Mrs Hinch #268 Think Ronnie prefers the plastic food to his mu.... directors cooking!

[watermelon sugar]

Good evening Tattle trolls thought I'd bless you all with a story because I'm bored & Hinch has had the day off.

Ron - the Teenage Years
It was a Thursday afternoon. Ronnie was at school. Jamie was in the garage with his resistance bands. It was his 15th year on his career break. He was bored shitless, resistance bands in one hand and his phone flicking through Only Fans & Willy Hill.
Soph was having a fag on the pergoala. It was run down with a load of tat. Her hair was going grey and still in a birds nest. Henry the 3rd was having a shit in the over grown sleepers.
Soph typed in 'Tattle.life' so she could read her old threads. They stopped when Mrs Hinch died a small death in 2021. The last thread number was Thread 2832.
Suddenly, Sophs iPhone 92 buzzed. It was the local B&M. She hadn't had a call from them in a while!
'Hello!? Yes it's me, Mrs Hinch. Are you asking me for a comeback? Because ill do it.'
'Oh hello Mrs Hinchliffe. Erm no we're not im afraid. I just wanted to let you know your Ronnie was outside our store kicking footies at the old folk and trying to sell packs of Superkings to toddlers.'
Soph looked at the time. It was 1.30pm. Shouldn't he be in school?
'Oh right okay... ill have a word.'
Soph hung up. 'JAAAAAYYYYMAAAAYY. Ronnies been bunking off school!'
The clock ticked and it eventually got to 3.45pm. Soph was anxiously smoking fags by the back door. Jamie was still getting his Inch away in the garage.
The front door flew open and Ronnie dived in. Soph ran through the door
'Ey! You little SHIT. Where the fuck have you been? Outside B&M at 1.30? Why weren't you at school?'
'Fuck you Mum! I'm sick of going to school! They all just show me pics of me when I was in the bath when I was like 8 months old playing with a lit up toy. They all tell me to suck a spaghetti hoop. And they always ask me what kind of pastry I'm having for tea!!'
'I'm not arsed Ronnie. Where are my fags? I was looking for my Superkings'
Ronnie scoffed and took off his blazer and lashed it on the floor. 'I'm going to play COD. I'll have turkey dinosaurs, waffles and beans for tea Mummaz.'
Soph sighed and popped a fag in her mouth.
It was teatime. Soph had made turkey dinosaurs. 'Ron darling! Time for tea my precious!'
Ron came stomping down the stairs. Face in his phone
'So Ronnie, how was school?' Asked Jamie, typing in a bet on his phone
'Bloody hell Jamie, he didn't go to school, he bunked off and terrorised the village of Maldon'
'God Mum! It's not a bloody village! And stop trying to take pictures of me eating!'
Henry the 3rd was growling under the table trying to get one of Ronnies turkey dinosaurs.
'Oh he's growling Ron!!! Let me make a montage!'
'I'M GOING TO MY ROOM.' Shouted Ronnie.
'Dont you want any dessert love? Ive made your favourite. Kinder Bueno in pastry!'
Ronnie ran up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door.
'I cant deal with this Jaymay. I'm going to my Mummaz for my After tea titty milk'
'OK.' Said Jamie. 'I'm going back to the garage to play on my Only Fans.. I mean resistance bands'
Henry the 3rd ran into the back garden and dropped some turkey dinosaur into the pond of 700 fish. Then he went to have his evening shit in the sleepers.

The end x

 

[LivingMyVestLife]

Rant alert!
Sorry everyone, this is a long one but I need to put this out there. Here is a very brief, concise history of women's rights the last 100 years.

1920s Women fight for the right to vote
1930s Women are called to war work
1940s Women are given access to free health care on the NHS
1950s Women fight for equal pay in professional careers
1960s The contraceptive pill gives women the right to choose
1970s A movement for equal opportunities, equal pay and against sexual discrimination in the workplace
1980s Women campaign for peace and many women begin entering politics for the first time
1990s EU passes human rights act for everyone, including women
2000s Unmarried women and lesbian couples allowed to adopt
2010 nearly half of all academics are now female

2020 ... Women aspire to be like Mrs Hinch: Be the perfect stay at home mum with a man, a baby and a dog. Make sure everything looks perfect, that your family is beautiful and everyone is always happy. Cleaning is an obsession and shopping is exciting. Make up, clothes, hair, cleaning products and household objects are the most important things in their lives. Keep up with the Hinch's and you will be happy. Write a book about cleaning and your perfect Stepford life.
Push women back 70 years...

