Mumsnet #40 I sit on my throne of potatoes and I laugh

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Millie2023

Captainmouse said:
We’ll all those MN's with their huge salads will be suffering from ecolI! It’s been traced to salad leaves
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Handy for the old weight loss tho <tinkly laugh>
it’s quite often salad leaves, or beansprouts, or something healthy
You don’t tend to catch it from chips, thank fuck
 
Reactions: 20

GirlWithThePearlEarhole

Talking of mugs, a couple of years ago some miserable old trout on MN complained that her GP practice nurse had a mug on her desk saying ’I’d rather be shopping’. The moany fucker thought this was most unprofessional and wanted to make a formal complaint to the surgery as she considered it was disrespectful to be so lighthearted in a formal setting. No doubt she’d also loved to have reported the flighty piece to the NMC and had her struck off. I mean, how dare a nurse have a sense of humour. If she’d seen the things me and my colleagues laughed about she’d have died of shock.
 
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pommynoir

Another fan of Pujana here.

you can get it on Ocado, however you can also get Barry’s on it so I stick to that as it’s the best.
 
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bread-pitt

Clickbait said:
Next level nonsense post of the day. Hysterical mother thinks her MIL wants to abduct her granddaughter because she bought a heart-shaped frame to display a photo of her in.
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Next she’ll be wanting to take her to a Marriott to walk the corridors with a trash bag.
 
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Wackie Jeaver

PG Tips. Soz. I am a philistine. And yes, on the far too few occasions I travel abroad, I take one teabag for every morning. Cuppa PG and a fag, breakfast of champions.
 
Reactions: 21

bread-pitt

Serene Serena said:
No wonder you're on a six figure salary. Do you need an assistant researcher?
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I shall respond to you in the style of an oh-so-clever MN text composer.

Dear Serene Serena. Thank you for your message, the contents thereof have been duly noted. Since you previously quoted to myself that you are literally with child, it is my belief that this role would literally not be suitable for yourself. A diagram has literally been provided and I will be making arrangements to see my DSolicitor in the morning and I request that you do not enter into any further discussion on this. Or I will literally call you out.

Head tilt. Tinkly laugh.
 
Reactions: 20
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Millie2023

Our tea = Joe’s. We have one of their catering packs (100 bags) delivered every 6 weeks, which is probably the most Mumsnet thing ever, but it’s my one indulgence (apart from wine, chocolate…..)
I do limit my intake and interspace it with non-Joe’s tea, even though it’s only 23p/bag.
 
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cowtastrophe

I used to get Brew tea which I loved but was stupidly expensive mainly by stockpiling vouchers then buying several boxes at once when it was on special offer. Sadly for me, they stopped doing vouchers for it and it went up in price to £8.95 and I basically went ‘fuck that’ and changed to Twinings EB.
 
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50degreesnorth

I couldn’t drink tea as I’m not a drug addict <tinkly laugh>. And it’s fucking minging you wronguns

I have the help go out to the celery orchard and juice a few fresh stalks to hydrate me when I awaken. This keeps me going until dinner time when I have a massive bag of ecoli.
 
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TheMiceInTheShed

a woman at the other end of my village has bought all the houses in her road so she doesn’t have to deal with neighbours

@50degreesnorth - I hope every single one gets rising damp, rats moving into the walls, and all the rooves* blow off.

Why not just buy one place miles from anywhere, instead of taking homes out of an already desperate market?

*Rooves? Roofs?
 
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50degreesnorth

Because she’s an absolute fucking cunt. We are v rural (think outside M25) and it’s gone down like a lead balloon here as people’s children wanted to “move back” and she’s essentially hoarding the housing stock. She’s a blow-in who has blown (!) 5 year’s worth of desperately trying to integrate.

*We love new people. We don’t like cunts.
 
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cowtastrophe

I have so many questions about the woman who bought the street. Don’t the empty houses need maintenance? Is she very rich? Why not just buy a single house in an isolated area?
 
Reactions: 11

dressinggownofdoom

I’m a Punjana super fan and I will go NC with anyone from Northern Ireland who drinks anything else. Surely that is some kind of treason.
 
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TheMiceInTheShed

Some people are just arseholes.

There is no other explanation.
 
Reactions: 8

Fledgling Psycho

Not sure if already mentioned as haven't kept up with this thread, but the Dulcolax Devil thread on MN gave me a good laugh.
 
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50degreesnorth

cowtastrophe said:
I have so many questions about the woman who bought the street. Don’t the empty houses need maintenance? Is she very rich? Why not just buy a single house in an isolated area?
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It’s a very long dead-end road with houses few and far between and it’s relatively cheap here especially if you swoop in during probate so it’s not like buying up a south Ken street.

Yes, it’ll have to cost in maintenance- at which point she’ll probably find that through Airbnb, but she won’t call t Airbnb because “she’s a crunchy Airbnb, not a regular Airbnb “.

I have other proof she’s a MN-er. She’s one of those who claims her children’s favourite foods are lentils, they simply adore wooden toys, would HATE a TUI holiday/caffeine/UPFs/prospect of fun.

She told me the high school child ASKED for an old flip phone just to send texts just in case.

Which contradicts the petition my children were asked to sign this week demanding Crunchy Mum joins the modern world and allows her teenage children a smartphone (petition written by this woman’s child).
 
Reactions: 14
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