Mrs Hinch #268 Think Ronnie prefers the plastic food to his mu.... directors cooking!

[FlameIce]

Im dying to know what they look like what did she really think was going to happen to them lol

 

[Poppysmimi]

I remember this too and I think she was saying how she wouldn't be able to cope when he was at school all day..

As for the live, I popped onto it and then quickly left as I panicked! No idea why!

I was also hoping we had seen the last of the the potato Ronnie

That will forever be the gift that keeps on giving

 

[Johnson1901]

I just googled the 2020 policy on this and actual shocked it states they do test on animals. Fuck that I’m glad she’s advertised it then I won’t be buying it again I admit I don’t do enough research on products I’ve used for years! She would sell anything for a quick buck!!

I honestly didn’t know this either!

 

[Incognito_burrito]

Mine have too. But apparently its because our clothes bit is upstairs

Ours is upstairs along with electrical items.

 

[DaimIt]

Ugh god damn 2 man team again
May actually be losing will to go on people.

 

[or JusRollWithIt]

Tbf, back in my party days, the only thing that would soothe my soul the morning/lunchtime after was a greasy kebab or pizza so her craving a Burger King ain’t too bad

But did you rap like Bob Hope and share with millions?

 

[Meeeeeeeeeeeee]

Thank you
just stolen one to use
greedy cow xxx

Me too!! Just need to work how to do it

 

[Justapeep]

It may be because I haven’t yet had a coffee (where’s my maid when I need her?!) but I’ve read this half a dozen times now and still don’t understand

I think I have the same confused look on my face that Zoph has when required to interact with her second born child. I’m just a lowly pastry trolls with a wood burner and a thermostat that’s never been reached the dizzy heights of 20 in its life...

I believe that the post is referring to the Dimplex fire she means steam not steak.

 

[Mummykazzy]

Unfortunately I don't think she's got enough personality to move into other areas like she would like to. You can see how much she has changed since selling her soul to Gleam, but on the recent round of telly and radio to try and flog her book, she's billed as "cleaning sensation Mrs Hinch". As she tries to move away, it's what she's known for and will likely always be known for and as she isn't able to cope with TV or radio appearances, her voice doesn't work for voice overs and she's too old for the reality TV like Love Island, TOWIE etc she's got nothing. She wants the money and "fame" of being Mrs Hinch, but she is likely sick of the cleaning but is unable to diversify as she is all about a quick fix to get what she wants, instead of working for it.

Absolutely... U hot the nail on the head there

 

[Star12]

Ronnie's Christmas present sorted

Pretty sure she posted a video of him with one the other week.

 

[Newcastle 101]

Good evening Tattle trolls thought I'd bless you all with a story because I'm bored & Hinch has had the day off.

Ron - the Teenage Years
It was a Thursday afternoon. Ronnie was at school. Jamie was in the garage with his resistance bands. It was his 15th year on his career break. He was bored shitless, resistance bands in one hand and his phone flicking through Only Fans & Willy Hill.
Soph was having a fag on the pergoala. It was run down with a load of tat. Her hair was going grey and still in a birds nest. Henry the 3rd was having a shit in the over grown sleepers.
Soph typed in 'Tattle.life' so she could read her old threads. They stopped when Mrs Hinch died a small death in 2021. The last thread number was Thread 2832.
Suddenly, Sophs iPhone 92 buzzed. It was the local B&M. She hadn't had a call from them in a while!
'Hello!? Yes it's me, Mrs Hinch. Are you asking me for a comeback? Because ill do it.'
'Oh hello Mrs Hinchliffe. Erm no we're not im afraid. I just wanted to let you know your Ronnie was outside our store kicking footies at the old folk and trying to sell packs of Superkings to toddlers.'
Soph looked at the time. It was 1.30pm. Shouldn't he be in school?
'Oh right okay... ill have a word.'
Soph hung up. 'JAAAAAYYYYMAAAAYY. Ronnies been bunking off school!'
The clock ticked and it eventually got to 3.45pm. Soph was anxiously smoking fags by the back door. Jamie was still getting his Inch away in the garage.
The front door flew open and Ronnie dived in. Soph ran through the door
'Ey! You little SHIT. Where the fuck have you been? Outside B&M at 1.30? Why weren't you at school?'
'Fuck you Mum! I'm sick of going to school! They all just show me pics of me when I was in the bath when I was like 8 months old playing with a lit up toy. They all tell me to suck a spaghetti hoop. And they always ask me what kind of pastry I'm having for tea!!'
'I'm not arsed Ronnie. Where are my fags? I was looking for my Superkings'
Ronnie scoffed and took off his blazer and lashed it on the floor. 'I'm going to play COD. I'll have turkey dinosaurs, waffles and beans for tea Mummaz.'
Soph sighed and popped a fag in her mouth.
It was teatime. Soph had made turkey dinosaurs. 'Ron darling! Time for tea my precious!'
Ron came stomping down the stairs. Face in his phone
'So Ronnie, how was school?' Asked Jamie, typing in a bet on his phone
'Bloody hell Jamie, he didn't go to school, he bunked off and terrorised the village of Maldon'
'God Mum! It's not a bloody village! And stop trying to take pictures of me eating!'
Henry the 3rd was growling under the table trying to get one of Ronnies turkey dinosaurs.
'Oh he's growling Ron!!! Let me make a montage!'
'I'M GOING TO MY ROOM.' Shouted Ronnie.
'Dont you want any dessert love? Ive made your favourite. Kinder Bueno in pastry!'
Ronnie ran up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door.
'I cant deal with this Jaymay. I'm going to my Mummaz for my After tea titty milk'
'OK.' Said Jamie. 'I'm going back to the garage to play on my Only Fans.. I mean resistance bands'
Henry the 3rd ran into the back garden and dropped some turkey dinosaur into the pond of 700 fish. Then he went to have his evening shit in the sleepers.