Why is nobody questioning this?? We fought so hard and so long to be more than just a wife, more than just a cleaner, more than just a mum, more than just a cook. Why is this woman on a pedestal?? I understand that with rights comes the right to choose but honestly, is this what we choose?

I am praying you all agree with me here as I find this the most frustrating thing about her and her sheeple.

Probably a bit deep for Sunday afternoon but I feel like I finally worded why she makes me so angry all the time.

 

[shadyessex33]

Is that a framed picture of the cover of her first shitrag up on the wall? Fuck me, she may as well just get wallpaper printed with her face all over it

Omg it is! she is so vain! My husband is a published author, now on his 5th book, and we don’t have this shit up on our walls and yes Hinch, he has been at no.1 too.

 

[Han56789]

Anyone else think the scrub daddy prints looked like shit or is it just me

 

[Princesstinkerbell]

I've been over on the SS tattle thread today, just to read what people were saying about her. And some of the comments made me wonder....do you think hinch goes on SS's thread and posts comments asking people if they prefer SS or her?and whether she would go on and post about how amazing she is....im only wondering this because some of the comments were saying what an amazing mam hinch is compared to SS and how they loved her letting Ron do a pic and how SS would never do that etc....which just doesnt seem to be something people would actually say?x

 

[shadyessex33]

Sorry, Mashed Potato baby will always win Tattle-2020 for me

Aw that was a good day! Ronald’s first birthday.
Day old crisps and sandwiches
The possessed Peter Rabbit head cake
Ron in a £2 eBay waistcoat getting static and a newborn babygrow
Hinch in a £200 wedding dress
Onslow in his finest tracksuit
Then to top it all off the random live with them both off their tits, with her shaking like a shitting dog

memories

 

[Moobiemoo]

She seems to be what I think is a very controlled parent around what she wants and needs. She seems to be doing enough to make some content out of it but he’s not for one minute her ‘whole world’ she very much likes time to herself Ron free and that seems to be a lot more fun to her. This is fine if that’s her choice of how to parent but not what she is depicting to her followers. Despite her protests that she’s normal she does have a very boring clinical type environment at home where it is very controlled. I think she’s going with the concept of parenting rather than the reality and hoping he will grow into a perfect little human because that’s what kids do, and has not cottoned on to the nurturing part yet. Jamie is clearly doing the hard graft in terms of fun and engagement with Ron and she’s far more in love with the idea of doing perfect photo worthy memory things than she is actually just doing every day normal things with him. I’ve never seen him dirty, never seen him rolling in leaves or grass outside, never seen him doing anything creative by himself. He has a very small area to play with the same minimal toys in it and a very baby centric bedroom with little toys and mostly ornaments. He gets what he needs from her in terms of basic parenting needs but she’s missing out on the whole picture of growing him into a little human. You raise your kids to grow into and cope with the next stage of their life, you don’t try to keep them a baby or toddler. You raise them with the intention to teach them how to be independent, creative and curious, from day 1 of feeding solids you are not doing it to take cute photos of them you are feeding them to keep them alive and every day teach them how to feed themselves, or play with food and learn. I remember when my daughter first learnt to scoop a yoghurt out of a bowl, I was so happy for her - I had spent ages showing her and letting her splash around in it with a spoon and hands and proud she was learning an independent skill. She had fun making a mess and learnt something along the way. Parenting is letting go of what you want and doing what your kid needs. Her house should be noisy, colourful and messy, that’s what Ron needs. He should be using crayons and pencils and tuning his fine motor skills for school now. Not keeping him a baby and waiting till he’s 5!

 

[Sukia]

Rant alert!
Sorry everyone, this is a long one but I need to put this out there. Here is a very brief, concise history of women's rights the last 100 years.

1920s Women fight for the right to vote
1930s Women are called to war work
1940s Women are given access to free health care on the NHS
1950s Women fight for equal pay in professional careers
1960s The contraceptive pill gives women the right to choose
1970s A movement for equal opportunities, equal pay and against sexual discrimination in the workplace
1980s Women campaign for peace and many women begin entering politics for the first time
1990s EU passes human rights act for everyone, including women
2000s Unmarried women and lesbian couples allowed to adopt
2010 nearly half of all academics are now female

2020 ... Women aspire to be like Mrs Hinch: Be the perfect stay at home mum with a man, a baby and a dog. Make sure everything looks perfect, that your family is beautiful and everyone is always happy. Cleaning is an obsession and shopping is exciting. Make up, clothes, hair, cleaning products and household objects are the most important things in their lives. Keep up with the Hinch's and you will be happy. Write a book about cleaning and your perfect Stepford life.
Push women back 70 years...

