I'm pissing myself that she had to get her dad round to help her paint. You're not meant to see brush marks head. If she'd spent five minutes researching how to do it, she'd have used lime wax or the correct paint.
Mrs Hinch #424 Sophie can whitewash perfectly well thank you
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Who wants to play Sophs hinchexpress game, but the tattler version?
In our game we post screenshots with proof of her lies, plagiarised quotes, unsafe advice with the correct advice next door, and the uncatfished version of her eleventy million faces all with her hinchexpress tag
I feel it will be like a public service
In our game we post screenshots with proof of her lies, plagiarised quotes, unsafe advice with the correct advice next door, and the uncatfished version of her eleventy million faces all with her hinchexpress tag
I feel it will be like a public service
About 11 hours now. She’s got to be having an anxiteeeee attack guyshhh
Excellent recap. It was the Jimbob “oi oi” and “jugs” that had me in stitches. 
Will RonnieTheRoadmanHazFutz have another exciting day eating a greasy fry up with Vesticle before spending the day in the garden dodging Lardarse’s piss patches whilst mummaz duz painting?
Will RonnieTheRoadmanHazFutz have another exciting day eating a greasy fry up with Vesticle before spending the day in the garden dodging Lardarse’s piss patches whilst mummaz duz painting?
Hinchexpress she is a head, but suppose we can’t all whip out our credit cards to buy followers though can we?
I honestly live for these and needed to read this to help me smile this morning.Mrs Hinch #424 - Sophie can whitewash perfectly well thank you
Winning Thread Title By @Pollyanna263
(Winning threads are taken from page 40 onwards guyshhh ATV)
Monday continued like another particularly bad episode of The Repair Shop, one where they make your furniture worse than it looked before and the people working on the furniture are the ones crying all the time.
It was a full house at Castle Greyskull with Big Al on painting duty and Fiddle Fingers and Abi on baby sitting duty all so poor little struggling Soph could carry on with her new hobby of destroying 90s pine furniture like some sort of blonde Essex version of Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.
She whitewashed yet another mirror and wants to paint a shelf to match her undisclosed ad mug. Her other mug Jamie, who she is using as her own furniture delivery driver, apparently hates her now after his 125th early morning pick up job, so he is welcome to join us on here as long as he doesn’t say oi oi, jugs, or breathe near us.
Tuesday was a quiet day. She must have run out of paint.
But she got going once she spotted Zoe Sugg, who she shares an agent with, talking about the birth of her new baby and so decided to comment on her grid post. A little while later Soph realised Zoe was getting all the attention so decided to post photos of Lenor and Ron the Roadman on to her grid so that all the sheep could lick her bumbuminnit. When that wasn’t getting enough attention she decided to pretend to be Henry and repost the photo of him with her bloody whitewashed mirror. We all know if Henners had internet access he’d be on the JustEat app not the gram Soph, you’re fooling nobody.
A few minutes later and she posted that she was over at Freda Fiddle Fingers for “an evening cuppa” before bed and yes...you’ve guessed it...to browse Facebook Marketplace for more furniture to paint. Please no more mirrors Soph, there’s now more mirrors in that house than in a budgie’s cage.
At this point there really is no way that she isn’t being paid to advertise for Facebook Marketplace. She has even added it as a highlight. We can fully expect to see a video of Len in his cot browsing it on an iPad by the end of the week.
No one in the sheep community seems to be questioning where all this furniture is supposed to be going and Castle Greyskull is now creaking under the weight of 400 tonnes of pine.
Tattlers have been researching houses sold recently in the area and have a few suspicions on where the pine may be headed.
She was posting before 7am on Wednesday to say she wanted to help the little people’s accounts who are suffering due to the charges in Instagrams algorithms...
This has nothing to do with her frantically scrolling the gram to find out why she’s only had 216 views on her upcycling video after 10 hours... her neck will be in flitters!
Jamie’s job seems to have been forgotten about. Presumably either because
A. It didn’t exist and they were trying to stop us calling him a lazy knobhead.
B. We all sussed he was project managing her new house.
C. He just wasn’t a job person and his job has now gone to the job people.
Quick Best bubs update and Hinch still hasn’t even mentioned Stacey’s new collection from ITS but Stacey did appear wearing some Hinch PJs from her Tessshhhco range.
They look like an old vest and knickers that’s been boil washed grey. Tres chic!
