New baby and post birth advice #32 Seven gallons of boob

sodit · Oct 3, 2022

Little lad is currently 10.5 months and had some soya milk from a shot glass at my parents’ at the weekend, does baby T currently accept drinking any water/what from?

Because of starting our feeding with a couple of months of exclusive pumping, baby usually took to a bottle fine, but now he’s on more solids its so so rare he has one as if I’m away from him it’s around a solids feed. But that made him start to be funny with it, I don’t know if it was the bottle itself or being with his papa but wanting mum, but he wasn’t pleased with it. But he drinks water happily, so I got some handles for his bottles to see if that made a difference and touch wood he’ll fairly happily bottle feed himself now, I just set him up in the little rocker chair thing with a muslin wedged under and some bribery dancing fruits.

Borntorun · Oct 3, 2022

So after waking up at 3am to get to the airport this morning, Baby Runner has been a dream. Slept the whole flight, enjoyed a little swim, and then has had a three hour nap this afternoon. And my husband has taken the 3yo swimming while she’s slept, so I’ve just been laid here reading my book. Fingers crossed the week unfolds like this as honestly this is the biggest break I’ve had in months and it’s still the first day

TheBabeWithThePower · Oct 3, 2022

So I think I need to get a playpen asap, baby has learnt to get into sitting position by himself but has only just learned to sit up so still falls a lot and we have hard wooden floors
Why is this kid in such a rush to do everything??

cj_ii · Oct 3, 2022

WhatABore said:
I've just seen a post on the parents page for the year 1 class. A parent saying they've booked somewhere for 6.30-9.45 on Sunday!

We used it with my second.
It's exactly the same as aptimil
They have to abide by such standards that they're all so similar

What on earth! That ridiculous

jackolantern · Oct 3, 2022

TheDuchess said:
Hi ladies, this is a bit of a weird one but has anyone ever had to deal with a friend who is trying to meet up to see me and the baby but have her boyfriend with her allllllllll the time?

Some backstory, we have known each other since primary school, just before covid hit she met this guy. I met him once with my husband as she wanted to introduce him to us. I didn’t really like him. Fast forward three years and they now live together (because of covid and doing ivf I didn’t see her until I had baby Ems) I didn’t extend the invitation to her boyfriend as to be quite frank I didn’t want a guy that I didn’t know all that well and tbh don’t particularly like in my home and around my newborn.

Her partner and my husband do have some interests in common and now instead of just wanting to meet up with each other as we have always done, she just constantly wants to meet up as couples but also with baby Ems there too. I’ve never needed to hold my partners hand in doing stuff so I can’t understand this behaviour.

I have tried so many times to try and point out that I’d just love to have a girly catch up but it falls on deaf ears. Its always oh when can WE (even refers to him as uncle! Have I mentioned that I’ve only met this guy once!) come down to see the baby? The thought of this guy in my home or around my baby actually makes me feel really stressed.

I honestly don’t know what to do about this as I don’t want to loose her as a friend but my god my alarm bells are ringing with this guy!

Sorry for the rant, a lot of you wonderful ladies are coping with some really big issues and I know this honestly pales in comparison. I think I just need to let this out in a safe space because I feel it’ll go down like a lead balloon in real life

Late to this but I have a sort of similar situation, well a variant anyway. Quick backstory - my Dad died in 2014 and my mum is currently dating one of his friends (not best friends, but still). She's only been with him for a year or so and I've met him a handful of times. Not keen honestly. Anyway, I knew it was coming, but she actually had the audacity to ask if he could be a "surrogate grandad"

for Tommy. I quite obviously said no and we had a massive argument about it because she's a narc and everything has to revolve around what she wants. She even started listing all the things he could do for Tommy if he was his grandad like tell him about my Dad - erm excuse me? You don't think I can fucking do that!? Also, if your "lovely" boyfriend will only be kind to my son if he's getting a title out of it, that says it all really doesn't it? Respect is fucking earned. Never mind the fact I barely know this bloke so it's little difference to me than some random bloke off the street. But also, the fucking audacity to think he could replace my Dad, when quite clearly I'm cut up about that enough anyway. It's causing loads of shit because she keeps trying to force him meeting Tommy as if it's just SO important and I'm getting increasingly angry so I know another bust up is coming. I also know that she will call him Grandad in front of Tommy, pretend it was an accident but then say something like oh Tommy just adores him! and think she will forcibly get her way (she won't).

