MOD & FOD #5 Don't be fooled by the crap that I flog, I'm still I'm still Clemmie from the blog

[Nemokel]

I’m a 35 year old educated woman with two young children, married, working full time- and I can’t believe how much I’ve been sucked into the Instagram black hole!!! I’m actually embarrassed at myself for lusting after the jewellery, the cushions, the clothes, even the holidays. I’m so glad I found this site. It’s brought me back down to earth with a bump and I’m so glad. I know this site may be perceived as mean or bitter by outsiders but it’s just a true and honest view, which is much needed. Honestly, I’m so shocked at myself and glad that MOD and clemmie Telford (I cant stand that wannabe MOD) started to post things that disillusioned me slightly and led me here. I’m feeling much better after being here and reading these posts. Not because I’m enjoying the negativity, but because I’m enjoying the truths and the clearer views- rather than the “insta” views perceived through rose tinted glasses. Anyway, thankyou all, I’m feeling much less crap about my life and how much I have to work and I’m feeling very lucky with my little family and my little lot- even if we are always skint I’d much rather have my life than the life of those we talk about- and thats the truth.

 

[Kutikuti]

So I was reading some of the comments on MODs photo and someone commented that they saw the photo being taken. So I went on her Instagram and there’s a video of the act they were watching, if you look closely in the bottom left corner you can see the twins playing with a lady wearing an orange T-shirt that says “Feckelss festival nanny”. So yeah, that’s how they go to a festival with 4 kids and have a great time with their mates, they have nanny

 

[GreyWolf]

Holier than thou MP.....yeah she has her flex appeal, great....but she's the same as the rest....gousto, M&S etc.....just trying to get you to buy things you dont need

You see now I have a soft spot for MP. She’s messaged me numerous times, made me laugh, been helpful and generally lifted my day a number of times with humour and compassion. She is open about ads and if pulled up on one does not block and delete, she use the info (pampers and conversations about washable nappies and biodegradable products etc) her ads are often ok and her house is not gifted white goods, gifted tiles, gifted sofas etc. She is careful that products are vaguely relatable (crisps?!) I don’t mind because I know what’s going on. She generally shows herself wearing clothes from monki etc which some weeks I can afford. No sleepyhead or deliveroo shoved in your face. All in all MP has been positive in my life to follow. God knows her real ness of breastfeeding and body shape and clothing saved me in my dark post baby hours. I’m sorry but saintly MOD does none of this.
MP has also addressed kids, photos of kids, safety issues etc, all these things she discusses and comes back to. She’s not perfect, but if MOD did half what she does I’d have a lot more respect for her.

 

[Instashamous]

I honestly am lost for words now. I feel incredibly embarrassed for them, their children, anyone who watched them and enjoyed it, the dog because he has to live with them, the bbq Is probably humiliated too. Anyone who watched that entire set has their head further up MOD’s crack than that hideous leotard she’s got on.

 

[Tothemoonandback]

Wow. I can understand booking a nanny for the evening if you want to head out for a bit of grown up night time fun, but have one throughout the day?? That's rather lazy parenting.

I disagree that it’s lazy. Having 4 kids (2 toddlers) at a festival must be a nightmare. I’m not surprised that a family of 4 kids wants to hire help. The issue for me here is that they’ve flogged the idea to their followers of this “family friendly festival” and have sold everyone a total fabrication (i.e. that you can have a great time partying at a festival with your kids.
In reality these “influencers” are hiring nannies on the down low and I feel they have misled their followers. If the ODS had admitted in advance that they were going to use hired help because they wanted to enjoy the festival, I’d have had far more respect for them as at least their audience would be in the full picture and appreciate that if you can’t afford to hire help, taking kids to a festival is going to be hard work.


The ODS are playing this festival game on “easy mode” and are failing to declare this but FOD has the cheek to encourage others to “limit screen time”. You couldn’t make it up.
It’s all smoke and mirrors again

 

[GingerRogers]

‘Fanny admin’ WTF?? Isn’t there enough to do/concentrate on when you’re pregnant rather than ‘fanny admin’ - I couldn’t reach round my huuuuge bumps and guess what, I didn’t give a shit

Let me tell you, as a qualified midwife, we literally couldn’t give a flying fuck how neat or unruly your pubes are. Or if you’ve shaved your legs. Or bleached your arsehole. Or painted your toenails. Or has a poo for the last two days. What we want is a healthy baby coming out of your vagina or your abdomen and as quick a recovery and minimal blood loss for our clients as possible.

I had one of my colleagues deliver my baby and I didn’t even care about screaming the words “THIS HURTS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER” as my son was crowning in the pool. My bush was the least of my worries!!

 

[CyanideKiss]

Right, okay, so they're happy to shell out £30 an hour on a festival Nanny, at a family orientated festival, where they're meant to be, you know, actually chilling out with their own kids - but when they actually have to do some genuine work (though I mean that in its loosest possible sense when it comes to her jottings on Gas & Air) suddenly they are fraught, over worked average parents, juggling deadlines and childcare. You know, just like everybody else.

Yeah, except no one else is juggling with already £240K in the bank, with a freebie Gusto box supplying your dinner, as you type on your gifted computer, sitting in your freebie decorated living room, most likely wearing freebie clothes + freebie lingerie. All the while grinding your freebie giant teeth at Tattlers calling you out on your gratuitous greed and lack of integrity.

 

[Tothemoonandback]

‘Reducing screen-time’ tips for Bestival was totally fake, we booked a secret nanny for #adultheadache

Or

‘Hanging out’ with a secret nanny, doing admin on my fanny

 

[Sherry50672]

Can’t stop laughing at him calling bestival “the best night of his life” playing some basic tracks to a tent load of saddos

 

[Youngmum29]

Hi long time lurker, first time writer.

