Mother in law experiences #3

[WilmaHun]

How would you feel about MiL and FiL staying in your house when neither of you were there?

Absolute no from me. My MiL is so nosey she'd be going through everything including my knicker drawer I reckon We've asked her to go let the dog out on occasion and I caught her on my puppycam going upstairs (our toilet and bathroom is down so she had no reason to go up!) and a parcel has arrived when she was there which she opened and put away for me!!

 

[cococookie]

I’ve read so many stories about nosey in-laws. I’m too petty though, I would be tempted leave a massive dildo in my knicker drawer or a note saying “looking for something?” they would soon stop rifling through drawers!

 

[uglybettybetty]

I found my MIL on Twitter and she shares massively racist tweets, I’ve shown my partner and he was furious, especially awkward because my family is black and Muslim so just makes me feel super awkward and unwanted. I’ve come to a conclusion that my mil is a bigot and I don’t want to associate with her

My partner says it’s because she associates herself with racist people and that she isn’t really racist but I call bullshit, those are her views she’s sharing

 

[SophSpinsSillyStories]

I found my MIL on Twitter and she shares massively racist tweets, I’ve shown my partner and he was furious, especially awkward because my family is black and Muslim so just makes me feel super awkward and unwanted. I’ve come to a conclusion that my mil is a bigot and I don’t want to associate with her

My partner says it’s because she associates herself with racist people and that she isn’t really racist but I call bullshit, those are her views she’s sharing

Wow!! There’s absolutely NO excuse for this! Who in their right mind shares that kind of stuff, particularly when their daughter in law is a POC?!! You’d think she’d have more empathy!

 

[iknowsomethingudont]

Cant stick mine ,shes an alcoholic and a compulsive liar.Partner wont say a bad word about her even though shes been vile to us all including our kids.I now avoid at all costs but when forced to see her or bump into her she acts like were best mates and shes never done any wrong.

 

[uglybettybetty]

Wow!! There’s absolutely NO excuse for this! Who in their right mind shares that kind of stuff, particularly when their daughter in law is a POC?!! You’d think she’d have more empathy!

I know! What made it worse is that she actually followed me on there! It’s like she wanted me to see all her horrible racist, homophobic opinions! Why else follow me? My partner is going to speak to her when he sees her at the weekend as she’s just come back from Spain, and I’m just hoping my partner doesn’t brush over it. But we can’t change her opinions so I’d just rather not see her or talk to her

 

[Upintheair83]

I know! What made it worse is that she actually followed me on there! It’s like she wanted me to see all her horrible racist, homophobic opinions! Why else follow me? My partner is going to speak to her when he sees her at the weekend as she’s just come back from Spain, and I’m just hoping my partner doesn’t brush over it. But we can’t change her opinions so I’d just rather not see her or talk to her

I'm sorry but that's just disgusting. I can't believe she followed you knowing she so publicly airs and holds those views. She should be ashamed of herself. You are better off away from people like that. Small minded, racist idiot, I really hope your partner tells her how disgusting she is!

 

[Shinythings]

Well it's no secret I can't stand my in laws. My MIL I'd bad enough but DIL can sometimes be a massive dick. OH sister has had a baby a few months back. Her parents come round and her Dad always makes comments about her post partum body. Does he not remember his own wife's pregnancies? The bloke is an absolutely wet wipe. Also she is a size 6 normally and when full term looked like she had a large lunch and weighed 8st at full term. So that made me feel like a bleeping whale when he made that comment.

We haven't spent Christmas with his side of the family for a few years so we've agreed this year we would for the week as they live up North. The thought makes me just want to spend the week faking the shits so I don't have to spend time with them.

It baffles me how OH is related to them. The only one I actually like is his sister's husband!

 

[iknowsomethingudont]

Well it's no secret I can't stand my in laws. My MIL I'd bad enough but DIL can sometimes be a massive dick. OH sister has had a baby a few months back. Her parents come round and her Dad always makes comments about her post partum body. Does he not remember his own wife's pregnancies? The bloke is an absolutely wet wipe. Also she is a size 6 normally and when full term looked like she had a large lunch and weighed 8st at full term. So that made me feel like a bleeping whale when he made that comment.

