Mrs Hinch #537 Talk to Ronnie properly and you’ll be amazed what he will say back

[☆MagicRoundabout☆]

OMG, can you imagine a Barbie and Ken version of Sopha and Jimbobmirrorbumbuminnit They’d loveeeeeee it

Sopha would have loads of accesssssoriessssch, including: Dyson dryer, GHDs, Eyebrow sharpie marker pen, the Fucking Fluffheads and Hennerz..... Not many outfits though, just filthy loungewear, hairbands/bows and huge shoes for her footz. She’d have so many catchphrases “I’m obsssesssched” “I loveeeee it” “Cackle Cackle” “Boysssssssch” “Guyyyyysh” “If i’m honesssscht”

Jimbobcreepyslob would have a hand held mirror (never going to get that image out of my head @Danielle0120 ) packets of cigarettes, a phone to creepily record and his clothes would be a white vest, grey joggers and flip flops. If you press him he’d shout “Oi Oi Schweeet’arrrrt” and some sort of wheezy inappropriate comment. He’d obviously have a teeny peeny

There could also be a Fiddle version with her stun gun and she could have Fiddly Fingers and say “Oohhhh Jamieeeee” And a Weepy Al version with his tears and his workshop.... he could sing a Tom Jones song while working

I’m never going to sleep tonight thinking of all of the possibilities and I have that “Barbie Girl” song on my brain now” “I’m a Hinchy Twat on a Hinchy ‘tend Farm...”

I can't sleep anyway & cackling my head off reading these endless possibilities! Dolly Sophie would also chant "Mammaz!" & "Bittty". The accessschories, kittttchiin tend vomlettes, rubber glaaaves and Inch's bedside box with personal "toys" (Mirror, magnifying glass, microknob condoms
The Fucking Fluffheads, Crap hay feeder that collapses, Weeping Al filling up the soon to be pool in the Ssschecret Garden and Fiddle with her clenched cat's arse mouth looking like she's eaten a live wasp!
The pink silk purse with contents come free with every purchasssse!

 

[Swedish chef]

She's also following this expensive outdoor furniture company. She'll be on the beg I'm sure...

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What? No, I need Weeping Al to knock up some outdoor furniture, because yanno it means so much to Sopfa and Inch. I want to see repurposed MDF panelling, crates and floorboards made into totally inappropriate outdoor seating for the WW.

 

[chocolatestrawberry]

I can see I’ve really not missed much when I’ve been juggling full time job and full time mum life. God sopha must be exhausted…

 

[Samseal]

Watch out watch out there’s a Humphrey pervy spying creep about

 

[Pumpkins1506]

Feeling fashionably Moss today, my lazy SAHM arse has been kicked by an 8 hour shift doing something like work (it was voluntary but similar to my old day job). I'm in awe of all of you PROPER (not you Soph) working mums because I've totally forgotten how to be one.

Funny that the Maldon 3 were penned in today, and not roaming free. Something's gone wrong.


Also, wasn't it Jimbob who said about the neighbours? Not to defend but the Q&A story from Soph was deliberately vague and could well have been talking about press or general weirdos, not necessarily neighbours. I'm sure Jimbob specifically said.

Ignore above, I got mixed up!

 

[remote_hummingbird]

So many bad things, you can Google a lot of it.
The shock cans (I think they're called) literally blew holes into peoples houses wheb used on or near radiators. People feeling really unwell using them as the scents are so strong. They claim to have the leaping bunny on the side but just designed their own label to say cruelty free... there's more but they're just a gross company from the replies I've read about their products. I wouldn't bring it into my home personally.

To keep it on Grinch... if she is using that in the home I really hope she is ignorant to all that stuff.

Eurgh, thanks sounds awful. (I had an unsuccessful google, so appreciate you taking the tine to answer).
Also sounds like it fits in well with her very much non planet-friendly approach to cleaning and life..

 

[daffodilgirl]

The neck is back on her stories

 

[Lilo and Stich]

Who dis

Her wonky eye from the filter

 

[Tootle Pip Wiz]

A mix of puke and visual infection on a plate!

Certainly given my eyes an infection looking at that shit. Am pretty sure we'll see this remade by Sopha shortly if it's doing the rounds on fb. Trends an all that cos she likes to follow the latest things don't she?!