I feel the exact same as you in that honestly I wouldn't chose him in my life so certainly not around Tommy and she's absolutely pushing me into it, to the point where if she keeps pushing, she won't be seeing him either. She's a bloody fool because I already only allow this for her benefit because I wouldn't see her if I had my way, so it's no loss to me. I could accept the odd meeting with him here and there, but she will try and have him be there every time and it's bad enough having to see her nevermind him as well. She can't seem to comprehend SHE chose him in HER life, so I am under no expectation to choose him in my sons. It might be a different relationship but I would say the same for you, I know your friend's partner means alot to her, but he certainly doesn't to you, so if you aren't comfortable, that's the end of the conversation really.

I've managed to avoid seeing my Mum's OH up until now but we are doing so this weekend because I'm running out of excuses other than quite literally saying it how it is and I do try and avoid conflict because our relationship is already horrible enough and I can't handle the stress. But, I do feel it's inevitable tbh. I know it's hard but if you feel that way, all we can really do is stand our ground, because us and our babies come first.

Gosh why are people so fucking entitled?

Jellybean093 · Oct 3, 2022

I’ve had 3 birthday invites in the last 24 hours. 2 parties are on the same weekend. A Saturday and Sunday. Fml

*I don’t know why I’m so bothered as we don’t do anything anyway

LongishCat · Oct 3, 2022

I just come on here to be sad it seems, but life's just a bitch at the moment.
Kitten had the worst sleep in ages last night, I think she's teething. I had about 2 or 3 hours of broken sleep.
Went to my parents today and my dad isn't doing well. He's getting confused, sleeps a lot, can't eat much. Horrible to see.
I think I'm also now starting to feel the emotional blow of getting fired.
I asked to postpone the job interview tomorrow as it would just end up with me crying my eyes out and they understood and weren't nasty about it.

I went to pick up Kitten at daycare today and as soon as she saw me, she started crying and screaming and she didn't really stop.
Gave her a bottle and a bath, held her in my arms till she slept. Then after a while I put her in her crib and she just started screaming within a few minutes.
Went back up after a little (hoping she'd fall asleep on her own), got her back to sleep in my arms. 10 mins later she's screaming and crying again. Still in my arms.
She's super tired, but must be very uncomfortable. She doesn't have a fever, eats well, sleeps okay during the day, is generally a very happy baby. It's like she just turns into a demon at night. I know it's probably just a phase, but not one I needed now...

Honestly, I'm broken. Not having to go to work is a blessing in a way...
I'm usually an optimist, but it's getting harder and harder...

Definitelyme · Oct 3, 2022

@LongishCat I think it’s ok not to be optimistic at the moment. Everything is pretty shitty for you, and your family, right now, and it’s ok to just feel that. I hope kitten isn’t getting sick and she has a good night of sleep. I’m so sorry things are so bleak

noseyqueen14 · Oct 3, 2022

Trombolese said:
Does anyone have any tips on how to move an exclusively breastfed baby onto a bottle? As much as I don’t want to, I think I need to start thinking of weaning baby T off of the boob towards the end of the year . I’m going back to work full time in January, he will be 10 and a half months when he starts nursery and I won’t be able to pump. I also want to wean him off before then because at the moment he’s really attached to me which I absolutely love, but I’m worried about him settling into nursery. He’s never taken a bottle when we have tried before, but that was back when he was really little. What bottles do people recommend, and does anyone have any tips on how they did it?

my EBF baby started nursery at 7 months and refused the bottles the whole time he was there. On day 4 they tried a sippy cup and that's all he'll take now. He's in 8-4 so I usually feed around 630 and then we sit and feed when we get home around 430/5. Not going to lie I am a bit paranoid he isn't getting 24oz a day but I don't know how to find out without just constantly pumping or weighted feeds but hes too big for that now. I give them 8oz for the 8 hours.

