New baby and post birth advice #28 being a mum is the best present I could have ever wished for

[LilyRose1234]

Had a lovely wake up this morning…. Ended up co sleeping last night again, woke up slightly as baby was climbing on me and pulling my eyelids open, thought she just wanted a cuddle but no, what she actually wanted was her sippy cup on the table next to me which she then tipped over my head

 

[jackolantern]

I'm one of those that is always told to stop apologising. And then I apologise for apologising

If someone tells me to apologise

 

[miss_americana]

Bet tampax is owned by a man

It’s owned by P&G so will most likely be because men = CEOs even if they are under qualified twats.
I hate male privilege. Mr L went to buy me some sanitary stuff the other day and came home like that’s how much it costs? He then got a very long pink tax rant in return!

 

[Jellybean093]

Sent the food shop to my old house
No one has breakfast and I’ve put on nearly half a stone on holiday 🫠

Today Is not a fun day!!

 

[MissFlowers]

Hello lovely mummies!!
I’ve just found this thread … I have a lovely little almost 10 month old … and he is currently the biggest sleep thief he slept through for about 2 months and it feels like as soon as I started weaning him, he can no longer go a full night without a bottle.. but won’t take bottles in the daytime properly .. is this a thing?!?!
There’s also been a lot of other things going on, learning to crawl and now pulling himself up on anything he can find! And I think some top teeth are coming through (which definitely feel worse than the bottoms) … we are also in the process of moving house and currently staying with a friend.. so baby is back sharing a room with us, so I feel like I do jump to him too quickly at every little whimper when he could possibly settle himself, but I worry about waking my partner when he has to work!

oh gosh! I’m sorry this turned out to be a much longer post than I anticipated! I just wanted to say hi really!!

 

[Trombolese]

I got really emotional at the football too, it was great to see them win! I had to go out of the room to make myself a drink because I could feel my eyes filling up and the bottom lip about to quiver

in relation to the chat the other day about smelling weird after pregnancy, today I smell like out of date sour cream and that’s after a shower.

 

[jackolantern]

Tommy is obsessed with our dogs and knows how to pat them now without me having to his hands there so if they walk past, he grunts and whacks his hands out in front of him like TO THE HOUNDS PEASANT The German Shepherd just about accepts it but luckily the Mastiff is a hoe and laps it up, even when Tommy decides to lick his head

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

Not baby related and feel free to skip it. I need to vent
Currently super emotional at the thought of my 4yo starting school

Also feel guilty that I didn't feel the same way when my 9yo started.
Before my 9yo started school, we were in a completely different place financially. Although we don't have loads now, we had hardly anything then. Both me and my partner lost our jobs at the same time. (we both worked for the same company which is how we met) and the company made over half the staff redundant. I also didn't drive then either.
So when my son started, we'd never been on holiday. We rarely went on days out. Only ever to parks we could walk to ect.
But since then, I've got a car, both worked inbetween kids ect. Managed to go on holidays and weekly swimming with the 2 youngest (9yo goes with school) I refuse to go in the school holidays. I can't cope with kids everywhere

One simple thing has set me off that I didn't realise the last time we went swimming would be the last time in our weekly routine. We caught Covid and then I was ill too after that and by that time, school holidays started.

We've been away a few times and taken the 9yo out of school for the week (naughty naughty ) but don't want to do that now she's just starting and he's getting into his last years.

So now I just feel like I'm losing all freedom with the kids
And it sounds so silly especially as he's already in school but our life has changed so much between Oakley starting and Ivy starting!

Even more so that I feel like she's missed out on 2 years of life before school because of Covid and lockdown!
Ugh

I don’t have an older but my 4yo is starting school in September too and I’m finding this aspect really hard. Also the thought of having nice days out without him as I’ve got 2 others at home that need entertaining? And having to go on days out actually in the holidays (I’m the same and hide during all school holidays generally ) it makes me so emotional! And as you say, feel like I missed out on so much with him during the pandemic, all stuff I’ll be able to do with my 2.5yo and baby. I’m really excited for O to go to school as he’s excited but the loss of freedom for us will be massive solidarity hug x

 

[I’mThankyou_]

My in laws also live far away, both retired, can fly to New Zealand and stay with my SIL for two months, but can’t come to us for more than 3 days twice a year because they don’t like Northern Ireland Makes me so mad.

