MOD & FOD #28 Pink jumpsuit MAMIL, toe of camel, had corona, but got no boner

[Dogmuck]

My husband is also a professional arguer -but only occasionally dons a wig- and could give FOD a run for his money( earns more than him as well and also has dyslexia, but we don't flaunt our lifestyle like the MOD/FODs do as we have integrity).
let's face it FOD is not the sharpest tool in the box ( nor is Clammie for that matter) His faux ramblings and observations are so cringeworthy and so non PC , the grammar is appalling for someone so apparently high up in his career ...do wonder what his work think of his witterings? I'm sure he's the office twat you all try to avoid ...no wonder he works from home and keeps being sent abroad

It’s my opinion that he is actually quite stupid if not he’s definitely Jonny average in terms of intelligence.

I don’t really know what his job is but I’ve worked with a lot of very stupid public school boys in my life. In my profession, back in the day, getting into chambers and getting work was much easier if your daddy was a judge or was in those chambers, it didn’t matter if you were basically stupid, despite the best education money could buy, you could orate with a plumb in your mouth and boy do the judiciary love that!

So despite FODs private education and middle class upbringing, he has a job in London, apologies to the London crew, but it’s a fact that there are many more opportunities in London and he’s a white middle class man who can speak perfect English, so definitely more desirable (to some companies) than the European/Asian female intellectual who’s English isn’t quite as polished. He’s not what I would consider a “high flyer” and he’s in his late 30’s which is the time most high flyers shine and really concentrate their efforts on their career. He on the other hand is working from home, being daddy day care and dressing up in his wife’s clothes whilst dancing around in front of his phone...he is a basic twat!
Holy Fod I’m on one today - apologies for my ramblings. It’s either this or the ironing....Rambling 4 - Ironing 0

 

[ILoveUnicorns]

What a fucking
I’ve not been on till now because I was in shock about the mum porn post!
However, just watched the stories about building the planters where he makes out he’s done it today and then announces ‘2 weeks on they’re still alive’- so 2 weeks ago he was building planters? Wasn’t he meant to be in the grip of covid then? Can anyone draw up some kind of diagram of when he’s said he was ill/when we know he blatantly wasn’t

He had the Insta Covid 19 though so you know you can still go out and do stuff

 

[Slatternly]

I’m just trying to process the mumporn post. He’s slowly committing insta suicide isn’t he? It’s almost Shakespearean. Our tragic dad hero just won’t read the signs and warnings will he? It sounds like he’s losing his marbles and has been isolated from normal, functioning human beings and has lost all touch with reality. He needs that bloke he forced at gunpoint to go with him to the uae to sit him down and give him and intervention.

Who on earth is going to find that funny? It’s not 1983?? The sexy voice. The thought of him practising his porn voice as his children look on and he tells them to stop interrupting. Simon doing a porn voice. Fods. Porn. Voice. Just think about that for a second.

 

[AmberSpyglass]

I don’t think I’ve ever bought a bar of soap in my adult life, apart from the odd Lush one to try and cure eczema? A soap dish is for nanas these days surely?

wait is your sister young or adult? I hope this isn’t a nonce message just a creep?

In the defence of soap bars , I am loving lathering up my hands with a bar of Dettol, the bubbles are terrific.

#notsponsored#ipaidforeverything.

 

[Bla bla bla yawn]

That 4 year old twin throwing a paddy sounds like she is on par with my 2 year old, speech and language wise..
Also why not just get her another fucking towel?! I don’t bow to my kids every demand but something as daft as wanting two towels - fuck it, let her have another towel, does it really matter? Surely they have enough John Lewis #gifted towels to go around?!

 

[yellow_daisies]

Fod’s comment is hilariously indicative of the real fod. Arrogant little newt man thinks his ‘ideas’ should take precedence. Again, like a teenage prefect whose had his tuck shop plans ignored by student council.

‘Is that all you’ve learnt over the last 4 weeks?’ Oh the irony. Fod has learnt nothing at all and never will whilst he parades about with his utterly misplaced self belief.

The passive aggression of ‘I can solve this problem for you personally.’ Wrong use of the word ‘personally’ fod you fucking moron. How chippy and pass agg and I can imagine what a cold, chippy cunt he is to clemmie.

I’ll say it and I’ll say it again. Worra class a cunt.

I haven't got a lot of time for Clemmie, but I really do feel that she ended up stuck with him. I wonder if she was in a more fulfilling marriage where her husband doesnt take constant swipes at her, she'd be more pleasant and less dead behind the eyes. I dont recall ever seeing Clem excited about anything, unless you count the open mouth faux excited face she caught off Dress Like a Mum. She seems a bit of a cold fish anyway, and being with that pillock for (presumably) 14 years, has snapped any remaining joy out of her. No wonder she always appeared to be away or out and about when the alternative was an evening with Simon "if I was chocolate, I'd eat myself" Hooper.

 

[Alliealoop]

He just makes my skin crawl. Do you honestly think anyone likes his crap??! I hate people chucking kids around. I never did it with mine he seems to think the twins are just there for him to throw about.
Give them some posh space and leave them one. I hated people picking me up when I was little. God he is so awful.
So many people died today, 10,000 this week, I really can't believe people are in the mood for his attention seeking crap.
Mortifying.
And my god she has sex with him I mean can you imagine anyone less attractive or fanciable.
Ick

 

[Expectopotato]

Just posted about how he has £50 a month going out of their accounts on apps that he has been subscribing too for years. Didn’t even notice. How completely unaware. I’m pretty sure £50 a month would be noticed going out of most people’s accounts particularly at the moment.

