I know they did a Hometime, but quite frankly it was the usual shite; Mark poking and prodding Nadia, Mark being a dick, Maddie laughs encouraging his bullshit, stupid sweaty dad dancing, a visit to Battersea Power Station-no tour just went shopping to celebrate their anniversary. Hannah's b-day party on a boat with manic dancing. Nanny Di actually looked like she had a wash and laundered her clothes. She tells him to STFU and that she has palpitations. I'm skipping to Vlogmas which has the delightful title of "Rudolph the Red Kno**ed Reindeer Embarasses Nadia & Dina at the Marylebone Xmas Fair."
Brand new gingerbread men doing the Cabbage Patch Doll in the oven, then the Gangam Style gingerbread men. "Nads! Guess what? It's Vlogmas." Yes, our resident twatwaffle is has a Rudoph head on his cranium, ready to be EXTRA as the kids say. Nadia says it's too early for hats. She says something about getting a new sofa, "Don't you know I'm Nadia Sawalha off the telly?"
I thought they got a new sofa off of Facebook Markeplace? Mark says something about not liking Dina and Nadia planning stuff and Nadia says "You know what I don't like? THIS!" She gestures around the area of the living room where Mark used to do some piano lesson, where there is a big space with a camera and chair, weights, yoga mat and loads of dog paraphenalia. The piece de resistance are the boxes of furniture that she ordered
2 YEARS AGO sitting on the floor. Nadia mentions getting a man to do the construction of said furniture. "I'd do it, but I've got a bad thumb, I can't use screwdrivers."
Mark says he will do it tonight and Nadia says "Do you think I came down with yesterday's rain? What about the bed next door? What about the chest of drawers that I ordered next day delivery?" Mark says he started the chest of drawers. Nadia say in no uncertain terms is the loft opening until the living room, the bed and the chest of drawers are done. Nadia thinks it has actually been 3 years since she got that furniture.
There are 4 able-bodied people in that house, there is no excuse for that nonsense. Mark accuses her of being the Grinch that stole Xmas. "And what's that in the box?" Mark says it's the rest of the cupboards. "Just get it started, for God's sake!" There are also a pair of skis in the living room. Go figure.
Mark being stupid in front of the camera for supposed laughs. They are off to Marylebone and he has got D&N some bauble bombs aka Christmas ornaments you drink out of, crisps, ginger shots and Bailey's. He pours the Bailey's in.
Did he wash out those baubles before he put anything in them? He is talking to that stupid head he has in his dusty den. Toffee is sleeping in the den, wakes her up, as she lies amongst all the crap on the floor. He has his laptop just waiting to get stepped on. The door opens and there is cackling, so it must be Dina. Nads and Dina put their antler headbands. Mark sings about Rudolph and his red knob.
Is he actually going to go out in that headgear? Dina says
duck off in reference to Cruella Deville, I think she means Suella Braverman. Mark gives those two their Baileys. Toffee barks at Mark. She says you look like a dick in that reindeer hat. Mark swigs from his ginger shot. "I'm going to call my drink GINGERMEISTER!" In the car now and Nadia tells us that Marylebone is a very posh area of London, "It's posh." Dina says it's for the very, very, very rich and it has "a wicked charity shop up there." Mark gets his reindeer nose stuck in the sun visor.
It's dark out and I am thinking, did they go and leave Marylebone already? No readers, they haven't even got their yet. Nadia says they are all tired and hopes they get kicked out of Marylebone for not being posh enough.
I'd kick you out because you all look like you've got scabies. 
In the parkade, Nadia has the camera and says "I'm not going to lie, I find Mark's outfit a bit embarassing." Dina snickers in the background. "I'm not even joking Dina, I don't want to walk with him." Dina does her posho voice and says "Look at that man in that red shirt, what fun!" So Mark has the stupid reindeer hat and the sexy Santa shirt, looks like Chippendales dancer under his red and white shirt and it is just too much. It's Nadia's fault for letting him go out like that. "Mark, the hat is TOO much." Mark is chuntering on to the camera and Nadia tells him to talk to himself. "Are you doing to ditch me?"
I don't know why he is acting all surprised. I'm sure this isn't the first or last time someone wanted to ditch his arse. "Shhh, you're drawing attention to yourself." Mark declares "This is such a waaanky part of town."
If you are so insecure about it, why are you going there? Mark bellows out loud about finding his jingly waistcoat. "It's got the aroma of 3 Christmases on it."
Nadia tells him to tone down the disgusting this Xmas. Mark swears he just saw James Martin and that he was looking at Nads and Dina. "I recognize those
witches from Croydon." Nadia says people are looking at Mark weird, even the children. Some kids pass by and one made a vomiting sound.
Nadia tells him to stay away from them. "Aww Nads, everyone's staring." "Yeah, cuz you look like a weirdo!" He starts tickling his nipple and sleigh bells sounds go off. Mark asks if everytime he films Nadia, is she going to go away. Nadia breaks into a sprint.