Trying to figure out how you can dislike Northern Ireland...
I know like everywhere it has its downsides, but it's an absolutely beautiful country!

I'm putting an early bid in for Tommy, pretend you didn't hear everything you've learned about him

SOLD to the Cumbrian Pumpkin
I think Tommy & Twin 2 would be the perfect match tbh Lantern.

Happy birthday BTW!!

 

[Lilykins]

Fellow teacher over here! Read a few posts and it’s given me so much rage

I’m a teacher, as is my husband, so I would not be able to take it! Not even going to look!!!

I had to stop reading that thread after some of the views on working mums, just checked in and good lord unsure why anyone would think teachers are overpaid

I wish we were overpaid!!!

Just went over to start reading and I couldn’t get past a few pages. I could feel the rage building. Was so tempted to reply but I CBA getting into an argument with those people. People who think all teachers are overpaid, get too much holiday and do naff all won’t ever change their opinions (and it’s often their kids who are the worst behaved- funny that)

So true!! It’s people who aren’t very bright/ probably were bad at school themselves who think this about teachers IMO!

 

[I’mThankyou_]

How did you manage it in the end? You and Mr TY I’m bunk beds?!

I sold Mr TY and bought a single

We've moved our bed right up to the window have a cot a the bottom of the bed cot at the side. Can't open my chest of drawers so unsure how I'll get underwear

 

[Celeste]

Baby C has recently started to become aware of our dog and it's the sweetest thing. I can just tell they're going to be as thick as thieves. The cat on the other hand is not to be trusted at all but thankfully keeps his distance from all humans except me.

 

[calmyourritas]

If anyone of my teacher friends on here wants a good read go check out the unpopular opinions thread teacher bashing central over there 🫣

Fellow teacher over here! Read a few posts and it’s given me so much rage

 

[I’mThankyou_]

The reflux has returned and I forgot how much I hate it, but it explains why T2 has been such a demon.
I hate making omeprazole up🥱

 

[Belle Amie]

I think we’re teething properly now, baby B’s been so whiny all day and didn’t sleep until 4pm he had 2 hours and sobbed his little heart out and chewed his hands. Calpol’s helped and he’s so much happier, I’m not ready for how long this could take I want to wake up and see a little tooth.
Would you all give calpol when they cry like they need it to take the edge off or do it every 6 hours? The tooth could take a while to come through right?

 

[Definitelyme]

She's copying toddler me and no amount of cups make her want to take water
We managed about 20mls from her doidy cup this afternoon until she thought nah and threw it at her older brother

Decided to trust ToddlerMe with his doidy on his tray a few times this week, just a wee teeny bit of water in the cup, as he is plenty old enough now to drink alone, and all the others would have done by this age. Well, he certainly CAN when he wants to, but he generally just pours it on his head, on his tray, over the edge. A few times he’s decided to try and drink from the top edge so just tips it all down his top. Then chucks the cup. So much fun with these kids

I am feeling so lost and down with baby's sleep. So he slept brilliantly as a newborn, napped well anywhere and everywhere, from about 3 weeks old he was only waking like once in the night and then once at about 5-6am for feeds and very settled. But for about 2 weeks (since just before 4 months) his sleep has been shit and before that his naps for really difficult, he started only having them on us/in the sling basically since he was about 3 months.

We don't have a routine at all and I think this might be causing some issues but I just don't even know where to start, I'm sure his sister was in a bit of a routine at this age but he is just so all over the place, some days he only does like 3 x 30 minute naps, some days he will nap for like 1.5 hours and then a couple of shorter ones. His bedtime is all over the place and he'll take about an hour to go down then he'll keep waking up every 40 minutes or so through the evening.

He has a lot going on - learning to crawl, he is getting over a nasty cold, he had his 16 week jabs, I think he might be teething a bit too, plus potentially the 4 month regression.

Any advice at all would be welcomed, I am just so tired I can't think straight right now but I feel sure I'm doing something (likely lots of things) wrong!