Why is nobody questioning this?? We fought so hard and so long to be more than just a wife, more than just a cleaner, more than just a mum, more than just a cook. Why is this woman on a pedestal?? I understand that with rights comes the right to choose but honestly, is this what we choose?

I am praying you all agree with me here as I find this the most frustrating thing about her and her sheeple.

Probably a bit deep for Sunday afternoon but I feel like I finally worded why she makes me so angry all the time.

Hi, newbie lurker here

Here is my point of view, as someone who genuinely for 5 minutes considered mrs. Hinch aspirational

I am a 30 yr old woman, a professional, a frontline healthcare worker. Single, no children. For a brief second there I fantisized about having my life more similar to hers. A relationship, a healthy cute baby, both parents working from home (working is a lax term here), their house visually appealing (I don't have a particularly sophisticated taste lol).

Far far away from the pandemic, PPE, contact scares, critically ill, deaths, loneliness, isolation, sleep deprivation, financial troubles.

Until I sat one day and went through the content a little more mindfully and saw an immature opportunistic saleswoman making a fair dent in the planet pollution and vulnerable people's wallets and confidence.

Vile

 

[The Slayer]

Do you know what, if im completely honest with myself I probably am a teeny bit jealous of her, not of her life - I wouldn't trade lives with her for anything. She has a meaningless, vacuous life. But I am jealous that she can earn £24k in 10 minutes and people slog away all year for less than that. She has access to opportunities and life experiences most people could only dream of (not that she does anything or goes anywhere)

Today I have supported a suicidal teenagar with psychosis, a young girl who is being sexually abused by her Dad and a woman who is fleeing horrific violence from her partner. Will I get paid £24k for todays work? Like fuck I will.

I get that I chose the career im in and I love it, I wouldn't do anything else. But when people as undeserving as her are earning the money she is earning. It does get to you.

Maybe its not jealousy maybe its injustice, I dont know. But I can think of a million people more deserving than her.

Sorry for the rambling post, some days her bullshit really gets to me

 

[shadyessex33]

I think I’m going to have to email Tesco asking if she works with them and if she does or is going to in the near future, maybe they need to have a word with her about going shopping as a little crew during lockdown and then proceeding to purchase non essentials. Tesco are usually good at emailing back.

TATTLERS! UNITE!

 

[mgh727]

Of course I hate and would never judge anyone’s parenting we all as humans breathe that sigh when the kids are in bed and it’s adult time . I wonder if she does or says it to be relatable ? But that’s 3 times this week the night has started as her son was in bed . And the toasting marshmallows decorating cookies having a chippy in my views is family time . Has she said the night starts now with an adult Netflix show (no dirty ) that sounded rude sorry , or a bottle of wine which i feel are adult relaxing times which we all need , just a bit shit the best parts of the day is when her and her first born are settled for the night.

I’d honestly find this mummy daddy couple time in the evening a lot more relatable if they were completely apart during the day if Jamie was working and spent 40 hours a week out the home, but they’re at home 24/7 together, I think the only time they spend apart is when they shit and even then she sits on the floor outside the bog waiting for Jamie! Im not saying they never deserve to have a “date night” but it’s every evening they’re almost gagging to spend time away from Ronnie, together as a couple! It really does come across that they resent him for crashing their adult lifestyle and freedom at times!

 

[mammaof3]

Soz forgot the cake pic - have a slice x


The icing is supposed to be black (she wanted that) but came out dark grey for God's sake.

 

[shadyessex33]

Explain why she went through the stage of using astonish cup cleaner all the time. Not seen that for a while Soph, why not crack it out?

When she had the cup cleaner next to the coffee mate both in the exact same jars! I really thought natural selection would have taken her by now

 

[shadyessex33]

The dog bowl thing has annoyed me for someone who supposedly cleans all the time, that dog bowl should be clean! Dirty sket.

She’s disgusting. Total surface cleaner. Insta was never about cleaning for her. It was a way to become famous (despite her obviously having crippling anxiety ) she saw other people were getting well known for the cleaning and ran with it. She doesn’t want to clean, and never has. Now she’s stuck with it because she’s so shit at everything else she turns her hand to

 

[Scragbags]

I wonder if they used a scrub daddy to make Wilson in castaway

 

[mgh727]

Omg it is! she is so vain! My husband is a published author, now on his 5th book, and we don’t have this shit up on our walls and yes Hinch, he has been at no.1 too.