Stacey is also suggesting Princess Pickle’s arrival is imminent so expect a full on Hinch drama verrrry soon!
Wiki is the pink button at the top for newbies.
Ronnie and Lennie don’t rhyme.
Sophie doesn’t have a second name she added Rose in her teens.
Well done @Bunnykins Amazing as per
I feel a dog bed snot fest sob coming up. Proper Blair witch up the nose stuff.
I would buy this said book, just for the laughs and pure enjoyment hahaah.@Bunnykins your recaps are the best! You need to write a book! Would be hilarious! Love the way you write - dead at fat dog Mendoza on just eat
Think so. I can’t see it.@Bunnykins
Has sofaalpacalovingslob deleted the story about heading to mummas forfiddles fresh teat milka cuppa and market place scrolling?
She’s clearly trying to get her own numbers up with this silly trick.
She is isn't she. Pathetic really.
I just have visions of her scratching her head clawing her neck and whining to Jamie that she’s not getting the likes she wants then has a lightbulb moment “it must be algorithms Jamie that’s what it is, my Hinch express will sort that……won’t it Jamieeeee” she’s desperately seeking an answer, when the answer is simple….. inconsistency!
Chopping and changing content to fit, constant lies, having a baby and tend maternity leave disappearing with minimal engagement and stories, letting the sheep wander to new pastures you can’t expect them all to come back, especially if some wandered here during the tend maternity leave, you’ll never get them back!
Chopping and changing content to fit, constant lies, having a baby and tend maternity leave disappearing with minimal engagement and stories, letting the sheep wander to new pastures you can’t expect them all to come back, especially if some wandered here during the tend maternity leave, you’ll never get them back!
Hinchexpress.. Last night's post.... plagiarised QUOTE from Google, couldn't be bothered to proof read and didn't add/remove one of the quotation marks before posting on her grid!!Who wants to play Sophs hinchexpress game, but the tattler version?
In our game we post screenshots with proof of her lies, plagiarised quotes, unsafe advice with the correct advice next door, and the uncatfished version of her eleventy million faces all with her hinchexpress tag
I feel it will be like a public service
bestselling auffor can’t even come up with a sentiment about her own kids, so just plagiarises absolutely everything
what an inspiration guyssssch
I find it funny how she can share her pathetic #hinchexpress but can’t share A Cains foundation! Obviously doesn’t bring her anything so a waste of her time. Quite sickening considering she was the no1 grief tourist during that poor baby’s life and death! 
She used to do the hinch express back in the early days and before having Ron! Should’ve known it was never for the benefit of other accounts other than for herself (I never did do it my house is deffo not Instagram worthy and I’m not into tags and all that anyway) funny how yesterday someone on this thread mentioned she never shares her followers pages on her stories etc sure j read that! But today it’s back to this tit
) funny how yesterday someone on this thread mentioned she never shares her followers pages on her stories etc sure j read that! But today it’s back to this tit
Seems her engagement is as low as her IQ oh dear dear
She’s an author, yet COPIES other people’s quotes and doesn’t reference them. Pretends she came up with the words and sentiment all by herself. Shows you what a deceptive talentless person she really is.
Hinchexpress is her desperate attempt at getting her numbers up. It must be exhausting having to think of ways to manipulate people on a daily basis
big lover of alpacas - wants an alpaca farm yet has never mentioned poor Geronimo - not once!
was all over the Cain family, yet no mention of the Azaylia charity. All quiet. Happy enough to leave comments for the likes of Zoella, but no reference to a charity that could help others. Guess this is like the charity that Hinch and Inch hosted a pub quiz to raise money & awareness, but never mentioned since. All done for publicity but not from the heart. Let’s watch this space, as we all know she reads here…will she won’t she??
Bryan Adams famous song sums these two up - (words changed to suit the greedy Hinches
) “Everything they do, they do it for THEMSELVES”
Hinch express? Who does she think she is the Messiah of Instagram? She really does believe she’s a famous A list Celeb. 
“ When that wasn’t getting enough attention she decided to pretend to be Henry and repost the photo of him with her bloody whitewashed mirror. We all know if Henners had internet access he’d be on the JustEat app not the gram Soph, you’re fooling nobody. ”
This is going to live rent free in my head all day. Excellent recap @Bunnykins
This is going to live rent free in my head all day. Excellent recap @Bunnykins- Status