TheDuchess · Oct 4, 2022

jackolantern said:
Late to this but I have a sort of similar situation, well a variant anyway. Quick backstory - my Dad died in 2014 and my mum is currently dating one of his friends (not best friends, but still). She's only been with him for a year or so and I've met him a handful of times. Not keen honestly. Anyway, I knew it was coming, but she actually had the audacity to ask if he could be a "surrogate grandad" for Tommy. I quite obviously said no and we had a massive argument about it because she's a narc and everything has to revolve around what she wants. She even started listing all the things he could do for Tommy if he was his grandad like tell him about my Dad - erm excuse me? You don't think I can fucking do that!? Also, if your "lovely" boyfriend will only be kind to my son if he's getting a title out of it, that says it all really doesn't it? Respect is fucking earned. Never mind the fact I barely know this bloke so it's little difference to me than some random bloke off the street. But also, the fucking audacity to think he could replace my Dad, when quite clearly I'm cut up about that enough anyway. It's causing loads of shit because she keeps trying to force him meeting Tommy as if it's just SO important and I'm getting increasingly angry so I know another bust up is coming. I also know that she will call him Grandad in front of Tommy, pretend it was an accident but then say something like oh Tommy just adores him! and think she will forcibly get her way (she won't).

I feel the exact same as you in that honestly I wouldn't chose him in my life so certainly not around Tommy and she's absolutely pushing me into it, to the point where if she keeps pushing, she won't be seeing him either. She's a bloody fool because I already only allow this for her benefit because I wouldn't see her if I had my way, so it's no loss to me. I could accept the odd meeting with him here and there, but she will try and have him be there every time and it's bad enough having to see her nevermind him as well. She can't seem to comprehend SHE chose him in HER life, so I am under no expectation to choose him in my sons. It might be a different relationship but I would say the same for you, I know your friend's partner means alot to her, but he certainly doesn't to you, so if you aren't comfortable, that's the end of the conversation really.

I've managed to avoid seeing my Mum's OH up until now but we are doing so this weekend because I'm running out of excuses other than quite literally saying it how it is and I do try and avoid conflict because our relationship is already horrible enough and I can't handle the stress. But, I do feel it's inevitable tbh. I know it's hard but if you feel that way, all we can really do is stand our ground, because us and our babies come first.

Gosh why are people so fucking entitled?

I'm so sorry about your dad and I’m sorry that you’ve also got someone trying to force someone into your babies life. It’s stressful enough that it’s my friend doing this to me, I honestly can’t imagine how it feels for your mum to do that to you. Your doing the right thing by Tommy, stick to your guns.

I’ve no idea how people feel so entitled to do shit like this. You are completely right when you said that THEY chose THEM. We didn’t.

I told my friend yesterday that I could meet up with her in a couple of weeks time, my partner will go meet his mate so we can just catch up in peace ie YOUR BOYFRIEND ISN’T INVITED. Woke up this morning to a message saying”me and Dickhead will come down together another time, hopefully soon so all four of us can all meet up & see each other plus baby Ems can meet her uncle”

my hands were shaking I was so angry with her! I typed out 3 or 4 replies blasting her with both barrels but ended up deleting them each time so I could cool off a bit. In the end I just haven’t replied to her. Words fail me.

He’s not her uncle, he’s a fucking random to me. She’s not listening to me and I have no idea why she is pushing so hard for this relationship to be forced.

I am sick to the back teeth of this. She has zero clue how tough it is to have a baby and doesn’t seem to understand that you have no time to yourself and even if you somehow do find a slither of time you don’t want to spend it with arseholes.

No clue how to even fix this, just solidarity with you and Tommy.

Rxt156 · Oct 4, 2022

TheDuchess said:
I'm so sorry about your dad and I’m sorry that you’ve also got someone trying to force someone into your babies life. It’s stressful enough that it’s my friend doing this to me, I honestly can’t imagine how it feels for your mum to do that to you. Your doing the right thing by Tommy, stick to your guns.

I’ve no idea how people feel so entitled to do shit like this. You are completely right when you said that THEY chose THEM. We didn’t.

I told my friend yesterday that I could meet up with her in a couple of weeks time, my partner will go meet his mate so we can just catch up in peace ie YOUR BOYFRIEND ISN’T INVITED. Woke up this morning to a message saying”me and Dickhead will come down together another time, hopefully soon so all four of us can all meet up & see each other plus baby Ems can meet her uncle”

my hands were shaking I was so angry with her! I typed out 3 or 4 replies blasting her with both barrels but ended up deleting them each time so I could cool off a bit. In the end I just haven’t replied to her. Words fail me.

He’s not her uncle, he’s a fucking random to me. She’s not listening to me and I have no idea why she is pushing so hard for this relationship to be forced.

I am sick to the back teeth of this. She has zero clue how tough it is to have a baby and doesn’t seem to understand that you have no time to yourself and even if you somehow do find a slither of time you don’t want to spend it with arseholes.