We haven't spent Christmas with his side of the family for a few years so we've agreed this year we would for the week as they live up North. The thought makes me just want to spend the week faking the shits so I don't have to spend time with them.

It baffles me how OH is related to them. The only one I actually like is his sister's husband!

Oh god a week is so long ! Can you not convince OH to shorten it ?

 

[Shinythings]

Oh god a week is so long ! Can you not convince OH to shorten it ?

We've reduced to 3 days, thankfully. Even he can't do a week with them!

 

[Glitz]

Oh wow I am so happy to have found this thread. I have been stewing about this for two months.

I had a baby at the end of May and father's day was a week or two after. I had a mug made up with a picture of my partner and baby and a card with lots of photos of us all. Felt pretty pleased with myself.
The day rolls around, my MIL produces her gift for my partner - a huge canvas with a print of a picture of him with baby (that I had sent her!!) and she had also taken it upon herself to buy a "worlds best dad" trophy and a card signed on behalf of my daughter!!!

My mother has constantly offered to come over and do housework for us so we have time to bond with baby. MIL offered to come and sit with my newborn so I can get the hoovering done. Why are they such a different breed?!?!

I found my MIL on Twitter and she shares massively racist tweets, I’ve shown my partner and he was furious, especially awkward because my family is black and Muslim so just makes me feel super awkward and unwanted. I’ve come to a conclusion that my mil is a bigot and I don’t want to associate with her

My partner says it’s because she associates herself with racist people and that she isn’t really racist but I call bullshit, those are her views she’s sharing

WTF that is unreal. If she was truly not racist, she would not associate with racist people.

 

[SLouiseC]

Absolute no from me. My MiL is so nosey she'd be going through everything including my knicker drawer I reckon We've asked her to go let the dog out on occasion and I caught her on my puppycam going upstairs (our toilet and bathroom is down so she had no reason to go up!) and a parcel has arrived when she was there which she opened and put away for me!!

i dont really know mine, we live in ireland she lives in Bangladesh

 

[Smirkymirky]

i dont really know mine, we live in ireland she lives in Bangladesh

Well this sounds ideal!!!

 

[uglybettybetty]

Update: my partner had a huge row with the mil and he was actually really great because he didn’t hold back and told her that her views are wrong! She is very pig headed and instead of actually realising the error in her ways, she said she will not change her opinions and that we should stay out of it. She then proceeded to unfollow and block me on Twitter. So it kind of showed me that she probably did this on purpose, why else follow me if you know I’ll see your racist tweets? She’s disgusting! I actually feel glad that she blocked me and I hope she doesn’t talk to us again

Oh wow I am so happy to have found this thread. I have been stewing about this for two months.

I had a baby at the end of May and father's day was a week or two after. I had a mug made up with a picture of my partner and baby and a card with lots of photos of us all. Felt pretty pleased with myself.
The day rolls around, my MIL produces her gift for my partner - a huge canvas with a print of a picture of him with baby (that I had sent her!!) and she had also taken it upon herself to buy a "worlds best dad" trophy and a card signed on behalf of my daughter!!!

My mother has constantly offered to come over and do housework for us so we have time to bond with baby. MIL offered to come and sit with my newborn so I can get the hoovering done. Why are they such a different breed?!?!


WTF that is unreal. If she was truly not racist, she would not associate with racist people.

Tbh I think my partner was a bit in denial and at first he kept saying how his mum isn’t racist etc etc and that it’s just because of who she associates herself with but I think that’s bull! She’s a near 50 year old woman, I’m pretty sure she’s aware of her hateful tweets and knows what she’s doing

 

[FlyingGirl4]

Oh wow I am so happy to have found this thread. I have been stewing about this for two months.

I had a baby at the end of May and father's day was a week or two after. I had a mug made up with a picture of my partner and baby and a card with lots of photos of us all. Felt pretty pleased with myself.
The day rolls around, my MIL produces her gift for my partner - a huge canvas with a print of a picture of him with baby (that I had sent her!!) and she had also taken it upon herself to buy a "worlds best dad" trophy and a card signed on behalf of my daughter!!!

