Mumsnet #18 Only a calamity away from being an armadillo

[Gentlemensrelish]

I cannot lie, the most liked posts were not thread title appropriate unless we wanted to derail ourselves before we even began. So, here we are, a happy band of survival balls.

Summary - MN is weird. It's summer so the trampoline/paddling pool/shrieking children discourse has begun. They will not eat, you cannot make them. S&B almost deserves its own sub-thread.

Enjoy, enjoy.

 

[Goosegamer]

Someone's complaining their partners stepdad has a padlock on a door and he won't let anyone in. They're falling over themselves to tell her to phone the police because he's obviously a nonce.

 

[Codiaeum]

is this the way to Armadillo

sorry, couldn’t resist, it started playing in my head when I read the new title and now you have to hear it as well.

 

[melonpane]

One about why black models always have closely cropped hair, soon to be deleted!

I need to deliver myself from the weight loss section, just read a thread from a few months back where OP get's abused for enjoying a bagel!

 

[bread-pitt]

I cannot lie, the most liked posts were not thread title appropriate unless we wanted to derail ourselves before we even began. So, here we are, a happy band of survival balls.

Summary - MN is weird. It's summer so the trampoline/paddling pool/shrieking children discourse has begun. They will not eat, you cannot make them. S&B almost deserves its own sub-thread.

Enjoy, enjoy.

Great title!
Don’t forget the annual hot tub/sex pond war is due to start any day now too. I always find this one particularly amusing, as someone with a pool and a hot tub. I’ll wager my hot tub is cleaner than their local public pool. I don’t think MNers realize that proper hot tubs (not inflatables from Amazon) have filtration systems and require chlorine just the same as a pool does. It’s the same process.

 

[PrincessCharming]

Great title!
Don’t forget the annual hot tub/sex pond war is due to start any day now too. I always find this one particularly amusing, as someone with a pool and a hot tub. I’ll wager my hot tub is cleaner than their local public pool. I don’t think MNers realize that proper hot tubs (not inflatables from Amazon) have filtration systems and require chlorine just the same as a pool does. It’s the same process.

Can you invite me round please? A swim and some hot tub action are just what I need right now. I’ll bring wine and snacks.

 

[a.pain]

Some of them take fairly normal or common sentiments and just completely run away with them and make themselves look like a complete loon. Like the one I’ve just seen who doesn’t think her MIL should be allowed upstairs in her house because it’s private- except the only toilet in the house is up there

 

[Duchessofmanchester]

Some of them take fairly normal or common sentiments and just completely run away with them and make themselves look like a complete loon. Like the one I’ve just seen who doesn’t think her MIL should be allowed upstairs in her house because it’s private- except the only toilet in the house is up there

I saw that one... I get MIL not going through her underwear but being banned from the entire upstairs? Has she got a sex swing on the landing?
Oh sorry I forgot they prefer a cup of tea instead don't they?

 

[a.pain]

I saw that one... I get MIL not going through her underwear but being banned from the entire upstairs? Has she got a sex swing on the landing?
Oh sorry I forgot they prefer a cup of tea instead don't they?

Maybe I’m immune to this sort of thing because my MIL does our laundry for us fairly frequently so washes my underwear now isn’t that survival ball material if you ever heard it

 

[iieee]

There was an entire 15+ page thread earlier about whether it's OK to do the washing up while your newborn is asleep, and the consensus was no because a baby will forget to breathe if you aren't in the room with them?!?!

 

[Gentlemensrelish]

This feels like entirely new news. I absolutely would leave my handbag in a hotel room?

 

[hmmm_no]

Now I'm dying to know what's in the padlocked room. Dyyyyinggggg.

 

[MrsPiggleWiggle]

Those filthy northerners. We all know the "type" of people who live up north.

The dog incident they are talking about happened just outside the red wall town of... Coventry.

 

[Iamonlyhereforthetea]

Is it due to the heat that threads today have been particularly ridiculous?

There is a woman who thinks her DP is out of order to speak to her in such a negative way - his crime, telling her she has ONE chin hair!

To top it off when everyone tells her that she is mental, her response is to say she feels sorry that everyone on the thread are in such negative relationships

 

[PrincessCharming]

If I sprouted a chin hair, I’d be glad if my husband noticed and pointed it out.

 

[melonpane]

I have chin hairs, and a couple of cheek hairs too.
I always did and am very blonde and the fuckers are invisible until they stray into my eyes or mouth. And then it's like my face is composed of wire wool. If some turd didnt notify me about them spreading into my eyes i would lose all respect for them. I regularly used to snip my partner's ear hairs, we are over 40 and sprouting profusely

 

[girlinbrum]

Am genuinely suprised any of them have husbands - like someone fell in love with a mumsnetter and proposed to them, eventhough they never leave the house?

 

[bread-pitt]

If I sprouted a chin hair, I’d be glad if my husband noticed and pointed it out.

My husband not only tells me but also waxes them away for me. He also does my mani-pedis, and colors my gray “Arctic blonde” roots.

The benefit of having a husband who, at 18, was told by his father “either get a job or go to college or you can no longer use the car”. A job sounded too much like hard work, according to my husband, so he went to the local college and the only class with places available was a beauty class. Husband saw this as two problems solved at the same time: he gets to use the Camaro, and plenty of girls to date. He dropped out after a few months but did enough to be able to cover my basics.

 

[Kay's Good Cooking]

I won't lie to you all in that all this Mumsnet dribble is hilarious - prissy as piss, this lot!
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And this is why we stick to Tattle, as I've just been browsing and seen this post (spoilered because disgusting and involving racial remarks)

Spoiler

View attachment 2217943

They're probably all hooked on Serotonin, white wine and fags

 

[bread-pitt]

Now I'm dying to know what's in the padlocked room. Dyyyyinggggg.

That one is totally insane. There are people telling her to call the police “in case any young girls are missing in the local area”. All because the dude has a lock on his office door.