Niomi Smart #36 On her deathbed still talking 'bout Joe, Niomi please just Let It Go!

[irvinelane]

How we maintained so chirpy and happy I have no idea!

Do you really look chirpy and happy, you moron? I mean, could you look more desperate?

The first question I have in mind is: how on Earth did they manage to get lost? Were they trying to get it done in the jungle and ended up losing their guide?

Also, secret services? oh I get it! They were on a James Bond mission on her Majesty’s secret service!

Every time I think it couldn’t get worse with these two dumbasses, they always have more than one trick up your sleeve in the end.

This literally made my day! Thank you Niomi and Bradley for making this whole story up. A good crappy one, but still.

 

[Lamy]

Why would you waste phone battery on selfies in this situation?

note aside: Forky’s hair is very curly from the jungles humidity

 

[louderforthecheapseats]

At first I thought he just misspoke when he said secret services , but he literally thinks it’s the secret services that came to rescue them
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does he think he’s a character in an American spy movie

Daniel Craig needs to watch out I think we have a candidate for the next James Bond….

 

[Chinchilla]

Oh my Jesus Christ give me strength.
I don’t follow them as they really get on my nerves but after seeing some of the comments on this thread had to take a peak at her stories. I had to stop within 2 mins.

i can’t believe she’s making it out to be some motivational coaching session. Look at me I used the power of my mind and strength to keep calm!
They will not shut up about this now and can’t believe they had to call out a huge team to come rescue them when they could be using their resources on more important stuff.

it’s actually disgusting watchign both their stories. Not like they were held at gun point and they were with a tour guide WTF!!!

great PR kids

If we can get through this we can get through anything! Wow she’s obviously never had to get through anything in her life

 

[Mable912]

Niomi is so lucky she was able to get a phone signal because things could and probably would have been a whole lot different if that wasn't the case. You can tell from Niomi's stories that it's all sinking in for her and she's realising how differently it might have turned out. Forky, maybe not so much, because I think the dude feels SECRET SERVICES would have turned up to save him no matter what.

I would like to know how they lost their tour guide in a party of three. I realise it may have been as simple as one wrong turn and then everything went wrong - but why didn't they shout out for their tour guide as soon as they lost sight of him?

If this had happened to me all I would have been thinking of is the story of Lisanne Froon and Kris Kremers - and I though I am pretty sure they were followed into the jungle rather than simply getting lost, that is all that would have been on my mind, and I would have been freaking out!!

They look very unprepared for a JUNGLE HIKE as well. I know they had a tour guide but it does not matter, anything can happen to your guide so you need to be prepared! I have OS Maps on my phone and download maps I need when I have signal so I can use them later for navigation without any signal whatsoever. It would have been able to route them out of there even though they should have just stayed put anyway.

Im from North Wales and grew up hiking in Snowdonia, reminds me of when I used to see muppets with no experience climbing up crib goch! So arrogant.

They should have had torches and food supplies in their bags as a minimum.

If we can get through this we can get through anything! Wow she’s obviously never had to get through anything in her life

Its also the way she says it in one of his stories when they are being lifted to safety. She gets it in really quickly, it sounds so awkward and forced! She’s such a freak! Maybe she’s gagging for a proposal whilst Brad is still on an adrenaline high

 

[judgejohndeed]

What the hell have I just read Dimbobs really living up to that nickname

 

[Coldfeet]

I dm'd him 'secret services???'
What a total prat.

'He was mentally preparing himself to keep her warm through the night'
Rub her stick thin legs together to start a fire. Simple!!

 

[dodo789]

Special Forces having to rescue two idiot white influencers lost in the jungle? This whole trip has been so on the nose showcasing everything wrong with Forky and Niomi’s type of tourism. Disrespecting hotel staff, making a mess, expecting freebies, ignoring local issues, complaining about weather, refusing to learn anything, and now getting themselves lost for hours and requiring special forces to come find them. I’m sure this was extremely scary but given it’s Forky and Niomi and we know they’re safe, I’ve quickly gotten over the sympathy I felt watching her story.

Pleased she at least called herself an idiot in her story. I call BS already though on her “If we can get through this we can get through anything”… She’ll be back in the shed complaining about how hard her life is in no time. And sadly for all of us wishing Forky a swift exit from our lives, this experience has definitely trauma bonded them and they probably feel closer than ever. It’s funny though, I noticed when she was telling the story, she used a lot of “I” when referring to her feelings. The old Niomi was very much into the royal “we” when she was with Joey.

