Mrs Hinch #237 Accepting free pastry like a greedy pig while using it as a tattle dig

[Fluffyducks]

If she had always intended to drop her donation off today, you'd have thought she’d have had it written down on her Hinch list that she showed us earlier, would you not?!

 

[IrishCatlady]

Oh my good god, can you imagine the absolute SCENES in the Hinch house over the last few hours?

Pastry arrives in the morning and soph is wetter than an otters pocket that months of blatantly looking for a collab with JusRoll may finally be coming to fruition.

Fizzing with excitement she tells Jaymeh to stick Ronseal behind the sofa because she simply can't wait any longer to take numerous stories of her newly acquired beg. With Ron suitably confined to his sofa prison, she starts binning all of her other food and manically cleaning the fridge in preparation for all of her new pastry to take centre stage. Jaymeh is delighted, knowing it will be a talc neck kind of evening as nothing gets Soph more excited than getting a bunch of free tit she doesn't need or deserve. After much deliberation and careful consideration, she finally picks a shelf for the pastry. She spends an hour or so gazing at the open fridge, wasting electricity and not giving a duck, with a lump in her throat unable to take it all in. How did lil ol' me from the village get here?!

Ronseal is briefly freed from the prison couch for his 10th nap of the day. Soph and Jaymeh pop out to the pub garden for a fag and a scroll through tattle.

It quickly becomes apparant that all is not well. The pastry trolls have taken their trolling to a new level and are not happy. Suddenly, her DMs start popping. Messages are coming in thick and fast telling her what a tone deaf, greedy and selfish boot she is for accepting and gloating about free food when so many people can't feed themselves due to the global pandemic. Soph cries to Jaymeh - why can't people just be kond?!?! She lights up another fag, clawing her neck and screaming at Jaymeh to fix it for her. Jaymeh rushes through to the kitchen and reappears with a carved ice cream for soph about what a boss babe she is. She's hysterical now and throws the ice cream at Hen who is waiting for his pre dinner snack. Jaymeh realises this isn't going to be fixed with ice cream so hatches a cunning plan.

She posts the Instagram story asking where she can donate food. Jaymeh cautions her that people might see through the bullshit Saint act and work out she's never donated to a food bank in her life. Soph laughs and reminds Jaymeh her barmy army carved an image of their second born out of mashed potato's. They're not calling her out.

Sadly for the Hinch's, they do get called out. Its time to pull out the big guns. This is a code red situation. Soph chucks some raw pastry at Ron and Hen telling them to make their own tea but warning them they better film it for the gram. With that, Soph and Jaymeh grab some tins from the cupboard, shove them in a bag for life and hot tail it to the audi they never bought. Speeding through the village of Maldon, Jaymeh frantically looks for a foodbank. Sophs wailing out the car window clawing her neck and screaming at Jaymeh THIS NEEDS TO LOOK AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE FOR THE GRAM.

Suddenly, they see a church. Jaymeh skids to a halt and Soph gets ready to film. They're saved. Soph jumps out the car, lobs an Iceland bag at the front steps and they breathe a heavy sigh of relief. Sophs reputation has been saved, the trolls have been defeated once more and best of all - she still has a fridge of gifted pastry.

You should offer your great literary services as her next ghost writer, bloody brilliant

 

[Sunshine44]

Yeah course your always go to your local food bank - you didn’t even know it had been open in the last 6 months - the problem is when you lie you always trip yourself up !! She looked mega panicked-clearly read the comments and dashed out - she’s never normally out at this time of night

 

[I_love_itttt]

Such a caring sweet Saint. Always donating.... Like the baby gate she donated to the skip.

 

[LoopyLu]

Where was Ron in all this drama? They were clearly both in the car...

Ma-Barkingmad around again? ''Don't worry princess, you go and do your cute ''regular'' donations, I'll watch handsnums.

 

[Charlotte2404]

When will the “hinchers” see her true colours

 

[Mrsmac18]

Hiya SOPH here's how a food bank works... When you're in a supermarket there are trollies (not pollies) placed close to the entrance where the public can donate non perishable goods, toiletries such as razors, sanitary towels, deodorant and also, and you'll luvvv thisss.. Cleaning products. These trollies are then bagged and collected by volunteers (nice people who work for ZERO pay) the items are then taken to a base unit and sorted into a weekly bag for those in need. These bags are split according to how many adults and children are in a particular household. At special times of the year, say Christmas, the supermarkets and often small retailers donate selection boxes, boxes of biscuits, nice wee smelly sets so that everyone is guaranteed a gift.
Food banks are operational all year HTH

 

[Saffron08]

If she does it regularly why is she only now putting it on Facebook?? Lies. Of she often donated shed know it was closed and also know you can donate elsewhere.

 

[Hello2020]

You need to write a book! Seriously - I will buy it!

Haha, thank you!! I can't take all the credit though, our Sophs antics this evening have been nothing short of inspiring

 

[LiverbirdLisa]

I did a charitable act this morning but didn't film myself or put it on social media. Does it still count if I don't tell people? Will I still go to heaven? Have I earnt myself some pastry? Will my parents still be proud of me?