I just wanted to tell you all that reading this thread (and the many others like it) has been like reading my own thoughts. I find myself aggressively nodding along to (almost) everything I read on here. You are a beacon of hope for all the non insta famous people in the world who feel like they’re struggling with something/don’t feel insta worthy/ or are feeling shitty because of these absolutely “amazing, inspiring, beautiful” women pushing their fake and sometimes fucking hideous lives on us every minute of the day .

I love you and salute you all

 

[jeaner]

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Here we go - blag, blag, blag!!! Wouldn’t care but it’s so fucking obvious isn’t it - would love to ‘buy’ - my arse

Haha, you beat me to it! Beggy Mitchell strikes again

 

[Tothemoonandback]

Those responses are amusing. Just proves how truly dim and unaware the fan girls are. Like I said, those same girls who dotted their i's with ickle hearts at school, and we're gently encouraged to do a childcare course, rather than actual academic subjects.

Those responses are amusing. Just proves how truly dim and unaware the fan girls are. Like I said, those same girls who dotted their i's with ickle hearts at school, and we're gently encouraged to do a childcare course, rather than actual academic subjects

Oops, don't know why it posted twice? Or substituted were for we're?

Wow such intellectual snobbery here! Childcare is an amazing profession and not for the faint hearted. I could never do it. I speak as someone who did “actual academic subjects” myself and work in finance. I imagine someone who works in childcare will get much more job satisfaction than me and is making a far greater contribution to society.
Anyway back on topic ...

 

[Babel]

Fu*k me ragged, a festival Nanny

We have reached the pinnacle of middle class insta-parent cringe wankery.

Sod those kids hey ODs, got to make a buck!

 

[Tothemoonandback]

Yes, I think this is what the instamums are preying on, whether it’s intentional or not. Lonely people who are looking for a connection. These people are not your friends.

I agree. I myself was that lonely lost person as a new mum. Looking for a new ‘tribe’ I listened intently when MOD told us that a Tiba and Marl bag was an “essential” baby item. I started saving for one and also ‘Mama’ and ‘scamp and dude’ sweatshirts. Thank goodness I never actually bought this stuff though. It makes me cringe that I was so suckered in. I think that’s why many of us are on Tattle. We are angry that we were manipulated at a vulnerable time because MOD and co were never transparent about #gifts and #Ads - especially 2-3 years ago which is the time I’d just had a baby

 

[Lulabella-Mozzarella]

Here we go - blag, blag, blag!!! Wouldn’t care but it’s so fucking obvious isn’t it - would love to ‘buy’ - my arse

 

[NoseyP2019]

One of the biggest shifts with having a family is the loss of freedom. As a newish mum I very very rarely socialise at night, I struggle to do much beyond work and care for my family. I only use childcare for working and I do the minimum hours possible so that I am the primary presence. There is no “me time” in my week. I researched my childcare and did a gradual introduction of it. I feel that using a random new person to look after your children in an ad hoc way is likely to be stressful for your child and you don’t know if they are also up to the job. For this reason we don’t do any “partying” as that would require trusting a new person with a minimal relationship.

I have often felt like I’m failing when I see instaparents off at festivals etc, making it look effortless. MOD often makes it look like you can have 4 kids and still socialise loads, etc. I find I’m too exhausted from sleep deprivation, work, trying to be a hands on mum, etc. To find out through this forum how much help they have really disgusts me. They must know the impact their charade of carefree family life has on new parents who are full of doubt. I’m tired of being sold a lie about how you can have it all by these fake devoted mothers. You can’t be that devoted if you can be apart from your children that much and fob them off on any old person.

 

[Madbadsad]

Well, quite. Because, lest we forget, she is so amazingly passionate about midwifery so surely she doesn't care where she actually works?

The midwifery aspect particularly upsets me (maybe cause I’m also a midwife). It seems particularly cunty to exploit that as her USP when it’s clear she doesn’t really care/ actually work as a midwife much.
There are some wonderful midwives and birth workers out there but they’re not as pretty so perhaps don’t get the same publicity. Or the message that she’s truly about - making others feel inadequate so they buy shit- just doesn’t sit well alongside.
The name ‘midwife’ means ‘with woman’. Is she really with all women? Not from what I’ve seen

 

[motherofdonkeys]

Considering MOD posted to say they had only employed a nanny to look after the twins during their Saturday night DJ'ing set, the nanny appears in an awful lot of the pictures. It's almost like, they've had a nanny the whole festival and are, well, dare I say it..... lying

 

[Anotherct]

FOD - Sod safeguarding, I’m going to let some random bloke carry my 8 year old
(I’m sure the guy was lovely but there’s no way I would let anyone in don’t know carry my kids! )

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As an avid gig and festival goer who both me and my partner work in the industry, this doesn’t bother me in any way shape or form. I see this all the time and *most* people are there for the same reason and as long as he didn’t leave her alone with him, I don’t see this as a problem. It’s an innocent act of kindness (we hope) and we can’t all accuse every man that wants to help as wanting to do something sinister.

FOD is still a nob and he needs to learn how to safe guard in other ways (bath pics etc)

 

[OrangeKelp]

We went to Camp Bestival on Saturday for the day (not brave enough to camp!) and I saw FOD and MOD lots of times...didn't see the girls with them once! They spent alot of time sitting with their friends by the food/DJ bit, witnessed some FOD dodgy dancing too

Yes we saw the same. Also FODs insta story about endlessly trekking up hill and down dale with their trolley between car park and campsite was baloney as they were in boutique camping. With a car park right next door.