My mother has constantly offered to come over and do housework for us so we have time to bond with baby. MIL offered to come and sit with my newborn so I can get the hoovering done. Why are they such a different breed?!?!

I empathise with you on so many levels… they are a strange breed!! X

 

[Messychaotic - one word]

I work with a woman who's about to get a new daughter-in-law (her son is about to propose to her and there aren't any concerns she'll decline). She's a nice enough lady at work, but I imagine she's going to be hard work as a mother-in-law.

She's already started talking about what sort of wedding they'll be having, dictating what sort of house and where they'll be buying, and how many grandchildren she is expecting. It's very strange behaviour ... I hope for their sakes they move far, far away!

 

[iknowsomethingudont]

I work with a woman who's about to get a new daughter-in-law (her son is about to propose to her and there aren't any concerns she'll decline). She's a nice enough lady at work, but I imagine she's going to be hard work as a mother-in-law.

She's already started talking about what sort of wedding they'll be having, dictating what sort of house and where they'll be buying, and how many grandchildren she is expecting. It's very strange behaviour ... I hope for their sakes they move far, far away!

Oh lord the poor souls!

So when i fell pregnant with my 2nd baby ,different dad to eldest id actually only known him three months and it was a big shock.Id met his mother twice.
Anyway i had a really traumatic first birth to the point i didnt think id have any more kids and i was having panic attacks during my pregnancy .Well partners mother announces she will be coming to the hospital when i go into labour and wants to be there when i give birth .A woman ive met twice and honestly have no real relationship with dictating to me a 30 something woman that she will be in my presence while im pushing my baby out .Fuuuuccckkk offfff! I said to partner he had to tell her it wouldnt be happening and she responded that she would wait outside the room in the corridor instead til baby was born and then come in .
Errrm also no! My body ,my decision ! Honestly the entitlement .Anyway soon after covid hit and we went into lockdown.Silver linings and all that !

 

[rasberry spoons]

Okay, I’ve came to the conclusion I’m the one in the wrong. I absolutely loathe my sister in law, we used to really bond but over the years she has told family members she is jealous of the life me and her brother live. She has gossiped about me so many times and it’s very blatant her and her mum do it constantly(I don’t even mind this because I know me and my mum slag everyone off at some point)call me crazy but I’m starting to even think she has a weird crush on her brother! however I cannot even bring myself to ask her how she is when she comes to visit now. I can’t do the fake game and I’m now the one that looks in the wrong as she is nice as pie and I just try and not engage with her. It’s starting to really make me feel uncomfortable in my home and I’m showing this behaviour to our children.
Is it me? Am I the drama? Am I the villain? (If you know, you know)

 

[Mardymermaid]

Okay, I’ve came to the conclusion I’m the one in the wrong. I absolutely loathe my sister in law, we used to really bond but over the years she has told family members she is jealous of the life me and her brother live. She has gossiped about me so many times and it’s very blatant her and her mum do it constantly(I don’t even mind this because I know me and my mum slag everyone off at some point)call me crazy but I’m starting to even think she has a weird crush on her brother! however I cannot even bring myself to ask her how she is when she comes to visit now. I can’t do the fake game and I’m now the one that looks in the wrong as she is nice as pie and I just try and not engage with her. It’s starting to really make me feel uncomfortable in my home and I’m showing this behaviour to our children.
Is it me? Am I the drama? Am I the villain? (If you know, you know)

Incredibly similar to my sister in law but she is even nastier than your description if we go to mil and she's there I dont acknowledge her now. I don't think you're the villain you owe her nothing.

 

[rasberry spoons]

Incredibly similar to my sister in law but she is even nastier than your description if we go to mil and she's there I dont acknowledge her now. I don't think you're the villain you owe her nothing.

How does your partner feel about this? Hubby gets where I’m coming from but doesn’t think she’s coming from a bad place blah blah. They’re the only thing we argue about and I just feel so alone when I’m going to his family’s events, I feel guilty and I just don’t know what to do to resolve it.