My partner cheated

[Greysanatomyfan]

This is off topic but tattle this last 2 days had helped keep me sane my partner off 11 years cheated on me with someone at work and left yesterday after me giving him a second chance 6 months ago for the same thing (I know I’m an idiot) and he threw it back in my face but he’s wanting to make it work but is still txting & calling the girl he slept with and stayed at hers as he’s nowhere to go… I’m broken can’t eat or sleep and I’m trying to keep going for my son but he’s only 6 and too young to understand and his dad was hardly there so he’s not asked much yet but when and how can I make this better? I’ve hardly any family and I’m back at work tomorrow and I can’t stop crying can any of you lovely people offer me some advice?

 

[jxhx]

This is off topic but tattle this last 2 days had helped keep me sane my partner off 11 years cheated on me with someone at work and left yesterday after me giving him a second chance 6 months ago for the same thing (I know I’m an idiot) and he through it back in my face but he’s wanting to make it work but is still txting & calling the girl he slept with and stayed at hers as he’s nowhere to go… I’m broken can’t eat or sleep and I’m trying to keep going for my son but he’s only 6 and too young to understand and his dad was hardly there so he’s not asked much yet but when and how can I make this better? I’ve hardly any family and I’m back at work tomorrow and I can’t stop crying can any of you lovely people offer me some advice?

Allow yourself time to grieve as the end of a relationship can feel like a death. Scream into a pillow, don't feel you need to keep a brave face. Take time to heal. Make a list of little goals you would like to achieve for yourself. Look on it as an exciting new chapter in your life. Most of all, take care of yourself as a lot of women can focuse too much on their children to the detriment of their own health. And don't put any pressure on yourself. You will get through this and you will enjoy your lucky escape. You don't need to ever worry about him treating you like this again.

 

[And_that's_okay!]

Glad I found this thread. Found out last week my so called partner who I'm meant to be due to marry next year decided has a baby on the side (baby daddy number 7 for her, most the kids are in care, house is a revolving door knocking shop, looks like she died 6 months ago and someone's dug up her corpse). He is saying he doesn't care and all he wants us me, the kids and our pets. I went no contact and that lasted all of a few days. I already knew before that he had cheated on me with this dog when I was pregnant with our disabled baby but this is permanent evidence of what he did to me. Worst thing is asides from being unable to keep his nob to himself he's our protector, provider, we have each other in tears laughing on a daily basis, we think the same, can read each others thoughts, I've got good punani and love to fuck, he had no reason to this. I've told him I just don't see how I can move or get past this.

"I've got good punani and love to fuck, he had no reason to this"

What?

I'm sorry this happened but, ahem, what?

 

[Greysanatomyfan]

How are you doing @Greysanatomyfan x

I’m doing much better thank you getting my house done up so that’s keeping me busy.. my ex has tried to come back he showed up at 2am but he got sent packing there’s better out there and I deserve to be happy

 

[Greysanatomyfan]

I’m sat here crying at all of your lovely messages I’m broken now and I keep telling myself let yourself be free otherwise I’ll be here again down the line the hardest part is feeling like I’ve let myself and my son down and to top it off it’s my mum’s birthday today she passed away 6 years ago and he didn’t even realise that when he walked out yesterday… I can’t even sleep in my room I’ve slept on the couch well if you can call 3 hours sleep

 

[ChubClubThug]

This is off topic but tattle this last 2 days had helped keep me sane my partner off 11 years cheated on me with someone at work and left yesterday after me giving him a second chance 6 months ago for the same thing (I know I’m an idiot) and he threw it back in my face but he’s wanting to make it work but is still txting & calling the girl he slept with and stayed at hers as he’s nowhere to go… I’m broken can’t eat or sleep and I’m trying to keep going for my son but he’s only 6 and too young to understand and his dad was hardly there so he’s not asked much yet but when and how can I make this better? I’ve hardly any family and I’m back at work tomorrow and I can’t stop crying can any of you lovely people offer me some advice?

Can you take an emergency sick day when your child goes to school to get some rest? You need sleep or you won't be able to think straight. Don't be hard on yourself. You're allowed to cry. It's the most destroying thing that can happen. What a horrible man to treat you both like this.