No clue how to even fix this, just solidarity with you and Tommy.

Christ what is wrong with her!! Sorry she’s been like this.
If that was me I’d leave the friendship there. End. Bye bye cya never.

Dipdab · Oct 4, 2022

TheDuchess said:
I'm so sorry about your dad and I’m sorry that you’ve also got someone trying to force someone into your babies life. It’s stressful enough that it’s my friend doing this to me, I honestly can’t imagine how it feels for your mum to do that to you. Your doing the right thing by Tommy, stick to your guns.

I’ve no idea how people feel so entitled to do shit like this. You are completely right when you said that THEY chose THEM. We didn’t.

I told my friend yesterday that I could meet up with her in a couple of weeks time, my partner will go meet his mate so we can just catch up in peace ie YOUR BOYFRIEND ISN’T INVITED. Woke up this morning to a message saying”me and Dickhead will come down together another time, hopefully soon so all four of us can all meet up & see each other plus baby Ems can meet her uncle”

my hands were shaking I was so angry with her! I typed out 3 or 4 replies blasting her with both barrels but ended up deleting them each time so I could cool off a bit. In the end I just haven’t replied to her. Words fail me.

He’s not her uncle, he’s a fucking random to me. She’s not listening to me and I have no idea why she is pushing so hard for this relationship to be forced.

I am sick to the back teeth of this. She has zero clue how tough it is to have a baby and doesn’t seem to understand that you have no time to yourself and even if you somehow do find a slither of time you don’t want to spend it with arseholes.

No clue how to even fix this, just solidarity with you and Tommy.

Does the boyfriend even want to be or know he’s “an uncle”? Very strange behaviour!

Definitelyme · Oct 4, 2022

@TheDuchess not quite the same situation but you reminded me with the whole uncle thing. My sister in law lives in New Zealand, and has her partner there. We’ve met him once, a few years ago. Now fair enough they are engaged, have kids together etc, but it really annoys me when she calls him “Uncle X” to the kids. They don’t know him at all! They asked me once if they should call him that, and I said just whatever makes them feel comfortable - and they’ve never once called him uncle, which says it all!

TheDuchess · Oct 4, 2022

Rxt156 said:
Christ what is wrong with her!! Sorry she’s been like this.
If that was me I’d leave the friendship there. End. Bye bye cya never.

I have no idea what the hell is going on with her. She has been single for years so I don’t know if she just doesn’t get that this isn’t okay.

30 years of friendship down the pan all down to a bloody man and how she is with him!

Dipdab said:
Does the boyfriend even want to be or know he’s “an uncle”? Very strange behaviour!

This is what my husbands wondering! If it’s her trying to push this rather than him.

If it was him pushing it I think that’s even worse

Definitelyme said:
@TheDuchess not quite the same situation but you reminded me with the whole uncle thing. My sister in law lives in New Zealand, and has her partner there. We’ve met him once, a few years ago. Now fair enough they are engaged, have kids together etc, but it really annoys me when she calls him “Uncle X” to the kids. They don’t know him at all! They asked me once if they should call him that, and I said just whatever makes them feel comfortable - and they’ve never once called him uncle, which says it all!

Yeah kids always know what’s up, it’s such a strange thing for other people to assume that they can be honorary aunties or uncles. Surely that’s up to us as parents to decide.

My SIL is in a new relationship and there has been zero mention of “uncle X” to Ems, as it should be.

My hubby is wondering if she might be desperately trying to get me to get to know the boyfriend but admits that she is going about it entirely the wrong way.

WhatABore · Oct 4, 2022

TheDuchess said:
I have no idea what the hell is going on with her. She has been single for years so I don’t know if she just doesn’t get that this isn’t okay.

30 years of friendship down the pan all down to a bloody man and how she is with him!

This is what my husbands wondering! If it’s her trying to push this rather than him.

If it was him pushing it I think that’s even worse

Yeah kids always know what’s up, it’s such a strange thing for other people to assume that they can be honorary aunties or uncles. Surely that’s up to us as parents to decide.

My SIL is in a new relationship and there has been zero mention of “uncle X” to Ems, as it should be.

My hubby is wondering if she might be desperately trying to get me to get to know the boyfriend but admits that she is going about it entirely the wrong way.

