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heretoreaditall2019 said:

I'm currently in the sleep gadget phase of my research now and finding it difficult, I'm looking at those sleep suits that safely swaddle them (I'm scared of doing it myself because of the hip dysplasia stuff, or accidentally wrapping her too tight) and I feel guilty for thinking the cheaper (we're talking £18 vs. >£30 not like £1.50 vs £50 where you'd genuinely be like...how the fuck is that possible) ones actually look better as she'll have free arms to self soothe & it'll be summer so hot, like I MUST be wrong with that why else would they be more expensive?! I dread to think how it'll be if/when she does struggle with sleep :/ !!

and good catch on private insta. They won't be able to post their zoom party or social event pics anymore either lest CH manages to get into the frame ! Bless em x

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Tangent: don't overthink the swaddling thing. A large muslin will do. My daughter fucking hated being swaddled. She was an enormous birthweight and I think she was glad to get out of there and stretch out. Tried it once and she let me know in no uncertain terms not to do it again!

I didn't really bother swaddling my second either. I just kind of forgot? He probably would have enjoyed it more because he's a big old cuddle bug. These things seem so important at the time, but in the long run they don't really matter.

I remember, years ago, when my first born was three weeks old and I left her at home with my husband while I went to the corner shop for some emergency chocolate. The queue was mega long and I had proper anxiety about how long it was taking in case she would think I had abandoned her and start missing me. LOL. She's in the other room on an iPad right now and could literally give zero fucks.

sunflower said:

You’re aware and you’ll be fine! Sorry to hear about the job though.

The thing is, is when you are a new mum (and this is my personal experience) you suddenly have a lot of time on your hands - some days you literally don’t get off the sofa when your baby is growing through a growth spurt! To be honest, it can be really bloody boring, especially if you come from a challenging job (and I mean this in the nicest way - being a mum is amazing but it doesn’t require mental stimulation.) So you start wondering why you’re feeling that way and like you say, somethings going to fill the gap.

Instagram wasn’t around when my eldest was born, but by the time my youngest was born I wasn’t interested in social media much. But I did hang around a “mamas” forum, which looking back was very cringe and there was a lot of squuuuueeeeing over new products etc. I did go through a stage of buying lots of wooden toys imported from Germany which were easy on the eye, but my baby preferred Fisher Price.

The thing is, is when you see through these influencers you can’t unsee it.

Just remember 99% of those on Instagram have an agenda. Follow inspiring people on there - gardeners, poets, mad artists, activists. People who make me think, not people who make you buy.

Honestly it’s such bullshit and yet another way to oppress women - keep telling them they’re broken.

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Just want to say thanks for posting this. I'm a first time mum of twins (18 weeks old now) and all 3 of us are on the sofa in PJ's watching our second film of the day while they cling to my boobs currently. I love my career and am an academic so it's eally bloody hard to suddenly stop using my brain the way I'm used to. I think that's why I like commenting on here - as it's engaging to talk to all you ladies. On top of that my partner had to move out 12 weeks ago as he works with Covid patients. Insta mum's make me feel like shit. I followed the Hooper's when I found out I was pregnant with twins but all they really did was show me overpriced crap, perfect Scandinavian wooden toys and that twins should always be perfectly coordinated or you're crap. The winner in my house is the most obnoxiously loud musical playmatt from Fischer Price. Thanks for making me feel normal

2020two said:

Just want to say thanks for posting this. I'm a first time mum of twins (18 weeks old now) and all 3 of us are on the sofa in PJ's watching our second film of the day while they cling to my boobs currently. I love my career and am an academic so it's eally bloody hard to suddenly stop using my brain the way I'm used to. I think that's why I like commenting on here - as it's engaging to talk to all you ladies. On top of that my partner had to move out 12 weeks ago as he works with Covid patients. Insta mum's make me feel like shit. I followed the Hooper's when I found out I was pregnant with twins but all they really did was show me overpriced crap, perfect Scandinavian wooden toys and that twins should always be perfectly coordinated or you're crap. The winner in my house is the most obnoxiously loud musical playmatt from Fischer Price. Thanks for making me feel normal

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Oh bless you it’s tough! Just don’t go looking at those awful accounts which show you “real parenting” unless you want to cringe so badly your bum cheeks will hurt! Like why can’t we just be normal mums? Why do we need gin o clock and a competition over how “feral” our children are? What’s up with all these labels we force upon ourselves?

I’ll be honest, I once sat on my toilet in tears while flicking through the Boden catalogue. I honestly thought that buying a revolting £200 yellow cross body satchel would bring me back to the “old me.” The one who could covort around Notting Hill with a bright lipstick and a fresh blow dry like the women in the pages in front of me. Truth is, is you never go back to the old you. And it’s not a bad thing, it’s just different

Stock up on nice snacks, stick on a good comedy (have you seen Schitts Creek?) and let them bash out a tune on the plastic tat!