There is definitely a lot going on there for BabyPower which is probably contributing to the crappy sleep. And - as shit as it is - there quite possibly isn’t much you can do. What I hate seeing (and have done myself over the years) is a mum running herself in to the ground to try and figure out wtf is causing the shitty sleep, and constantly hitting dead ends. I find that makes us so disheartened because we can’t fix the problem (because we dunno what the problem is with the ungrateful sleep thieves!) despite trying so many things.
If it’s possible, maybe spend a few days really observing BabyPower and you may notice a pattern. Not necessarily one ruled by times, but rather he wakes up and then you notice him starting to be really cranky two hours later. If that’s consistent, maybe try for a nap every day an hour and a half after waking - or whatever times you observe him consistently being tired.
They say (whoever they are) that when you get frequent wake ups in the evening it is a sigh of overtiredness, so again some close observation over a few evenings to see how long after the last nap he can go before getting too tired.
It is sooooo bloody hard trying to meet a baby’s sleep needs and needs of older kids. Even now at 15.5months ToddlerMe still mostly naps in the sling because that’s the only way I can ensure he gets his sleep needs met, and I can somewhat meet the needs of my other kids too.

But, as you know yourself, their sleep needs change so frequently in the first year, that by the time you figure out something that works this week, next week will be here and it will all go tits up again. It sounds to me like you aren’t doing anything wrong at all, in fact I don’t even think there is a right or wrong. I think we are all just doing our best to try and figure it out and sometimes we just can’t.

 

[Lulu Goss]

I feel like Baby Gs whinging is going to finish me off this week and it’s only Tuesday

I think it’s her teeth making her miserable but I’m giving calpol, teething powder as often as I can. She doesn’t want to play with toys for more than a few seconds, won’t stay sitting on the floor with or without me, doesn’t want to sit on my lap, throws herself off the sofa if I try to lay her down. I literally don’t know what else to do with her. She had a terrible night sleep last night and refused her morning nap so I took her out in the pram and just walked until she fell asleep. I was hoping she’d wake up in a better mood but she’s back to crying/whinging constantly again.

I’ve never felt like I need a break as much as I do at the moment

 

[Dipdab]

I have a crawler 🥲. Exciting to see but also slightly dreading her twin starting too as it’s already a task following her around

Just cutting baby Rita’s nails and she moved her hand when I wasn’t expecting it and I cut a tiny bit of skin off she really screamed and cried and it was bleeding although it has stopped now. Currently feeling like the worst mum and I’m so traumatised I feel like I never want to cut them again

I’ve done this it’s an awful feeling, try not to be too hard on yourself. I use a baby nail file now, too scared to use the scissors. Takes a bit longer but it’s less risky

It's my birthday today and KW (he's been okay recently for the most part ) got up with Hannah...and it's the ONE day I couldn't get back to sleep for a nice long lie is this my karma for all the bad things I've ever done

Happy birthday!

Hey ladies, my 8month old just stopped drinking her bottle she doesn’t seem interested in it anymore! She’s eating solids but no bottle has anyone else had this issue?

No advice but we’ve had the same! I just started offering more food (went from 2 meals to 3 and a snack). And more water. I also use their milk to make their weetabix or porridge in the mornings to get extra ounces in

 

[Rxt156]

Girl power 🫶
Just told the knobwaffle to fuck off because he’s taking the piss out of the women footballers🥹

 

[wakametango 2.0]

I've just been doing exactly the same @Dipdab

I'm feeling really resentful of my parents tonight. They insisted on visiting when baby was 3 days old even though I was recovering from a C-section. I asked them to consider waiting til the following weekend but they got upset. So they only saw us for maybe 4 hours as it was all just too much. They live 400 miles away so it was a long way for them to come for so little time.

That was 8 weeks ago. Not seen them since. Mum has gone on and on about missing him, crying on the phone etc. She had 2 weeks of annual leave left to take but they've decided to have their 3rd holiday abroad this year, rather than coming to see their grandson. I won't hear from her for days and then I'll get a message demanding a "live" photo. Tonight she randomly asked if she could have a photo of him to post on her Facebook (I suppose at least she asks first...). When they came it was like a bloody press conference, she was uploading to her social media all day. Now I've got my dad messaging me asking if he's sleeping through the night yet?! And saying how they didn't have bath seats in their day and they "only" dropped me under the water once.

They are such a weird mix of over-bearing and not giving a shit and it's really getting to me. I had the most wonderful relationship with my grandparents growing up and I just know it's not going to be the same for him. Sorry, just needed to write all of that down!

Parents are weird! My dad buggered off to Spain and remarried and has no intention of coming over to meet baby Waka. I think our generation will be a lot more understanding and open when older, they haven’t really managed to roll with the times