Mrs Hinch #416 - Now now Tattlers don't be mean, if maternity Soph is dropped by Gleam!
Winning thread title by
@Blondesx40x 
(Winning thread titles taken from page 40 onwards guysshhh
)
There’s not much to update you on guysshhh. The Hinch clan are really shhhhhhcraping the barrel for content at the moment.
Sonic (Scrubber) the Hedgehog went to the Hedgehog people. Free at last from his grey plastic prison he is now living his best life away from Soph and is apparently with an unnamed local wildlife charity. We don’t know why the “RSPC” didn’t turn up to take him after Jamie said they were on their way but it’s highly likely they told him to get a grip and let the poor creature go. He did enquire if they could come and remove Sophie from the sofa where her arse has been stuck for months, but apparently they don’t deal with sloths.
Jamie posted a story of Hinch with Henry to show their “unbelievable bond”. There’s a lot that’s unbelievable about Soph. Her entire life and Instagram account in fact.
Another video of Soph the Earth mother was uploaded. Yet again they chose to try and pretend she didn’t know that Jamie was filming her. Do they want us to think he hides in the plastic bushes with a long lens camera to capture her in her unnatural habitat trying to look maternal with her boys? I don’t know who comes across weirder on these videos her pretending to look sweet and innocent and achieving nothing except looking odd and vacant or Jamie who comes across as a freak who films his wife secretly to upload the videos for strangers on the internet.
He was back on the grid with a post of the kids in their Arsenal kits (separate photos of course!) declaring them to be future players. Surely he’d want them to play for his old team Fash FC?
Soph meanwhile hasn’t been posting but she has been busy following more home improvement accounts and seems to be after a conservatory. Is it for Castle Greyskull or the future Hinch Farm? We’ll have to wait and see but it’s got absolutely nothing to do with her best bubs Stinky Solomon having a conservatory. Nothing!
She also started following Scott Thomas who runs a PR and management agency for influencers like wot she is. Could this prolonged “maternity leave” be a cover for trouble with her current agency Gleam? Is she about to move on? Will Scott be able to make her vaguely interesting?
Inch has been up early this morning with more riveting content including Ronnie at footie class, which looked suspiciously like another pre-record, Ronnie eating crisps and Henry wishing he’d piss off.
He also shared a signed book Soph had been gifted where the sycophantic author declared her scrubbing the toilet bowl out to be inspirational to him. I forget his name but it wasn’t Shakespeare...
This afternoon Jamie went out to buy a BBQ with Sophie’s cash, he sounds like he’s been nagging for one. She told him to buy one because she doesn’t care. Neither do we Jamie.
Important things to note. This is most definitely not the BBQ they had when they broke lockdown laws in 2020 - see Sun article.
They also did most definitely not read Tattle and decide to have a BBQ in the rotting pergola to prove a point to us.
(Eat up Soph as I’m not sure how long that floor can take Jamie’s weight before it gives way).
This week’s most used words are hedgehog, Inch, Nose, Laminate, Carpet, vinyl, flatpack and boring.
Wiki is the pink button at the top for newbies.
Ronnie and Lennie don’t rhyme.
Sophie doesn’t have a second name she added Rose in her teens.
you nusty trolls aren’t a bad bunch! 
literally the way you’d speak to a five year old not your 30 something year old WIFE 
