Mumsnet #18 Only a calamity away from being an armadillo

[girlinbrum]

What makes them get up on a morning and think I will log on and share a horrible opinion about something that nothing to do with them, that Lewis Capaldi thread this morning has annoyed me. He has twice taken breaks for his mental health he doesn't need the advice of mumsnet.

--
The step kids thread, how many of them are like "it's not my fault their dad fell in love with me" yes cos you're so stunning in your terrible funeral clothes eating the same chicken for a week hiding behind your sofa.

 

[Serene Serena]

Mumsnetters currently love Lewis Capaldi and Harry Styles. They want to mother the former and shag the latter. Both men are young enough to be their sons, in most cases.

 

[PrincessCharming]

Mumsnetters currently love Lewis Capaldi and Harry Styles. They want to mother the former and shag the latter. Both men are young enough to be their sons, in most cases.

They can both mark themselves safe from me. Harry does a great live show, I have to say. I’ll take Lewis fans’ word for it though. I like him but to me his songs aren’t to my liking.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

Mumsnet, starting fights in empty rooms since 2000.

I can't find a thread title suggestion on page 1 of most liked but this is there and I think it'd be perfect.

 

[CoffeeMamma]

Harry Styles always looks like he needs a wash. Lewis Capaldi always looks like he ended up a popstar by accident.

 

[Popcornshovel]

So apparently the 999 call system for was down for an hour this morning.

Thoughts and prayers to any mumsnetters who had urgent matters to log with the police, like a neighbour sitting in their garden smoking a fag or a local cat wandering into their house.

 

[Serene Serena]

They can both mark themselves safe from me. Harry does a great live show, I have to say. I’ll take Lewis fans’ word for it though. I like him but to me his songs aren’t to my liking.

Harry is a great entertainer but I'd rather not shag him, all the same. He looks like he needs a good wash with diluted bleach. Lewis's songs are depressing, self-pitying dirges, although I like the man, he's very self-deprecating and talented.

 

[notanotherusername92]

So apparently the 999 call system for was down for an hour this morning.

Thoughts and prayers to any mumsnetters who had urgent matters to log with the police, like a neighbour sitting in their garden smoking a fag or a local cat wandering into their house.

Ah they’ll be fine. They all hate the police and wouldn’t call them if they were witnessing a murder. They also wouldn’t need an ambulance unless they were actually dead, they just pack up their severed limb and hop in a taxi. Don’t you know the NHS is on it’s KNEES.

 

[Serene Serena]

Harry Styles always looks like he needs a wash. Lewis Capaldi always looks like he ended up a popstar by accident.

Poor Harry. Perhaps we should send him some Origin's Mint showergel so he can freshen up?

 

[CoffeeMamma]

Poor Harry. Perhaps we should send him some Origin's Mint showergel so he can freshen up?

Yep, double dose for the balls

 

[ChampagneBox]

So apparently the 999 call system for was down for an hour this morning.

Thoughts and prayers to any mumsnetters who had urgent matters to log with the police, like a neighbour sitting in their garden smoking a fag or a local cat wandering into their house.

Crying and shaking

 

[Serene Serena]

Yep, double dose for the balls

And those glistening sweaty pits.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

That nude leggings thread has taken the typical turn of mumsnetters all commenting on how horrific it is to see fat women wearing cycling shorts and things like that

I keep seeing very overweight women wearing chub rub shorts longer than their too short dresses! Awful.

Horrific sight during the week. Won’t say where just in case but young-ish very overweight woman carrying a baby and wearing nude, almost see through tight top and shorts. It was utterly awful. She had a bf with her. How’s he let her go out like that??

Leggings were launched for a laugh. Only the terminally dim have failed to get the joke and wear them in public.

I think they were created to make larger people feel better as a usual size 20 can shoehorn themselves into a 12 and feel better about themselves because they're in a smaller size. Testing the elasticity of fabrics to the point they're transparent isn't cute

And these posters wonder why people think mumsetters are a load of cunts.