Please remember that it's NOT your fault he's a cheat! He's a scumbag who's taken advantage of your good and caring nature by the sounds of it. As hard as it is, you have to start blocking out what HE wants and what suits him from now on. He's made his choices. Start putting yourself and your child first. He's let you down and used up all of his chances.

When you've got a chance I would contact the benefits people to see if you'll be entitled to anything and if you can claim maintenance from the child's father. It doesn't sound like you can rely on him at all for anything. There is no quick fix to a situation like this, you just have to give yourself time to adjust to new routines. It'll take a few months but honestly you'll get better and stronger

 

[MRSgs]

Do you need a break up buddy?! Although my partner hasn't cheated (at least I don't think) he's decided after 5 years he no longer loves or wants me. He is selling the house ect, what a bloody mess! I hope you're OK, it's horrible isn't it. We will be OK

 

[taleoftittletat]

I can only repeat what’s already been said, that you will get through this and it’s not your fault.

I’ve been where you are now, my ex was cheating on me, stopped seeing the girl when we found out I was pregnant with our twins, but then went right back to her the night I had a miscarriage. The emotional and mental torture of it all, I don’t know I endured it. He told me he loved us both for different reasons but that I was his family, his life and he would never leave me. It was pure hell. About a week later something in me just snapped, I dropped all his bags on her front garden and he had no choice but to live with her.

Those next 10 months were hell, knowing they were together and I was alone in the most pain I’ve ever felt. But then I met my now partner, by chance. We have two beautiful children and are getting married in 2023. I suppose what I’m trying to say is, life goes on and something better is around the corner you just don’t know it.

My ex and her lasted 10 months, he’s now shagging people 10 years his junior and has nothing to show for his life. Karma always comes back around. Your best days are yet to come my love and they aren’t with him xx

 

[Greysanatomyfan]

Update update update guys I’ve got a date next week with a very hot and lovely paramedic! Ahhh I’m nervous but excited there’s definitely better out there no more begging for the bare minimum we deserve the world

 

[Greysanatomyfan]

Hey guys thank you for your lovely messages it’s been a week I’m not going to lie it’s been hard there’s been arguments tears meltdowns you name it but we have an agreement in place for our son that if his “girlfriend” is there at all contact stops and he needs to see my son at his parents… he’s paying £50 a week and his phone bill every month but I’m seriously struggling to get over the fact he walked out and is staying with an absolute munter he’s known 4 weeks… I’m being generous when I say this he’ll never get better than me cause who he’s with is nothing more than a place to stay

 

[And_that's_okay!]

This is off topic but tattle this last 2 days had helped keep me sane my partner off 11 years cheated on me with someone at work and left yesterday after me giving him a second chance 6 months ago for the same thing (I know I’m an idiot) and he threw it back in my face but he’s wanting to make it work but is still txting & calling the girl he slept with and stayed at hers as he’s nowhere to go… I’m broken can’t eat or sleep and I’m trying to keep going for my son but he’s only 6 and too young to understand and his dad was hardly there so he’s not asked much yet but when and how can I make this better? I’ve hardly any family and I’m back at work tomorrow and I can’t stop crying can any of you lovely people offer me some advice?

You're certainly not an 'idiot' for giving him a second chance.

It's bound to hurt. I've been cheated on and my god it absolutely rips your heart in two doesn't it.

Firstly, this isn't anything to do with you. It's nothing you did or didn't do. It's him and his problem. You didn't cause this. You couldn't prevent it. Secondly, you deserve so much better. No matter what he says, you do. I broke up with my ex when we had a new baby (I found naked photos and hundreds of messages). I never thought I'd recover. Granted, I've been single since but in my 37 years; I've never been happier. You'll find happiness. Freedom (there's nothing quite like it). You'll smile again. Feel good emotion. Strive.

You're going to be okay xxxx

 

[Elles20]

Tom spoke about it on a show ( it's on Google too) he slept with over 250 behind his wife's back but would never leave her he was devoted to her and said she's most important person in his life ...look at Wayne Rooney and his shenanigans he could have set up home with any of they tarts he was with but he won't leave Colleen so she must be his true love even though he has done that to her

New to the thread but just read this and thought wow.

