Mumsnet #7 Tinkly little laugh

[BethanyGilbert]

I saw a thread on there this morning about someone wrongly being delivered 100s of hand towels. And someone accused them of boasting about it. Like wtf!

 

[pommobear]

Oh god tell me about it. There was once a thread, I'm not really sure what the actual question was, but the OP was asking something about her chilli/bolognese recipe. Guess what the recipe was. Beef mince cooked with tinned tomatoes. That's it. No salt or herbs/spices, no veg.

My in laws don't have salt on chips. On CHIPS. A crime against humanity.

I'm very pro salt, I'd rather die a few years earlier than eat unseasoned food all my life thanks

Competitive under eating MN threads are my favourite - you know, the whole "I ate half a lettuce leaf at 6am AIBU to think this is plenty until my cup of air at dinner time".

 

[FrannyGallops]

What on earth do they think he’s done? I’d just think that OH had fucked off to MaccyDs!

Same. But if you’re worried your fella has done a runner with the kids, would your first port of call be MN anyway? Especially if you’re of an anxious disposition because you’ll just get wound up with posts like ‘this happened to my dog’s best friend’s owners cousin. Her DH picked the kids up from school once and he fell into the Bermuda Triangle, never to be seen again’.

Besides which, it had been ONE HOUR.

 

[Sw4]

OP looking for outfit inspo for a first date.

I despair. BOOTCUT JEANS? And high heels are DATED? How are all these Mumsnet users married?!


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A summer dress with a tshirt underneath? Wtf?

 

[Crabbypatty00]

Oh my god I've caught a live one! The mad woman who is completely delusional strikes again! Is the Crumbs or something?

A quick Google lens search reveals that this mumsnetters photo of "her bedroom" is infact an advert for William Morris wallpaper. I'm so happy I've caught one in the wild.

Edit: apparently I'm late to the busted via Google lens party

 

[Gym&Tonic]

There’s a ‘lockdown was horrible and ruined my life‘ thread running at the moment which is now about fifteen pages long and full of them all trying to outdo each other at how terrible it was for them. This is in response to another unrelated thread where someone said they’d actually enjoyed lockdown because it removed the pressure and expectation to socialise. A lot of them are moaning that they’ve put on weight which in MN terms is probably about 2 pounds or something I however loved every minute of it. I’m an introvert and I feel it was our revenge in that it made extroverts realise what its like to be us for a change!

 

[maytoseptember]

I’m surprised any of those competitive undereaters know what a bacon butty is

Saying things like “Do people still eat bacon these days? It’s so bad for you. I haven’t witnessed someone eating a bacon sandwich since the 90s”.

 

[pommobear]

Bacon is fine in moderation if you cut the fat off but I’d forgo the bread because CARBS. Come over to the low carb boot camp thread OP, where you can feast on delicious cobwebs and yummy air instead.

MN low carbers are the most batshit collection of people known to mankind. I remember when I was in the vulnerable throes of post natal depression and attempting to lose some of the 4 stone I'd put on during pregnancy, I decided to try a bit of low carbing and posted on those for support. Never again. I was told that the grated carrots I had in my salad were no better than haribo. Absolute bellends, making bread out of eggs and suchlike.

 

[Pebbleybeach]

The OPs child had a 4 year old hamster which had to be put down around a year ago and the vet charged her £30.

Shortly after she got another hamster for the child which had to be put down today. That hamster was 11 months old and had ovarian cancer (I’m not sure how you know a hammy has ovarian cancer but fine). This time the vet charged her £101.67 !!!! for the pleasure because it included the cremation of the poor thing. Daughters school has mysteriously closed for undisclosed reasons and won’t be reopening so she can’t dispose of the dead hamster herself.

OP was furious with this because now she can’t afford Christmas and wants her money back!! She used to earn over £60k (of course) but now can’t work and is on benefits. She got the hamster after an accident which killed her husband and made her disabled.

Chaos ensued, everyone arguing, why didn’t she ask the price if she’s got no money, telling her to ask for the hamster back. Then they all turned on OP and she made out everyone was against her because she was a “scummy single mother on benefits”, but actually nobody ever said that.

It was a really good one. 10/10 Monday night entertainment!

I’m really confused why the daughters school being closed means she can’t dispose of the hamster herself… do they let you bury hamsters on the playground?

