? Forky is here to help! He saved this to his highlights, lol.

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I watched their "getting lost in the jungle" story in his highlights the other week. *sigh* the good ole days.

 

[ILikeToWatch]

Granny T is probably holding the camera. You’re doing amazing, sweetie!

I have to say her ability to not eat is the hardest thing she’s ever worked at. I wish I could manifest being skinny.

Haha remember the housewarming card that Terrina sent her and Joe? It was pretty odd, and then weirder still that Niomi shared it in her video

 

[oshare]

I emailed Women for Women just now guys. I will not share my email, but I will let you know what they reply to me (if they reply at all!). I asked them to re-consider (aka remove lol) the partnership with her. Just have to wait and see for now. I hope they reply~ I wrote a very long email.

 

[Jenn13]

The more often you say it, the less believable it gets...

 

[lcd77]

You had Forky and his broche and other mishaps. Now prepare for Lordon and his suanas.

Also kinda grateful he has a beard now after seeing this photo

 

[pointblankperiod]

Oh, obviouslyyy! Hi Niomi, thank you for letting us know your current read
"Women who run like a headless chicken" would've fit better

 

[Clover123]

It's so cringe when people upload extremely mild hate and write a "sassy" comeback to all their followers, feels like something people did in 2010 not 2022. She must get so many random DMs, the classy move is to just block and ignore surely?!

The idea of her sat on the plane smugly correcting the grammar of some random message is really making me chuckle. Is Lordon not texting you back eh Nims?

 

[LolitaBlah]

Who is dat?? why do they all look like each other?? what is going on in Bali!!!??

 

[Callan]

Of course, I agree with this, you can change your mind or fall out of love even after 10, 20, 30 years of being together. And it’s true that at least he spared her the divorce. I don’t know what rubs me the wrong way about him, after all, countless engagements have been broken off before and there’s no shame in that.

Maybe it’s what @QueenBW said about him being just as shallow as Dimbobs because after all he fell for and stayed with her for a while and given who he dated immediately after the break up. That’s why I don’t view him as dreamy either, but rather passive and bland. Who knows though, he may have been more communicative off-camera and Niomi was simply unable to take any criticism or talk about relationship issues since everything has to be paahfect at all times.

Hope I didn't sound harsh, sorry! But hey, he made her bed every morning and packed her bags and build her furniture, he was almost more of a parent in the relationship lol. I still feel like I know very little about him, he seems decent but we only have small bits of info. Nimbobs can bend reality better than Picasso, who knows what really goes on