Ladies, please do not settle for anything like this. This is just so disrespectful and shouldn't be tolerated even if others do!

 

[ChubClubThug]

Yeah I have and he doesn't seem to want to give me a reason just ' I don't know ' and ' I'm sorry '. Not good enough is it really. What was the point in doing it?

It sounds to me like he gets off on the rush and thrill of the secrecy and forbidden fruit, rather than sexual gratification. It was probably an ego stroke. They never cheat with better only easier as the saying goes. Sorry, but did you say he fathered a kid with this woman?! He'd be a dead man walking, I'd never set eyes on him again after that!

 

[Its-all-about-me!]

This is off topic but tattle this last 2 days had helped keep me sane my partner off 11 years cheated on me with someone at work and left yesterday after me giving him a second chance 6 months ago for the same thing (I know I’m an idiot) and he threw it back in my face but he’s wanting to make it work but is still txting & calling the girl he slept with and stayed at hers as he’s nowhere to go… I’m broken can’t eat or sleep and I’m trying to keep going for my son but he’s only 6 and too young to understand and his dad was hardly there so he’s not asked much yet but when and how can I make this better? I’ve hardly any family and I’m back at work tomorrow and I can’t stop crying can any of you lovely people offer me some advice?

Oh hunni you can do so much better than him!! I know it doesn't feel it now but you and your son will be ok and are better off without him. Give it time you will start to glow and be happy. Your son is lucky to have such a caring mother. You just need to get use to the new normal (without a waste of space like your ex) sending so much love

 

[CoffeeMamma]

I’m just outside Glasgow my dad and his wife have been up everyday gutting my house getting his stuff packed and they even got me a new bed

he’s phoning me on Friday to make arrangements for my son on Saturday and set up the standing order so he can send over money weekly I just feel like I’ve done nothing but love him and im the one struggling and he’s away living his best life it’s a complete kick in the teeth

Living well is the best revenge. My therapist always says men move on dead quick and regret it later, women grieve and heal, then succeed later. So basically you’re nailing it even if you don’t feel like it

Just echoing more of what everyone else has said.
I was in a dv marriage for 10 years & finally LITERALLY ran out the door in fear of my life with nothing but what i had on.
That was 17 years ago &, im alive to tell the tale.
NO MAN is worth taking for.
Ask yourself if this was a friend going through what you are-what would you tell them?
We are all here for you.
Never ever forget how AMAZING you are

Woohoo!! You GO girl

 

[Lilbear1]

Just echoing more of what everyone else has said.
I was in a dv marriage for 10 years & finally LITERALLY ran out the door in fear of my life with nothing but what i had on.
That was 17 years ago &, im alive to tell the tale.
NO MAN is worth taking for.
Ask yourself if this was a friend going through what you are-what would you tell them?
We are all here for you.
Never ever forget how AMAZING you are

 

[Greysanatomyfan]

On the upside my dad bless him bought me a new bed memory foam mattress and mattress topper and it’s even better than the bed we had that’s going to the tip… upgrade for me

 

[Nannycaff54]

You will get through this. I returned home after working in Spain for a week only for my husband of 30years to tell me he was moving out, he had a flat and could the divorce go through quick because he’d booked his next wedding. I didn’t see it coming. Alright, he was very mentally abusive to me telling me I was fat and ugly and who in earth would want me. I have been on my own for 20 years now as I still believe what he said about me, but do you know what. I am so blooming happy doing what I want when I want. Some men just aren’t worth getting upset about. It will take time, give yourself time to grieve. If your son is interested in any sports or hobbies encourage him to join any club, that will give you a reason to go out and interact with other people. You are amazing. Sending love x

 

[Cat33]

I’m so sorry your going through this. I am also going through it. 8 weeks ago I discovered my husband of 21 years was having an affair. I also discovered he had set up Snapchat and Twitter accounts in a fake name to obviously message other women. I have two children and we are all heartbroken as we never suspected anything and we thought he was the best husband/dad so it been a massive shock to us. My children were with me when I found out about the affair. They are 17 and 12. He has moved out straight away and is living with a relative.

 

[mozzarellagirl]

not people in this thread talking about forgiving and staying with cheating men get some self esteem