Can we please get your husband to review her book, seeing as he’s probably got a grasp on the English language, proper grammar and punctuation and I’m assuming his books have actual substance and aren’t 200 pages of self pity and strumming his metaphorical clit over a sponge

 

[shadyessex33]

WE ARE IN NATIONAL LOCK DOWN AND BEING ASKED TO GO SHOPPING INDIVIDUALLY IF POSSIBLE!!! THIS CUNT MAKES IT A FAMILY AFFAIR!


Sorry for the caps, but she never fucking learns. She is such a stupid cunt

 

[Moobiemoo]

Honestly she is so boring lately I don’t even know what anyone would write as a recap

Thursday
Boring content

Friday
Boring content

Saturday
Boring content

 

[mgh727]

I bet Dadooronron spent the night with Ma B and Hinch and Inch are going there for Sunday dinner. Can you imagine the conversation round the table? What have you been up to Inch? What about you Sophie darling? This is a relationship heading to implode. They have nothing to talk about, to interact. Just the amount they made out of the last IG frame

I don’t understand how their relationship functions, I love my husband, but he’s got a week off work now and I’m already pulling my hair out, especially with lockdown we can’t even see anyone else, I don’t know how I’d cope if he’d been at home for 18 months straight

They force date nights, sexual innuendos and banter, they seem to constantly have to validate their relationship with mushy posts and comments, they do couples coaching cards which as newly weds you shouldn’t even need to consider buying, they seem to seek constant validation from strangers about them being the perfect couple which they’re far from but for a pair that have been together for 7 years+ they act like strangers at times, I think it’s good for every relationship to get some separation but they’d been married 9 months when Ronnie came along and they’ve been glued together ever since, it isn’t healthy and if they’re still married in 5 years I’ll be shocked, Jamie really needs to go back to work imo, Hinch needs to gain some independence and they need to learn to be a real functioning couple again, not a babysitters club!

I think she’s lost the way with her page, she doesn’t clean and when she does it’s a piss poor attempt.
her family mummyblogger approach is pitiful and so out of touch.
She’s lost her touch, the hinch effect is dead and it shows, think back to when she was taking off, anything she flogged would be sold out, websites crashed and follower counts raised in minutes.... no longer happening, time to give it up and move back to lil old Soph... I think her management will reinvent her for the new year in one final push.

She’s tried mummy blogger like Sam Faiers and Giovanna Fletcher and that’s failed massively.
She’s tried cooking guru for nippers like Joe Wickes and that’s failed.
She’s tried crafts and fun stuff like Stace and that’s failed massively!
She’s tried to become young and hip again by clinging to Love Islanders and the Geordie Shore lot and they’ve not taken her scrambled beg on toast so that again failed.
She’s also tried the mental health advocacy and shopping guru angle like Zoella and that’s also failed!
I’ve now noticed she’s trying to push the boss babe mum angle like Louise Pentland cos she’s been getting Ronnie involved in her laptop/work a lot recently and this is going to fail because LP has always been open about money, how you earn, finances etc and her honesty and openness is why she’s half the blogger she is today! Hinch doesn’t know the meaning of honesty especially when it comes to declaring ads and money so we’ve already failed there!
She was a cleaner, it worked and if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, but she’s tried to shove her fingers into every Instagram pie going and it’s failed spectacularly Gleam need to reinvent her as Mrs Hinch and nothing else!

 

[Puddingchops]

Long time lurker here. Never posted before but needed to get this off my chest. I was pregnant at the same time she was and used to love watching her stories and cleaning tips and even got sucked into the whole 'activity journal' scam. I think I must've been in a major nesting phase! Then when I had my daughter I started to realise what an unobtainable lifestyle she portrays to other women. Its frankly dangerous. She doesn't work, her husband doesn't work and she has unlimited resources and support to help her. New mums don't have time to disappear upstairs to roll baby grows and their husbands t-shirts into drawer organiser's, or arrange cushions on the bed. Most don't even have time to have a shower and a cuppa. I think she causes people more anxiety than she realises by setting impossible standards of how your house should look all the time. I'd have more respect for her if she addressed how lucky she is to have 24/7 help and how she knows not everyone has that. Also, get poor Ron a puddle suit and get him splashing about outside!