Mrs Hinch #535 Calling your son slow is a brand new low

[Pollyanna263]

There were so many brilliant thread suggestions but I wanted to share the next highest two as they’re just too good


Not the brightest bulb in the overpriced chandelier
- credit @Wonderwhispers2k19


Jaymee has only got one ball
The other .. is in the Entrance Hall!
- credit @☆MagicRoundabout☆

 

[mingeandbracket]

 

[maytoseptember]

Well it’s fair to say I’m a terrible pap and won’t be flogging this to the DM. I’ve blanked out a little girl and no other faces are revealed so I think I’m morally OK

 

[Tootle Pip Wiz]

I bet all the huns are going mental and are feeewwwmin now all her grey crushed velvet shite has gone out of fashion. She's splashing out thousands of pounds on lights and sets of drawers and god knows what other shit, that is totally different to her normal usual grey style. Yet the sheep will be stuck with her 2018 boring colourless crap because they cannot afford to change their decor and furnishings. She will alianate them eventually and they will start to resent her for all the inconsiderate bragging she's doing just lately.
Some people are choosing between heating or eating. What's she choosing? New lights at a grand plus, and sets of drawers at 600 quid a go. What an absolute fucking weapon she is.

 

[Pollyanna263]

Mrs Hinch #535 Calling your son slow is a brand new low

Winning thread title inspired by Dogpie herself.

Thread suggestions taken from page 30 onwards and can’t contain swears.


Just a little one today (not you Jamie) to cover the many fuck ups since Sunday morning.

Amongst yet more distasteful bragging from Sophie Twohouses (flooring; orangery; dog wash with a £500 radiator; exterior panelling; £1,200 cat toy in the entrance hall) she made a faux pas by saying ‘this is how it looked when we moved in’. Was that back in October then Soph when you actually bought Liars Lodge?

She did some ‘tend parenting for the ‘gram (at least, she set up some colour sorting and took a photo), made tinned potato cupcakes (move over Nigella), shared and credited a quote (clevaaaaaa!), and then allowed her human boys a spot on the grid.

She claims that Ron has said Lennie’s name and, while we nusty trolls really hope it’s true, it’s unlike Hinch not to share the moment on her stories for max engagement.

Supermum Sophie wouldn’t lie about Ronni e’s speech, would she…?

The real low point, even by her standards, was the wording she chose, saying it’s okay to “grow slow” about Ronnie’s progress.

She edited her insta post after a comment suggested she should change the wording, but the dippy cow forgot that it was (and still is!) also on Facebook.

Well done Veruca Salt. You keep focussing on what you want, like more animals and £600 bedside tables chests of drawers.
Don’t let a little thing like your children get in the way.


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If you’re new around here, please read the wiki
Mrs Hinch

and thread #500
Mrs Hinch #500 Sophie Hinchliffe: This is Me; Life in Lists (of Lies) - The Tattle Truths


Fiddle is Soph’s mum.
Weepy Al is Soph’s dad.
Inch and Janine is Jamie (please read the wiki).
Jamie is short for James.
Ronnie and Lennie don’t rhyme.
Hinch Farm is not a farm.
Plagiarism is the practice of taking someone else's work or ideas and passing them off as one's own.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

 

[maytoseptember]

Love me or loathe me,believe me I sit on my texting fingers often,because you know I know.
I gonna say it.I'm not sure i like the idea of anyone travelling to Maldon with the sole purpose of getting some insight.
I would expect this of the huns not us trolls

If you’re talking about me, you’ve totally got the wrong end of the stick because - as I made it clear - I was out with my family and just happened to spot them.

Since I’m a Tattler (but not someone who posts on the Hinch threads) I decided to snap a photo.

 

[maytoseptember]

Bloody hell guys, I only posted for fun, I don’t want people contacting newspapers or trying to report to the NHS

 

[Wize Owl]

I don’t get why you would assemble a bed and buy drawers before you put carpets down ?!! oh
And of course it looks like
She is going to have a bath in her bedroom so she can be like stace

Personally, I don’t like baths in bedrooms, that’s mainly due to an unfortunate experience whilst on my honeymoon. The first thing Mr Owl and I noticed when we got to our hotel suite was a large brass looking bath in the bedroom. We decided to try it out… together, Oi Oi. At first it was loveeeeeeely, felt just like when Richard Gere and Julia Roberts were in the bath together in Pretty Woman…..except Julia didn’t drop the soap and spend ages trying to find it and fish it out…and Richard didn’t have an unfortunate incident like Mr Owl and accidentally (while trying not to) turn the bath into a jacuzzi. I was out of there faster than a torpedo leaves a submarine