 

[Serene Serena]

That nude leggings thread has taken the typical turn of mumsnetters all commenting on how horrific it is to see fat women wearing cycling shorts and things like that

I wonder if these women ever voice their thoughts in public? Like a lot of us, I work with predominantly women, who are all manner of shapes, sizes and ages. I wouldn't dream of being judgemental about any of their clothing choices, nor would I say that only women of a certain size should wear certain items.

I firmly believe there is room for all of us though, big, small, average, and I refuse to believe that every single Mumsnetter is a petite, toned, size 6 - 8, who wear classic, designer clothing (or maxi dresses, white trainers, denim jackets and crossbody bags).

 

[Yesweknowyouhavekids]

That nude leggings thread has taken the typical turn of mumsnetters all commenting on how horrific it is to see fat women wearing cycling shorts and things like that

I keep seeing very overweight women wearing chub rub shorts longer than their --- dresses! Awful.

Horrific sight during the week. Won’t say where just in case but young-ish very overweight woman carrying a baby and wearing nude, almost see through tight top and shorts. It was utterly awful. She had a bf with her. How’s he let her go out like that??

Leggings were launched for a laugh. Only the terminally dim have failed to get the joke and wear them in public.

I think they were created to make larger people feel better as a usual size 20 can shoehorn themselves into a 12 and feel better about themselves because they're in a smaller size. Testing the elasticity of fabrics to the point they're transparent isn't cute

And these posters wonder why people think mumsetters are a load of cunts.

Yet their husbands will still always have an affair with their fat older neighbour

 

[Serene Serena]

This is the worst comment on the Nude Leggings thread, in my opinion:

The problem is that when these women stand in front of a mirror they think they look good because they are not moving and the light in their bedroom is flattering.

In reality when walking along in broad daylight and in motion every part of them jiggles and if they are even the tiniest bit overweight or not toned, every dimple and saggy bit is emphasised.

Camel toe is enlarged by the tight fit and breasts are squashed.

The material is cheap and the flesh colours are horribly unflattering.

Usually accompanied by massive eyebrows, over the top false eyelashes, over drawn or filled lips, orange foundation or bad fake tan, coffin shaped false nails, Turkey teeth and carrying a fake designer brand handbag and print Baku wouldn't be able to name who is the current Prime Minister, work out a percentage and think Love Island is the be all in life.

 

[Yesweknowyouhavekids]

Todays men in the white coats take her away nomination goes to the thread in mental health ‘I don’t think I like who my child is becoming and I’m afraid for our future’
Immediately your mind races to an angst ridden 15 year old following an extremist group or pulling the wings off daddy long legs for lols but no. This is a woman who’s two year old who has pushed and shoved some other kids at the park

 

[Iceache]

Gosh I love leggings. I don’t have turkey teeth or fake eyebrows or filled lips though. I bet I look far better in my gym gear than the rest of them do in their £400 circus dresses

 

[Salmonshirt]

This is the worst comment on the Nude Leggings thread, in my opinion:

The problem is that when these women stand in front of a mirror they think they look good because they are not moving and the light in their bedroom is flattering.

In reality when walking along in broad daylight and in motion every part of them jiggles and if they are even the tiniest bit overweight or not toned, every dimple and saggy bit is emphasised.

Camel toe is enlarged by the tight fit and breasts are squashed.

The material is cheap and the flesh colours are horribly unflattering.

Usually accompanied by massive eyebrows, over the top false eyelashes, over drawn or filled lips, orange foundation or bad fake tan, coffin shaped false nails, Turkey teeth and carrying a fake designer brand handbag and print Baku wouldn't be able to name who is the current Prime Minister, work out a percentage and think Love Island is the be all in life.

duck me! Should all of those with wobbly bits (myself very much included) just stay at home in the summer then? I wouldn’t want to subject anyone to the sight of my thighs wobbling after all.

 

[Serene Serena]

I wear leggings and a crop top when I cycle to and from work - I get changed into more Mumsnet approved office attire when I get there.

My leggings are patterned and the top is matching, not nude though, so surely that makes me middle-class?