I used to work with someone who had a similar story, his wife took all the money and left him in debt with a child to look afterThis is such an interesting thread!
I live with my OH in a house we rent from his family, he at the moment earns more than me as I'm a student.
We just have separate accounts, he pays the bills for the house. I buy all the food shopping and we give each other money for things as needed, I'll obviously contribute more once working full time. We both pay for our own cars etc. I definitely wouldn't want him questioning why Amazon packages come so often.
I'll never have all my money in a joint account, my mum got my dad to take out a loan when we were young then took all the money and shacked up with another man. The times after that regarding money were some of the most traumatic of my life.
Interestingly tho my friend is very traditional in that she doesn't believe she needs to work full time and that her partner should pay her keep, they don't have kids. She's always complaining how little he earns etc yet she's not willing to work more. Blows my mind.
It definitely left a mark on me, my dad died four years later with 30k debt, luckily it was protected so written off. I then got in debt trying to survive at 18 with a house to run etc. I'm turning it round now tho I managed to pay off 10k in debt last year with 5k to go.I used to work with someone who had a similar story, his wife took all the money and left him in debt with a child to look afterI'm so sorry for what you had to go through. I definitely have trust issues regarding certain things, such as money, due to my childhood. I'm lucky my husband understands but then on the other hand he also knows my hand isn't in his pocket so he's free to do what he wants with what he has left after bills.
Regarding your friend, that's not ok! How does her husband think about the situation? Is he happy with it?
This is something I wondered about...if your OH isnt very good with money would you be prepared have a joint account for bills or just keep it separate?My boyfriend and me live with our own parents as neither of us can afford a mortgage or rent someplace decent. We also both work even though we're both on furlough and hoping we will have jobs to go back to when all this is over.
I try to save as much as I can but my boyfriend is quite reckless and just spends as soon as he gets paid. He doesn't think past the short term, and never saves. Or when he does he blows it on football or a bigger TV or expensive clothes.
This tells me a lot about his priorities and I don't want him feeding off me should we ever move in together because I would be doing all the working and he would be doing all the spending.
Definitely separate! I have a feeling we'll be separating soon anyway.This is something I wondered about...if your OH isnt very good with money would you be prepared have a joint account for bills or just keep it separate?
I work with 2 guys who are from the same country, one gets £20 pocket money a week because he used to have a gambling habit .The other guy in his late 50’s doesn’t even know how much he gets paid monthly neither does he get pocket money.My friend was like your MIL with her husband, he was just given a £5.00 per week for sweets and that was it. Admittedly when you have kids etc and a house they have to take priority money wise, not personal spends. But a £5 er?,this was one of the reasons he ran off after 20 years.
Yeah i find that a little bit strange tbh. I wouldnt know why they wouldnt tell their income. If it happened to me then i would just think he was an attention seeker, and its all abit pointless. I mean i wouldnt give a shit what they earn, but the secrecy would bother me, and then i would become paranoid and suspicious. But surely, in a relationship in order to make plans and plan for the future people must tell each other their incomes. I just find it strange.I was thinking about this thread earlier and I commented a few pages back but I remembered that when I was with my ex for 6 and a half years in that whole time he would never tell me what he earnedeven though I had 2 new jobs and a pay rise in that time and always told him what my salary was. I did know what his was as he left his payslip on the coffee table one day and I picked it up while tidying and saw. It never really bothered me that he didn’t tell me but looking back now I find it actually really bizarre!
Yep I agree now looking back, it was my first serious relationship and I guess now I just didn’t really question it. We lived together after we’d been dating a while but it was in the property he owned, his mortgage payments were quite low and I would give him half each month. And then we split everything else or paid ourselves for what we ate/used etc. We did briefly look at buying a house together but it went no further than looking around a few show homes so perhaps as that point he would have told me, I guess he would have had to otherwise how would we have known what we could afford? I can’t remember if I ever asked him but I do remember having a sense of it was something he wouldn’t discuss. Really strange, financially we were very separate and independent but now I’m with my husband and we have a mortgage together it just wouldn’t work for us not to discuss salaries.Yeah i find that a little bit strange tbh. I wouldnt know why they wouldnt tell their income. If it happened to me then i would just think he was an attention seeker, and its all abit pointless. I mean i wouldnt give a shit what they earn, but the secrecy would bother me, and then i would become paranoid and suspicious. But surely, in a relationship in order to make plans and plan for the future people must tell each other their incomes. I just find it strange.
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