Mrs Hinch #660 A toe for each day of work

[BeeHappy]

Mrs Hinch #660 A toe for each day of work. New thread title courtesy of @Lotte6058. Thread suggestions are taken from anywhere in the thread. Please keep them short and swear free and clearly marked thread suggestion.

Despite Sophie six-toes claiming she never leaves the house, she’s been out quite a lot over the past week. She’s been to the farm and the zoo, the farm and the zoo, the farm and zoo (repeat ad Infinitum). She has also put a handy guide on her page confirming the layout of the house, what is in each room and where all the entrances and exits are, just in case some desperate would be cat burglar is in need of a top up of mugshots, Cunty Garden Febreze (#ad my own range) or a pestle and mortar. Because, let’s face it, she’s filled the house with tat so there’s not much that anyone with any taste would want to steal!

Today, Dogpie popped out of a meeting for a fag some fresh air and revealed that work is underway on her Tesco reject Hinch Home range. The sum total of her design involvement appears to be sniffing candles and, most likely, drawing on a picture of the candle design with an arrow and the word “wick”!

Welcome to any newbies or lurkers. You have found your people! The wiki is the pink button at the top and thread 500 will give you all the background info you’ll ever need.

 

[Andioooop]

What the fuck is going on here then ffs, filter must have slipped in the wrong direction

 

[Gardengirl]

... And then we went to the zoo... And we saw some aminals... And we fed some donkeys... And we played on the swings... And we jumped on the twampoline... And we went to the shop... And we bought a present for nanny & grandad... And then we went home.. And then it was now.

By Sophie Rose, aged 44

Fucking hell

 

[motherofdonkeys]

Slopha's fave candle scents include:

'smug' - the aroma of sweaty arseholes mingled with a touch of narcissism.

'twat' - smells like someone's farted and using a filter to pretend they didn't.

'lazy' - don't even bother lighting it, it's not even got a wick the quality is so shoddy.

 

[SunshineRae]

The only thing wrong with that kids eyes is that they’ve only ever seen shades of grey, greige and white so they probably hurt from the brightness when he’s out and about in the real world from all the colour!

 

[Dancing_in_the_dark]

A fucking busy Board??? That would be fun and appropriate if they were like 15 months old, you know actual toddlers but fuck me in the arse with the oven ready one, that is not an age appropriate toy for them

 

[Fluffy20]

“I promised Ron that we could do something that I’ve always wanted to do” and that ladies and gentlemen is Hinch in a nutshell.

 

[Ferguson]

Imagine pretending you look like this...
When you actually look like this...

 

[HinchesSousChef]

I’m so relevant. I’m so popular. Everyone loves me. I change small businesses with my hinch effect. I bought a massive house with all my riches. I have a huge garden with all my riches. I’m so stunningly beautiful with my long rapunzel hair and skin tight clothes. And yet I’m so relatable popping round me mums for a cuppa with her cute little garden and me Nan being all unaware of how fayyyymussh her little Sophie Rose is because I’m just Sopha. Yanno. The one who breaks the internet; made Minkys a thing; published loads of colouring in books and me MEmoir.
Buy my new home range that’s actually my old home range and my candles that wreak of desperation. All the best.

 

[Danielle0120]

I can't put into words how much I dislike this woman, and how much of a bad mum she is, and the life we know those boys have when that cameras off, because let's be real, it's not great when it's on so gives us no hope. She's a nasty of piece and I hope when those boys are older, they cut her out. Or Jamie realises what type of marriage he's into, grows some balls, and takes those kids. Get her help for whatever issues she's dealing with and come out different people. For those boys sakes.

And for the love of god, please take those kids somewhere other than a farm. It's flaming ridiculous.
Get their scooters and go for a walk, their bikes, a park, a football on a field with a picnic, the beach and a paddle in the sea, get their paddling pool out and lock the flaming alpacas away, it's all free.

Go swimming with them, go to a theme park suitable for little ones, do something and let those little boys live, they might gain some fucking emotion, and some sort of spark, the pair of robots.

 

[AllieBee]

Next up. A Braille busy board for Blind Ronnie. #Grifted

 

[kateG]

What the fuck is fun for the kids about putting a rolo on top of a cracker?

I’d rather try to fit a tampon up my urethra. It would be more interesting than her content.

She is the definition of an idiot sandwich. Gordon Ramsey needs to pop round and have a word.

 

[Wize Owl]

To be honesssssscht I’ve found today’s content from Sopha-Six-Toes could have come straight out of a Brothers Grimm story....

The apples from the Snow White story, except the Wicked Witch was Sopha giving Lennie a juicy red apple tending it was the one from the tree in the garden.

Then there’s Granny.... straight out of Little Red Riding Hood.... except a bit of role reversal needed as Granny is a goodun in this version and Sopha is the Wolf

Instead of asking about the Pink Stuff Granny actually asks this....

Sopha’s Granny: “What big eyes you have”
Sopha: “All the better to eye fuck myself with”

Sopha’s Granny: “What big teeth you have”
Sopha: “All the better to tend I’m just like Love Islanders with Turkey Teefff”

Sopha’s Granny: “What big hands you have”
Sopha: “All the better to point to fings with my claw to flog my tat to the hunzzz”

At this point in the alternative story JimbobNoNob walks into the kitchen....

Sopha’s Granny to Jimbob: “What a small nob you have”
Sopha the wolf shuts Granny in the PANTR Y while JimBobNoNob goes and changes out of Janine’s underwear

The end.

I’ll show myself out.......

 

[Wize Owl]

Here’s the Fusssshy Food Platesssh she didn’t show

Sopha complete with some schluggsssh for eyebrowsssh

Annnnnnd JimBobNoNob

 

[BBC1HD]

Not a thought in that head is there

 

[Star15sh]

Lonnies afro is out of control

 

[beanpole]

So she goes to a £5000 a night hotel in London and wears leggings and manky trainers but wears a two piece co-ord and sandals to fresh and up Friday…. Right

 

[Rach8456]

SoFeeE I fInk u Av cRasHed t’IntErnEt hUn Fucking get a grip.

I hate myself a little for doing this but I want to stress I am not bodyshaming, she has a perfectly normal and wonderful figure. But she filters herself so much that it’s beyond a joke. She’s thicker round the middle than she wants us to believe, and her entire head and neck is so altered it’s like a different person. ATV!

 

[Danielle0120]

Another farm? We've been out since about 930am at this gorgeous place with a huge river running through the middle a big grassed area, cafes, icecream shops etc. We're only just leaving now.

I packed a big picnic, drinks, swimming costumes for my 3, little floaties etc, and my kids spent the whole time in the river. Looking for fish, building mud castles, building rock bridges, you name it. They did it. It's free apart from icecreams and coffees and they're knackered now.

Why doesn't Hinch do anything like this? Doesn't have to be local. We've drove about an hour and 15 to our place. Not everything needs to be farms and bloody soft plays. Those little boys haven't lived.

 

[Pumpkins1506]

Fucking hell. Her life is about as joyful as epilating your fanny.