2020two said:

Just want to say thanks for posting this. I'm a first time mum of twins (18 weeks old now) and all 3 of us are on the sofa in PJ's watching our second film of the day while they cling to my boobs currently. I love my career and am an academic so it's eally bloody hard to suddenly stop using my brain the way I'm used to. I think that's why I like commenting on here - as it's engaging to talk to all you ladies. On top of that my partner had to move out 12 weeks ago as he works with Covid patients. Insta mum's make me feel like shit. I followed the Hooper's when I found out I was pregnant with twins but all they really did was show me overpriced crap, perfect Scandinavian wooden toys and that twins should always be perfectly coordinated or you're crap. The winner in my house is the most obnoxiously loud musical playmatt from Fischer Price. Thanks for making me feel normal

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Awww this is lovely, congrats!! This sounds blissfully cosy and tbh well done on coping alone for 12 weeks, that must have been impossibly difficult. You definitely shouldn’t feel like shit because your twins aren’t in matching Regatta kill suits you’re clearly bossing motherhood!

I’ve found tattle the same and really appreciated all the amazing advice I’ve gotten so far - thank you @Wolf359 and @sunflower and @Affiliatemebaby re swaddling And tbh everyone we’ve all had candid chats about motherhood that aren’t a sneaky slow burn for a pending #afflink which is really wonderful.

Fellow twin mom here and I'm sorry I wasted any time when they were babies wishing I had what all these mumfluencers had. Children dont give a shit about labels and scandi toys, whether I was wearing the right boot or red lippy. I'm sad I wasted any of that time wishing I was like them. My two are a month younger than the fod twins so I followed her all through the pregnancy and after.

I’ve got to admit I was totally influenced last year. I started following some quirky Japanese potters who were just so cool. I totally daydreamed about becoming a “creative” and invested in what I can only describe is a linen smock. With pockets. It’s effing ridiculous. I do not look like a avant garde artist just popping out from their studio, I look like an utter twat.

Anyway sorry to derail. Back to the ODs.

Wolf359 said:

I wasn't explaining myself very clearly. Luckily some other posters on here could decipher my nonsense and help translate!

I was talking about people who deliberately grow their accounts to become 'brands' and vehicles for selling third party stuff.

My mates on instagram and I only have about a hundred followers each. I post pics I've taken of bees in my garden, or a funny sign I saw on a lamp post. I can't think of anything worse than having tens or hundreds of thousands of followers. People recognising you and thinking they know you and your family. Awful.

My sense is that, nice, ordinary, well-adjusted people don't go chasing that kind of exposure. The point I was trying to make is that if that level of profile is attractive to you, it's probably indicative of an ego problem.

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Exactly this. I cannot get my head around why they have not just withdrawn from Insta given how toxic it was for them (or at least CH). It is very odd.

sunflower said:

I’ve got to admit I was totally influenced last year. I started following some quirky Japanese potters who were just so cool. I totally daydreamed about becoming a “creative” and invested in what I can only describe is a linen smock. With pockets. It’s effing ridiculous. I do not look like a avant garde artist just popping out from their studio, I look like an utter twat.

Anyway sorry to derail. Back to the ODs.

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This is my danger zone, I love looking at artists and creatives...I then toddle off to EBay to cost up potter wheels and wood whittling supplies....then I come to my senses and head over to Pinterest to look at more pretty pictures of lovely idilic lives before realising that my PAYE pay check is comforting and I like my job!

sunflower said:

I’ve got to admit I was totally influenced last year. I started following some quirky Japanese potters who were just so cool. I totally daydreamed about becoming a “creative” and invested in what I can only describe is a linen smock. With pockets. It’s effing ridiculous. I do not look like a avant garde artist just popping out from their studio, I look like an utter twat.

Anyway sorry to derail. Back to the ODs.

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Please show us this smock

OhhBacon said:

This is my danger zone, I love looking at artists and creatives...I then toddle off to EBay to cost up potter wheels and wood whittling supplies....then I come to my senses and head over to Pinterest to look at more pretty pictures of lovely idilic lives before realising that my PAYE pay check is comforting and I like my job!

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Yeah there’s a fine line between loving the dream and living in a dream!

I am really not very creative and in my wiser years I have realised that my plans are best left in my head. Although the idea of wearing my potato sack whilst frolicking around the woods sounds quite fun!

heretoreaditall2019 said:

Please show us this smock

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I shan’t be showing anyone (my son was like mum please take that off) but I can paint a picture with words for you

Heretoread84 said:

There's tea to be spilled about budget Clemmie. I've just looked at her Twitter and she's deleted everything pre April 2019 -but has likes going back to 2017. Probably wanted to delete her association with MoD and FoD.

