Nicola Bulley #12

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I just want to say this, I’m new to these threads, followed the news etc but ofc this is more informative and reliable.

I have to say everyone has been SO respectful and kind, even when I’ve asked things that may seem stupid because I hadn’t read all other threads. So thank you all.
 
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On the latest update from the family and I’m not sure it’s been mentioned but I can’t keep up with the thread .
“ people are threatening to sell stories about her “

How has this done a complete 360 from a normal nice family … what do they mean threatening to sell stories clearly something has gone on in the family and people have things to say about Nicola .
 
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I personally think tarnishing her name as an alcoholic who is off the rails because of menopause, is worse if she’s dead tbh. The difficulty hiding someone who’s on every news channel, does point toward her being dead somewhere in water (open minded, remember) The fact she then can’t even defend herself, is horrific. She doesn’t deserve to have her personal life aired whether she’s dead or alive.

I know some people think you can’t judge people through social media, and I do very much agree with that, but the smiles on the kids faces really paint a picture of a loving & wonderful mother. (As I’ve said before) People will take the recent information, and assume she’s some violent aggressive alcoholic who had the police involved over an alcohol-menopausal fueled rage, and that’s an unfair when the other person cannot defend or change that narrative.

There was a few people who seemed to think I was accusing Paul of being involved in some way, or having lied - This isn’t accurate if you had read my posts. I was merely adding information for referencing purposes. Anyone has the ability to hit up the dark web and find someone willing to do the worst to someone, I’m not saying he did this. I mentioned the overdetailed stories is often a sign of lying because that’s a true statement, it doesn’t mean it’s evidence of lying! I myself, happen to go into extra detail when writing letters etc because it saves the other person coming back to me to ask questions.
 
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Gobby number 2 is back

"In a strongly-worded attack, Mr Williams-Thomas criticised their decision to initially withhold details of missing mother Nicola Bulley's vulnerable state which seriously hampered the search for her - only to then leave her family in turmoil by revealing it after interest in the case had been allowed to mushroom."

It appears my “irrational “ dislike of this man wasn’t so irrational after all!

IF he was the one who was going to divulge Nicola’s vulnerable state which forced the police to make that statement, then I hope this is the start of his downfall.
Horrible man.
 
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On the latest update from the family and I’m not sure it’s been mentioned but I can’t keep up with the thread .
“ people are threatening to sell stories about her “

How has this done a complete 360 from a normal nice family … what do they mean threatening to sell stories clearly something has gone on in the family and people have things to say about Nicola .
Not sure if it's her friends/family but I am going to hazard a guess that the media got wind of Nicola's issues and said they were going publish so lancs police decided to damage control the situation?

It doesn't necessarily mean she had any enemies. It could have been as a simple as a journalist could have been in the area, interviewed someone who accidently let slip not thinking
 
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Very late as been working - rude!

Seen the statement put out by her family. Are we thinking that’s why police revealed the info on NB or the “people selling stories” came after it was revealed?
From everything that’s said, I think the police are basically saying “We were forced to reveal it because the tabloids found out (or found out a version of it) and were about to break it.”
 
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I don’t know what to think I just hope she’s found safe .
Before this was released yesterday she had comments on her Facebook saying she will be on another bender .

If this is the case and people knew her for being like that then we really don’t have a clue about Nicola or her life . We can only assume what went on in her life but it’s becoming very clear things wasn’t right and everybody struggles but if she really was going on benders then I do feel for her husband and children . Maybe her husband shows no emotion because he’s been through so much with her and the relationship was no doubt on the verge of ending anyway .
 
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Shattering. Isn’t it.

I just wonder why the bloody hell they let Faulding off on a wild goose chase for ‘burial sites’. It really led people in the direction of third party involvement and possible abduction/murder when the reality is much more believable and relatable (absconsion/accident/suicide). I know he’s not flavour of the month here for good reason, but I really feel like he has been done a bit dirty too.

I get that they were trying to protect her privacy. Unfortunately the huge media push and disagreement with the direction the police were taking has led all this to come out. I am sure it was all well intentioned. It’s just so sad for all involved.

There has been so much love and support for Nicola. I’d love to hear she has ben in touch with police to say she’s ok and the case gets closed.

I hope everyone here is ok. 💛
I don’t think they had any choice. He’d got the bit firmly between his teeth and the media in his sights.
I think many of the conversations he said he’d had with the family were reimagined.
 
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It’s a shame Nicola’s friends and Faulding courted the media so much. Had it got the usual coverage that a misper gets then this would have dropped out of the headlines after a week or so and we’d have never been privy to her mental state.

It also makes sense now why Fairysteps didn’t return and say why the locals thought she wasn’t in the water. It must have been awful for the locals to have their small village overrun by the media, wannabe heroes and internet sleuths when they knew there was more to the story than the public was being told.