I had a similar situation when me and my partner were first together.
I was a bit younger however and was only 21.
But I live 2 hours from my friend and when me and him were first together, she'd just had her son and I said oh yeah, we'll both come down and see you.
She cancelled the day before.
So I rearranged for a few weeks later and again I said, yeah, we'll both come. As she hadn't met him before so wanted her to meet him and get to know him as we were really close.
I didn't really think anything of it. Because in my head, I just wanted her to get to know him.
But the day before, she messaged and said that she wasn't comfortable with it as she didn't know him, especially as she'd just had her son.

And I completely understood and I've gone by myself since then. Like my partner said, he didn't really want to sit there listening to our "girl chatter" as he called it.
She's met him a couple of times since then but that's been at her kids parties that we've both gone to.
We hardly talk now anyway but that's just general drifting apart. Both being busy with our own families ect

Belle Amie · Oct 4, 2022

I have another interview today physical one this time, the baby is like clockwork waking up between 5-5:30 every morning. We needed to be out of the house at half 7 to take him to my mums. What time did we wake up 7:20! Only cause I did as well

Why is that always the way

Megatron1298 · Oct 4, 2022

So coming off the back of a stressful few days last week solo parenting I was looking forward to a relaxing weekend.. well, we ended up in hospital with my 6 week hold having every test under the sun. 2 X-rays, an ultrasound, lumbar puncture, blood tests, urine tests. They really didn’t hold back. Luckily all the important tests came back with good results and turns out poor thing had two viruses that he had now come out the other side of. 3 nights on the ward and we are home now.

I am exhausted to say the least but also if I am honest a little bit apprehensive about being at home. Not just the worry that littlest Megatron will get sick again, but also toddler behaviour when I really don’t have the energy. My husband said he would take over but it almost seemed easier to be in hospital where I only had one child to worry about (and a whole host of amazing doctors and nurses to really take care of him)

At least I’m looking forward to my own bed!

jackolantern · Oct 4, 2022

Megatron1298 said:
So coming off the back of a stressful few days last week solo parenting I was looking forward to a relaxing weekend.. well, we ended up in hospital with my 6 week hold having every test under the sun. 2 X-rays, an ultrasound, lumbar puncture, blood tests, urine tests. They really didn’t hold back. Luckily all the important tests came back with good results and turns out poor thing had two viruses that he had now come out the other side of. 3 nights on the ward and we are home now.

I am exhausted to say the least but also if I am honest a little bit apprehensive about being at home. Not just the worry that littlest Megatron will get sick again, but also toddler behaviour when I really don’t have the energy. My husband said he would take over but it almost seemed easier to be in hospital where I only had one child to worry about (and a whole host of amazing doctors and nurses to really take care of him)

At least I’m looking forward to my own bed!

Oh what a nightmare So glad little Megatron is ok though Love to you all for a bit of R&R x

TheBabeWithThePower · Oct 4, 2022

Belle Amie said:
I have another interview today physical one this time, the baby is like clockwork waking up between 5-5:30 every morning. We needed to be out of the house at half 7 to take him to my mums. What time did we wake up 7:20! Only cause I did as well

Why is that always the way

Good luck with the interview! And does this mean sleep is going a bit better? Hope it is!

Megatron1298 said:
So coming off the back of a stressful few days last week solo parenting I was looking forward to a relaxing weekend.. well, we ended up in hospital with my 6 week hold having every test under the sun. 2 X-rays, an ultrasound, lumbar puncture, blood tests, urine tests. They really didn’t hold back. Luckily all the important tests came back with good results and turns out poor thing had two viruses that he had now come out the other side of. 3 nights on the ward and we are home now.

I am exhausted to say the least but also if I am honest a little bit apprehensive about being at home. Not just the worry that littlest Megatron will get sick again, but also toddler behaviour when I really don’t have the energy. My husband said he would take over but it almost seemed easier to be in hospital where I only had one child to worry about (and a whole host of amazing doctors and nurses to really take care of him)

At least I’m looking forward to my own bed!

Oh gosh how scary, glad baby is ok but you poor things, hope toddler isn't too crackers for you.

Belle Amie · Oct 4, 2022

TheBabeWithThePower said:
Good luck with the interview! And does this mean sleep is going a bit better? Hope it is!

Thank you! It seemed positive but the salary isn’t great so it’s a conversation with the OH.

He has a sensory class on a Monday so I think that’s having a good effect on him. We only had 4 quick wake ups including one at 4 I’m not as knackered though.
How’s sleep going for you?x

New baby and post birth advice #32 Seven gallons of boob

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