Hamster ovaries must be tiny!

 

[Serene Serena]

Poor you, I hope you feel better soon.

They love nothing more than a pile on there. I was reading a thread earlier, about a work situation. I admit I skim read the OP but it reminded me of a work situation I had once upon a time. I was the newbie on the team, and one woman on the team constantly needled me with smart comments, supposedly funny.

If I said anything in return, (I seldom did, I was young and wet behind the ears) the others would rush to her defence, aww Joan is so funny, she is just having a laugh. I moved on and only heard in later years that one day Joan turned her bitchiness on a more senior member (same level as Joan) of the team, and the end result wasn't pretty.
I have no idea if it made any of them think back to telling me she was such fun.

Anyway, back to my point, most of the posters on the thread launched an attack on the OP. She is wrong and they don't see the problem with what the guy at work was saying to her etc.

I'm currently working with a woman who is nearing retirement age, but whom the rest of my colleagues hold in absolute thrall. She comes out with the most staggeringly bitchy comments, mostly aimed at me, and when I confront her, I'm told I'm lacking a sense of humour. She's also a horrific racist. She sent me a Facebook friend request and I took great pleasure in blocking her sorry arse.

To be honest, I'm old enough and ugly enough to stand up for myself, and if I posted about her on Mumsnet, I'd be told she probably has dementia because she's over 60

 

[sistersofpercy]

I can't knock the Dino dress. I have several dinosaur related clothing items

 

[Serene Serena]

Haunch of venison?

Bet she has Heron Food’s version of Turkey Twizzlers, potato wedges (cos Christmas), baked beans and a Viennetta for pudding, all washed down with a bottle of Echo Falls.

 

[Pebbleybeach]

I’ve lurked here for a while but I wonder if the suitably seasonal outfit is a Boden Christmas jumper.

A Christmas jumper? And not even Gucci. Haha how tacky. You do know poor people wear jumpers don’t you? My husband wears a tux, as do our strapping male children who tower above me and my very dlim and tiny daughters and I (who is mistaken for their sister) wear something like this

 

[Galinda]

Imagine fantasising about boot rooms and gun cabinets from your tower block in Elephant and Castle. Sad

My parents had Money, their friends had Money, My friends from school had Money. I've not once seen guns kept in the boot room (We always knew it as the tack room but I assume that's what they mean). All the gun cabinets I ever saw were upstairs in an office or a small room up by attics where dangerous shit in general was kept. They haven't got a clue. It's pathetic

 

[Maisie842]

Why do people insist on the abbreviations DH, DW, DS, DD. For fuck sake, if they’re your husband, wife, son or daughter, I think it’s clear you must like them quite a bit. You don’t need to prove your love for them by putting the abbreviation for darling in front of it!

 

[Serene Serena]

The ones that make me smile are those that get angry over sitting on the bed in your outside clothes

Did you read the thread where the dear husband had been to the dentist, had a tooth extracted and went to lie on the bed, because he was in so much pain? The OP was utterly disgusted that he hadn't changed his clothes first. Such sympathy, such compassion! Poor bloke.

 

[Amoo]

The coy 'DH does his hobby' thing really, as Mumsnetters like to say, boils my piss. It also makes me picture a man riding a hobby horse. In fact, if that were the hobby in question, it could indeed be very OUTING!

Another annoyance, well one of many, is when someone single wants advice and you get the smug, unhelpful 'Well if anything happened to my lovely, kind, caring, snuggle buggle boo-boo hubby bear, I couldn't ever date anyone again.'. Yeah, sure. You'd be straight on all the sites with your 'Must earn at least six-figure salary'.

 

[SpindleWhorl]

They'll soon only have Seasalt and Boden to source their clothes from

 

[PrincessCharming]

An actual enchanted forest! My word

 

[nicalibres]

Currently a competitive not sitting down thread on the go i.e to get all your jobs done, don’t sit down from the minute you wake up til you go to bed.

Actual quotes:
‘Yeah I don’t really sit down. I remember in the first lockdown, sitting on the sofa in the middle of the day, and thinking …what is this??’

and

‘I rarely sit down!’

I cannot stand people like this irl. ‘Oh I always need to be on the go, I literally can’t sit down for more than 2 minutes!’. Absolutely fucking draining to be around.