Mumsnet #40 I sit on my throne of potatoes and I laugh

[Itchy of Itchington]

The thread about nuts and allergies on a plane is very boring but does feature this post which might be the most Mumsnet thing I've read... well...today at least.

 

[yessenia_d]

And obviously it wouldn't be a mumsnet fatty bashing thread without mentioning how slim people are in France

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Now, I'm not one to usually say this but

MOVE
TO
FUCKING
FRANCE
THEN
YOU
FUCKERS

Everyone's mental health would improve substantially. Maybe.

 

[Backendofabus]

Started a diet so ventured into the mnet diet section, saw this and made a hasty retreat.
No honestly, no disordered eating there

 

[Geetbo]

Starts with a Freddo and before you know it you’re off your box on crack.

 

[50degreesnorth]

I went to St Stabbings of the Holy ASBO so I'm not expected to earn that much obviously.

I went to a grammar - y’know - where clever poor kids go - and back all those millennia ago it wasn’t about buying a £££ house in the catchment or being tutored from in utero. MN hates grammars - it highlights their failings.

Obviously I send Titus and Jude private. I just cut back on essentials. They eat at school and I sniff a canapé at open evenings and it keeps me going all year. We live in a cardboard box in the shopping centre carpark and warm ourselves in icy Puddles. If I can do it, I don’t see why you can’t. It’s because I love my children more than you do.

 

[LilyPond]

Ran here to post this
View attachment 2985279View attachment 2985281

This poster is on my personal shit list. Any chance she gets she lists her exercise regime and boasts about how fit and toned she is despite being 900 years old (or something). Total fanny.

 

[Audaciter]

Vingt-quatre! Quelle horreur!

I know. I should probably go and be ashamed somewhere. Except, fuck that shit. I am who I am. My value isn’t different because I’m fat. I’m kind, clever, nice, funny…

I dieted for over 40 years and all it did was fuck up my basal metabolic rate and make me unhappy.

Since I stopped dieting I haven’t lost weight but I haven’t gained it either.

Those sanctimonious bitches can fuck off. I’ll be here, eating whatever I want whenever I want it.

 

[cat_follower]

Oh thank fuck, here’s another twig-and-radish gobbler who’s taken time out of another hauntingly miserable day in their sad wee life to tell the fats off Today’s fat person faux pas: eating food that tastes nice. That’s us fucking told!

 

[Jasminexx02]

This was the worst I saw on the embarrassing doctor stories thread

 

[BlairWaldorf86]

Where do you go to get an MOT that tells you what your biological age is? Humble Brag Fantasy Land?

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall… who is the biologically youngest 70 year old of them all?”

 

[Freda Fandango]

Fuck me, I'm glad I'm not the only one with spidey Noddy senses.

On mumsnet when she was spitting feathers about the tiny car I took the gentle piss with a French quote before the thread was deleted.

I got a long pm from her which I thought christ thats a bit intense but didn't reply.

She then popped up here with a cute username and appeared very popular so I thought my spidey senses had deserted me.

 

[bread-pitt]

I had no idea who Audrey Chawner was so I went down a rabbit hole…
---
On ABU someone’s husband bought a sausage roll and a family-size bag of sweets at Tesco and already the second response is asking if he has mental health issues.

 

[GirlWithThePearlEarhole]

Poster has bought this to wear for her 50th birthday. They’re all falling over themselves to tell her what a fab dress it is. Oh, and it’s 100% viscose and costs £368.

 

[Miss Begotten]

Poster has bought this to wear for her 50th birthday. They’re all falling over themselves to tell her what a fab dress it is. Oh, and it’s 100% viscose and costs £368.

She has got great legs, but that’s not a dress, it’s a top!
And now I sound like my nan.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

Carb hitler is at it again. I'm amazed anyone ever sticks around on her threads considering how she talks to them all

 

[girlinbrum]

Found a mumsnetter on another website...

 

[Sunlifeover50]

Biwi can stick a banana up her hole

Does that still count as calories in?

 

[girlinbrum]

Sorry but "no foreskin in the game" HAS to be the next thread title!!!

 

[TenerifeTigger]

I can't wait to go on my AI holiday and be pissed from the min I arrive till I leave.

 

[bread-pitt]

On a thread about baking where the OP is frustrated that the recipe she’s following uses cups, not grams, and asks for help with conversions.