That depends.

Do you really think you DESERVE pastry?

 

[Wee blether]

I’m driving myself mad trying to find this out

First name pretty

 

[Eat more cake]

I actually don't care how many passive aggressive digs she does to us. If the stormtroopers come here let them. She is on a self destruct and needs no help from us to look stupid anyway.

 

[AC55]

I’ve got visions of her flying through the streets of Maldon in her £80,000 car. Desperately looking for somewhere to dump a couple of bags to make her look charitable. Phone on charge to make sure she has enough juice to video her Mother Theresa aid work. She’ll be having a day off tomorrow after all this

@shadyessex33 you've made me feel so much better now I'm laughing again! Xxx

 

[Hanni-pops77]

I lost my job today Due to covid, I’m entitled to no help because my partner works even though he doesn’t earn very much, bills to pay, rent to pay, yet here she is with all her gifted shite after her numerous trips round the country... absolute leech of a woman. She has no shame.

I’m sorry to hear about you loosing your job! It’s proper tit isn’t it.
I lost 10 hours off my 30 working in a pub! There’s going to be so many people loosing their job and it’s sickening the way she parades herself with no regards!
best of luck to you Xx

 

[Hello2020]

You should offer your great literary services as her next ghost writer, bloody brilliant

I shall demand my payment in pastry

 

[Comewhinewithme]

Oh my good god, can you imagine the absolute SCENES in the Hinch house over the last few hours?

Pastry arrives in the morning and soph is wetter than an otters pocket that months of blatantly looking for a collab with JusRoll may finally be coming to fruition.

Fizzing with excitement she tells Jaymeh to stick Ronseal behind the sofa because she simply can't wait any longer to take numerous stories of her newly acquired beg. With Ron suitably confined to his sofa prison, she starts binning all of her other food and manically cleaning the fridge in preparation for all of her new pastry to take centre stage. Jaymeh is delighted, knowing it will be a talc neck kind of evening as nothing gets Soph more excited than getting a bunch of free tit she doesn't need or deserve. After much deliberation and careful consideration, she finally picks a shelf for the pastry. She spends an hour or so gazing at the open fridge, wasting electricity and not giving a duck, with a lump in her throat unable to take it all in. How did lil ol' me from the village get here?!

Ronseal is briefly freed from the prison couch for his 10th nap of the day. Soph and Jaymeh pop out to the pub garden for a fag and a scroll through tattle.

It quickly becomes apparant that all is not well. The pastry trolls have taken their trolling to a new level and are not happy. Suddenly, her DMs start popping. Messages are coming in thick and fast telling her what a tone deaf, greedy and selfish boot she is for accepting and gloating about free food when so many people can't feed themselves due to the global pandemic. Soph cries to Jaymeh - why can't people just be kond?!?! She lights up another fag, clawing her neck and screaming at Jaymeh to fix it for her. Jaymeh rushes through to the kitchen and reappears with a carved ice cream for soph about what a boss babe she is. She's hysterical now and throws the ice cream at Hen who is waiting for his pre dinner snack. Jaymeh realises this isn't going to be fixed with ice cream so hatches a cunning plan.

She posts the Instagram story asking where she can donate food. Jaymeh cautions her that people might see through the bullshit Saint act and work out she's never donated to a food bank in her life. Soph laughs and reminds Jaymeh her barmy army carved an image of their second born out of mashed potato's. They're not calling her out.

Sadly for the Hinch's, they do get called out. Its time to pull out the big guns. This is a code red situation. Soph chucks some raw pastry at Ron and Hen telling them to make their own tea but warning them they better film it for the gram. With that, Soph and Jaymeh grab some tins from the cupboard, shove them in a bag for life and hot tail it to the audi they never bought. Speeding through the village of Maldon, Jaymeh frantically looks for a foodbank. Sophs wailing out the car window clawing her neck and screaming at Jaymeh THIS NEEDS TO LOOK AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE FOR THE GRAM.

Suddenly, they see a church. Jaymeh skids to a halt and Soph gets ready to film. They're saved. Soph jumps out the car, lobs an Iceland bag at the front steps and they breathe a heavy sigh of relief. Sophs reputation has been saved, the trolls have been defeated once more and best of all - she still has a fridge of gifted pastry.

my kids are fuming I wont tell them what is so funny! Please write a book!

 

[Peonyhushxo]

I do wonder what she’d do if tattle went silent....

 

[Comewhinewithme]

Food banks only accept dry non perishable goods. I can’t see a homeless person banging out a turmeric and egg puff from their doorway with no oven.
you proper fucked up this time hinch

I cant

 

[Thedutchess]

She’s never made a donation in her life before...hence why she doesn’t know procedures or even where they are. “I don’t normally share” yeah love that’s because this is the first time... and you’re only doing so after about a million people have suggested it to you. catch on love.

 

[sarja81]

Opened nappies when she has new packs stocked up in the garage!
Do the less fortunate not deserve a pack?
Would you use an open nappy on Ronnie soph?

The nappies won’t be used due to health and safety. They have to be in a sealed pack!