It’s a mess all round.
I now understand why Nicola’s parents and sister have been so quiet, other than the initial press conference. They were trying to avoid the tit show that this has become and protect their daughter so, if she was still out there, she’d feel safe to come home.
IF Nicola is still out there, I dread to think what recent developments would do to her mental health. 😣
I feel for her and her family.
 
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I see the media is scaremongering with the menopause now. Having worked in adult mental health services for my entire career, yes we do see people with menopausal symptoms but it's rare that these are very severe. This is going to lead to mass hysteria and fear amongst some women. Services have developed menopause-specific pathways, trained and appointed menopause specialists and created menopause groups. There is help out there. Nicola's menopause may be a aggrevating factor but we don't know if she had other predisposing difficulties.

It's not fair putting the fear of God into women. Yes it may be difficult, it may not. Let's not assume this case is typical.
I‘m sorry but I do think you should stop trying to sell yourself as an adult mental health expert, it’s concerning, especially with some of the comments and accusations you’ve made on these threads. It’s also not about scaremongering it‘s about being honest. If anything you’re trying to belittle menopause concerns saying it’s rare symptoms are severe, making it more difficult for women to speak out. Many women suffer from insomnia/sleep deprivation, that in itself is severe for many, as it makes it difficult to function. As for ‘menopause specialists’ lucky you if you’ve managed to find one, the reality is it’s not as easy as you imply and I’m a little surprised in your line of work you don’t know that. I have had to do a lot of research myself (much science based) online and with the help of a male GP to find a better way through the menopause as I was told to avoid HRT, which thankfully has made a big difference but I was really struggling to cope.

Edit And it’s important for women to know even if their symptoms are severe they can be much improved.
 
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Gobby number 2 is back

"In a strongly-worded attack, Mr Williams-Thomas criticised their decision to initially withhold details of missing mother Nicola Bulley's vulnerable state which seriously hampered the search for her - only to then leave her family in turmoil by revealing it after interest in the case had been allowed to mushroom."

Oh yes. Mark Whata-twit.
Absolutely no turmoil caused by you then?

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I‘m sorry but I do think you should stop trying to sell yourself as an adult mental health expert, it’s concerning, especially with some of the comments and accusations you’ve made on these threads. It’s also not about scaremongering it‘s about being honest. If anything you’re trying to belittle menopause saying it’s rare symptoms are severe, making it more difficult for women to speak out. Many women suffer from insomnia/sleep deprivation, that in itself is severe for many, as it makes it difficult to function. As for ‘menopause specialists’ lucky you if you’ve managed to find one, the reality is it’s not as easy as you imply and I’m a little surprised in your line of work you don’t know that. I have had to do a lot of research myself (much science based) online and with the help of a male GP to find a better way through the menopause as I was told to avoid HRT.
Is that who called @DellaC a dick yesterday?
 
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Read up on what you can so you’re prepared. Hopefully it will be a breeze for you.

I would recommend Meg Matthews book 'Meg's Menopause' to anyone, it’s full of useful info but her supplements didn’t work for me.

ITDH - Do you think we could have a bit in the signposting bit Wiki for for others? Happy to help although I don’t know how to do wikis and THANK YOU for the threads 🙏🏽
Yes absolutely. I’d eventually like to add sections on
Peri Menopause
Menopause
Alcohol use - personal and family support
Mental health support
Missing persons

If others are in agreement?
And of course anything else deemed appropriate ❤

I have littlest at home now until Tuesday but I will definitely be able to get it done properly next week.

I think regardless of what happens with the search for Nicola, the wiki can remain as a source of info for anyone who needs it x
 
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Is that who called @DellaC a dick yesterday?
Oh please don't talk about that. I still hyperventilate when I think back. Imagine an expert in the field of mental health trolling an absolute belter like me.

It's despicable 😫😫😫😂😂😂
 
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Two things I want to say before I think about doing some chores.

1) @Tangerine Cat every time I see your name on here I have a wry smile. I’ve got a tangerine cat 🐈 that visits me twice a day now and although I know he’s a feral, we are building up a nice friendship. He allows me to stroke him from a distance but won’t come in yet. He is really helping me after losing both of my dogs. I don’t even/or didn’t think I did, like bloody cats.

2) HRT…. Well I have made a right song and dance about HRT. Didn’t want to go down another pharmaceutical route as I try my hardest to stick to supplements etc. BUT… my menopause was just dragging me down. Hot flushes, aches, pains, bloating but the actual worse one of all is the brain fog. I’ve actually wondered if I’d got dementia and I still do as my memory, clarity, understanding and organisational skills have just gone. It really is horrid. So I’m giving it another go. I haven’t seen any improvement yet. The only side effect is really painful boobs, very similar to pre-menstrual or when breast feeding. Not nice at all we I’ll just try for a few months and see.
 
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