 

[OhMyWord]

So we’re to believe his older 2 girls have thus far: tie dyed and messed up carpets at night, cut own fringe around 10pm and put multiple piercings into ear(s?) ??

I have kids, I have a teen. I don’t claim to be the best parent or know everything that’s going on at all times but it sounds like they could use some more parenting and less ‘dad making shitty videos for Texas huns.’

The armchair psychologist in me wonders if they’re acting out for any specific reason?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

He’s such a sleaze in every way imaginable - weird pent up sexual frustration, obsession with genitalia, and about 20 years of missed social development.

We all work with men like this and we all know the lengths we go to in order to not to get trapped with them as they’ll inevitably say something fucking odd.

 

[Pocahontas]

Thoughts on FOD’s latest:

1. Another (badly spelled) Dear Diary post and self-congratulatory photo of Clemmie’s personal and private note to the family, meant to inspire swathes of similar privileged, middle-class families in lock-down, all crammed in together in a large, many multi-roomed house. So amazing and what imaginative parents in this time of collective crisis.
2. It is so utterly repugnant to film himself while reacting to his child’s meltdown for content - I don’t care who does it or how many followers you have - it’s never cool or relatable and it does not foster a feeling of ‘we’ve all been there’. We all know this! Most of us have been there, I know I have, but never not once have I thought it would be really fucking funny or kind to post a picture of my kid screaming and me reacting. Dick.
3. Wow, I really missed her lifeless, flat monotone SO MUCH.
4. She looked better with a fringe.

 

[Walnutss]

Why is everything he does he massive fuck up even getting corona virus something that should garner well wishes and sympathy he manages to lie about. The two of them couldn't tell the truth if the were paid to do it.

 

[SaladDressing]

Probably something old school. Eternity for men, or similar

FFS this Aldi vodka has a lot to answer for

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

His reply to that amazing comment about how for lots of influencers it’s their only source of income. I mean, sure. Except! Most ~influencers HAD employment and once the world of #gifted #spon paid enough they left. I can start listing influencers who did just that, easily, if you’d like FOD? So let’s not run off with some ‘oh poor influencers, woe is me tale.’

Yep! Precisely! No one is leaving school and applying to Instagram for an influencership? Imagine going down the job centre, pits are closed so here you are hun flat tummy teas for you x

He simply refuses to take accountability for their decisions, these are choices you made!! And he wasn’t hard up, they had alright jobs and minted parents so these choices were purely motivated by greed and excess! Why not speak about that? They still want that hence house of horrors account the hypocrites!

It is possible to be a big insta page and not be a cunt. We had that lovely example from that wonderful mum to be (can’t remember her name) who acknowledged the responsibility she has to her community and made clear that she won’t sell baby tat to them. You’ve got influencers who work with a handful of brands they genuinely like. The minute you make your sole income influencer content you are the brands’ bitch and have to promote any old tat for cash.

And also, disclosure is a thing... that the SODs never fucking do. The pure hypocrisy.

 

[Dogmuck]

Every so often I love an argument with a stupid person, I ended up arguing with someone local who was posting conspiracy theories re covid on our local page, it was mildly entertaining for a bit. Especially when she referred me to YouTube when I asked for peer reviewed evidence

Oh. FOD's a twat. I can't even bear to hate watch his stories atm.

I’ve lost LOADS of “friends” on social media (mainly Brexit bastards) arguing. I had to stop myself posting stuff. Then covid 19 came along and I realised that I still have really Fuxking stupid mates...it’s surprised me...putting out bullshit “facts”, annoying as fuck memes but just the other day someone, who I know really well and I know is a bit stupid, put a post up about CV being “a man made disease, made in China, to ruin the wests economy”. I typed a massive response, then thought nah she doesn’t need publicly shaming for being a stupid twat, so I rang her and told her she was being a stupid twat. She had a bit of a lame argument conspiracy theory shite, which took all of 3 seconds to quash (I argue for a living ffs!), then she said, actually you’re right and took down the post.
I think I’m going to do this going forward with friends but continue calling out twats like FoD publicly...only because I haven’t got his phone number

 

[Axatogrind]

WTF. No words.

Sitting on the toilet for so long that you can't remember if you wiped is like a metaphor for following along this whole sorry MOD and FOD saga and asking myself just why I'm still here.

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

The latest post is so frustrating. I don’t act like I’m a dog in heat because my husband acts like a adult and does what every male (person) should and do his fair share of household chores. Why would I praise him for doing something he should be doing? We are still so bloody far behind in equality. For instance, one of my friends who has just moved in with her boyfriend is delighted because as long as she tells him to do something he does it. Fuck off! I’m not here to parent my partner. I shouldn’t have to explain what needs to be done. If I can bloody have the sense to see and do it, they can too. We share the chores and he doesn’t get a fucking treat for just doing what he should.

 

[Quite Contrary]

FODs content is so shit people would rather talk about soap instead

Can we just skip to a new thread with this as the title please, thank you

 

[Britney Spiers Morgan]

#29 Numbers falling, content’s fictitious, FOD thinks he’s funny but he’s actually pernicious

 

[Titfer]

I think I actually hate him.

Back to the Covid 19 claims- a week ago, the parent of one of my youngest's friends posted on Facebook, saying that after the worst three weeks of their lives they were all, thankfully on the mend.

Turns out they had IT, she is an NHS worker and got tested. My husband's boss is friends with them, he spoke to them last night (I'm adding these details as a timeline) they are still struggling with the exhaustion and are actually in shock about how poorly they were. Neither of them will be returning to work for another two weeks at least.

The SODS didn't have it....