 

[Samseal]

tell me you’re obsessed with a woman who couldn’t care less about you without actually telling me you’re obsessed with a woman who couldn’t care less about you…

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Bloody hell #getalioifehunnay

 

[Unicornishpastie]

Oh I see it’s back..with yet another pre record no doubt

 

[IrishCatlady]

You know what I can't work out, is why Inch is happy to sit back and allow his children to be used/neglected the way that Ronnie and Lennie are.

And what do his family think about it all?

I think the fact nome if them are shown on Insta is very telling and even more so that only the FIL has ever been mentioned

 

[Wize Owl]

I've said this before, but I'm gonna say it again, last year someone on here said Jamie looks like he bends over and looks at his bum hole in a tiny little hand held mirror. And I'll never not think of that comment, it's so true

Oh my days I don’t think I’m ever going to get that image out of my head now

edit: added two replies together.

 

[Swedish chef]

As I celebrate my half century today, being the 70's child I am, and now a nusty old git - here's a re-worked Disco classic to the tune of 'Gloria Gaynor's I am what I am'
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Happy birfffday your crusty ole hen. Have a great day, and swipe up to purchase cruncky snacks with ma discount code.

Happy birthday
Have a fab day! Love you, Whoo hoo hoooooooooo
A 3 night stay at Chewton Glen coming your way! Xx

#gifted

Jesus what even is that…. it made me shudder and why would you put that on social media for anyone to see

Never mind hanging chandeliers around that tend farm I think she would need to have a look at her roof looks a bit wobbly to me unless she’s filtered it surprise surprise

The tend farm house has it's shoulder out, hope that helps.

 

[Pollyanna263]

Ashley James' thread is BRILLIANT - another self-centred compulsive liar about everything and anything.

That’s where I am at the mo, and Beth Sandland (who married her teacher, and her mum has just married the teacher/husband’s former boss )

 

[Squirrelsquad]

Why can she not just buy a little step like the rest of us!!!

My eldest (8) has an en-suite, all normal sizes, hubby is a builder and we did go OTT when we built our house as we did it ourselves so saved ££££ regretting it now I have to clean it! But it’s set up for when he’s a teen, he doesn’t use it that much now so is still brand new, but is great to have an extra shower when we have extended family come to stay and there’s 10+ in the house.

It is a bit silly that she’s made everything tiny as in a few years it will have to be ripped out, so maybe that why it’s been done on a budget. And from my experience a shower would be more appropriate as they get older and into their adolescence, just seems a bit rushed and not a great deal of thought or advice taken.

Be interesting to see her company accounts this year….. everything will cost more than people think- don’t get me started on SS- MIL got an AGA too and the gold handle and hot plate handles she’s swapped to are big money on their own. Costs £200 a year just to service, and it’s obviously a 13 amp which is why she was talking about being on economy 7 electric, so it ‘charges’ overnight and let’s the heat put in the day, they stay on 24/7 her bills will be enormous anyway!! She’s spending hundreds and hundreds of thousands of pounds, and her house cost almost 1.3 million on its own (local to her now and know where it is). Neither are relatable, although I don’t dislike SS and she uses method cleaning which are eco.

 

[Wize Owl]

Faaaank you schweet'arrt! A little different to the carnage parrrtaay of 10 years ago but I'm a proppa old gittt now! So I'll pack my Tena panties admire the wissshteria, enjoy some nice grub, hear some birdies tweeting and the sound of a ticking grandfarrrvers clock!
I'll be checking in!

I jusssssst abssssscholutely cracked up laughing at that, eschpecially you schaying “Grandfarrrvers clock” I hope they don’t have a field of fucking fluffheads near where you’re going, imagine if that was your view I’ll raise a glass to you Schweeeet’arrrrrt and would say ”Bottoms up” but think “Bum Bums innit up” is more nusties xx

 

[Ditzymama28]

I'm sure she's shown those cleaning stories before
Pre-records
Borrrrrrrrrrring first time
Borrrrrrrrrrring this time

 

[Wize Owl]

Just keeps getting better, you are an absolute genius. If I'm honest it's giving me loife, hunnnayzzzzzzz

I’m fannnnnk yooooou Schweeeet’arrrrrt I’ve just had to gargle with some strong mouthwash to try and disinfect my mouth after talking like Jimbobwheezyslob

 

[Wize Owl]

I don't think I can stomach Mr & Mrs Cuntytwat today. Bastards.
@Wize Owl - This week schweet'arrt, "Fat Hens Weekly" will include free Hinch & Inch Voodoo dolls complete with pins!

I can’t stomach the two irresponsible fucktards either

I will happily buy “Fat Hens Weekly” with the Voodoo dolls Next week free crunky snacks