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She definitely won’t say anything, think it’s hilarious she’s claiming she condemned her comments at the time when she didn’t! Glad she had been called out

Just to add my ten penny’s worth and join the tangent of refreshing mum chat, I’m currently 5&half months along with a 3yr old at my feet (eating chocolate watching Paw Patrol for the umpteenth time) but completely remember having all those thoughts @heretoreaditall2019 first time round! I think because you (as in all of us first time round) have no idea what it will be like it’s easy to worry about making the right decisions and getting the right things.
This time round, while I still don’t know it all (do we ever?!) there is a confidence about knowing what we do/don’t need (bar a new car seat most will be recycled from my first) and being able to block out some of the stuff that seems to be thrown at you when pregnant and also accepting (to some extent) that babies are all their own person, some are really receptive to gadgets and gizmos and others won’t give a flying fuck and do their own thing in their own time, whether that’s sleeping/eating/potty training/walking/talking etc. It’s just disheartening that influencers see mums especially first time mums as cash cows and don’t think of the consequences.
The swaddling chat made me chuckle @Wolf359 - after I’d given birth they swaddled my son and when he was put on my chest he made it clear he liked his arms to be free and really disliked being swaddled or tucked into a blanket! The midwife kept trying to tuck his arms back in to no avail.
And yes @sunflower to those early days being repetitive/boring, regardless to how much you love your baby it’s just the way it is and is completely ok/normal.
Not sure who said it but agree you are different post children but that’s ok. It’s just when you’re watching these influencers online thinking they know it all/depicting what it’s like you can’t see the wood for the trees! I guess that’s why I have a soft spot for the Unmumsy Mum as she seems more realistic in what she shoes and doesn’t seem to peddle crap or claim that XYZ is the secret answer to perfect parenting/children.

I’m heavily pregnant too, reading this thread in the hospital! My first kid loved a swaddle, so much that it became a “blankie” situation and the poxy stinky thing still goes everywhere. Sneak it for washes on days when I can get it dried quickly. Rank.
Am personally enjoying reporting all the pregnancy/baby gear targeted ads.

I am one of those suckers who buys imported German wooden toys and scandi clothing

It’s environmental factor for me. Kids wearing clothes a couple times and them needing to be binned irks me. And the resale price is pretty stable.

that being said there are no pictures of said toys on my insta or bragging posts about how stylish my kid is

Instashamous said:

I am one of those suckers who buys imported German wooden toys and scandi clothing

It’s environmental factor for me. Kids wearing clothes a couple times and them needing to be binned irks me. And the resale price is pretty stable.

that being said there are no pictures of said toys on my insta or bragging posts about how stylish my kid is

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Oh listen they are lovely and I would rather be looking at them but the cost is prohibitive for me with twins and also as much as I try to push lovely clothes that appeal to me on my two they have their own minds now and just want unicorns and Elsa and all that tat. No shade on those products just that they and most other stuff are pretty unnecessary and just happen to be the aesthetic that the mummy brigade were/are shilling.

OneLineResponse said:

This woman would jump on any bandwagon. She'd sell her soul to be an influencer.

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She's been in here responding to @heretoreaditall2019

I also need to see the smock.

Instashamous said:

I am one of those suckers who buys imported German wooden toys and scandi clothing

It’s environmental factor for me. Kids wearing clothes a couple times and them needing to be binned irks me. And the resale price is pretty stable.

that being said there are no pictures of said toys on my insta or bragging posts about how stylish my kid is

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That’s the difference though - you’re not bragging!

I wish my eldest would still wear Scandi clothes!

An acquaintance of mine is a photographer on Instagram. She takes beautiful shots of her children, and very much sells the slow lifestyle. All little fingers holding daisies in a wheat field, misty windows and wooden cups filled with warm milk and honey. It’s beautiful but very cliched. Anyway her daughter, who really is star of the show (ie gets her the most likes and is requested for ad campaigns) is at an age where she absolutely refuses to wear straw hats and Earth toned linen smocks (yes just like mine!!) She could get away with it before she had an opinion, but she’d much rather be tottering around in her plastic Barbie heels than Saltwaters.

sunflower said:

That’s the difference though - you’re not bragging!

I wish my eldest would still wear Scandi clothes!

An acquaintance of mine is a photographer on Instagram. She takes beautiful shots of her children, and very much sells the slow lifestyle. All little fingers holding daisies in a wheat field, misty windows and wooden cups filled with warm milk and honey. It’s beautiful but very cliched. Anyway her daughter, who really is star of the show (ie gets her the most likes and is requested for ad campaigns) is at an age where she absolutely refuses to wear straw hats and Earth toned linen smocks (yes just like mine!!) She could get away with it before she had an opinion, but she’d much rather be tottering around in her plastic Barbie heels than Saltwaters.

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That is very interesting - what age is she?

Edit: to guage if the teins might be protesting yet...

Wolf359 said:

I also need to see the smock.

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I might do you a recreation of Clemmie’s infamous Marks and Spencer’s show down with the smock.

I can show you how to style it with a bare leg and a Birkenstock or leggings and a boot. It’s very versatile you know. I like to layer a polo underneath on colder days, or a cheeky flash of a lacey cami for date night.

The pockets are what make it for me. So deep and practical for a working mum on the go (I’ll look wistfully, if not a little smugly through my fringe at this point.)

This is where I keep all the hair bands (head thrown back and a silent laugh like someone in my art studio has made a really funny joke.)