Mark is asking where is this place, why did he park so far. The Croydon duo said Harley Street and he wasn't listening. Mark gets all snippy and Nadia says to him not to talk to her. They pass a cafe with a purple and gold balloon arch and Mark starts shouting "Look at these hemorrhoids!"
He is such a child. Mark says all he sees in the back of Nadia's head to which she replies "That is all you'll be seeing." A bit of window shopping and Mark says "There are those
bleeping buttons again." Dina loves the sailor buttons. "They do kinky things for me." Mark sees a Pret.
We have Pret in Canada, but they are stuck in select A&W's, which are burger joints. Too cheap to commit to proper real estate. More window shopping. The camel coat is 695.00, blazer is 1120.00, trousers are 345.00. There is a poster up in one of the shops that has 1950s stock looking woman with this in the type "THE REASON I HAVE A CLEAR CONSCIENCE, IS THAT I'VE NEVER USED IT." Mark has just realized how ridiculous he looks, what with all the poshos in Marylebone. "People are choking on their vapes." There is a very clean and tidy doggie in one of the shops. Dina says it's an opening, because all the people inside have drinks and they aren't invited. Dina says they have to go in and Nadia says NO WAY with Mark dressed as he is. "Have you seen what you look like, have you see your belly?" Dina says take the hat off and hold in front. "That works" says Nadia. Nadia is admiring the coloured glass tumblers. Dina spies the posh charity shop and in they go. Dina pops out to tell us they have a bag in there for 380 pounds. "It is a Mulberry bag." Dina says there is the merry-go-round, they are finally at their destination. They pop into the Oxfam shop. Another well-appointed, looked after dog.
"My nipples are so hard."
When are they getting to this Xmas shindig thingy already? TIME FOR MULLED WINE says the screen and the dancing faery makes an appearance.
It's better than Mark's dancing, I guess. Dina shows us Bayley and Sage, this is Betty would get her turkey from. A gander at the flowers and gingerbread houses. In they go, Nadia lusting after the candy canes. Nadia finds some chocolate bombs with marshmallows, "The girls would love that." Dina bought some gingerbread men candy. Chocolate coins, mince pies, brownies, banana crumble. Nadia finds a Nutcracker ornament and does her demented FIRTHS SIGNS OF KRISTHMAS elf rountine. The Curlies get distracted by mushrooms and Mark says they have gone off piste, but they say FOOD! Dina makes her own cranberry sauce. Nadia has to handle the chestnuts. Cheese. Mark hates piccalilli, says it looks like baby poo.
Dina says she needs to be a window dresser in this shop. We are finally at the fair. Oh look! It's Sophie Ellis-Bextor turning on the lights. She looks 5 mm tall from where they are. There are lights and fireworks. There's Santa's Grotto.
Hey Nadia, go in there and ask Father Christmas for a new improved husband, who is handy around the house. There is a ferris wheel and fake snow blowing around. Now Dina and Mark are demented elves with Nadia frithsignsofkristhmas. Mark has lost his shame and has put his hat back on, spinning around like Mary Tyler Moore, showing off that nasty top of his. Now he is doing dad dancing, ballet style in the street. The sisters are encouraging this behaviour, I guess the Bailey's has kicked in. Verdict: Dina felt it was like Xmas Eve. Nadia enjoyed it. She says they are off to Wimbeldon next.
Mark goes on about Sophie Ellis-Bextor and having a crush on her mum.
Says he was singing I could have been your dad.
Errr, I think that sexual offence territory. He brings up for the umpteeth time about Janet Ellis being the first single mum on TV.
Jesus, change the bloody record will ya? Nadia and Dina have gone to check out the Le Creuset window. Pass the David Mellor shop where it is so posh that even the sisters couldn't go in there.
I swear to God if I have to see those nips one more time, I'm gonna hurl. Mark tells us how they have given us shiny things, fireworks, lights, snow other such stuff, blah, blah. More of Mark clicking his heels, quasi-ballet movements. Shame he didn't impale himself on the iron fencing.
Speaking of impaling. This summer a boy got impaled by his scooter, when he fell off of it, right into his chest. He survived luckily. "Everywhere I look, there are mews, mews everywhere" says Mark with mouth full of gingerbread jelly men. "New Cavendish Street, you can't say that and not sound posh." Again with the nipple. Mark asks if he is not allowed to go out in this top again. "No, especially the hat" says Nadia. Nadia shows us the angels on Regent Street. Dina sarcastic mentions the viewers really getting their money's worth from these shots. Just when you think this vlog is almost over without any more vulgarity, Mark announces that Dina has to fart. She says she already let it go and apologizes as she had lentils yesterday. "ALRIGHT STOP!" says Nadia. Dancing gingerbread men. The End.
She recommended Shaun King on instagram ffs, he’s so biased for Palestine, that it comes across as antisemitic. Plus she’s got the attention span of a goldfish, so how could she possibly watch any in-depth documentaries on the subject. All she does is copy whatever everyone else is saying. If she was watching everything about the conflict, she would come up with better arguments. And Narc just follows the crowd also, his opinions on most things are half arsed rubbish. 
husband is best kept away from females who would fall for him in an instance.
