Niomi Smart #36 On her deathbed still talking 'bout Joe, Niomi please just Let It Go!

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I feel for the special forces. They've had a difficult week with the weather over there, protecting the locals. Now having to find two privileged influencers who won't follow basic instructions!
I don't know about you guys, but I've never been on a guided tour where we haven't done a name and number call out before we head off.
I hate to say it but I feel these two did a spontaneous duck out of the tour because they thought it would be all good.
 
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How manifesting is going??
becasue if that is not a "sign from universe" to just STFU on ig and sit on your damn flat ass ( your shed) i don't know what is....😏
 
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Two social media influencers get lost in the jungle and have to be rescued. You can’t make this tit up 🤦🏻‍♀️
 
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That’s what you get when you have 2 idiots sooo full of themselves and think they know it all so try to find their way back in a huge forest they’ve never been in. Sorry not sorry but glad they had a tit day!
 
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I almost lost it when Nims immediately started turning her story into an inspirational tale of the strength of the human body and mind. Like shut the duck up you complete imbecile - you were fatally stupid at every single stage of your “adventure” and endangered (or at the VERY least wasted the time of) countless people.

“If we can get through this we can get through anything” - you scrambled around in athleisure taking videos for seven hours, and then other, sensible people rescued you. If this is the hardest thing you’ll have to go through mentally OR physically you’re doing pretty well.

…Also if I didn’t already have the ick from Forky’s face alone, seeing him clambering through the jungle with his stupid backpack would do it.
 
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Remember girls, if you go through something scary & then tell the world about it, you gotta get your cleavage out first and foremost.

Heaven forbid Joeyyy watches this incredible tale of trials and tribulations and doesn’t notice her boobs!
Then it would all have been a waste ✋🏼😔
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I have never been on a tour where I lost my guide 🤣 I have even gone hike to the highest mountain in Malaysia and hike at night in a tropical jungle… 🤣
 
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Unbelievable!! I bet that they were too busy taking pictures of each other and didn’t pay attention to anyone else. God they are just so stupid 🤢
 
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It’s just them and the guide?! And having to get the secret services out…absolute bleeping idiots…should have left them

Lost in the jungle but still managed to video and photograph….give me strength….
 
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So that is how "helping the locals out" is going then? Requiring special forces to rescue you out of a self inflicted situation when they probably have enough other emergencies to attend to. Great effort!

"We thought we could just do it ourselves and would just find our way back" - yeah, tour guides are totally overrated. Even in thick jungle territory, right? I mean just put your mind to it and get it done yourself. And tell me, how did that magical thinking/manifesting work out for you?

She says if they make it through this they can make it through anything. They weren't the ones who got themselves out of this situation. Other people rescued them. On their own, they did not succeed in anything. Their tour guide said to find water, so they did. The others used flashlights to find them, when they'd wasted their battery for videos and photos. She literally filmed them being rescued. Use your phone flashlight to guide people to you, Dimmy!!!!!
She says she doesn't know how they lost their guide. I would bet good money that it was either veering off path to take a picture or just being to engrossed in taking pictures with juuuuuuuust the right pose.
"We stayed really positive throughout the whole thing" - the fact that they took pictures and videos when they barely had any battery left tells me that they didn't really grasp the seriousness of the situation at all.

ETA: in one of the pictures from the day she says they "decided to stay put" sitting by water. No love, your guide said that this is what you should do.
 
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It’s just them and the guide?! And having to get the secret services out…absolute bleeping idiots…should have left them

Lost in the jungle but still managed to video and photograph….give me strength….
If you don't make a photo, did it really happen? 😒
 
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They should’ve just ✨manifested✨ their guide to find them through some planetary vibrations?? Duh
 
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If you don't make a photo, did it really happen? 😒
Imagine being a rescue guy looking for lost British influencers and when you finally find them, they are filming everything putting a mobile camera in front of your face.
 
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To be fair the fact their guide couldn’t find them either speaks volumes and it likely might not be their fault. In the jungle an area can be seemingly clear and you almost see a “track” because you’re focusing on one way. The guide should have had them in immediate eyesight and earshot at all times. There was only the three of them. It sounds terrifying and you can see how badly her legs are scratched up. It is jungle 101 if you get lost to stay put but I can’t imagine the panic they would have felt. I’m really glad they’re okay that could have been such a different outcome 🥺
 
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It’s really funny that she keeps saying ‚if we can get through this we can get through anything’ cause she said the same thing about escaping India with Joey and look where are they now lol
 
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This dude legitimately just said the SECRET SERVICES came to rescue them ✋🏼 lmao

Also, if you’re standing on very slippery rocks under a waterfall, best thing to do is strike a bodychecking pose 👍🏼
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Nearly died but still gotta do the flamingo!!🦩🦩

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I'm just waiting for her to say "In a way, I'm thankful this happened to us...."

Also I must be a terrible person cause I have no compassion for them, at first I found the whole thing hilarious (two dumbass influencers getting lost in the jungle, you could make a movie out of it) but now the story just pisses me off for so many reasons.
 
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