The end x

Henry the 3rd

 

[SpinachMushroom]

Well she isn’t getting any voids filled by Inch is she

Even if she is I doubt it fills much

 

[Just_Looking_]

What do we think today’s morning montage will be? SS has done a Remembrance Sunday post, will she follow suit?

 

[fannysjohnny]

If only Ma had used the contraceptive pill at the end of the 80’s maybe we would’ve all been saved from this clown show

Probably wasn't in her spec

 

[Instaflop]

Which tattler told me about the glass cleaner with vinegar? Just used it and it's fabulous!! All my shower glass and chrome bits are sparkling - THANK YOU!!!

Also got the Method Almond wood polish after someone said it smelt like marzipan, omg it does and it's divine. Ordered the floor cleaner too!

Instead of Hinch made me buy it, we should start a Tattle made me buy it!


Makes you sick doesn't it? Wouldn't know a hard day's graft if it bit her on the arse!

I love the method stuff, apart from the rhubarb spray but I think I am in the minority of people who don’t like the smell of it.

Unfortunately I bought it when I got into Hinch and it was cheapest from a website where you buy in bulk (and handy for me because I can’t drive) but I have almost got through it!

 

[Frunicorn]

I genuinely am so excited for the "no" phase. It's the worst and drives any parent to the brink of insanity. I remember my daughter throwing herself Gillian Mckeith faint style on the floor in sainsburys because I wouldn't let her have a bottle of lilt off the shelf. Then sobbing that I was "bad" because I wouldn't pick her up
I'd love to see Zoph deal with a meltdown like that!

Btw how is your little Handsomezzzz doing?

 

[Mysay]

All young kids love pressing buttons Soph doesn’t mean you need to fork out £24 for a fake laptop

If she has a third son she’ll need to call him Ronnie the 2nd so he can wear the hand me downs.

Lolz ..i was gonna say ..what's she hailving in between ...then i remembered of course Ron is not the first born ...

 

[fannysjohnny]

Since the new frosted peppermint zoflora is out im guessing grinch wont be giving it a mention

Sounds lush.Can you review it? Betting you lurve it

Aw thinking of you, I would help in anyway possible xxx

me too.You know where i am based if it helpsxx

 

[Jenniet]

Absolutely loving SS clip with Rex this morning Hinch would def have her angry voice going on with her naughty son!

 

[Poppysmimi]

I wonder if they used a scrub daddy to make Wilson in castaway

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Poor Floating Wilson

As if Jamie has gone out to get fish n chips. What he's really doing is logging onto Paddy Power and putting a bet on Arsenal winning tomorrow or the 13.15 at Sandown Park
He can come back and say "babe they've run out of chips", the dozy moo would still believe him

That actually happened to a chippy near me