Also, I don’t want to be driving past Llama Lodge one day, get distracted by a large flash of something and see ol’Jimbobcreepynob climbing in or out of the bath. I’d end up driving into the Fucking Fluffheads ‘tend field

Edit. Cause I fucked up and it added two posts together

 

[Andioooop]

Well her neck has certainly shrunk

 

[Tulip lady]

I don’t get why you would assemble a bed and buy drawers before you put carpets down ?!! oh
And of course it looks like
She is going to have a bath in her bedroom so she can be like stace

 

[maytoseptember]

I was at a park in Maldon today and only bloody saw them

I was sitting in the car waiting for husband and kids to return when an ambulance crawled past. Thought uh oh, I wonder who called them? Saw a man holding a baby and smiling at them. Wondered if he was going to usher them to an injured person but the fact he was smiling seemed odd.

Then it turned out it was just a friendly meet and greet. Kids went in back of ambulance for a look around, blue lights turned on etc. Then I realised it was the Hinches. First time I’ve visited Maldon and there they were. What are the odds?

 

[Eyesopened]

Zoph, I can assure you , YOU are never alone at that house, felt the cold spots yet ?

 

[Wize Owl]

Hennerzzz would like to wish all of you lovely nusty hens a happy Easter with a little song he’s written Seeing as Sopha is having a day off (again) he thought he’d sing it today (Volume needed)

 

[woopdeewoop]

And here she is .. weather forecast for today: a bit shady !
Her quotes are the best

 

[Status:PiningTheBog]

Hi soph, I know you haven’t read here since David Attenborough was a boy, but you might recognise me from previous posts where I’ve criticised your handling of the alpacas (speaking of which, we haven’t seen them halter trained yet, you originally promised to take them for walks……. remember when you bought them all red halters and lead reins? and I said that was really poor practice?) I mean, Henry never gets walked either, so you’re unlikely to walk 3 alpacas. anyway, I digress.
why would you take a feed scoop (you call it a spade because your grasp of the English language isn’t “all the best” ) out into the “herd”, do you not recall the feed buckets you got them? (Again all the same colour so giving supplements or medicine to an individual animal would be more difficult )

But you have a feed room, mix the feed, dish it out and let them eat in peace.
SET SOME BOUNDARIES WITH THOSE ANIMALS
I guarantee you will regret it if you don’t.

 

[Tit.tat]

Are you crying? I’m crying. Let’s all cry. Ffs. Charlotte has really struggled and had an atopic pregnancy. No, it’s kit time for another, sheep. She can’t even look after herself, never mind the two she has then add another.

 

[Pollyanna263]

Sneak peak of the Easter banquet at Notafarm

 

[daffodilgirl]

I could be WAY off here and it’s OK if no one agrees with me but I think I’m starting to see 2 sides to Hinch.

Its like she’s Depressed but can also be Manic at times. Maybe this is the reason she’s not allowed to be alone with the children as they don’t know how she will be when she’s them alone. Will she be manic and danger them? As we’ve seen on her stories with the alpacas. She has no sense of danger.

or will she be depressed on the sofa and simply ignore them and leave them alone to fend for themselves. She’s not very motherly and seems detached from the boys so she could have some sort of PND from having both Ron and Len.

Im saying this because in Jamie’s Stories she’s always huddled up closed off, doing nothing but in the sofa = depression. ( yes he’s a creep for filming her too)

And in her stories she’s always screeching, laughing want want want, brag brag brag = manic , it would also explain the Gretel rants she has it’s part of the mania and hiding behind a filter.

Again I could be Way off, but it’s like we’re watching 2 completely different people.

ETA : I’m in NO way slating her for having either depression or being manic.

 

[Pumpkins1506]

I've been (heavily) on the wines and haven't got the energy to catch up before I pass out but just want to pop in and say:
a) she doesn't need all that shit in the boot to take the boys to their usual hangouts of Tesco/soft play/the new house.
b) wouldn't a bag just do?
c) shein is literally the devil's shit store.
d) just fuck off
e) what a cunt.

Night nusty hens

 

[Hilton88]

Should read “I have just watched Stacey set up her Easter table, and I’m so jealous! Gretel rant time”