Mumsnet #40 I sit on my throne of potatoes and I laugh

[CrimsonCountess]

I can't believe they actually put that much thought into things like this

 

[50degreesnorth]

What an absolute fucking fanny. Own it wench, you CHOSE the wine and the bus - nobody forced you.

 

[Sunlifeover50]

I’m not sure that a scabby fanny is quite the flex that poster thinks it is.

 

[mee43]

Her 6 year old said she felt her personal space was being invaded? Did she really ?!!!!

 

[yessenia_d]

Now not to horrify the Mumsnet Banana Fascists and Diet Police, but I've been staying with some Jewish friends this week and they've been celebrating a springtime festival where it's traditional to make lots of dairy based food, so pretty much everyday for breakfast I've had cheesecake and everyday for lunch I've had pizza or cheese pies. Living the dream, guys, living the dream!

 

[Serene Serena]

What on earth is a ‘sassy’ desk?

One with a row of resin monkeys 'see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil' and a smiley face badge glued to the corner of her computer screen, a sign saying 'you don't have to be mad to work here but it helps' and a hand crocheted cushion on the seat, with 'hands off my chair' embroidered on it and a Live Laugh Love poster blutacked to the wall.

I'm going by one of my colleague's desks btw. She thinks she's very sassy.

 

[Serene Serena]

My DH is part of the search party (he isn’t) and he says the doctor, a close personal friend (he isn’t) has caught the ferry to Rhodes and is currently off his tits on ketamine at a beach party.

 

[ZanzibarDreaming]

I had to google it too.

I read it as someone who actively enjoys sexual pleasure created for themselves, by themselves.

They may use porn to achieve the sexual pleasure, but may not.

They don't want anyone else (directly) involved in creating their sexual pleasure.

Who knew?

Isn’t that just masturbation? Mind you, I suppose nobody wants to self-define as a wanker

 

[veronica71]

As someone who has had to sacrifice my career (and MH!) to support my SEN kids through the state system if I hear the phrase hard working parents once more in relation to private schools I will spontaneously combust.

 

[Miss Begotten]

I suspect BIWI will be maintaining a dignified silence about her not at all shit diet being taken the piss out of on here.

On the subject of famous shags, best I can do is someone who ran to be a Lib Dem MP and lost. I won’t be waiting by the phone for the Sun to call.

Was it Lembit Opik and are you a Cheeky Girl?

 

[Sunlifeover50]

Someone’s squeezed a spot and asked if they are going to get sepsis… how do these people function

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

This was the worst I saw on the embarrassing doctor stories threadView attachment 2977472

"And by 'big and small labia', I of course mean my hairy erect penis, because I am in fact a male pervert who fantasises about female genital injury and unwillingly aroused male doctors."

 

[Audaciter]

I’m really angry about biwi. She’s not a dietician or nutritionist. She’s just some random bitch, enforcing made-up ‘rules’ of her ridiculous brand of food fascism.

She’s dangerous.

Why do those women allow some self-important fruitloop to speak to them like that? Why does MN allow this to persist?
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I’ve just looked at the sign up thread for the most recent one and she’s even a dictator for how people add themselves to the list, the fucking formatting fascist.

 

[sistersofpercy]

My first thought in this was ‘why does he need assisted suicide? Are things that bad at the top?’

and then I realised Gravitas is not Dignitas.

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

I looked at the cost of private education out of idle interest after hearing that people afforded it by not buying new cars or having holidays abroad. If we gave up our holiday abroad it would have covered one child for a term if we were lucky. Chlamidia has done well at her state school and her probation officer has said her criminal record (think murder) will give her extta UCAS points.

I read somewhere that the cost of school fees had far outstripped inflation during the past ten years.

My husband and his sister both went to private school. I looked at how much itt would cost to send my daughter to the same school as her auntie. Our holiday last month wouldn't even get us a term. It's £15.5k a year . For our son to go to the same school as his dad (and grandfather )it would be £16k. That would be all of my net salary on school fees. Unfortunately despite being privately educated my husband does not make a 6 figure salary. I went to St Stabbings of the Holy ASBO so I'm not expected to earn that much obviously.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

Well I’m sure his family will feel much better knowing that Brenda Morris is sorry

 

[CatCafe234]

Years ago, when I was first dating the my partner, he took me home to meet his parents. His mum, God bless her, had a form of dementia and would often say the quiet part out loud. I’m fat, and when we’re talking about cars once his mum piped up with ‘And what about her, does she fit in cars?’ Everyone was horrified but I was killing myself laughing as it was just so funny (and I will hasten to add that I am not that big that I need to be moved in an articulated truck … )

 

[girlinbrum]

Do you think there will be a realisation for them...that as great as 5:2 and intermittent fasting and extreme dieting is...when your time is up, its up, regardless of how much you weigh - life's short so eat that damn cake.

 

[HoGi]

Do you think there will be a realisation for them...that as great as 5:2 and intermittent fasting and extreme dieting is...when your time is up, its up, regardless of how much you weigh - life's short so eat that damn cake.

Nah once a mumsnetter always a mumsnetter.

I had a colleague who's husband didn't smoke, drink or eat fast food, super healthy guy who was avtive 7 days a week. Started limping, found a brain tumour and was dead in 4 months.

His wife moaned that he wanted to eat a whole pack of biscuits and how disgusting it was. He was dying, he had his terminal diagnosis, let him eat whatever he wants, but she wouldn't let him.

 

[cat_follower]

All this holiday panic has reminded me of that mental bbc 3 show, sun sex and suspicious parents. It’s like the ideal mumsnetter holiday, where they can follow their children around secretly, judge everything they do, then confront them at the end and give them a massive bollocking. Wonderful!