Why conserve your battery when lost in the jungle and nightfall is approaching when selfies can be taken??

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I feel sick seeing this photo knowing these guys had to trudge through jungle in the dark for these idiots. But can we just talk about how she had to flex and pose??? For the rescue photo??? She couldn’t put her other arm around the man next to her out of fear of looking wide or something?? She’s unreal

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That bleeping flamingo pose, I have such a strong urge to punch something whenever I see her doing it, why she’s like this!?

 

[judgejohndeed]

I'm sorry but I just absolutely lost it when she said 'so Bradley climbed a tree' in all seriousness it does sound very scary and I'm obviously glad they came to no harm but...'Bradley climbed a tree' of course he did

 

[irvinelane]

And then, Niomi will probably say that she now has a newfound respect for life, call Joe for a bit of compassion and support, but Joe will be like:

 

[greenpenguin]

I went from to to and and then back to in like a 5 seconds time span

I swear these 2 morons are the best entertainment I get these days

 

[Lamy]

Why would the guide let Nims go so close to the edge when checking the waterfall from the heights? I question the intention/abilities of the guide tbh...

 

[irvinelane]

Next steps:
- begging the press to write an article about this crappy story
- being on TV
- writing a book « 101 Influencer’s survival guide: in the jungle, the mighty jungle. »
- becoming inspirational speakers
- not getting any smarter

 

[Clover123]

Omg. This is tattle GOLD!!

I love how they've done this incredibly dumb thing, and instead of being even slightly ashamed and/or humble about it, Niomi has just been self congratulatory. She just "can't believe" how "chirpy" she was, as the "secret services" gave up their valuable time to come rescue some vain instagrammers hiking around in barely anything. That photo with her in her crop top and shorts posing with her rescuers just sums up everything that is wrong with unfluencers! I would be MORTIFIED if I had gone to a tropical island currently dealing with the aftermath of terrible weather conditions and had wasted their resources on myself. Niomi is just concerned with how she has overcome so much and how positive she was... I can't deal!!!!

 

[Hannah Banana]

LOL at this whole situation. And, as an aside, major side-eye at the fact that they keep referring to it as a ‘jungle’ (instead of a forest, which is what it is) for dramatic effect.

Anyone else betting that, though the park (it’s a National Park, not quite ‘the wilderness’, like they’re implying) is pretty big, these two buffons were probably actually walking in circles in the same half-mile radius?

I have no sympathy whatsoever for them. Any danger they were in was entirely of their own making. I only feel sympathy for the ‘special services’ that had to rescue them.

 

[Tea&Toast]

OMFG! And we thought the worst that could happen was bad weather Well I guess that’s ruined the holiday No sunbathing, swimming and arse shots for her now that she’s covered in scratches and bruises, guess they’ll just have to sit on the porch for what’s left of this disaster trip Joe, his gf & brother must be pissing themselves laughing right now

 

[whatsever you]

The CRINGE of her posing all the f*ing time-especially in Bradley's stories when the forces have found them. Also before they'd got lost, did they just keep asking their tour guide to film them- it's just too cringe.
This is unbelievable, what a pair of stupid idiots. I wouldn't be surprised if Bradders is secretly happy this has happened so he can grow his following from all the stories.100% agree he'll be contacting the daily mail asking if they want to cover their story.

 

[cookiemunchmunch]

Why do they keep saying secret services / special forces, because they were wearing camo or what??? Seriously, I have seen a lot of episodes of "I shouldn't be alive" where these exact scenarios happen, and it's 9 out of 10 times rescue services that come to help. Rescue services are amazing people, not taking that away from them - but special forces and rescue services are two very different things. Special forces would rescue people that are perhaps in vulnerable war torn situations, kidnapped, held hostage by terrorists or pirates, etc - not people lost in a bleeping national park. I mean - right? Or have I gone completely bonkers like these two have??

 

[Ebazza]

Bradley’s accent when he meets the “secret service” guys… it’s like he’s trying to mimic theirs

 

[judgejohndeed]

It always astounds me how a lot of privileged people have zero sense of self-preservation. You don't need to be Bear Grylls to work out that taking videos is a waste of phone battery that you might need. When she said at the end of the video how she was surprised her phone battery lasted and it shouldn't have...what if it had died and they couldn't be found? Oh well, as long as she got that content, right? Absolutely astounding tbh